Bear School Astartes

This jar of cherry jam, hurled from above, was made with rich ingredients. After the glass jar shattered, its intense sweet aroma briefly overshadowed the sweaty odor of the gathered crowd.

At the corner of the alley, a large crowd had gathered, right beside a small pink-painted house.

A young blonde woman in pajamas stood on the flower-decked rooftop terrace, looking down. Her soft shoulder curves were barely concealed beneath the ruffles of her tight corset. She grabbed a flower pot, ready to throw it down.

Geralt was also someone who enjoyed watching a commotion, but sitting atop Roach, he couldn’t see over the crowd to discern what was going on inside.

He only heard the young Demon Hunter beside him making clucking sounds of interest, growing increasingly anxious.

Lann, with his physique and that of the Qilin, could clearly see the situation within the crowd.

A familiar man in a flamboyant, cherry-red tight blouse with ruffled puff sleeves stood next to a splatter of shattered cherry jam.

Undoubtedly, this position was misleading because when that blonde woman threw the flower pot, the man had already jumped away in the opposite direction.

”Please, Donna!” the man shouted, and this voice made Geralt suddenly realize the situation, promptly covering his forehead.

”Don’t believe what they say! I’m loyal to you! If I’m lying, I’d rather die right here!”

”Scoundrel! Devil! Rogue! Crappy poet!”

The voluptuous blonde screamed, running back inside, undoubtedly to search for more ammunition.

”Nice dodging, Dandelion.”

Lann applauded vigorously from outside the crowd and squeezed in with the curious Qilin to get closer to the minstrel.

The Ancient Dragon from the New Continent had truly never seen such a spectacle before and was extremely curious now.

”Looks like you’ve learned a thing or two from past experiences, right? Are you okay? In trouble?”

”Ah, everything’s fine,” the minstrel replied with a smile, ”Just the usual. How are you, Lann... Geralt? What are you doing here? Wait! For the sake of the plague, watch out!”

Though the minstrel couldn’t always be relied upon, he was certainly smart enough.

Upon seeing Lann’s hooded cloak, he immediately realized it wasn’t a good time to shout names loudly.

But in this situation, ’smart’ wasn’t going to cut it.

A tin teacup whistled through the air, clattering onto the cobblestones. Dandelion picked it up, assessed the damage, and casually tossed it into the roadside ditch.

Novigrad had one point over most northern cities—its main areas were fully cobblestoned, protecting pedestrians from stepping into a mix of mud or excrement while walking.

”Hold on to your clothes,” yelled the blonde from above, her pajama ruffles bouncing vigorously across her ample chest, ”Don’t let me see you again! Never come back, you useless singer! Useless poet!”

”These aren’t mine,” Dandelion said in surprise, picking up a pair of garish trousers from the ground, ”I’ve never worn anything like this in my life. The design is too ridiculous! You can’t insult my fashion sense!”

The blonde on the attic floor was momentarily stumped, but quickly resumed her furious yelling.

”Get lost, Dandelion! I don’t want to see you again! Do you... do you know how you are in bed? Useless! Absolutely uninspiring! Understand? Everyone heard it? He leaves me absolutely uninspired in bed!”

The crowd below the attic had fallen momentarily silent when Lann squeezed in—his physique was truly intimidating.

But as Lann himself made it clear he was just there for a show, the blonde upstairs began saying things most were far too happy to hear.

Instantly, the crowd, there for the show, either began cheering or whistling, urging the blonde to continue. Regardless, it spawned a burst of joyful atmosphere.

”Just to be safe...” At this moment, Geralt had also squeezed his way in.

The people were packed, so he had to dismount, leading his horse to make his way in.

His face bore a look of unease.

”Let’s first ensure this girl doesn’t have a crossbow or anything in her room, alright?”

”It’s actually... possible.” The minstrel craned his neck to peek into the attic room, which housed many items that could serve as ’ammunition.’

”Her brother seems to have worked in both the armory and the blacksmith’s shop, so he might have made one for her.”

”Staying here wouldn’t be wise, then.” Lann said with a twitch at the corner of his mouth. ”You could wait until she calms down to return.”

”Isn’t this a nightmare?” Dandelion said with a pained expression. ”First insulted with harsh words, then pummeled with jam and flowerpots. I have no interest in coming back. Our brief relationship ends here.”

”But we’d better wait a while until she... ah, gods above! No! Donna! Don’t throw my lute!”

The minstrel rushed forward, arms outstretched, catching the instrument just at the last moment before it hit the ground. The lute let out a whining vibration of its strings.

”Dear god,” Dandelion sighed heavily as he stood up, ”It’s a relief I caught it. Alright, everything’s fine, let’s get out of here.”

”My hat with the hawk feather is still at her place, bought at a high price. But I doubt she’ll throw it down, and it doesn’t matter, consider it a penalty for my foolishness.”

The expensive hat with the hawk feather indeed wasn’t thrown down.

But with another bout of hysterics from the blonde, a cheap soft cloth cap with a heron feather came tumbling down with a pile of little bits and pieces.

Dandelion trotted over, dusted it off, and perched it on his head.

Thus regaining a familiar appearance in Lann’s eyes.

As he squeezed his way out, the minstrel paid his respects to the onlookers as if he’d just completed a street performance.

The previously rather sarcastic words were merely part of a performance script.

”What made her so upset? What foolish thing did you do, Dandelion?”

Lann leaned down on the Qilin’s back and smiled at the minstrel.

He didn’t dismount because if he walked on foot, the area occupied by him and the Qilin would look even larger.

”As usual,” the minstrel shrugged, ”she wants me to stick to monogamy, but she flaunts other men’s pants to the world without hesitation.”

”Did you hear the nasty things she just said? For the gods’ sake, I’ve slept with better women, but I wouldn’t brag about it in the street. Let’s move on.”

”Alright, let’s go.” Lann said, though he hesitated a bit, ”Uh... any suggestions on where to go?”

Just like any friendship between men, everyone is ready to leave at a moment’s notice, but they all get stumped when asked where to go.

Fortunately, Dandelion is an expert in food, drink, and fun.

”Anywhere is fine as long as it’s not the Eternal Fire’s Divine Hall, but I recommend ’Long Hair Cave’ because I haven’t had lunch yet.”

”We can order their famous fried fish set and chat while we eat. Like, this magnificent, elegant, and tall horse you’re riding, and the little cat in your arms?”

Dandelion’s laid-back nature meant he wasn’t in a hurry to ask about Rong Buqiu and the Qilin, preferring to talk when relaxed.

After all, as Lann’s friend, he’s well aware of his extraordinary qualities.

”Hello meow!”

So when Rong Buqiu opened his mouth to talk, Dandelion simply blinked and accepted it as a matter of course.

”Wow, hello there, pretty little cat. May I ask, you...”

”My name is Rong Buqiu, Elu Cat, a warrior meow!”

The little cat stood proudly in front of the saddle, arms crossed.

Fortunately, the Qilin was tall enough that not many people noticed.

And Dandelion played along beautifully, gently plucking the strings of his lute, the flowing melody soothing and lovely.

”Indeed, I could tell this dignified cat must be a master!”

”Really? Thank you, meow!”

An experienced flatterer, the great poet quickly made the straightforward Elu Cat feel on top of the world while casually waving to people on the side of the road.

Two girls carrying vegetable baskets giggled.

”But seriously, how did you two end up coming to Novigrad together?”

”He’s got something to take care of.” Geralt walked his horse alongside Dandelion, pointing upwards at Lann, ”He’s looking for Dudu.”

When they first met the Shapeshifter, Dandelion was there the whole time, being a mutual friend to both the Shapeshifter and Geralt.

”Looking for Dudu? For business?” Dandelion was a bit surprised, but quickly didn’t concern himself with it. ”Eh, doesn’t matter.”

The minstrel puckered his lips, making a goofy face, and casually brushed a chicken feather off his heron-feathered hat.

They had just passed a place where chickens were being slaughtered, chaos everywhere.

”Geralt’s been here plenty of times, I’m too lazy to chat much with him, but you’re different, Lann.”

The poet spoke happily, with a sense of harmless pride.

”It’s a pleasure to see you in Novigrad, this is the heart of the world and culture. A civilized person can breathe freely here!”

”Alright then, gentlemen of civilization.” Lann went with the flow, extending a finger from beneath his cloak to point at a nearby alley.

”But how about we find a different place to breathe freely, yes?”

Not far into the alley, a barefooted man was squatting and doing his business, staring at them wide-eyed.

”My method of dealing with this: out of sight, out of mind.”

Dandelion remained unruffled, his composure fitting for a famous performer.

”I suggest you do the same, considering I know Demon Hunters have keener senses than most people.”

”Uh... let’s not talk about that, out of sight, out of mind.”

Lann’s mouth twitched beneath his cloak.

Luckily, the tavern Dandelion picked wasn’t far away, just around the corner.

”Please accept my greetings!” Dandelion cheerfully grinned at a girl sweeping the tavern steps, ”Oh darling, has anyone ever told you how adorable you are?”

Lann and Geralt exchanged glances, they both thought the girl might hit the minstrel with the broom handle.

But they were wrong, the girl smiled back at the minstrel, giving a strong blink. Then suddenly, as if remembering something, she forced a serious and dismissive look.

But before she could utter anything unpleasant, Dandelion, as if expecting it, smoothly spoke.

”The boss must have told you: if Dandelion comes again asking for credit, just chase him away with the broom.”

”But today is different! Lovely girl, today Dandelion shall settle all tabs! Yes, you heard right, all of them!”

The minstrel boasted ahead, yet Lann and Geralt suddenly exchanged uneasy glances, feeling something amiss.