I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

An Lin and his dad strolled around Chongqing for a day, going from Gele Mountain to Hongyadong, and finally going to the Liberation Monument to gaze at beauties.

The father and son had a lot they wanted to talk about, and they talked tirelessly as they strolled about.

Because his father was about to set foot into the cultivation world, An Lin talked more about the general nature of the cultivation world, as well as about the interesting things that happened there.

However, his dad’s focus lay elsewhere.

In this one day, he had encouraged An Lin to chase after Xu Xiaolan eight times…

When his dad was watching TV, the girl standing next to An Lin had already left him a very good impression.

Moreover, in these two days, he learned from An Lin that Xu Xiaolan had helped him out quite a bit…

Where else can one find such a considerate and perfect girl? It’ll be best if she becomes my daughter-in-law!

To this, An Lin could only pretend to be deaf and dumb.

The journey of cultivation was a long one; who urged one to marry before twenty-years-old?

…

The next day, Huang Shanshan personally came to Chongqing.

An Lin retrieved from his storage ring some elixirs which his dad could use, and he handed these to her.

In addition, he gave his dad two thousand spirit stones to spend.

He didn’t care whether or not his dad needed that much. At any rate, he could spend it freely however he liked.

He couldn’t guarantee that he would be able to descend into the mortal world a second time next year, thus, he directly paid off three years of guidance fees, giving Huang Shanshan a total of three thousand six hundred spirit stones.

Huang Shanshan was once again in awe at An Lin’s wealth.

Her hands were trembling as she put the pile of spirit stones into her storage ring.

Never would she have imagined that there would be a day when her storage ring was stuffed full of spirit stones.

Although this was only an ordinary storage ring with a space of ten feet in radius, it was still a very shocking sight.

Seeing that Huang Shanshan had a storage ring, An Lin was slightly surprised.

In the mortal world, spatial magic treasures such as storage rings were extremely luxurious items.

Even a storage ring with a space of just ten feet in radius was extremely rare.

This could be seen from the fact that none of the four Demon Kings had owned storage rings.

The fact that Huang Shanshan had a personal storage ring meant that she could already be regarded as an extremely wealthy cultivator in the mortal world.

An Lin reluctantly parted with his father.

Watching his father’s disappearing figure, a certain conviction in his mind became even stronger.

“Dad, next time I descend into the mortal world, I’ll definitely bring you better spirit pills and elixirs. I’ll let you eat them like lollies!”

For some reason, he felt a lot better after saying these proud words.

When your parents are alive, your roots still exist and you still have a home to return to; when your parents are gone, your spiritual home disappears and all that is left is the journey toward death.

An Lin didn’t want to become someone without a family.

On his dao-seeking journey, he wanted to be accompanied by those dear to him, as that would make it a very blessed experience.

And if he wanted his dad to keep walking down this path of cultivation, he had to pull his socks up and make a great effort to become stronger!

…

An Lin took out his phone and dialed Xuanyuan Cheng’s number.

A warm and gentle voice traveled into his ears. “Hi, An Lin, what’s up?”

“Big Brother Cheng, aren’t you researching spell formations? Mind if I join?”

“Aha, I’m on a submarine right now, sorry. The Hidden Dragon Submarine is in an ocean trench in the Pacific right now. This expedition is going to last for two days, so I can’t take you along at the moment.”

An Lin: “…”

An Lin hung up and started to dial Xu Xiaolan’s number.

Amidst a bunch of static, Xu Xiaolan’s voice could barely be heard. “Hey, An Lin! What’s up?”

“Xiaolan, what are you up to? Let’s go spar.”

“Aha, I’m busy. Guess where I am right now!”

An Lin: “… On Earth.”

“Only half correct! I’m in the sky above Earth. Helicopters are so much fun! Ahahaha…”

An Lin: “…”

What the sh*t?! How was he only half correct then?

No wonder he heard so much static and noise through the phone. It turned out that she was flying a bloody helicopter!

An Lin was a bit disappointed as he hung up. He sighed deeply.

Well, aren’t they capable? One is flying high up in the sky, and the other is submerged deep down in the ocean. Only I’m drowned in an ocean of people…

An Lin felt that it would be very troublesome to rank up to the Spirit Nurturing Stage by forming a spirit root himself. It would be far easier to ingest three beast cores.

As such, normal cultivation already didn’t appeal to him.

Right now, he only wanted to find someone to spar against so that he could perfect his battle techniques.

Who could he ask?

An Lin opened up WeChat and entered the ‘all cultivators of the world unite together to protect earth’ groupchat, looking to see if there were any cultivators who wanted to spar.

However, upon opening up the groupchat, he found that there was a huge uproar. They were all discussing a major event.

Daoist Wooden Ox: “Shocking! Taibai Sword Sect was just massacred by the demon tribe!”

Enlightened Lazurite: “… Are you joking? Taibai Sword Sect is one of the top ten cultivation sects here! Although they don’t have cultivators of the Soul Formation Stage, they’re still very powerful, especially their sect’s defensive spell formation. Even if the Demon Emperor went, he wouldn’t be able to penetrate such defenses. How could they have been massacred?”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “It’s true! My sect also received news of this just then!”

The Savior: “Latest update. The Demon Emperor allied with two Blood Gods and they broke through Taibai Sword Sect’s defensive spell formation. The sect leader, Sword Immortal Bai Ling, is already dead, and less than one-tenth of the sect disciples are still alive.”

Dreamy Voice Fairy: “As expected, this is related to the Demon Emperor’s Flesh and Blood Spirit Tablet plan. I can’t believe that they’re acting so wantonly in the pursuit of their aims. Do they really think that our nation is weak?!”

Cloud Exploring Daoist: “The sect leaders of the four largest sects—Wudang, Kunlun, Longhu, and Shangqing—have already started a video conference. They’re discussing how to target the Demon Emperor. This time, they’ll definitely exterminate them once and for all!”

An Lin grimaced when he read this.

Video conference?

Visualizing this, he felt that this image was somehow off.

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “I’m still a bit worried about Green River Sword Immortal.”

Seeing this, An Lin suddenly came to a realization. This groupchat’s Green River Sword Immortal was none other than the sect leader candidate for Taibai Sword Sect.

If Taibai Sword Sect was massacred, then didn’t that mean he was also in danger?!

Golden Jade: “@Green River Sword Immortal, are you okay?”

Afterward, the members of the groupchat all sent @Green River Sword Immortal in succession.

However, there wasn’t any reply from Green River Sword Immortal.

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “I called him just then and he didn’t pick up either…”

…

Buddhist Abbot Haiyin: “Amitabha! The sentient beings of that land are free from all kinds of suffering, yet enjoy variegated pleasures. Benefactor Green River has just gone to the pure land earlier, my most sincere condolences.”

Right after Buddhist Abbot Haiyin sent this, a feeling of grief started to permeate through the chat.

Tears started trickling down the cheeks of countless individuals who had great relationships with Green River Sword Immortal.

Tian Lingling: “Rest in peace, Green River Sword Immortal (candle emoji).”

Calm Celestial Maiden: “Rest in peace, Green River Sword Immortal (candle emoji).”

Enlightened Lazurite: “Rest in peace, Green River Sword Immortal (candle emoji).”

The cultivators in the chat all lined up to send their condolences.

A feeling of grief also welled up in An Lin’s heart as he recalled the confident demeanor of Green River Sword Immortal, as well as his imposing figure when he slaughtered the Demon King. Thereupon, he also sent a message in the groupchat.

Fake Daoist Priest Little An: “Rest in peace, Green River Sword Immortal (candle emoji).”

…

Right at this moment, a profile picture popped up…

Green River Sword Immortal: “Holy f*ck! Fellow cultivator An Lin, why are you cursing me?!”

Seeing this message, An Lin’s hands started trembling and he almost threw his phone away.

Three seconds later…

Green River Sword Immortal: “Holy f*ck! Why are you all cursing me?!”

…

Enlightened Lazurite: “Holy f*ck!”

Calm Celestial Maiden: “Good Heavens!”

Tian Lingling: “Ah! His corpse has come to life!”

Atomic Bomb Fairy: “Shocking!”

The Savior: “Green River, are you a human or ghost?!”

The cultivators in the groupchat all expressed astonishment at Green River Sword Immortal’s revival.

Green River Sword Immortal: “… I’m not in the mood to joke around with you guys!”

Crack Shot Clairvoyant: “@Buddhist Abbot Haiyin, please explain.”

One after another, the cultivators in the groupchat all sent @Buddhist Abbot Haiyin in succession.

An Lin: “…”

What beautiful redirection of hostility!

Sure enough, Green River Sword Immortal started to verbally attack Buddhist Abbot Haiyin furiously.

It was a pity that Buddhist Abbot Haiyin remained silent though, not appearing in the groupchat again…

After a while, Green River Sword Immortal suddenly sent a location.

“I’m at this location right now and I’m being chased by one Demon King and two Blood Gods. Are there any cultivators nearby who can come and help? Let’s launch a counterattack!”

An Lin looked at the location that Green River Sword Immortal sent. It was very close to where he was…