The Trash Returned from Warhammer

“The Emperor protects.”

As the lavish meal was laid out on the table, the group prayed in silence.

This was not some bizarre religious ritual, and Shinji had never forced it upon anyone. Just as Rei Ayanami had said, they owed their current lives entirely to the Emperor’s protection.

Who among those present hadn’t received the Emperor’s grace? If not for this, Rei would still be a doll; Asuka would have suffered a mental breakdown by now; Ritsuko Akagi would have been discarded like trash; and Misato Katsuragi would be shouldering burdens she was never meant to bear.

As for Shinji, he would be trapped in his own inner sanctum, shouting “I will never pilot an EVA again,” only to be mercilessly dragged forward by fate.

Whether in Rei’s dreams or the world-line observed by Kaworu Nagisa, the entire story was saturated with a thick, tragic color.

To those outside the story, this might be viewed as “depth” or a “masterpiece,” something to be analyzed endlessly. But to those of them inside, it represented endless pain that transcended life and death.

Shinji occasionally pondered what the “plot” was. Now, he could clearly state: “To hell with ‘depth’ and ‘masterpieces.’ The people in this story must have a perfect ending.”

Even if they were just monkeys in a circus to be gawked at, they should not be sacrificial lambs.

“Very good. It seems you have all learned loyalty and gratitude.” Shinji lowered his hands. With the plot having reached this stage, everyone understood many things. Without the Emperor, he would not have returned, and without his return, this play would remain a tragedy.

“You’re all praying. If I didn’t, wouldn’t I look like a contrarian?” Asuka made her usual stubborn remark, but upon seeing Shinji’s gaze, she turned her head away.

For the past few days, she had been pestering Rei, asking what she was like in that dream—whether she was cool, if there was a “counter-attack” arc—only to have her scalp crawl under that red-eyed stare.

‘It seems, perhaps, maybe… I didn’t have a good ending either?’

That was natural. Asuka was the luckiest yet also the most unfortunate. Even if she became an “Eve-like existence” after the end of the world, how could that compare to her current happiness? Therefore, under Shinji’s deliberate guidance, this core group was, at the very least, filled with gratitude.

There was absolutely no “meme-ing” intended. They were truly grateful to the Emperor. The deeper the plan went, the more they appreciated it.

‘What mercy, that He descended His Astartes. What grace, that He returned my soul to its home.’

If not for the education of the 2K era, perhaps this group might have already become zealots. This was evident in Asuka; it had been a long time since she uttered blasphemies like “Golden Commode.” It was as if she realized the Emperor truly existed, and she would occasionally ask for forgiveness, begging Him to be magnanimous and not strike her down with a lightning bolt.

After the prayer, they began to eat. Today, with Ritsuko Akagi present, it wasn’t much different than usual. The Astartes buried his head in his food, speaking rarely. Ritsuko marveled at Shinji’s culinary skills, leaving Misato—who only knew how to use a microwave—feeling smug. After being mocked by Asuka with, “You don’t know how to cook anyway,” she fell into the usual bickering match.

“Misato really has become younger. Someone who didn’t know better would think she was the same age as Asuka.” Ritsuko propped her chin on her hand, watching the show, looking quite gratified.

“As expected of an intellectual, you can insult people without using a single dirty word. Or are you just envious?” Rei, sitting next to her, said coldly. She was playing the “protective mother” role.

‘Exclusionism? But you protecting Misato is an insult in itself, isn’t it?’

Ritsuko glanced sideways. Even she struggled to describe this bizarre circle: the nominal guardian was arguing non-stop with another girl who claimed to be “mature,” while this emotionless doll had become the protector.

“Honestly, if this were a small family, Rei would be playing the role of the mother. It must be very distressing for you to have these troublesome children.”

Rei froze, constantly warning herself not to fall for this bad woman’s traps, but she couldn’t help the reaction on her face. She smiled reservedly and made a “please continue” gesture, indicating she would let Ritsuko speak.

Fine, she even has adaptive emotions. Can this still be called Rei Ayanami?

Ritsuko rubbed her forehead and looked at Shinji, who remained silent and focused on his meal. Seizing the moment when Rei’s vigilance faded, she decisively found a topic.

“I heard from Misato that Shinji-kun, for some reason, has a strong interest in Chinese cuisine?”

Rei’s expression shifted slightly.

‘Damn it, one flattery made me lose my guard, and she immediately found the topic Ikari-kun is most interested in. How terrifying is Ritsuko Akagi?’

But it was too late for regrets. Shinji ignored the bickering nearby and was very interested in this subject.

“Yes. I don’t have any memories related to Chinese cuisine, but deep in my subconscious, it feels familiar and beloved.” Shinji leaned in closer. Ritsuko was someone who could help him find the answer.

“Perhaps it is because you lost the relevant memories. When I was studying biology, I saw similar cases. Humans hide certain things in the deepest parts of their memories.” Ritsuko appeared thoughtful, leaning forward under Rei’s sharp gaze.

“It is possible. After all, I am currently missing the first and last segments of my memory. No matter what, I can’t recall them.” Shinji held up two fingers, sniffing the faint perfume on the blonde woman. “But I have hypothesized, and the possibility is very small.”

At the beginning, when he crossed over to 40K, he couldn’t have had the chance to experience such high-end food as Chinese cuisine. As for the end, that was the same old problem: the Emperor surely wouldn’t be so approachable as to treat him to stir-fried rice noodles.

“Then your symptoms are quite interesting.” Ritsuko crossed her legs, her toes encased in black silk brushing against Shinji’s thigh, which immediately made Misato next to them bristle.

“Ritsuko, you…”

But before she could finish, she shrank back under Shinji’s stern glare.

‘Adults are discussing important topics, don’t interrupt!’

‘Damn it, I shouldn’t have agreed to let this jerk in. She’s definitely up to no good.’

Misato could only pout as she watched. Shinji was interested now, and any interference would be asking for a scolding. Seeing them leaning so close, she felt jealous enough to grind her teeth.

‘Guard against fire, theft, and your best friend—this sentence is the truth.’

Ritsuko Akagi’s strength lay in the fact that she was highly seductive, yet no one could see through her. Her expression was solemn, her eyes deep in thought, and except for her lips being slightly parted, she looked very serious. It was exactly like how Rei and Asuka felt: they knew these two were leaning a bit too close, but couldn’t point out what was wrong.

But Misato knew this woman was up to no good. Ritsuko was barely squeezing into this circle because of her IQ, and she was maximizing that advantage to the limit.

“Ritsuko, what are your thoughts?” Shinji didn’t have so many suspicious thoughts; there was no Nurgle plague on Ritsuko, and the perfume actually smelled quite nice.

“I heard you talk about the dreams the Angel of Freedom had—the world looping over and over, each loop pointing to a single ending.”

“Are you implying that I am also caught in a ‘Soul Loop’? Impossible, the Emperor has always been watching me.” Shinji immediately shook his head. That was too ridiculous.

“No, no, not a ‘Soul Loop’ in that literal sense. Perhaps because of space jumping, your soul is no longer pure; it has added extra colors, which fits perfectly with what you just said about the Emperor’s attention.”

‘Oh? This idea is quite interesting.’

Shinji fell into deep thought. During his encounter with the Night Angel, he had peered into his true self. The golden sun he saw was irrefutable proof of the Emperor’s attention. This was supreme glory, so he had never worried about the negative universe’s will solving him through violence.

‘Mother’s power has limits, and Unit-01 is only so-so. But if the Emperor hacks the system in person, it’s a different story. I will definitely show those Chaos Gods what an Emperor’s Champion is.’

“Are you saying that this subconscious of mine is not me, but an infection from the Emperor?”

“Hmm, a wild guess. There is no evidence, and I don’t know if it’s blasphemous.” Ritsuko knew how to speak; she knew the Emperor was not someone to be speculated about lightly.

“It’s not blasphemy. The Emperor already has an epic journey; He once…” Shinji froze halfway through his sentence. He didn’t feel it usually, but in that moment, he suddenly felt he knew the Emperor very well—better than the fanatics of the Ecclesiarchy—and he couldn’t help but furrow his brow.

‘Yes, the matters of the Great Crusade, the Primarchs… some things did indeed come from secrets sealed by the Blood Ravens’ Librarians, but some were thoughts that just popped up.’ Ritsuko’s guess actually had a high probability of being true.

‘Is the Emperor doing more than just “watching”? Is this His own love for cuisine?’

His breathing became rapid. Shinji felt no fear of being possessed by a high-dimensional lifeform; instead, a sense of supreme glory surged within him. This was something carved into the bones of an Astartes.

The Emperor, or a part of the Emperor, had followed him back to his home. If this were in 40K, one couldn’t even imagine the frenzy it would cause.

‘This has already surpassed a ‘Living Saint.’ Everything I have used will be treated as holy relics; every place I have passed through will be a holy site. Countless Astartes will be green with envy, and no Greater Demon will dare look me in the eye.

But that’s not right. Even in the 2K era, the Emperor wouldn’t be this… human, would He?’

Shinji’s expression flickered. He desperately wanted this to be true, but the question remained unexplained. Could it be that besides the Emperor, there was something else mixed in?

‘Whatever. This Ritsuko Akagi has reminded me of how sacred and glorious I am.’

He puffed out his chest, his eyes extremely gentle. “Your hypothesis is very loyal. You should speculate more in the future. Tell me, what reward do you want?”

Ritsuko had achieved a great feat—in a sense, it surpassed all her research on the Angels because it pointed to the “essence.”

“I wouldn’t dare. If I must say…” Ritsuko placed her finger on her lip, looked at the three stunned people around her, and smiled slightly. “I would be happy if I could eat Shinji-kun’s cooking more often in the future.”

“No problem. The door is always open for you.”

It was a resolute answer. At this moment, Ritsuko Akagi’s status in his heart skyrocketed. Even though he had guessed that this woman had prepared for this moment for a long time and definitely hadn’t found the topic on the spot, loyalty was loyalty. This flattery was simply too comfortable. No Astartes could reject someone’s well-reasoned speculation—to say “The Emperor is with you.” To reject that would be the act of a damn traitor.

‘Wait, something is wrong.’

Asuka watched this harmonious scene, blinking hard. She pointed at the two who were talking happily, then looked at the gnashing-teeth Misato next to her. The latter nodded frantically.

Bang!

Asuka slammed her palms on the table, clearly enraged.

‘What the hell? I was guarding against everything, and yet I still got “home-stolen” by someone unexpected.’

“Asuka, do you have any objections?”

“I don’t agree! She… she…”

“Reserve your opinion. Ritsuko’s loyalty is immense. Being rude to her is an act of disloyalty.”

He was no “nice-guy” loser from a campus manga. In this house, Shinji possessed absolute authority. When his gaze carried that weight of oppression, even someone as jumpy as Asuka could only blush with frustration and dare not say a word.

Having been together for so long, she knew that when Shinji wore this expression, he had made a decision. Even if the negative universe’s will itself came, it couldn’t be reversed.

‘Damn it! Using this method to seduce the idiot Shinji, and even finding a backer in the process!’

“Looking forward to working with you, Asuka.” Ritsuko looked at her with a smile. She and Asuka weren’t actually close, and this mature, calm demeanor only made Asuka grind her teeth harder.

‘Disgraceful woman! I must correct you!’

What is a “high-tier player”? Ritsuko Akagi gave these children a vivid lesson. Usually, she had no private relations, just a simple professional one. She looked harmless, only loving to flatter Shinji. But once she made a move, it was an absolute kill.

Misato, Asuka, and Rei watched from the sidelines, completely helpless. Their “Tsundere,” “Yandere,” “Kuudere,” or “Failed Adult” labels were all trash. These people were too immature, getting in each other’s way day in and day out, not realizing Shinji-kun was the only King. As long as one drew closer to him, the rest didn’t matter.

‘To think people as strong as Shinji-kun would actually want to monopolize him; they have no common sense at all. As for the relationship with these three being ruined?’

Bang.

While washing dishes, Misato pinned her firmly against the wall. She glanced at the living room and lowered her voice.

“Ritsuko, what exactly are you trying to do? Declaring war on us?”

“First, you are already in a state of mutual cold war. No one knows how to take the first step, so you simply sabotage each other.” Ritsuko’s eyes were full of rationality; she would not be intimidated by this super-powered woman.

“Stop stalling! Tell me, when did you start having bad intentions? What are you trying to do?”

“I haven’t done anything.”

“Pah! I’m embarrassed for you, actually daring to use me…”

Seeing Misato about to go berserk, Ritsuko pressed her hand to her chest and smiled: “I’m doing you a favor.”

“I’m warning you, don’t use sophistry here. I will never fall for it.”

“Sophistry? Then tell me, if Asuka found out you also had feelings for Shinji-kun, what would happen then?”

‘Ah… this.’

Misato’s expression stiffened instantly. This was trouble. At first, she was complacent about Asuka asking her for “consultation,” but later she felt something was wrong. Sooner or later, she would have to show her hand. She couldn’t imagine what Asuka would do—would Unit-02 go berserk and stomp her into meat?

“Do you suddenly feel that you are too despicable, and you won’t be able to hold your head up in front of that child anymore?” Ritsuko said softly, like a devil’s whisper.

“Stop… stop pulling this useless stuff. The worst that happens is I apologize properly.”

“This isn’t something an apology can solve. Asuka—oh, wait, Unit-02—would definitely be furious. What will you do if it goes berserk?”

“It has nothing to do with you anyway. Don’t play the saint here; I know you too well.” Misato wore a “death before surrender” look, but suddenly asked curiously: “Wait, since you know that, how are you helping me?”

‘I didn’t even count to three, and you surrendered. You really haven’t improved at all since the old days.’

Ritsuko shook her head slightly and smiled: “I’m drawing her hate for you. Anyway, I’m not close to Asuka, so let her hate me. When the time comes, you can pin the blame on me.”

“I won’t do that. I’m not that pathetic. A person should take responsibility for their own actions.”

“Fine, you have some backbone. But that’s not the help I was talking about.”

“Then what could it be?”

Ritsuko glanced around and lowered her voice: “I have carefully analyzed your situation. The main problem is Shinji-kun—he still hasn’t broken free from the Astartes’ worldview. The secondary problem is the battle between those two. You’ve already defaulted in your heart that you’ve lost to them, so you’re just standing on the sidelines waiting for them to fight it out.”

Misato was unconvinced but couldn’t explain. She had talked too much about “crime” and started taking it seriously; she never dared to stick her neck out.

“This still has nothing to do with you.”

“It does. You are too clumsy; let me take the lead. For the sake of interests, we must let Rei win. She isn’t a normal human either; Hikari Horaki twisted her views on love, and all she seeks is the status of ‘Number One’.”

“You know even that???”

“I know everything. Sometimes studying human emotion is quite interesting.” Ritsuko adopted the rigorous attitude of a scientist and continued to whisper: “The two of us have no advantage, and we’ve never cared for the things little girls care about, right?”

Misato was very embarrassed but could only nod. She was no innocent girl; the world of adults always prioritized interests.

“So, Asuka cannot be allowed to make trouble. She must be the sacrifice. Once Rei succeeds, the stalemate will break on its own.”

“You… you really are a bad woman.”

“I just clearly understand what ‘face’ is versus ‘essence,’ and what an adult should get and what they should give up.” Ritsuko lowered her head and saw that the hand she had placed on her chest had moved away at some point. “How about it? I take the bad name, you get the benefits. If you oppose this, it only proves you are too immature.”

“I… I just feel Asuka is too pitiful. How can she be plotted against and persecuted every single day?”

“She’s only pitiful if she continues like this. Do you think Shinji-kun is doing some simple work? Please, no one knows if the world will be destroyed in the end, or if Shinji-kun can return. Time is limited; it won’t allow for you to pull back and forth.” Ritsuko’s eyes were filled with disdain, mixed with the oppression of a wise person looking at a patient. “I’m doing this for her own good. Asuka will thank me in the end. Of course, you must explain it for me—consider that my commission.”

“This… this… I’ll consider it. Don’t take unauthorized action before that, or I’ll blow your head off!” Misato was full of hesitation, but upon hearing Shinji call them over, she hurried off.

Her head was a mess. She knew Ritsuko was harboring evil intentions, yet she felt what she said was very logical. She needed to sort it out carefully.

Watching Misato walk away in deep thought, Ritsuko smiled and smoothed out the wrinkles on her shirt. She opened her briefcase, pulled out a thick stack of materials, and prepared to revise some information. The cover of the file clearly read in black letters on a white background:

“Shinji Ikari Complementary Project (Top Secret)”

“Hmm, since when did you all become interested in ‘serious business’?”

Inside the living room, Shinji looked at the group sitting around him. He had wanted to speak with Ritsuko Akagi privately, at most with Misato Katsuragi. He hadn’t expected Rei and Asuka to show up, breaking the previous tacit understanding.

In the past, these two didn’t care about plans and conspiracies—knowing too much made them unhappy—so they would tacitly avoid them.

“We… we suddenly got interested! Is that a problem?” Asuka’s eyes were locked on Ritsuko Akagi. She still couldn’t understand how this woman was also an opponent.

‘Disgraceful woman! I must correct you!’

‘Such intense hostility. Is this what they call jealousy?’

Shinji wasn’t surprised, but he still warned: “These matters have no entertainment value. I do not recommend you sit in.”

“Ikari-kun, as part of the core team, we also want to contribute our loyalty. You shouldn’t object.” Rei reminded him in a soft voice, immediately blocking the order to leave.

Correct. As long as the matter involved “loyalty,” Shinji would usually agree. He nodded gently: “Fine. You are only allowed to listen, no interrupting, and no asking questions.”

‘Phew. Good on you.’

Asuka shot a grateful look. After discovering Ritsuko Akagi had entered the game, her mindset underwent a slight change. Losing to Rei was embarrassing but barely acceptable; she absolutely could not lose to this bad woman who had popped out of nowhere.

‘This woman is too bad—she has a great figure, she’s smart, and she actually dares to plot against me. It’s time to unite against the common enemy.’

The complex interpersonal web had subtly changed, but Shinji’s mind was entirely on the next operation plan. He didn’t care about these details at all. He leaned forward and looked at Ritsuko Akagi, who was sandwiched between Misato and Rei, yet still smiling, unfazed by this prisoner-like treatment.

“Continuing from the last topic, I kept Kaworu Nagisa for the final moment, and we formed a tacit agreement…”

“What? You formed a tacit agreement with him?” Asuka blurted out, then covered her mouth under a deathly glare, frantically sending team voice chats to Rei.

‘What do we do? Not only has Dr. Akagi popped up, he… he also has a tacit agreement with an Angel, a man…’

‘If you don’t want to be hung up and beaten, you’d better stop talking.’

Rei glared at her. She was also full of worry. This situation was different—Dr. Akagi and the Angel of Freedom wouldn’t be scared off by her “Yandere” persona.

‘This won’t do. I must finish making the ‘thing’ quickly.

It’s fine. Kaworu isn’t a big problem. I can guarantee Ikari-kun has no issues with men.

But Angels shouldn’t have a gender, right? What if he discovers that and turns into a woman?’

“…”

Shinji glanced at the two of them and scratched his chin. He had finally managed to adjust his emotions. One reason he didn’t want these two to know too much was that what they were thinking about was completely different from what he was.

“After this trip, the ‘Law of Loyalty’ has taken a big step forward. I am certain that opening the ‘Door of Guf’ requires a violent energy collision. This was a discarded draft of SEELE’s. You can take a look.”

He pushed an old, draft manuscript over. When Ritsuko saw the name of the author, her eyes twitched. It was her mother, Naoko Akagi. After Gendo Ikari proposed the “Human Complementary Project,” Naoko had dumped this data into the newborn MAGI.

The “Dead Sea Scrolls” were just an outline; the authors could add different content to it, which was precisely why the “Human Complementary Project” had so many revisions.

“The ritual was modified. It was discarded because the ending didn’t meet SEELE’s wishes. Hmm, the calculations are quite rough, just a hypothesis. However, SEELE perfected the fifth version of the ritual on this basis.”

Ritsuko read quickly, tapping the manuscript with her finger. The calculation process was complex, but the result was simple.

“This modification uses the Third Impact as a fuse, detonating the souls of all mankind to explode the boundary between reality and the negative universe, forcibly opening the Door of Guf.”

“Yes, it contradicts SEELE’s ideas. Of course, it was discarded. Those old men never thought about self-destruction.” Shinji nodded. SEELE only wanted to rewrite the definition of humanity; there was no logic in blowing themselves up.

“But this idea has piqued my interest. I don’t like playing with those obscure, incomprehensible philosophies. I prefer the most direct and straightforward approach.

Violent forced entry.”