My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1469: Chapter 1263: Painted Heart

They can no longer ignore each other; true love exists forever. In fact, no one knows how painful it was the moment we let each other go.

”Yichen, Dad knows that my abandonment caused you an indelible harm, but do you know? If it weren’t for your father’s abandonment, how could you possibly have the happy life you have now? I know some things can’t be explained easily, but I also hope that you can trust your biological father once. We never thought about completely abandoning you. In our hearts, you will always be our precious son. We, as parents, cannot help but love our child. Time and again, we rejected you at the door, time and again, we refused to recognize you as our son. Do you know how conflicted and painful it was for us as parents? We would silently shed tears every time, but you? You have already reached the pinnacle of life that others cannot even dream of achieving. Don’t you feel happy?”

When Zhang Zhentian said this, it only made him feel worse. Clearly, his biological father stood right there—why did his father have to treat him like this? Was it because of their abandonment that he would feel happier? Their abandonment caused him so much harm, and he never enjoyed any father’s or mother’s love. Now they have the audacity to give such dignified reasons, expecting him to happily forgive them?

”You think that because you left me these years, I have been happy and joyful. But do you know how much torment and pain I have endured over the years? I constantly remind myself that my parents do not love me, nor did they deliberately abandon me—they have their unavoidable reasons. However, time and again, I comfort myself in this way, deceiving myself. Do you know? I have gradually become numb—I have come to believe every word everyone in the world says: that my parents, no matter where or when, love their biological son. As long as their biological son needs them, they would do anything for me.

You think your departure is my greatest happiness, but do you know how hard my life has been all these years? Do you understand what it’s like to deceive yourself? Do you understand the feeling of knowing full well that something is impossible, yet still persuading yourself that it will become a reality, that your parents would not be so cruel to abandon you? How does this make you feel?”

When Xia Jing heard her son say this, her heart ached as a mother. She never thought her son would live such a difficult life, day by day, deceiving himself into believing that his parents love him. Her heart suffered even more upon realizing that all the consequences were due to her actions. Why was this? Why does all the pain have to be blamed on her child? Why let him suffer so much? If time could turn back, she would never have decided to abandon her child. The outcome would not have been like this, seeing his pain now hurts even more than a knife stabbing her heart.

”Son, it’s me, your mom, who let you down. If I had known our relationship would become so bad, I would never have left you. Leaving you is the thing I regret most in my life. I know, every child wishes to be accompanied by their parents. Yet you lacked parental love for so many years. It must have been hard for you to reach where you are today on your own. Who are we to say such hardhearted things? We just hoped you could live happily. For us as parents, as long as our child can live happily, what else matters?

As long as you can be happy, we can disregard everything else. We gave up everything to return home and accompany you; at that moment, we realized clearly that nothing in the world is more important than our own child. What our child cares about most is whether his parents are by his side. My father and I have been so wrong all these years. We committed grave mistakes, never staying by your side, leaving you alone for so many years. You must hate us, but even if you hate us parents, it’s understandable. We abandoned you, caused you so much harm. If you don’t hate us, we wouldn’t believe it. But regardless of whether you hate us or not, in our hearts, you are always our dearest son. This is a fact that will never change in this lifetime.”

”Mom, actually, you shouldn’t say that. Deep down in my heart, I have never blamed you. No matter what, you gave me life. Without your painstaking effort to bring me into this world, I would not have achieved what I have today. I’m really grateful to you. But do you really think I’m happy? Do you think that even though I was abandoned by my own parents, I can continue to live happily? Although I have a wife who loves me so much, although I have a beloved son by my side and my grandfather, my parents never once stayed by my side. To me, that’s a pain—a lifetime, indelible pain. Do you know what kind of understanding and feeling that pain brings to me?

That feeling is indescribable. I don’t even know what tone to use to describe it to you. It hurts so much!

Your decision hurt me, yet ultimately turned me into who I am today. And now you come to appease me—how does this make me feel? If it were you, wouldn’t you feel this is all just an act, that these things are not taken seriously, these matters not cared for at all? Do you think my heart feels good? Everyone should have empathy. Don’t think your so-called happiness is happiness for me. Am I truly happy?”

I genuinely hope that what we have between us is a beautiful myth in each other’s hearts, existing just like a myth. But who can truly remain unchanged in their innermost being?