The Trash Returned from Warhammer

Screeech—

With the shrill scream of tires against pavement, a blue sports car hurtled along the winding mountain road. The engine roared, and the cliff beyond the guardrail was mere inches away.

”We’re going to hit! We’re going to hit!”

Misato Katsuragi was screaming. She watched as the youth beside her jerked the steering wheel, executing a perfect drift through the corner. Then, the accelerator was floored, and the sports car shot forward like an arrow.

This was indeed a ”drive,” but it was perhaps a bit too stimulating. Misato considered her own driving to be wild, but compared to this professional-racer level, there was a massive gap. Drifting and gutter-runs were second nature to him; she even suspected this guy could drive the car vertically up a rock face if he wanted to.

”Hold on tight.”

Shinji stared straight ahead, foot on the gas, fingers incessantly clicking the paddle shifters as he swung the tail out to clear a hairpin turn.

”Slow down, slow down! This is a new car! I haven’t even finished the loan!”

”Rest assured, I won’t scuff a single drop of your paint.”

Releasing the gas, slamming the brake, he spun the wheel to its limit with one hand while pulling the handbrake. Inertia lifted the two left wheels off the ground, the car slamming sideways toward the guardrail, yet it completed the turn with centimeters to spare. As the engine bellowed, it lunged forward again.

The thrill of speed kept the screams coming, but there was no fear in the sound—only the sense of catharsis that speed provides.

’This is good.’’

Shinji nodded with satisfaction. Unlike the titans of the Chapter who could fight for a century without sleep, the people of this world were fragile; negative emotions accumulated quickly, and they truly needed rest and relaxation. Since Misato Katsuragi wanted to vent, he would give her the opportunity.

Screeech—

Another sharp brake sound, and the sports car swung directly into a parking spot. The transition from high speed to a dead stop took only an instant. Misato was pinned into her seat by inertia, and it took her a long time to recover.

”Do you feel better now?”

Hearing the question, she turned her head to see the youth with his hands resting on the steering wheel, quietly watching her.

”Better, much better. After working overtime for half a month straight, a blast like that really clears the head.”

Misato stretched, her fully mature figure on display, then said with a smile: ”You’re quite savvy, aren’t you? How did you notice I was feeling disgruntled?”

”Because you didn’t hide your dissatisfaction at all. You were envious of how comfortable Rei and Asuka have it, weren’t you?”

’Huh? Aren’t you supposed to be a ’steel straight man’ who doesn’t understand a woman’s heart?’

Misato felt her face heat up and instinctively looked away.

”Is it that obvious? Lecture me if you want. It sounds pathetic for an adult to be jealous of a few kids.”

”It’s normal. We spend every day together; comparison naturally triggers negative emotions. I simply overestimated you slightly; I failed to notice that you are no different from Rei or the others.”

’So are you insulting me, or apologizing?’

Misato’s eye twitched slightly, her finger gently poking her cheek.

”Am I being too immature? I’m supposed to be the guardian, the reliable one who protects you all from the wind and rain.”

This was a total inversion of the natural order, but truth be told, no one wants to be ”mature” and shoulder the pain of reality. If there is already someone a hundred times more reliable providing protection, why force oneself to stand firm?

’Oh, so that’s why.’

Misato suddenly realized. The reason only children and ”giant infants” are allowed to be selfish is because they have no need to face pain directly. If Shinji were as naive as Asuka and the others, she would be forced to be mature and reliable to shoulder the responsibility.

”Ultimately, it’s all your fault. But I’d love to just be a young girl—well, like Asuka and the others. You won’t look down on me, will you?”

There was no disdain in Shinji’s eyes, nor did he think Misato was a ”disqualified human.” The reason was simple.

”No. Because in my eyes, there is no difference between you, Asuka, and Rei Ayanami. Get out of the car; it’s almost time.”

He wasn’t lying. In the eyes of a century-old Astartes, there really was no difference between twenty-eight and fourteen.

’Wait? No difference?’

Misato froze for a long time, looked down at her full chest, and immediately protested.

”How is there no difference!”

She was terrified of being seen as an old woman, yet in Shinji’s eyes, she and Asuka were both just children.

’Does he want to be my father that badly?’

She didn’t know how to describe this boy. For instance, after they got out of the car, Shinji already had everything prepared. A tablecloth was spread over the hood, several bento boxes were laid out, and beer cans were placed neatly to the side.

’Ugh, he really is like a father. Strict yet meticulous.’

Misato walked over and watched as Shinji opened a can of beer for her. He didn’t even mention that minors aren’t supposed to drink; it was as if this arrangement was the natural order of things.

”You like drinking this stuff? The alcohol content is average, but the taste is bitter.”

Shinji frowned, completely unable to understand the appeal of beer.

”You wouldn’t understand. Only adults can taste the sweetness hidden within the bitterness.”

Misato sat on the hood, finally scoring a point. Looking forward, her eyes widened slightly.

It was sunset. Tokyo-3 was draped in a golden veil. Several massive buildings were slowly rotating, their countless mirror surfaces reflecting the golden sunlight. These were NERV’s light-collection devices, reflecting sunlight underground to maintain the ecosystem of the forests and lakes. From the surface, it was magnificent.

”No matter how many times I see it, it’s spectacular.”

Misato didn’t blink. She kicked off her shoes and hugged her long, black-stockinged legs.

”Did you know? I’ve wanted to bring you here to see this for a long time.”

”Why didn’t you mention it?”

”Because it wasn’t necessary. I originally thought if you suffered some setback, I’d bring you here to see the scenery so you wouldn’t shut yourself away.”

After receiving the assignment from Gendo Ikari, Misato had spent a lot of time thinking about how to treat Shinji. She had prepared many plans, desperate to open the heart of the ”withdrawn youth.”

She only realized after meeting him that she had overthought it. As they spent more time together, she discovered a tragic reality:

’I originally wanted to be your mother, but you ended up becoming my father.’

”It indeed wasn’t necessary, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

Shinji imagined it: if he hadn’t served in the Chapter, he might have actually needed Misato Katsuragi to help adjust his mindset. He turned to look at her. She had taken off her jacket, wearing only her tight black dress that traced her perfect curves. He had to admit, Misato was actually very mature—not just physically, but her spirit was also incredibly firm.

’If I hadn’t served, she could have been the backbone. She seems boisterous, but her psychological fortitude is immense, and she possesses a streak of ruthlessness that surpasses the average person.’

”W-What are you looking at me for?”

Misato hugged her legs tighter.

”I suddenly realized that even without me, you would have taken good care of Asuka and the others.”

”Huh? Am I that reliable in your eyes?”

”Do not self-deprecate. You have the heart to break through all hardships for the sake of what is right.”

”Hahaha, am I really that amazing?”

Shinji looked at the beaming woman and raised his beer. He would never know that in the original timeline, it was indeed Misato Katsuragi who changed the fate of humanity. This affirmation from a ”stronger” individual made Misato very excited. She took a large gulp of beer, a faint flush appearing on her face.

”Truly, Shinji, I’m grateful to you. Sometimes people are forced to grow up, but if I could choose, I’d rather be a little girl forever.”

She hugged her legs, gazing at the magnificent city and the scars left behind by battle.

”During the Second Impact, I lost my father. Then, for several years, I couldn’t speak...”

Shinji listened quietly as Misato recounted her past. It was a history of pain; Misato was a classic example of someone who grew through suffering. She only understood her father at the final moment, suffered from elective mutism for years, and then used her hatred for the Angels to adjust her mindset, throwing herself entirely into NERV. One could say her life’s goal was revenge.

”Sorry. Initially, I wanted to use you as a tool for revenge. But after spending time together, I realized there was no need. Your hatred for the Angels is even greater than mine, and you possess the power to achieve that revenge. So, I felt a sense of relief, and the guilt faded.”

The empty beer cans piled up. Perhaps to make up for those silent years, Misato talked a lot. Shinji didn’t interrupt, listening intently the whole time.

”To be honest, I’m not as strong as you think. I’m just being pushed forward by the past. You’re so reliable that I’m becoming more and more like a ’salted fish.’ I even feel jealous of Rei and the others... but who doesn’t want to be a salted fish?”

”Escaping responsibility and pursuing ease are part of human nature. There is no shame in it.”

Shinji shook his head and said solemnly: ”That is why I have always asked only for cooperation. The most difficult enemies and the most troublesome matters will be resolved by me.”

”That’s why I say you’re too reliable. Haven’t you ever thought that doing this is exhausting? You’re only human.”

”I haven’t thought about it, because these things are like breathing to me. They are in my very marrow.”

Shinji answered without hesitation. An Astartes was fundamentally different from a mortal.

”So you really aren’t like an Earthling. Whatever, I’ve made my peace with it. Why should I be like Asuka and give myself a hard time?”

Misato didn’t have any tsundere or ”literary youth” labels; she was like someone who had suddenly gained a wealthy ’father’—she was too happy to care.

Emboldened by the alcohol, she leaned toward Shinji, resting her head on the boy’s shoulder. Since they had already spoken openly, she didn’t bother with shame anymore.

’Humanity disqualified?’ If you want to be disqualified, here’s your chance.

She merely rubbed her cheek against his powerful deltoid. It felt as solid as standing on firm ground, bringing an immense sense of security. Suddenly, her half-closed eyes widened.

”Wait, I just realized something. It turns out I wasn’t being pushed forward by hatred.”

”Then what are you pursuing?”

”Security. During the Second Impact, when the Giant of Light appeared, my father stuffed me into the escape pod. In the moment I understood him, I also knew there was no one left in the world to protect me.”

”It is natural. You discovered the truth of the world as a child; your soul was shocked, and the person who could protect you died at the hands of an Angel.”

Shinji spoke flatly, then asked: ”So, have you found it?”

”Mhm.”

Accompanied by a low murmur, Misato grabbed Shinji’s arm, holding it tightly.

”It’s you.”

She closed her eyes, leaning her entire weight against Shinji. As usual, the youth remained motionless, without the slightest hint of dodging or retreating.

”No problem. This is my honor.”

In this moment, she completely forgot her adult pride and the age gap.

She only remembered Ritsuko’s teasing remark about ”committing a crime sooner or later,” but she refused to let go. Like someone huddling by a warm stove in the dead of winter, amidst her complex emotions, there was only a sliver of guilt.

’I’m sorry, Asuka. I am doing something insatiable.’

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