My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1969: Chapter 1763: Grievances and Resentment

If from the beginning we had known there was no fate between us, then why did I painfully beg you to be with me?

”Mom, why are you still so stubborn now? You know what kind of person Dad is. With his bull-like temper, the decisions he makes can hardly be changed by a few words from others. Once he’s decided to be with you, he will do whatever it takes to bring you back to his side. If you try to forcibly separate from him, it’ll only make things worse. You know his personality. You’ve shared a bed with him for over a decade; you must know what kind of person he is, what kind of temper he has. You’ve been with him for so many years!” Zhang Yichen said to Xia Jing.

When Xia Jing heard her son saying these words, she felt her son was unwilling to help her persuade her ex-husband. She said to her son, ”It’s not that Mom doesn’t understand, it’s that none of you see him for who he truly is. Every decision he makes revolves around himself. All benefits are for himself. Do you know? I hate his numb and indifferent demeanor. Watching him, I’m terrified inside. I don’t ask for much. I just want my husband to care for me more, to spend more time with me. But ever since you were born, he only has a few cold words for me every day. No matter the issue, he never wants to say more than necessary to me. In his eyes, speaking more than necessary to me is a disgraceful act. I really don’t understand, if he sees me as a disgrace within his heart, then why insist on being with me in the first place? It harms him and it harms me, preventing both of us from ever being truly happy together. Is this his so-called love? Is his love really so selfish? How many people can truly endure love like this?”

”No matter what he does or decides, it’s always for you, for our family. He’s definitely been at fault many times, but is his behavior really without reason? Is it really unforgivable? Are his desires truly so unattainable? I believe you understand more clearly than I do, even by tenfold, hundredfold, thousandfold. You should know why he became who he is today, and what does he really want? All he desires is for his wife to be by his side, to accompany him every moment, to jointly create a future belonging to both of you, to walk through life side by side in the years to come. Yet at the crucial moment, you abandoned him,” Zhang Yichen shouted loudly.

”Did I abandon him? Wasn’t it he who pushed me away with cruelty? Every heartless word he said to me back then is etched deeply in my memory. I can’t ever forget those words because they deeply hurt me. I never imagined the man I loved most would say such ruthless things to me. Those words are something I’ll never forget, constantly reminding me of how I was abandoned, disregarded, and pushed away by the man I loved most!”

”Because of this one thing, must you reach such an irreparable state? Have you never regretted your decisions towards each other? Do you really think acting this way is worth it? It might not matter to you, but what about others? Don’t those who care about you feel sad? Why do you always center on yourselves, stubbornly refusing to think about others’ feelings? In your eyes, are your feelings the only thing that matters? Are those who care about you irrelevant? Since you left my dad, I’ve watched him, the one who loves me most dearly, become lost and absent-minded every day. He’s often in a daze, even when dealing with extremely dangerous situations. His mind is always on you. Can’t you do the same? Is my father really no longer in your heart? Won’t your actions cause you internal pain? Has your heart really turned to stone? I don’t believe so. You’re my mom. I believe mother and child are connected at heart. You must know what kind of person I am. And I know what kind of person you are; you’re sharp-tongued but soft-hearted. No matter the decision you make, it’s not from your true heart. Many things, you have reasons you cannot avoid. But now that my dad has taken responsibility for his mistakes, why do you need to end up like this? Couldn’t you reconcile and start over, beginning a happy time that’s yours alone? Must you cause such upheaval and conflict to be satisfied? Seeing those who care about you stay up all night worrying because of your issues, are you really content inside? Do you really dismiss those who care about you so lightly? I don’t believe this is my mom. I just want to know what kind of person my mom really is. Is that so difficult? I just want my mom and dad to be together harmoniously, to be with me as my parents, making up for the love deficiency over the years. Is that really impossible? Why do you keep giving me hope and then despair? You said you would stay together and make up for the love lost over the years, but did you really do it? You hurt me over and over again, is this your love for me? They say ’father’s love is as strong as a mountain, mother’s love as deep as the sea,’ but is your love for me really this way? You use your love for me as an excuse to hurt me repeatedly. I accept it all, because you are my parents, and I have no choice. Since fate destined me to be your son, I can’t change this. I’ve chosen to accept it. But you, is this really how you treat me? What more do you want? Must I end up estranged from both of you for you to be satisfied?”

If at the beginning your heart was never with me, why did you forcibly agree to be with me? In doing so, you’ve not only harmed yourself but brought suffering to me.