The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 276: Chapter 276 - Welcome Home

Roxie walked a few steps ahead of Karen and Angela, keeping her eyes on the sidewalk because every time she slowed down, she could feel both of them looking at her.

They had been walking for several minutes since leaving school, and neither of them knew where Roxie was taking them. Roxie had only told them to come with her, then started walking before either could ask too many questions. She had spent the entire way trying to figure out how she was supposed to explain years of lies once they finally reached the house.

Angela eventually broke the silence behind her. ”Where are we?”

”Almost there.”

”That did not answer the question. And that is definitely a line from a thriller movie.”

Roxie almost smiled, but the tightness in her chest killed it too fast.

Karen had been quieter than Angela, which worried Roxie more. After another block, Karen finally spoke.

”Wait. Is this the way to your house?”

Roxie slowed for half a step before forcing herself forward again.

Angela caught it immediately. ”Oh my God. It is.”

”Congratulations. You solved it.”

”Roxie.” Angela looked around as they turned onto the next street. ”Why did we cut through the cemetery? Isn’t this leading to...”

She stopped herself.

Roxie knew what she had almost said.

The hood.

The part of town most Briarwick students only knew because their parents told them which streets to avoid.

Karen’s voice came from behind her. ”We’ve known you for years. How the fuck have we never been here?”

Roxie swallowed and kept walking.

There had always been an answer before. Her parents hated having people over. The house was being fixed. Somebody was visiting. Her family was leaving for another trip. Roxie had collected excuses for years until lying about her home had become almost automatic.

Today she had none left.

”You’ll see.”

Karen and Angela fell quiet again, and Roxie could almost feel every old lie walking behind her with them. Every fake vacation. Every imaginary family event. Every time one of them had suggested coming over and Roxie had invented a reason they could not.

By the time the bungalow came into view, her throat already hurt.

Roxie stopped at the beginning of the short walkway and looked at the house she had spent years keeping away from them. The bungalow had been her pride because it was the only thing in her life that truly felt like hers. But now, standing there with Karen and Angela behind her made her notice every flaw. The faded paint near the porch. The crack in one step.

Angela’s voice softened. ”Rox?”

Roxie made herself move.

She walked up the short path, climbed the porch and pulled the key from her bag. Her fingers were shaking badly enough that she missed the lock once before finally getting it in.

Karen came up behind her. ”This is really your house?”

Roxie stared at the door because turning around suddenly felt impossible. ”Yeah.”

The silence behind her made her eyes burn.

She turned the key, pushed the door open and stepped aside.

”Welcome to my humble abode.”

Roxie finally looked at them.

Angela’s expression changed immediately. Karen simply stared past her into the bungalow, and Roxie tried to smile even though the attempt fell apart before it properly formed.

”Come in.”

Roxie walked inside and dropped her school bag beside the couch. Standing still made her too aware of them, so her hands immediately found something to do. She picked up a sweatshirt hanging over one chair, folded it, unfolded it when she realized she had done it crooked and started again.

”Sorry. I should’ve cleaned more.”

Angela came inside behind her. ”Roxie, it’s clean.”

”I know. I just...”

Her voice shook enough that she stopped.

Karen quietly closed the door.

Roxie looked up at the sound and found Karen standing near the entrance, slowly taking in the living room, the little kitchen, the hallway leading toward Roxie’s bedroom and all the ordinary pieces of a life Roxie had spent years making sure neither of them ever saw.

Karen finally looked at her. ”This is where you live?”

Roxie gripped the sweatshirt tighter. ”Yeah.”

”All this time?”

”All this time.”

Karen’s eyes moved around the room again, and Roxie could almost see old memories lining themselves up behind them.

”So when you said you were away...”

Roxie knew exactly what she meant.

”There weren’t any vacations.”

Karen’s attention snapped back to her.

Roxie swallowed around the pressure already building in her throat. ”Bahamas wasn’t real. Most of the Christmas trips weren’t real. Spring break, summer, all the shit I told you about my family taking me places...” Her voice broke, and she wiped quickly beneath one eye before forcing herself to finish. ”I made it up.”

Angela’s eyes filled almost immediately.

Karen looked like she was trying to fit years of conversations around what Roxie had just told her. ”Why?”

Roxie finally set the sweatshirt down because pretending to fold it had become ridiculous.

”Because I was embarrassed.”

The tears started before she made it any farther.

Roxie wiped them away, but more came.

”When we first became friends, you both had families and big houses. You went places. You talked about what your parents bought or where you were going for Christmas, and I didn’t want you knowing I was usually sitting here alone.”

Karen’s lips parted.

Roxie kept going because if she stopped now, she might never start again.

”I thought if I made myself sound like you enough, eventually it wouldn’t matter. Then every lie made the next one harder to take back, and after a few years I didn’t know how to tell you any of it without admitting I’d been lying the whole fucking time.”

Roxie pressed a shaking hand against her mouth for a moment.

”I’m sorry.”

Angela started toward her.

Roxie shook her head quickly. ”Please. Just let me tell you first.”

Angela stopped, though tears were already running down her face.

Roxie looked between both of them. ”I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I kept you out. I know you have every right to be angry with me, and I know hearing all of this now makes it worse.”

Karen wiped beneath her own eyes. ”Roxie...”

”I was on scholarship.”

That silenced both of them.

Roxie gave a broken laugh because their faces confirmed another thing they had never known.

”I needed it to stay at Briarwick. We didn’t have money. Sometimes we barely had anything.” She looked toward the kitchen and remembered all the nights she had opened cabinets and counted meals instead of days. ”There were times I had no idea when my mom was coming back or whether she would leave enough money when she did.”

Angela started crying harder.

Roxie’s chest tightened at the sight, but she kept going.

”I worked too.”

Karen frowned through her tears. ”You worked?”

”At the Corner Grill.”

”How long?”

”A while.”

Karen covered her mouth for a moment before lowering her hand again. ”We never knew.”

”I know.”

Roxie’s voice cracked.

”I’m sorry.”

She wiped her cheeks and took another shaky breath. ”When I told you I was busy, sometimes I had a shift. Sometimes, I don’t have cash on me. When I said I had family stuff. I knew if I told you I had a job, you’d ask why, and I was scared I’d have to explain everything else.”

Angela whispered her name.

Roxie looked at her for barely a second before forcing out the next confession.

”I babysat too.”

Karen looked stunned all over again.

Roxie pressed her palms together because they would not stop shaking. ”The man I babysat for turned out to be my father.”

Angela’s hands flew over her mouth.

Karen stared at Roxie long enough that the silence became painful.

”I didn’t know when I started babysitting,” Roxie rushed to explain. ”I found out recently.”

Karen moved farther into the room and stopped near the coffee table, wiping at her face while she tried to absorb another piece of Roxie’s life.

”When did you find out?”

”Recently.”

”And you didn’t tell us.”

There was barely any anger in Karen’s voice. The hurt was worse.

Roxie looked down. ”I know.”

”Why?”

Roxie’s tears came harder.

”I was scared.”

Karen’s face crumpled. ”Of us?”

Roxie hated herself for the answer before she even said it.

”Yes.”

Karen looked devastated.

”I’m sorry.” Roxie covered part of her face. ”I know how fucking awful that sounds.”

Karen wiped at her cheeks. ”You thought we were going to what? Laugh at you?”

Roxie lowered her hand.

”I thought you’d leave.”

Karen stared at her.

Roxie could barely breathe properly now, but she needed to say it before they learned the worst part.

”I thought once you knew what I actually was, that would be it. You’d realize I wasn’t who you thought I was anymore.”

Angela immediately shook her head.

Roxie kept crying.

”You knew the girl at school. The cheerleader. The girl who talked shit and acted like she didn’t care about anything. You didn’t know I was coming home here. You didn’t know I was poor or working or making up half the shit I told you about my family.” Roxie wiped helplessly at her face. ”Then every year I waited made it worse because eventually I wasn’t only hiding my life from you. I was lying to my best friends.”

Karen moved closer, stopping only a few feet away.

”You really thought any of that would make us stop wanting you around?”

Roxie cried harder because hearing Karen put it that plainly made the fear sound pathetic after carrying it for years.

”Yes.”