The Trash Returned from Warhammer

”Haha! I won!”

With a cheer, Asuka jumped straight up from the floor, her long hair whipping back and forth with the momentum of her body, punctuated by a few punches thrown into the air.

In the end, Shinji didn’t have any ”Sleeping Black Tea” to deploy. Asuka, unable to hold back any longer, had charged in. However, when she was met with Rei Ayanami’s icy stare, she felt a sudden pang of panic.

It wasn’t fear, exactly—just a guilty conscience for interrupting them. The atmosphere froze instantly, and it was only saved when Misato Katsuragi stepped in to intervene.

”Rei plays games? How interesting! Asuka, why don’t you try?”

Asuka immediately declared herself a master of the genre, and for once, she wasn’t lying; she was actually quite good.

’Childish. A battle through a screen, and yet it excites you so.’

Shinji watched the jumping, bouncing girl with a sense of disbelief, then looked at the screen, his eyes narrowing slightly.

”Steel Fist” 0-3, a crushing defeat. Asuka, having finally won a real game, was practically dancing. Someone who didn’t know better would think she had just crushed ten Angels.

But she was excited. Since coming to Japan, she had been crushed by this guy in every possible way. She couldn’t beat him, she couldn’t out-argue him, and every time she was left with nothing but impotent rage. Every time she thought about it, she felt like vomiting blood from frustration.

Now, she had finally won. Even if it was in a field he was completely unfamiliar with, a win was a win—and it was a landslide victory at that!

”Hehe, I told you I was an expert. Shin—ji—kun, do you want me to teach you how to play? It’s free of charge.”

She stood with her hands behind her back, swaying her body and deliberately drawing out her tone. Even when glared at by Shinji, she wasn’t the least bit afraid.

”Why would I bother learning something so meaningless?”

”Then are you saying coming to the hot springs is also meaningless?”

”Not at all. This is reasonable relaxation after a battle.”

”Well, playing video games is also relaxation, which means it’s meaningful. So, I still win.”

Asuka wagged her finger, finally learning how to use Shinji’s own logic to defeat him.

’Sigh. She really is just a child.’

She wasn’t even bothering to pretend anymore. Did she not feel embarrassed, trying so hard just to win once?

Misato covered her eyes, unable to bear it. Asuka used to be so poised—even if that poise was an act, it was better than this ”giving up on treatment” phase she was in now.

”I will defeat you.”

Before Misato could open her mouth to stop it, Rei had stepped forward, her face full of determination.

”Oh ho? You’re not going to be able to do it, either.”

Asuka cast a sidelong glance, placing her hands on her hips. ”Since you have a death wish, let’s try it. Shinji, move aside. Let her come meet her end.”

Shinji set down the controller and caught Misato’s eye, both of them sharing a sense of helplessness.

’Stupidity is contagious; even Rei Ayanami has fallen for it.’

He crawled back as the two girls began a heated battle with their controllers, shouting nonsense words like ”Take this!” ”Ultimate Technique!” and ”Fatal Blow!” Predictably, Rei was soon defeated.

”Hahahaha! I told you this was a dead end. You didn’t even take down a single bar of my health!”

”Again.”

”Heh, gutsy, aren’t you? Ha! You lost again.”

”Again.”

Rei’s stubborn nature was on full display. No matter how wild Asuka’s laughter became, Rei remained expressionless, simply pressing the ”Start” button over and over.

Gradually, Asuka’s laughter ceased. Her expression turned focused, and then she was drenched in sweat, her hair sticking to her forehead. She realized Rei was learning incredibly fast—was this girl a gaming genius?

After barely defeating Rei once more, Asuka wiped the sweat from her brow, her smile becoming forced.

”Alright, we’ve played twenty rounds. Aren’t you tired of it?”

”Not tired. Again.”

”Hey, hey, we shouldn’t neglect our duties. Let’s go to sleep; we have to go back to HQ tomorrow.”

”You were the one who said it was meaningful. Again.”

’Truly, she is asking for trouble.’

Shinji took a sip of cola, his expression becoming pleasant. Don’t let Rei’s dazed appearance fool you; people like her are the most terrifying. If she truly gets stubborn, even Unit-01 wouldn’t be able to pull her back.

”Are you happy seeing Rei stand up for you?” Misato whispered, her expression playful.

’Huh? Actually... I am.’

Shinji was suddenly bewildered. This childish, bickering behavior actually made him happy. He’d been sitting there for so long, and he hadn’t thought about the ”Dead Sea Scrolls” once.

”How is that possible? They’re just wasting their energy.”

”Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsundere-ism is contagious, too, huh? How did you end up like this?”

Misato felt heartbroken but wore a smile like a proud mother. She had the most authority to speak on Shinji’s changes.

She remembered the beginning: he was a cold, iron-blooded warrior who disdained any semblance of normal life, a ruthless character who would sacrifice anyone to complete a mission. Slowly, he had been assimilated.

Shinji felt a tingling on his scalp under her gaze and frowned.

”How many cans of beer have you had today? What kind of drunken nonsense are you spewing?”

Misato’s alcohol tolerance was Schrödinger’s level—sometimes she’d pass out after two, and other times she could drink all day like today.

”Oh, I drink more when I’m happy, and I’m the happiest I’ve been right now.”

Misato took another gulp, resting her chin on her hand to watch the sweating Asuka.

”Kaji had real business with you today, didn’t he?”

She couldn’t be fooled about what kind of man Kaji was; she had been on high alert since they reunited.

”Yes. He came to warn me about a few things. We talked a lot. Are you worried?”

”No, I trust your judgment. If anyone thinks you’re just a powerful EVA pilot—to use Asuka’s line—they are looking for their own death.”

Misato curled the corner of her mouth. She hadn’t participated in any top-secret discussions, but she trusted the boy beside her absolutely.

”Since Kaji was able to leave safely, it means he has no malicious intent toward you. But he’s a smart man—don’t let him pull the wool over your eyes.”

”And if he does have malicious intent?”

Misato’s eyes were blank for a second. She subconsciously touched her waist, then shook her head.

”I don’t know.”

’She doesn’t know if she should kill him?’

Shinji smiled. He liked this kind of concern. After returning home for so long, the only people he truly accepted were Misato, Asuka, Rei, and a few others.

”Don’t worry. No one can control an Astartes.”

”Is that because of that ’Emperor’s Protection’ again?”

”Yes. But mostly because the people who want to do that all have to die.”

Shinji didn’t need to hide his confidence. He mused for a moment, then added, ”You don’t need to worry about these things. Just focus on your job in the Operations Department.”

It was supposed to be dirty business among adults, and having a child tell her ”don’t worry about it” would make even Misato’s thick skin feel a bit ashamed. But she knew that Shinji’s commands were never wrong.

”Fine, fine. You really are a warm guy, just like Rei said.”

’Warm?

Oh, the fresh flesh sticking to my chainsword is indeed quite warm.’

Shinji gave a hum, ready to correct her, but was interrupted by a scream.

”I’m not playing anymore! Absolutely not! Are you sick? Playing the same game dozens of times—when are you going to stop?!”

”When I defeat you completely.”

Rei answered flatly.

’You!’

Asuka gripped her fists tightly, wrinkling her nose. She truly looked like... a twin-tailed loser.

No one knew who had started the war or what they were fighting for, but the struggle between these two had intensified, spreading into every aspect of their lives.

”I’m going to take a bath, do whatever you want.”

Asuka huffed and marched away, looking more like a child throwing a tantrum because she couldn’t win.

Shinji remained silent, ignoring Misato’s ”Go after her!” expression.

’There’s no helping it. Over there is the departing Asuka, and in front of me is Rei’s cold gaze. The situation is critical. An Astartes has the experience to suppress a planet, but I’m quite a novice at handling this.’

This wasn’t a matter of loyalty or corruption. Shinji, half-risen, drifted away in thought, realizing that the Emperor’s great wisdom was indeed beyond the understanding of ordinary people.

If Astartes weren’t modified to keep only their logic, or if a Chapter weren’t made of muscle-bound giants, the Chapter Chaplain would probably have lost his soul to the Golden Throne years ago.

”Alright, go to sleep. We’re returning to HQ tomorrow.”

Shinji simply let it go and skipped the question. He noticed Rei kneeling obediently, as if waiting for something.

”Sleep here. Didn’t you say that using my lap as a pillow allows you to enter a dream?”

’Ah, right.’

Shinji turned serious. Having just received news of the ”Dead Sea Scrolls,” he needed the Emperor’s guidance more than ever.

The last time he entered a dream, he completed a portion of his memories and realized why he was able to break out of the encirclement. His reason for returning was, in fact, more important than saving the world.

The Emperor’s mission transcended even his oaths.

But there was a small problem now.

He looked back and saw a cerulean eye peering through the door crack.

Stare—

”Do not disturb. This is a matter of mission-critical importance.”

Asuka was stunned. She had studied countless romance dramas; it was the first time she’d seen someone with such thick skin, coming up with such an outrageous excuse.

’Isn’t it just playing around with Rei and using a lap pillow? Why are you acting like you’re about to save the world?’

”Hey, what kind of new trick is this?”

She pushed the door open, hands on her hips. Seeing Shinji’s dead-serious expression, she immediately started to doubt herself.

’Is it... is it real? No, no, no! Why am I being infected? Am I turning into a non-Earthling just like him?’

But that look in his eyes made it impossible to cause trouble, yet she wasn’t willing to leave. She took a deep breath, marched over with a thump-thump-thump, sat down opposite Rei, and closed her eyes, gently patting her own lap.

”Come on! We’ll do half and half. Don’t get any ideas, I just want to see what kind of nonsense you’re pulling!”

’Heh, heh. You’re embarrassed now, aren’t you? You didn’t expect me to pull this move!’

Misato, not far away, finally covered her face. She was so ashamed she couldn’t stay a second longer and scurried away.

Shinji looked left and right—on one side was the expressionless Rei, and on the other was Asuka, her hands trembling slightly as if she had made a life-or-death decision. A wave of sleepiness hit him. His psychic powers became highly active, and a faint feeling emerged.

’Tonight, I will definitely enter the dream.’

A sense of mission surpassed all else. He didn’t bother to say anything more and lay down under Asuka’s shocked gaze.

’No—I told you to lie down, but you actually did it!’

Asuka was dumbfounded. She had wanted to put Shinji on the spot and ruin his plans, but this iron-blooded man had struck straight to the heart, causing her to set herself on fire.

Her short black hair brushed against her smooth thighs, and the itchiness caused her to shift her hips, pulling the hem of her yukata tight. Her brain raced, trying to find a way to cover this up.

”I—I’m just being merciful and letting you lie here for five minutes! Don’t you dare look around, or else—”

”Don’t waste your energy.”

Rei, sitting opposite, cut her off. Asuka followed her gaze downward, her mouth slowly falling open.

’I haven’t even salvaged my dignity yet, and you really went to sleep!’

It was true—the boy was already dreaming.

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