The Sorcerer's Handbook

Ashe suddenly remembered something. He pulled the car to a halt, and a diary manifested in his hand.

”What’s that?” Dia asked.

”A Secret Poison Diary.”

Ashe briefly explained its properties. The moment Sonya heard it could entirely suppress the effects of secret poisons, her eyes lit up. ”Are there any spares? Get me one too!”

”Everyone will get one eventually,” Ashe promised.

When he originally claimed his rewards from the Dream Expedition event, the white mist anomaly had erupted at the exact same time. Immediately afterward, a frenzy of Red Hats had chased them down, leaving him with zero downtime. Over the next two days, Ashe had completely forgotten about the diary. Only now did he finally have a chance to open it.

As for which poison to record first, he had already made up his mind. It would be the Whirlpool Secret Poison!

They were no longer in the Sea of Knowledge, so the Whirlpool Secret Poison held absolutely no practical value to them anymore. Yet, its lingering symptoms were remarkably unpleasant. If the Concept Secret Poison merely made Ashe occasionally cynical about the world, the Whirlpool Secret Poison made him actively loathe water.

Aside from bathing, Ashe found himself exclusively drinking lemon tea or dark, opaque beverages that looked suspiciously like industrial toilet cleaner, all to circumvent the hydrophobia induced by the poison.

There was also a far more delicate issue. Saliva was water, too.

Swallowing his own saliva was tolerable enough, but touching anyone else’s would instantly trigger a violent, hydrophobic reaction. The Whirlpool Secret Poison might not have been the most lethal toxin in existence, but it was easily the most detrimental to his quality of life.

After meticulously logging the Whirlpool Secret Poison into the diary, Ashe frowned. ”The advancement condition for this diary spirit is bizarre. The copied pages have to be read more than five hundred times before they upgrade automatically... But if someone picks up a copy and reads about a poison, they probably won’t read it a second time, right? They might just toss it away.”

Sonya nodded in agreement. ”Then you need to write something else alongside it, something enticing enough to make people keep the copy and check it regularly.”

”Like what?”

Dia piped up instantly, ”Fairy tales!”

Sonya considered it for a moment. ”Or interesting novels?”

”So you’re both suggesting literary bait? As it happens, I know a specific genre that absolutely everyone will enjoy, regardless of age, gender, or species. Even different races won’t be able to resist it.”

Both the Witch and the Swordswoman leaned in, thoroughly intrigued. ”What kind of genre is that powerful?”

”Erotic literature.”

”What’s erotic literature?” Dia asked innocently.

A heartbeat later, her face flushed a deep crimson. It seemed the White Queen and her other alters had just swiftly delivered a round of ”emergency education” to the naive princess. Covering her burning face, Dia stammered, ”Watcher, are you planning to write a story with you and the Swordswoman as the main characters?”

”No, no, no!” Ashe shook his head frantically, waving his hands to squash the idea. ”You don’t understand. When writing that kind of fantasy, the absolute golden rule is to avoid being too familiar with the subject. Distance creates a sense of longing! Just like how romance writers often have zero real-world romantic experience, if I write erotic literature, I absolutely cannot use someone I know intimately. Otherwise, it loses its artistic appeal. Besides, doing that to the Swordswoman would be highly disrespectful. I’m not that kind of guy!”

Ashe spoke with such righteous conviction that he left the Swordswoman absolutely no room to flare up. After all, certain thoughts were meant to stay locked securely in his imagination. If he actually put them on paper, Sonya would likely beat him to death on the spot.

That said, Ashe still possessed plenty of ”local material” to draw from back home. Titles like The Prison Treatment Room, Life with a Veela, Picked Up by a Female Boss, and My Boss’s Elven Mother began swirling through his head.

Just as the creative juices started flowing, Sonya’s voice cut through his thoughts, dropping the temperature in the car to freezing.

”I don’t particularly care whether you write about me or not. But if I remember correctly, didn’t you wake up with amnesia?”

Ashe blinked. ”Uh... yeah?”

Sonya fixed her gaze on him, her eyes narrowing into sharp slits. ”Since losing your memory, have you had any intimate experiences with other women?”

Ashe swallowed hard. ”No...”

Sonya withdrew her piercing stare, completely unimpressed. ”Exactly. Without a shred of real experience, how do you expect to write that kind of lingering, breathtaking intimacy?”

Despite feeling slightly insulted, Ashe had to admit the Swordswoman was entirely right. He found himself utterly unable to refute her logic.

Still, as a seasoned corporate worker, his primary survival instinct was to tackle impossible challenges head-on. If I lack experience, I’ll just have to grind, overwork myself, and outcompete everyone else!

Ashe muttered determinately, ”Then I’ll just have to find a way to bridge that knowledge gap in real life...”

Sonya reached out and pressed a palm against Ashe’s shoulder, summoning a hazy, translucent One-Winged spirit. It flickered weakly, looking as though it might dissolve into thin air after a single use.

”Watcher, this is a Miracle I bought specifically for you. It’s called the Heart Pen,” Sonya said, her voice suddenly adopting an unusually gentle, almost sweet cadence. ”Its core components are your Swordheart and Sword Scar spirits. Do you have any idea how devastating it is in actual combat?”

Ashe stammered. ”H-how?”

Sonya lightly traced a single finger across the back of Ashe’s neck. ”Wherever the Heart Pen passes, it leaves behind indelible ink marks.”

Even through the thick fabric of his hood, Ashe felt a violent chill run straight down his spine.

Sonya continued softly, ”The ink marks cannot be erased. Anything that tries to pass through them is cleanly severed. Furthermore, if you combine it with Poison Class spirits, the wounds inflicted by those marks will rapidly fester and spread contamination, causing the target to die a truly agonizing death. I spent fifteen Gold Coins to purchase this Miracle for you. Do you like it?”

Ashe nodded with rapid, frantic intensity. ”Yes! I love it, I’m incredibly satisfied! On second thought, I think I mistook a momentary creative impulse for actual talent. I clearly have absolutely no gift for erotic literature. Swordswoman, why don’t you decide what I should write instead?”

He had no earthly idea what had triggered her temper, but experience had taught him a golden rule that whenever the Swordswoman spoke this gently, she was absolutely furious. Yet, beneath the terror, a strange realization dawned on him. She had actually spent her own money to buy him a Miracle. This was the very first time Ashe had ever been financially backed by one of his operators.

Honestly, the feeling of being supported like a kept man was rather nice. Since the Swordswoman had generously paid for the upgrade, he needed to show his appreciation and ensure she got her money’s worth.

Unfortunately, Sonya herself didn’t have a better suggestion for the contents.

Breaking the silence, Dia suddenly piped up, ”Sister White mentioned that you could just write a regular journal in the notebook.”

Ashe and Sonya turned to look at her as she explained, ”If another sorcerer picks up a copy, getting a rare glimpse into the real-world experiences of a peer is more than enough to hook them. And since you’re writing a diary... well, even the worst villains in fairy tales can’t resist sneaking a peek at someone else’s private diary.”

Ashe and Sonya considered the logic and found themselves agreeing. They had overcomplicated things. In a world full of guarded secrets, the chance to peer into the life of another sorcerer was already an irresistible lure.

However, before Ashe could put pen to paper, he hit a roadblock. ”There are too many things in my current reality that I legally can’t reveal. And as for the Virtual World, aside from the Swordswoman coming over to cling to me all the time, nothing particularly noteworthy happens. Anyone reading it would die of boredom.”

Sonya bit her lip, her face flushing as she shot him a sharp retort. ”I told you, I am not clinging!”

She quickly cleared her throat and added, ”Even if you don’t have anything exciting to write about the present, you can always write about your past.”

That hit him like a lightning bolt.

When Ashe looked back, his harrowing survival and exploits in Shattered Lake Prison felt incredibly legendary. He had wanted to brag about them for a long time. The Swordswoman had already heard his dramatic retellings, and whenever he tried to boast to Lys in the real world, Harvey and Iger would inevitably butt in and ruin his momentum. He had never gotten the chance to properly document and organize that thrilling prison break.

Now, the Secret Poison Diary gave him the ultimate excuse to finally romanticize his memories.

Since they still needed to continue exploring the Virtual World, Ashe didn’t linger. He hastily penned down three introductory lines before snapping the notebook shut.

”In 1668, our city earned the title of The Safest Place in the Country.

”I had a lot to do with that, but not in the way you’d expect.

”You see... I was arrested.”

***

On the first layer of the Virtual World, the Sea of Knowledge.

Freya lay flat on her back inside a small boat, staring up at the endless white mist in sheer boredom. ”My mana is growing so slowly...”

With the aid of her vessel, the Veela’s exploration speed in the Virtual World was already two to three times faster than that of any ordinary sorcerer. Yet, after so many days of charting the fog, she had only managed to condense a single silver feather. Her ultimate goal, a fully unfurled Silver Wing, still felt agonizingly out of reach.

If only I could stumble into a legendary Whirlpool... Freya thought wistfully.

In the minds of Silver Rank sorcerers, nothing was more enviable than such a stroke of cosmic luck. Encountering just one Whirlpool could save months, if not years, of grueling effort. And with all that saved time, she could probably even have a child with Ashe.

Wait, why did I suddenly think of that bastard?

Freya’s brow furrowed. She recalled a dinner where she and Ashe had discussed Whirlpools. He had mentioned that he knew exactly how to locate them, but warned her that the secret itself was toxic. At the time, she wasn’t even a sorcerer. If she was destined to live out her days as an ordinary person, that forbidden knowledge would act as nothing but a literal poison, so he had withheld it.

Yet, a mere few days after his departure, she had successfully summoned the Echo spirit and awakened as a sorcerer.

Just a few days apart... If only I had become a sorcerer a little sooner... Maybe...

Freya slapped her cheeks with both hands, aggressively forcing the image of that troublesome man out of her mind. Just as she braced herself to resume her exploration, a distinct plop echoed from behind, breaking the silence of the sea.

”Hm?”

The Veela turned her head toward the sound, her eyes widening slightly as she spotted a lone notebook bobbing gently on the surface of the water.