My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1096: Chapter 947: The Truth Spoken Back Then

”Zhang Ni, actually you should clearly understand why we’ve come this far. I remember every sincere word you said to me, and I will never forget them in this lifetime. Only a true desire can make those words etched in my memory. Perhaps you never imagined it would end this way. I chose this path, and different paths lead to different outcomes. I’ve made too many mistakes, and I don’t want to regret like I did before, to continue living.”

”You remember every word I said, just as I remember every word I said to you with sincerity back then. You said each word to me clearly, yet I never chose to give up like this, because I believe in actions and intentions. It was merely a sincere thought. I have no reason, no way to become like my family. I don’t want to see things this way. I should learn to let each family member follow my steps. Perhaps that’s the real life!”

”Grandpa and Grandma, actually I now understand quite well why my parents hate you so much, and I understand why you made Grandpa so heartbroken. Sometimes I see Grandpa hiding alone and shedding tears quietly. It feels very disappointing to me. Watching him cry again and again while I just stand silently, unable to offer any help, I truly don’t want to witness such things. I yearn so much for heaven to let him live happily. When he was hospitalized, I felt so desperate during that time, thinking that I might never receive his love again.”

”Perhaps you think I’m greedy, already having my parents’ love. I’m much happier than my biological father, who grew up never receiving love from his parents, whereas my parents have been there for me since birth, unwavering. I should choose contentment. People should be content to be often happy, but I can’t manage it because other kids have grandparents while I don’t. There’s a sense of comparison, and when looking into another’s heart, they would find they don’t have as much.”

”Every decision I make affects whether my parents will live happily. All I want is for my family to be happy and joyous. I can disregard everything. I can give up everything. I can live a lifetime under rigorous training, but I cannot make my parents unhappy.”

”Child, decisions we’ve made may have deeply hurt you, but I hope you can forgive me. I know I was wrong. In all these years of absence, I’ve never lived a happy life, filled with pain and guilt every day. I’ve become numb over the years, unaware of what kind of life I want. But upon meeting you, seeing you happily playing, I finally know what I’ve lost.”

”You are my grandson, the next heir of the Zhang Family. No matter what, we all hope you can be happy and joyful. Life with you is the happiest and most joyful, and without you, do you think your parents have any reason to live? Their only desire is for their child to grow up safely and for their family to happily stay by their side. No matter what harm the final outcome may bring each other, no matter the profound mental anguish, as long as each belives in their heart, as long as they can ultimately come together, then what problem is there.”

”In your eyes, you think a mistake can be easily forgiven by asking others. But why should you have the right to let others forgive you unconditionally? Why must others pay for the mistakes you made? Why must others bear the consequences of your errors? You commit mistakes but don’t think to take responsibility, only considering how to repeatedly evade blame. Is this truly the right thing? You never considered how painful it was for us. You only thought of enjoying yourself, wandering lands happily. Why must you be so selfish?”

”The selfish and self-centered life is exhausting. I can’t be as selfish and self-centered as you, even able to abandon my own child. I know these years maybe you’ve had unavoidable difficulties, but do you know? Although my dad doesn’t say it, he’s deeply anguished, tortured, and guilty, just like me. You chose not to care for me, leaving me to wonder if my grandparents dislike me for not being cute enough or obedient enough. But in my dad’s heart, he’d wonder why his parents chose to leave, why they weren’t willing to spend more time with him. Is it because he wasn’t cute enough, or because, in their hearts, he wasn’t worth their effort to care for?

”Perhaps you never thought my dad would have such thoughts, but truthfully, it shocked me when I realized he did.”

”My dad seems cheerful and happy, but no one knows his inner torment. All his pain is buried deep within, never shown to anyone.”

”Many times, many things can be solved with more understanding, care, and greetings. That way, no problem would exist. But between you all, there’s never any communication, just like me. I’ve been abandoned for so long, knowing that deep down your hearts contain traces of me, but not knowing how to express it. I’ve chosen my way to trust you, yet you don’t know how much pain and disappointment my parents feel inside. The most important is my great-grandmother. She’s devoted too much for the happiness of our family, still worrying in hospital for us, but you?”

”You never stayed by our side, not knowing the way or language to communicate with us. Perhaps we have a generation gap, but do you know? Everyone wishes their parents will stay with them. Parents hope their sons, daughters-in-law, daughters, and sons-in-law can be filial by their side, just a simple company, even doing nothing. Having people nearby is enough. But you’ve forgone all the most crucial care. You coldly abandoned it all. In your heart, nothing was worth your special attention. You only wanted happiness in your eyes, freedom in your eyes. Do you know? All that won’t return the eternal love from relatives, love from those who return to find their family!”

”When even your friends become disappointed in you, then maybe you’ll realize everything you’ve done was all wrong, questioning why you selfishly left, ignoring your family’s happiness.”

”Remember? These were the words you told me back in the day, during that moment when we had everything. Yet we continued to quarrel and clash. Who could have imagined we’d reach this day?”