My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1980: Chapter 1774: Experience

I long to be with you day and night, yet now we are strangers at the world’s ends.

Ran Zhihan keeps murmuring beside Zhang Yichen’s ear. She hopes she can summon back the man she loves most. She doesn’t want the man she has loved for so many years to sleep forever like this. She can’t bear to see such a thing happen to herself. If she truly has to face such an ordeal, she would rather be the one lying in the hospital bed, not Zhang Yichen. For Ran Zhihan, nothing is more important than Zhang Yichen!

It’s uncertain whether Zhang Yichen has heard what Ran Zhihan said to him. In his dream, there appears a scene of Ran Zhihan talking to him.

In the dream...

”Yichen, why aren’t you willing to wake up? Is it because I’ve hurt you too deeply? Watching you lying there obliviously, do you know how much pain my heart is in? If you truly love me, why won’t you wake up and take a look at me? If you truly love me, can you bear to see me? Because of you crying in grief?” Dream Ran Zhihan said to Zhang Yichen.

”Zhihan, listen to my explanation. It’s not like that. I also wish to open my eyes to see you. I want to open my eyes to see my most beloved woman, whether she is by my side taking care of me. But my eyes feel so heavy, like I cannot open them no matter what. Don’t blame me; it’s not that I don’t want to see you, but I am powerless, my dear!”

”Don’t tell me things like you’re powerless. If you truly wish to open your eyes and see me, you surely have a way to open your eyes. I have said so much heartfelt words at your bedside, and you didn’t open your eyes to look at me even once. That can only mean your heart doesn’t love me. Since you don’t love me, why do you insist on keeping me by your side? Do you not know how much I love you? My love for you penetrates my bones. For you, I could even give up my life. And you? You aren’t willing to open your eyes to see me, yet dare to say you love me? Is that how you express your love for me? If you truly love me, you would immediately open your eyes to see me. See if I’m the one who’s been accompanying you all along, see if I’m the woman who used to hurt you still by your side...”

”I just said, it’s not that I don’t want to open my eyes to see you, but my eyes really feel too heavy to open. Whenever I exert any effort, it feels like there’s a mountain pressing down on my eyelids. No matter how hard I try, I can’t open my eyes. I also want to open them to see you, to reach out and touch you. Don’t you understand? Your position in my heart is so important that I, too, could give up my life for you. But why do you treat me this way? I begged you to stay by my side and pleaded for you to share a lifetime with me. Yet you, you cruelly decided to leave me and abandon me alone. If not for you, how would I end up lying in this hospital bed? Seeing me this way, shouldn’t you be happy? Because looking at me now, you can leave freely, and no one will force you to stay by my side. No one will force you to do anything. Isn’t this something worth celebrating for you? Why did you return to my side again? Are you here to hurt me once more?”

”Don’t say that. I never intended to hurt you. In my heart, you are more important than anyone else. That day, when you desperately pleaded for me to stay by your side, I heartlessly refused you not for other reasons but because I feared the upper-class society would criticize you. I didn’t want my status as a commoner’s daughter to cast a shadow on your future. Even though I’ve returned after studying abroad, I still can’t enter high society. I don’t even understand what kind of life high society experiences. But during those years I studied in the United States, I discovered that many children from the upper classes and from families like ours are incompatible. Every aspect appears to have some disparity, and these disparities always lead to many discussions about us. You should understand clearly, it’s not that I don’t love you; it’s merely that I don’t know how to continue this partnership with you. Every moment with you brings utmost joy, a truly heartfelt smile, the kind that’s rarely shown. When with you, I find myself smiling nearly every day. My heart is always bright and sunny because I have a constant, loving connection with you. I always feel that you are my protective Prince, the one who secures my world. Even a single glance from you fills my heart with excitement. But many times, I’m forced to make cruel decisions. If I don’t act as such, the harm won’t just be to you and me but to many others. Perhaps, the decision I made left you unable to accept, but it must be admitted, my heart ached so much when I made it, as you know? I wished to embrace you and cry, asking you to plead with me: don’t leave. But I stubbornly suppressed my reluctance and resolved to push you away. I know you hold resentment against me, but I hope you can consider my perspective. If you were in my shoes, you would act the same. You, like me, are kind-hearted, unwilling to let your beloved suffer any harm. I don’t know how to explain these numerous matters to you, but I ask for some trust, believe that my love for you is sincere and unwavering.”

”Is everything you said true? Do you always love me in your heart? But I’m afraid you might fall for someone else one day and choose to break up with me. Such heartbreak would be overwhelming, a pain that reaches the core. Sometimes I’m just like this; I won’t tolerate any dust in my eyes. I never want my beloved to betray me; do you understand? I only want my beloved to stay by my side, that’s enough. I don’t wish for him to make great sacrifices or contributions for me. I merely want him to always consider me his most cherished, always accompany me. My requirements aren’t extravagant, nor are they greedy. My desires are simple; to walk hand in hand with my love into old age is enough. I don’t care if in this life there will be a son or daughter; it doesn’t matter to me. The essential is for my beloved woman to accompany me until the end, always visible, never harshly speaking for any reason. Rest assured, I will wake up, but now isn’t the time. When it is time, I will certainly awaken. I hope the first person I see when I open my eyes is you, not others. If my first sight upon wakening is you, I hope you will stay by my side forever, and never again mention separation...”

Recalling that dream, I never understood why it all turned into reality!