The Overlord of Puluo

Dream Virtue gained the upper hand in the argument, and Li Banfeng immediately felt the old man’s ability weaken.

”Whether she was a Wounded Demonic Fiend or not, that woman meant to hurt your master. I saved his life, so this offering of service must count.”

The old man remained patient and kept reasoning with Dream Virtue. The infuriating part was that his argument did make some sense.

Dream Virtue was left speechless again, and Li Banfeng’s right leg, which had only just regained a little freedom, slipped back out of his control.

The old man raised the short saber again. ”What else do you have to say?”

Li Banfeng asked, ”How do you know that woman was going to kill me?”

”She had no reason to approach you, yet she tried to tempt you with sweet, flirtatious words,” the old man said. ”That alone proves she was up to no good!”

Dream Virtue caught the flaw in his argument at once. ”Not necessarily. Perhaps that woman really liked my master and threw herself into his arms out of pure sincerity!”

The old man shook his head. ”That claim is absolutely absurd!”

Li Banfeng said, ”What gives you the right to say it’s absurd? How would you know what that woman was thinking? Could it be that she’s your accomplice?”

Li Banfeng guessed right again. That woman really was the old man’s accomplice, and the moment the truth was exposed, the old man’s arm shook violently. This time, the backlash was far worse than before.

Dream Virtue seized the chance and struck hard. ”You shameless old bastard! You teamed up with that indecent woman and used dirty tricks to seduce my master.

”My master is upright and righteous, so of course he didn’t fall for it. Yet after setting the whole thing up yourself, you still have the nerve to call it an offering and demand payment for it?

”With petty tricks like yours, you should be scraping for scraps in the gutter. How dare you come here, twist right and wrong, and act like some crooked cheat? You have lived to such an old age, yet you still don’t even know how to spell the word vile!”

It was a magnificent scolding, the kind that left the old man staring with his mouth hanging open, unable to squeeze out a single word.

Li Banfeng could feel that the force binding his legs had loosened by almost eighty percent. He could not rush it. All he had to do was wait, ever so carefully, for the right moment to take out the key. After all, Grandpa Train had warned him that even the tiny act of taking out the key would draw attention.

However, the old man was not paying Li Banfeng any attention. He was still fussing and reasoning with Dream Virtue.

Li Banfeng thought it to be strange. He is trying to control me, isn’t he? Then why does he keep reasoning with Dream Virtue? Could all this arguing have been meant for someone else from the very beginning? If so, who is he really trying to convince?

The old man fell silent for a moment before suddenly saying, ”Let us set aside the matter of me saving him for now. I did give him three offerings!”

How does that work?

The old man said, ”I invited him to watch a fine show. Does that count as an offering?”

THAT COUNTS?! YOU CAN PLAY THE GAME THIS WAY?

The old man had indeed put on a show, and Li Banfeng had indeed watched it. The problem was that Li Banfeng had never wanted to watch that show in the first place. However, it seemed like whether he wanted to or not, as long as he watched it, he owed the old man.

Li Banfeng could not think of a response, but Dream Virtue remained perfectly composed. She calmly loosened the front of her dress.

What is she doing? Li Banfeng thought. Has the Film Projector spoiled her brain too?

Dream Virtue tugged her qipao down a little and revealed one smooth, bare shoulder.

The old man froze. For once, even his crooked old mouth forgot how to argue. ”What is the meaning of this?”

Dream Virtue smiled and said, ”Did you see that? Was my show good?”

The old man said angrily, ”I didn’t want to see it! This doesn’t count as payment!”

Dream Virtue snorted. ”If you didn’t want to see it, you shouldn’t have looked. Since you looked, that means you accepted it!”

A Moralism Cultivator had actually used the old man’s own crooked logic to counter his Daoist Path.

The old man trembled from head to toe, so furious that he looked ready to cough up smoke.

At that moment, the force binding Li Banfeng’s legs vanished completely. Li Banfeng seized the chance at once. He took out the key, opened the door of the Pocket Dwelling, grabbed Dream Virtue, and rushed inside.

”Don’t run!” The old man reached for Li Banfeng.

Li Banfeng had been waiting for that. He followed the force of the old man’s grab, surged forward, and dragged him straight into the house.

The room was very dark. Only a faint candle flame flickered inside.

Beside the candle stood a mirror, and in front of the mirror, a spear was grooming itself.

Yes. A spear was grooming itself.

The old man stared at it and sank into a very deep, very puzzled silence.

Just then, a burst of gongs and drums rang out behind him, followed by a bright, crisp singing voice.

”Heeeyaaa-aaah! You wreeetched thiiing! Those eyes of yooours are cleeearly bliiind, so why-y-y are you still looooking in the miiirror?”

Hong Ying responded, ”I love looking in the mirror because I am beautiful.”

”What part of you is beautiful?”

”My face is beautiful, and my figure is beautiful too. In any case, I look far better than that ghostly face of yours.”

The old man turned around and saw a gramophone arguing with a spear.

The old man gritted his teeth and said, ”After living all these years, I really have seen a monster today!”

Hong Ying turned toward the voice. ”Who are you calling a monster?”

The old man glared at Li Banfeng. ”Monster, is this your lair?”

Li Banfeng froze. ”Are you calling me a monster?”

The old man pulled a handful of wild fruit from his right pocket and was just about to scatter them across the floor.

Before he could move, a cloud of steam curled around his right hand and locked it in place.

”Heyaaaaa~ Husband dear~ You brought back an Oldie Due-Taker.”

Li Banfeng was startled. ”What is an Oldie Due-Taker?”

The Gramophone said, ”It is a roaming aberration from the new lands. It offers three services, then demands three payments. This thing’s level is not low! This is our home. If those wild fruits touch the floor, it will mean we have accepted his offering. Wouldn’t that count as another service from him?”

The old man reached his left hand toward his pocket again, but a wave of pressure swept over him, frightening him into a shudder. With a swish, his left hand fell to the floor.

”Who... My hand!” The old man had no idea why his hand had fallen off.

Hong Ying was still sitting before the mirror, calmly doing her makeup as though she had never moved at all.

The Gramophone snorted. ”Wretch, you accepted one of his hands. That counts as one offering.”

”Is that so?” Hong Ying set down the rouge and picked up an eyebrow pencil.

Swish!

Another soft sound rang out, and both of the old man’s legs were severed at the knees.

The old man wanted to speak. The hand and the two legs counted as three offerings, so by his own rules, he should have been able to demand payment. Unfortunately, he could no longer speak.

Hong Ying drew a line across her face with the eyebrow pencil, and a hole opened in the old man’s throat. Now the Oldie Due-Taker could not speak at all.

The Gramophone snapped, ”You wretch, don’t kill him yet. I haven’t eaten!”

Hong Ying went on drawing her eyebrows. ”You can have the soul. Leave some of the flesh and blood for me.”

”Oh my, you wretch. I thought you don’t eat mortal food?”

”Things are different now.” Hong Ying smiled. ”I am a proper maiden now, with a front door and a back door. Besides, these few days happen to be a special time for me, so I need to eat something to replenish my blood and qi.”

”A special time, is it?” the Gramophone scoffed. ”Why don’t you give birth to a baby while you are at it?”

”Soon enough. When the time comes, I will have you, you wicked woman, look after my child!”

The Gramophone was rather angry, but Crimson Lotus was even angrier. From far away in the seventh room, she muttered to herself, Hong Ying, you wretch, can’t you just eat the soul? Why do you have to eat the flesh and blood too?

After Hong Ying finished drawing her eyebrows, she asked tenderly, ”Darling Qi, do you think I look beautiful?

”Darling Qi, I am asking you a question.

”Darling Qi, where are youuuuuuuuuuu?”

Li Banfeng was hiding behind the Gramophone.

The Gramophone gave a tinkling little giggle. ”Heyaaaa~ Husband dear, don’t tickle my belly. It tickles most dreadfully!”

”I am only checking whether you have grown chubbier.”

”Husband dear~ Why are you always hoping I will grow fat?”

”Because a plump wife means a prosperous home!”

Hong Ying trembled from head to toe. Her loose hair shook with her, and every strand seemed to quiver with rage.

Just then, the Oldie Due-Taker’s right hand wriggled free from the steam. Like a nasty little spider, it dipped one finger into his own blood and tried to write on the floor.

Hong Ying’s body swayed, and she cut off his right hand as well.

”Wicked woman, hurry up and eat him. Don’t let him cause any more trouble.” Hong Ying sat before the mirror, combing her hair with visible irritation.

The Gramophone held back her laughter. ”Husband dear, stop playing around for now. Let us deal with the serious matter first.”

Wifey and Hong Ying might have handled the Oldie Due-Taker easily, but neither of them underestimated him. Even now, he was still trying to write on the floor with the broken bone in his arm.

The Gramophone wrapped him tightly in steam and began sucking out his soul.

Li Banfeng found it hard to understand. ”Why is he still writing?”

As Wifey sucked out his soul, she sang, ”Ooooldie Due-Taaaker! Ooooldie Due-Taaaker! Before he asks you to paaay, He must chaaant and have his saaay!”

”What does that mean?”

”It’s an old folk rhyme about the Oldie Due-Taker’s nature. Before he can demand payment, he has to explain his reason clearly. If he can’t explain it, he can’t make a move.”

”That’s the Oldie Due-Taker’s nature?”

”It is not his nature. It is a law, and the law does not only apply to Oldie Due-Takers. Every Devotion Cultivator has to obey it.

”Oldie Due-Takers are transformed from high-level Devotion Cultivators. Judging from the quality of this soul, this one should be at level eight.”

”What kind of Daoist Path is Devotion Cultivation?”

”It is a Daoist Path that turns devotion into cultivation. ”For every offering they give, they demand one payment in return.”

”Oldie Due-Takers are affected by the new lands, so their situation is special. They have to give three offerings before they can demand payment. Otherwise, their own cultivation will backlash against them.”

”These things are extremely rare in the new lands. Husband dear, how did you run into him?”

”He brought a woman over to trick me, but I didn’t fall for it. Then he moved a stone over for me to sit on, gave me a branch to use as a walking stick, and stirred up a gust of wind to wipe my sweat. He said that counted as three offerings...”

The Oldie Due-Taker struggled violently, and Li Banfeng warned, ”Careful, Wifey. This old thing is very fast.”

”He might not be that quick with his hands, but his footwork is indeed fast. Of course, that depends on who he is chasing. This is a Devotion Cultivator ability called Debt-Claiming Pursuit. Once someone accepts his offering, he will hound them relentlessly.

”Husband dear, since you managed to keep him around for so long, your footwork must not be slow either!”

Uh... Li Banfeng paused, then quickly changed the subject. ”Wifey, what did he write?”

”Nothing worth looking at. It is just those reasons again. He does not have to recite them aloud. Writing them down works too.”

”Then who is he writing them for?” Li Banfeng asked. ”If we do not read them, his ability should not work, right?”

”He is not writing them for us. When Devotion Cultivators chant their ’scriptures,’ they are really chanting for themselves. Their ability only works if they can convince themselves that their reasoning holds up. I can’t explain the exact principle behind it, but I do know this Daoist Path is a real test of character.”

After the Gramophone finished eating the Oldie Due-Taker’s soul, Hong Ying took some of his flesh and blood and smeared it along the tip of her spear. Once she was done, the spear tip looked even rosier than before.

She wanted to ask Li Qi whether she looked pretty, but before she could speak, she heard him fooling around with the Gramophone again. Judging from the Gramophone’s giggles, Li Qi was probably rubbing her belly too.

After Hong Ying finished eating, the Pendulum and the Earring rushed forward together. The Tang Saber refused to be left behind and snatched a piece of flesh before darting off with it.

The Judge’s Brush gave a cold snort. It wanted to eat too, but it was far too lazy to move.

The Liquor Gourd and the Old Teapot each took a bite. The Gramophone collected some fresh blood and poured it onto the adhesive tape. The roll had already been more than half used, but after drinking the blood, it grew rapidly and soon became a full roll again.

The Film Projector sighed deeply. ”Why are you all so cruel?”

Then he released a girl from the film, had her cut off a piece of flesh for him, and placed it inside the film chamber.

The Glove kept shaking his head. ”I really can’t bear to watch this.”

He slipped into the third room and shut the door behind him. Then, while no one was paying attention, he spat out a piece of flesh and trembled with excitement. ”This piece is the best. Those madmen and madwomen don’t understand anything!”

Hong Ying sat silently for a while before she suddenly felt her body changing. Her bosom was growing, her hips were filling out, and even her cultivation was recovering.

”No wonder you are all such gluttons. Eating flesh and blood in this house really is different!”

Hong Ying rushed forward and joined the others in fighting over the food.

Li Banfeng cut off a piece of flesh and set it aside for Dream Virtue. ”You made a great contribution in this battle. Hong Ying hit you a little too hard earlier, so don’t take it to heart.”

Dream Virtue covered her butt and said with an aggrieved expression, ”Master, you won’t even rub it for me?”

”Haaaah!” the Gramophone snapped. ”You shameless wretch, are you looking for another beating? Get back on the wall!”

By the time everyone had eaten and drunk their fill, there was barely anything left of the Oldie Due-Taker.

Li Banfeng brought the Crimson Lotus over and placed her beside the scraps. ”Eat.”

The Crimson Lotus trembled, then slowly opened her petals. She seemed to mutter something to the Gramophone.

The Gramophone said impatiently, ”I know, I know. There is not much flesh and blood left, so there will be fewer pills. No one is blaming you.”

The Crimson Lotus was furious. Li Banfeng frowned. ”Forget it if you don’t want to eat. I will save it for their next meal.”

That did it. The Crimson Lotus stopped hesitating and swallowed what was left of the Oldie Due-Taker, leaving not even a drop of blood behind.

The Gramophone reminded him, ”Husband dear, we still don’t know where this Oldie Due-Taker came from. From what I remember, things like him don’t show up for no reason. You have to be more careful.”

Li Banfeng knew she was right. There had been the sweet snot, and now there was the Oldie Due-Taker. Why did these high-level roaming aberrations keep appearing one after another?

Besides, there was still one part of this mess left to clean up.

Li Banfeng asked the Film Projector, ”Did you record what the Oldie Due-Taker looked like?”

Author’s Note:

PS. What else is there to clean up?