The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Asuka’s words carried a weight similar to a whisper from the Warp. Shinji didn’t sleep well the entire night; the question raised by the girl had a greater impact than the Human Instrumentality Project.

At one moment, he dreamed he was sitting inside a drop pod, surrounded by ”tincans” in dark red power armor; another beautiful day beginning with a boarding action. The next, he dreamed he was spacing out in a classroom, with no war and no slaughter, where his greatest dilemma was what to have for lunch.

Two diametrically opposed lives intertwined incessantly. By the time the sun rose, Shinji had his answer.

He decided to stop thinking about it.

Whether returning or staying, all was the Emperor’s guidance—this was the way most Astartes thought. When in doubt, follow the Emperor’s lead. As His Angel, completing his oaths and mission was enough. Thinking too much would only shake one’s loyalty; no wonder the Chapters locked away the Librarium’s archives. An Astartes who knows too much can easily turn renegade.

No wonder the Empire required absolute loyalty. Once a crack appeared, it brought endless questioning—much like his home planet, Cyrene, where a group of residents seeking fair trade and equality ended up facing an Exterminatus. Those Chaos warbands weren’t all descendants of the Traitor Legions; the reasons for their betrayal would forever remain buried deep within the Inquisition’s databases.

’Shinji, steady your faith.’

This place wasn’t like 40K. In the dark galaxy, without the Emperor’s protection, humanity would have long been extinct. The Empire might have this or that problem, but Chaos would only be worse.

”Did I do something bad?”

Asuka was a few meters away, hiding half her body behind Rei Ayanami, looking as if she was afraid of being hit by Shinji.

”Yes. I told you before, do not ask Shinji-kun troublesome questions. It causes a great deal of distress.”

”How was it troublesome? I just asked casually.” Asuka tossed her head. She had even more ”lethal” questions she hadn’t asked yet. Like, ”If that Empire and we go to war, which side do you save?”—the ultimate dilemma, akin to ”If your mother and I both fall into the water.”

”Regardless, you are not allowed to ask similar questions again. If you anger Shinji-kun and he puts a stop to our current lifestyle, what then?”

”What right does he have to interfere with my life!” Asuka retorted, though her bravado quickly withered when Rei glared at her.

’Tch. Fine, I won’t ask. No need to be so fierce.’

Regardless of whether Asuka’s ”German Win-theory” could win everything else, she was consistently suppressed by Rei at critical moments. As the group walked into the school, it was indeed very different from usual. Students were busy, stalls lined both sides of the sports field, classrooms were being transformed into haunted houses or themed restaurants, and the photography club members were clicking their shutters so fast they were practically throwing sparks.

’The atmosphere of a festival?’

Shinji watched his busy classmates, feeling a slight sense of nostalgia. The Chapter had festivals, too, but they weren’t this lively.

Usually, during a boarding action, they would simply exchange praises like ”For the Emperor!” or ”Salute the Great Father,” which only made them swing their chainswords with more vigor.

”This is the first time I’ve enjoyed a festival wholeheartedly without combat. It’s a very foreign feeling.”

”Shinji-kun, the festival isn’t until the day after tomorrow. What if an Angel attacks?”

”Pah, pah, pah! Can’t you think of something positive!”

The three of them bickered their way up to the fourth floor, where the students of Class 2-A were hard at work. Toji Suzuhara was standing by the door, gesturing wildly as he explained something to the Class Rep.

”Shinji-kun, you’re finally here. I feel like the café’s design has strayed a bit too far from the theme.” Hikari Horaki walked over like she was seeing a savior the moment she spotted Shinji.

”Is there a problem?”

”Uh, I think everything is a problem. Look, this is Toji’s design draft.”

She handed over a picture. The rendering was actually quite well done. Golden sunlight shone through arched floor-to-ceiling windows, landing on jet-black tables. On the tables were candles with skulls for bases. All the support pillars in the classroom were wrapped into square columns, and the walls bore slogans written in High Gothic: Knowledge is Power. Most striking of all were the emblems on the wall: the Imperial Eagle and the Blood-Crying Raven.

How solemn. How loyal.

Shinji closed his eyes and said flatly, ”Unique taste, solemn style. It inspires positive human emotions and offers hope amidst this heavy apocalypse. It perfectly meets your requirements.”

’Uh, it’s certainly unique and solemn. I thought it was a cathedral.’

Hikari didn’t know how to argue. She scratched her head. ”But we’re doing a Maid Café. Have you seen anime? It’s supposed to be ’moe’ and ’soft’.”

”But that contradicts your requirement for solemnity.”

”Uh, I just meant don’t make it too frivolous. Besides, where are the café elements?”

”I left tables, and I’ve prepared coffee beans.”

’Well, I can’t find a flaw in that.’

She looked to Asuka and Rei for help, but Asuka knew some things weren’t worth arguing over and didn’t want to waste her breath. ”Oh, it looks pretty unique. Our class will definitely have the best business. You know how young people are these days; a regular Maid Café sounds so unappealing.”

As for Rei, she was already discussing budget issues with Toji, saying things like, ”If the class funds aren’t enough, I will cover the rest.”

Fine. It seemed the opposition was overruled.

Hikari shrugged at a few other girls, indicating she was powerless. In truth, she didn’t care much; with three pilots in the class, 2-A could open a café in a restroom and it would still be overcrowded.

She looked back. Shinji had already entered the classroom and was giving orders to the girls.

”Do not serve customers like a servant. As fellow mortals and ’currency,’ there is no high or low rank between you.”

”Stand here, here, and here. No need to smile. Gaze at the newcomers with eyes of loyalty, embodying dignity and solemnity.”

”Afraid of being stared at by boys with lecherous eyes? Rest assured, in this Oratory—I mean, café—no one will harbor such sacrilegious thoughts.”

’Is Shinji-kun actually enjoying this?’

The Class Rep had not only witnessed the transformation of her troubled classmates but was also a facilitator. She hadn’t forgotten how terrifying Shinji was at the beginning—one look was enough to make his classmates flee.

Gradually, he had become a leader among the boys, and now he was actually spending energy on the School Festival, commanding girls whose names he probably didn’t even know.

B’efore, he and Rei were the same kind of people, looking down at us from another dimension.’ She looked at Rei Ayanami walking around carrying boxes and smiled gently.

’Turns out, these two are still the same.’

As the saying goes, the onlooker sees most clearly. All the changes in these non-Earthlings were caught in the Class Rep’s eyes. Shinji didn’t think this would cause any trouble. One second he was assigning tasks to the girls, and the next, when a bell rang, his entire demeanor turned stern instantly.

”Angel attack. Report to headquarters immediately.”

”Huh?”

The entire classroom seemed to hit the pause button. Everyone looked over, their expressions filled with confusion.

’Wait, we’re busy with the festival, what do you mean an Angel is attacking?’

It was normal—or rather, it was the irony of this world. One moment you’re laughing and enjoying the mundane, the next you’re thrust into the script of the apocalypse. The shift was so abrupt there was no time for mental preparation.

Wail—

The shrill air-raid siren sounded. This time, everyone reacted. As if triggered by a conditioned reflex, no matter what they were doing, they dropped everything and ran for the shelters.

”Huh? An Angel? Right now?” Asuka jumped out of the changing room, frantically zipping up her school uniform.

”Yes. Where is Rei?”

”I am here. What is happening?” Rei ran out as well, equally confused.

”It is an Angel attack. You wouldn’t go and ask the Angel why it chose this time, would you?”

Shinji could enter combat mode in a heartbeat. As he strode out of the building, he signaled them: ”The Security Department car is already waiting at the school gate. Hurry.”

”Coming, coming!”

Asuka and Rei hurried to keep up. Seeing classmates scrambling for shelter all over the corridors, it was indeed hard for them to adjust. One minute ago, the school was a sea of joy, with boys and girls looking forward to the festival; a minute later, it was a scene of chaos. Sometimes it really felt like a dream.

”How do you have zero reaction to this?” Asuka found his mindset hard to grasp. She had just been mocking his attitude toward the girls, yet in a single instant, he had transitioned from a high school setting to a mecha combat show.

”I am used to it.” Shinji took a breath. He truly found it hard to feel any sense of abruptness. A beautiful paradise world could turn into a Nurgle-infested cesspit in a heartbeat. But this world had a slight difference.

”Go for it, Shinji!”

Someone shouted. Shinji looked back and saw the crowd of people taking shelter raising their hands and cheering.

”Finish the Angel quickly! Don’t let it ruin the festival!”

”Yeah! We’re counting on you guys!”

Shinji gave a small nod, his expression unchanged as he walked toward the black sedan. He was long accustomed to carrying hope. Almost every time he landed on a planet about to fall, the moment he stepped out of the drop pod, he would see a crowd of Imperial Guardsmen looking at him with eyes full of relief.

’The Emperor’s Angels have descended. We are saved.’

But Asuka held her head high. Those fervent gazes cast from behind made the ground beneath her feel solid.

Yes, yes, yes—this was the feeling. This feeling of being the center of attention, of being needed by the world.

”Do you still feel it’s abrupt?” Shinji asked.

”No! I’m actually a bit grateful to the Angel now. It lets this Young Lady do the most meaningful thing!” Asuka said excitedly, wishing she could pilot Unit-02 and fight the Angel to the death right now.

Rei didn’t speak, but her bright eyes showed she was in a very good mood.

’See? Who says enjoying the mundane interferes with proper business?’

Shinji opened the car door and took a light breath. No matter how many years passed, no matter who the person was, this sense of glory was still intoxicating.

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