The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Unfaithfulness is met with immediate judgment. Atonement is an incredibly extravagant thing—look at the Kriegers, who paid in horrific casualties just to atone for their sins; Gendo Ikari wasn’t even close to that level of sacrifice.

Besides, what he was doing couldn’t even be called atonement; performing one’s duties was simply what he was supposed to do in the first place.

As the elevator ascended to the upper levels and the bunker doors swung open, the lake came into view. The trees along the shore had been cleared away, and the final line of defense was under construction. From a distance, Shinji spotted the man standing by the water’s edge.

Gendo Ikari was currently a ”Schrödinger’s Commander”—his everyday authority remained unaffected, and he was still responsible for the renovation projects, but when it came to major events, Shinji had the final say.

”Do you want to come along?”

”I’ll just wait here for you.”

Rei Ayanami realized she truly had no standing to follow, but to her surprise, Shinji grabbed her hand.

”No need for such a solemn expression. Like you said, Gendo has been doing a good job lately, which is why I’m giving him this chance to talk. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have the time to bother with him.”

This cold indifference was a stark contrast to what she had expected in her dreams. Rei blinked; reality really was the opposite of dreams. In her dreams, it was Shinji who was full of inner conflict and afraid to speak, but now, the roles were reversed with Gendo.

Why? Was it really as Dr. Akagi had said—because Shinji had far surpassed Commander Gendo?

Shinji didn’t find the situation as complex as Rei imagined. To him, Gendo was just a tool, calculated and cornered from every angle. Ignoring him would be fine too, but he had a promise to his mother to fulfill.

As footsteps approached, he saw Gendo, who was gazing at the lake, clench his fists. That’s right—this man, who had authored the ”Human Instrumentality Project,” was the seeker. Shinji held the answer Gendo desperately craved, but the father-son relationship was so frozen that Gendo couldn’t bring himself to ask.

”Why are you here?”

Gendo turned halfway, his tone still cold and harsh, his expression hostile.

”Don’t hide your panic behind an icy mask like a child,” Shinji said, seeing right through him, standing with his hands in his pockets. ”You’ve been buzzing around me like a fly lately just to get my attention and find an opportunity to talk, Commander. Your tactics aren’t exactly high-level.”

When an Astartes unleashes a sharp tongue, every word stabs right at the heart. Rei Ayanami, standing behind them, was stunned; only now did she realize how gentle Shinji’s usual silence was. If he really disliked Asuka, he could probably shatter her to pieces with just a few sentences.

Lies can’t hurt people; the truth is the sharper blade. Even someone with Gendo’s maximum psychological resilience couldn’t take it, and he slightly raised a fist.

Yet, the ”corrective punch” from a father never landed, because far more terrifying than a sharp tongue was Shinji’s combat ability. Even drawing a gun would be an act of self-humiliation.

”So you came here specifically to mock me?”

Gendo maintained his rationality—there was no help for it; he really couldn’t beat him.

”No, I’ve decided to respond to you. You should be happy.”

”Hmph, and I’m supposed to thank you?”

”Of course. Generally, when I deal with flies, I just slap them to death. I’m only maintaining this much patience because you still have some utility.”

Rei Ayanami could barely listen anymore—every word was stabbing into the Commander’s heart. She wondered how he could endure it... oh, wait, he couldn’t beat him. Never mind.

Gendo took a deep breath, trembling as he stuffed his hands back into his pockets and closed his eyes, clearly using silence to protest. He also felt a bit strange.

This kid had always ignored him—what had gotten into him to run over here specifically to mock him?

”By the way, I heard you formulated the ’Human Instrumentality Project’ to resurrect Mother?”

Gendo’s eye twitched. The most painful thing in the world is when you decide not to care anymore, only for someone else’s words to break your defenses. The frustration was indescribable.

Shinji knew everything about him, and with that one sentence, he had touched his deepest wish and secret. There was nowhere for Gendo to hide his old face.

”How did you know? Did Ritsuko say something?”

”She doesn’t know all the facts, but it’s not hard to reverse-engineer your layout. It’s truly a crazy plan, Commander.”

Gendo kept his mouth shut, but a hint of pride appeared on his face. He had the right to be proud—such a complex plan had transcended the realm of mortals, and he had actually found a potential path.

However, there was a certain irony to it. Judging by Gendo’s daily demeanor, others thought his plans must be incredibly grand; with that ”villain face,” one would expect him to want to destroy the world. Yet, his goal was so... ”small.”

”I have already seen Mother.”

”That’s impossible!”

Gendo reflexively retorted, his pupils contracting. That sentence was a critical hit, and the reasoning was simple: He had spent half his life researching, enduring, and plotting, sacrificing everything for this. If Shinji had already accomplished it, didn’t that make him look like a clown?

Shinji’s expression didn’t change. He couldn’t be bothered to explain, only saying coldly: ”Don’t engage in meaningless verbal disputes. You should have guessed that I succeeded.”

Gendo’s expression froze. He had realized something during the 12th Angel incident, and he had used his final remaining resources to dig for intel—something Shinji hadn’t stopped.

The ”Unit-01 Soul Research Report (Top Secret)” document sat in his desk drawer. The content was bizarre, and Gendo’s mood was even more complicated.

He hoped it was true—that Yui Ikari lived on in another form—but he also hoped it wasn’t. Because if it was, what had all his painstaking efforts been for?

His brows furrowed, his eyes hesitant. After struggling for a long time, he had to submit to reality.

”Yui... is she really alive in the form of that... ’Machine Soul’?”

”Stupid. You’ve always wanted to make Unit-01 go berserk. Aside from Mother, who else could control it?”

”But I always thought it was more like an instinct.”

”For mortals, it is indeed an instinct. Mother’s soul entered a higher dimension that humanity cannot reach. But that does not include me.”

Gendo took a deep breath. He knew clearly that Shinji was special—he didn’t seem like an Earthling at all. He had even detected rumors about things like ”psionics” and ”machine souls.”

”When did you become a superpowered being? Is that story real?”

”That has nothing to do with you. You only need to know that in this world, I am the only one who can communicate with Mother.”

Gendo fell silent, thinking that the world was truly strange. He had spent half a lifetime plotting, yet the answer had been right beside him. If he had known, why had he abandoned Shinji? Why had he insisted on artificially creating an AT Field between them?

He felt a deep sense of irony. His plan felt like a success, yet not a success at all, because he lacked psionics and still couldn’t see Yui. But the impulse buried deep in his heart for over a decade could no longer be suppressed.

”Yui... is she alright? Did she mention me?”

His tone was cautious, completely stripped of his usual air of oppression. If one listened carefully, there was even a note of obsequiousness. But Shinji said nothing, just stared at him. The agonizing suspense made Gendo frantic.

”Do you want me to repent? I have already cooperated fully with your plan. Or did you come here specifically to humiliate me?”

”I’m not that idle. As for repentance, you are not qualified to use your current attitude to make up for the sins of the past—otherwise, there would be no sinners left in this world.”

His tone was harsh. Shinji was someone who couldn’t be swayed by threats or pleas, and he certainly wouldn’t try to please this man like in Rei Ayanami’s dreams. Gendo’s face shifted through various expressions; he had absolutely no idea how to deal with this ”steel” teenager.

”Just say it—what do you want me to do?”

”I have no requests, because in your current state, you pose no threat, and you wouldn’t be able to help much with what I’m about to do anyway.”

”Then you’re just here to dangle this over me?”

”I already said, you’ve done a good job lately. Consider this a reward.”

The power dynamic between the two had completely inverted. Now it was Gendo’s turn to seek Shinji’s approval. It wasn’t quite like the dreams, where Shinji knew his father would be happy if he defeated an Angel. Gendo just stood there, bewildered—he didn’t know what else he could do.

”You still consider me an enemy?!”

”A sinner. If you were an enemy, you’d already be dead. I never hold back against enemies.”

Shinji corrected him, waving his hand lightly. ”Do your job. I’ll hand over some data regarding the Negative Universe; if you have time, you can study it.”

Beyond his duties as Commander, Gendo and Kozo Fuyutsuki were world-class scientists—the kind that could teach Ritsuko Akagi.

Gendo furrowed his brows, not knowing how to respond. He just felt that something was wrong.

Beyond picking up the pieces and cleaning up messes, he now had to accept tasks issued by this kid? But he couldn’t refuse—his own script no longer had any chance of being realized, and his ultimate desire was held in the hands of the boy before him.

”Fine. Does this count as atonement?”

”No. It just stops you from continuing to commit crimes.”

Shinji flatly rejected the olive branch, wagging his finger. ”A wrong is a wrong. A sin is a sin. Don’t try to patch things up. Just do what you need to do.”

”A pure transaction, then?”

Gendo’s expression dimmed.

”Mmh, a transaction. Let me give you a down payment first—Mother asked me to give you a message.”

Shinji completed Yui’s request as an afterthought, watching Gendo instantly focus.

”She said: ’You didn’t raise me right, and I’m going to settle the score with you.’”

’Settle the score with me?’

Gendo stood by the river, watching as Shinji and Rei walked away shoulder-to-shoulder. The corner of his mouth curled up, yet his face remained dejected. In the end, he had failed to fix their relationship, and Shinji wouldn’t give him the chance—but how to put it...

After all these years, to hear Yui speak to him again... it was exactly like her.

He knew all too well that even if he met her again by doing this, he would probably be given a good beating—but Gendo had long been prepared for that.

As long as he could see her once, he would pay any price. What did it matter if he was humiliated by that kid?

”Ikari, congratulations. We spent so much energy plotting, only to find the answer was right beside us.”

Kozo Fuyutsuki walked out from behind a tree. He had wanted to rush out and ask Shinji if Yui hadn’t mentioned him—her teacher?

”I envy him. He actually gets to fight side-by-side with Yui.”

Gendo didn’t respond, continuing to stare at their retreating backs. Rei’s silhouette, in particular, was seventy percent similar to hers, taking him back to his youth.

”Still, for a father to be so completely controlled by his son—doesn’t that make you look a bit incompetent? I recently learned a trendy word from the young people: an incompetent middle-aged man is abbreviated as ’MADAO’.”

MADAO?

Gendo whispered the word a few times. He didn’t know how he had become associated with incompetence, but in the end, he shook his head bitterly.

As long as he could see Yui one more time... MADAO is what he’d be.

(MADAO = marude dame na ossan = completely useless old man)

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