The Overlord of Puluo

Face Not-Big kept insisting that Li Banfeng was trying to steal his oil.

Li Banfeng then became furious. ”This oil is stuck to me. I am disgusted enough as it is!”

”Then don’t take it with you!” Face Not-Big snapped.

”Who said I am taking it with me? Take it back if you can!”

”Take off your clothes first!”

”These are my clothes. Why should I take them off?”

”If you don’t take them off, then you are trying to steal my oil!”

There was no reasoning with him, so Li Banfeng turned and kept running. The wind in the jungle was fierce, and sand and gravel kept flying into his face.

Even so, Li Banfeng pushed through the wind and forced his way forward. Face Not-Big soon caught up from behind and grabbed him.

”There’s no time. Come with me.”

”No time for what?”

”Just come!”

Face Not-Big led Li Banfeng through the jungle at a sprint. Before long, they reached a giant tree, and Li Banfeng spotted the entrance to an underground burrow nearby.

Face Not-Big pointed at the burrow. ”Get in!”

Li Banfeng frowned. ”Why do I have to crawl into a place like that?”

”Because you will die if you don’t!”

Face Not-Big crawled in first the moment he said that.

Li Banfeng could feel danger closing in. The burrow looked unpleasant, but it did seem like the only way to avoid whatever was coming, so he followed Face Not-Big inside.

The burrow was far more complicated than it looked from the outside. Thick roots from the giant tree stretched through the earth, and caves of different sizes dotted the rock walls.

Face Not-Big climbed to a cave high up on the wall and hid inside. Then he beckoned for Li Banfeng to join him.

Before long, water began pouring into the burrow, and the water level rose at a frightening speed. The lower caves were quickly swallowed, and even the cave where Li Banfeng was hiding was not safe for much longer. The water had nearly reached its entrance.

Where is this water coming from?

Li Banfeng reached out of the cave, scooped up a little of the water, and examined it. It looked clear, but it felt slightly sticky between his fingers.

Little Face Not-Big rubbed his nose. ”I just had a little clear snot.”

Li Banfeng calmly wiped the ”water” from his hand onto Face Not-Big and said with great sincerity, ”I really didn’t come here to steal your oil.”

”Then tell me how you got here.”

”I was hunting in the New Land, and somehow, I fell into an oil lake.” Li Banfeng made up an excuse on the spot.

”The New Land?” Face Not-Big still did not believe him. ”Which part?”

Li Banfeng could not come up with anything better, so he kept making things up. ”The New Land near Greenwater Bay.”

”Greenwater Bay?” Face Not-Big paused. ”Is there such a place?”

After thinking for a moment, he seemed to remember something. ”I remember now. It used to be called Beggar Bay. Then Green Beggar took over that territory, and it became Greenwater Bay. So Green Beggar sent you here to steal my oil?”

Li Banfeng frowned. ”I don’t even know Green Beggar!”

”Then who sent you here to steal my oil?”

Li Banfeng was getting a headache. ”Why are you so set on thinking I’m here to steal your oil?”

”Then what else could you be here for?”

Li Banfeng could not explain. He came up with a good solution. ”How about this? You can take every bit of oil off me. Don’t leave a single drop. That way, you will feel better, and I will clear my name too. However, these clothes are mine. I am not leaving them with you.”

Face Not-Big thought it over for a moment. ”Fine. This isn’t the right place for it. Let’s go outside and deal with it there.”

Li Banfeng glanced at the clear liquid outside the cave, then looked back at Face Not-Big. ”How about we wait a bit before going out? That stuff outside hasn’t receded yet.”

”That’s easy!” Face Not-Big took a deep breath.

Slurp.

Gulp!

He swallowed the snot.

When Li Banfeng looked outside again, the tide had receded, leaving only a little dampness on the ground. He followed Face Not-Big out of the burrow and finally pieced together the general structure of the place. The forest was Face Not-Big’s nostril, and the lush trees were his nose hairs. The burrow they had hidden in earlier was one of his pores.

Face Not-Big led Li Banfeng out of the nostril.

In the blink of an eye, the two of them arrived in another forest.

This one was even denser than the last. Li Banfeng could not see where it ended, and when he looked up, he could not even make out the tops of the trees.

This must be his beard, right? Face Not-Big’s beard is pretty long!

Face Not-Big stood in front of Li Banfeng and gave a cough. In an instant, every trace of oil on Li Banfeng vanished.

”All right! There’s no oil left on you. You can leave!” Little Face Not-Big said and waved him off.

”Farewell!”

Li Banfeng turned to leave, but he had only taken two steps when Little Face Not-Big shouted after him, ”There’s oil stuck to the soles of your feet, and you still say you didn’t come here to steal it!”

Li Banfeng had no idea how to explain himself. ”Can we be reasonable here? There’s oil everywhere in this place. How am I supposed to avoid stepping in it?”

Little Face Not-Big thought it over for a moment. ”I do want to be reasonable with you, but this whole thing doesn’t make sense. You were wandering around the New Land at Beggar Bay, so you shouldn’t have ended up here!”

”There are plenty of things that don’t make sense,” Li Banfeng said. ”I am standing on your face, and you are standing right in front of me. Does that make sense to you?”

Little Face Not-Big thought about it for a while and agreed that it did not make sense. When he looked up again at Li Not-Crazy, he realized that Li Not-Crazy was already gone.

”Where are you going? Stop right there!”

Li Banfeng did not look back. Since there was no explaining this clearly, he might as well stop wasting his breath and run.

He had been inside Little Face Not-Big’s nostril once before. If he crawled deep enough, he might be able to make Little Face Not-Big sneeze him out.

Little Face Not-Big seemed to see through his plan at once. ”Go on, try it! I will drown you right there. I will drown you in yellow snot!”

***

At Lu Chunying’s residence, located in the eastern part of the Greenwater City, Lu Chunying could be seen tilting her face up while Xiao Yeci held her eyelids open.

”Mom, look carefully. Are there any blood vessels in my eyes?”

”Nan’nan, I have been holding your eyelids open for half an hour. Your eyes are already red from all the checking. Of course there are veins everywhere now.”

Lu Chunying rubbed her eyes. ”Big Brother Qiu told me to pay attention to my eyes after meeting Madam Duan. If more red veins show up, it means something bad is going to happen.”

Xiao Yeci was worried as well. She examined Lu Chunying carefully for a long while, but in the end, she could only shake her head.

”Nan’nan, close your eyes and rest for now. Once the redness fades, I’ll take a proper look.”

***

At the Lu Family estate, Qiu Zhiheng was reading the newspaper in the small building when Zhang Huaiyi knocked and entered.

Qiu Zhiheng looked up in surprise. ”Young Master Zhang, when did you arrive?”

Before this, Qiu Zhiheng had always called him Huaiyi. Now, he addressed him only as Young Master Zhang.

Zhang Huaiyi smiled. ”My mom cooked a few dishes herself and asked me to invite you over for dinner.”

”Madam Shaohong is here?” Qiu Zhiheng asked, deliberately bringing up Duan Shaohong.

Zhang Huaiyi’s smile stiffened, and his expression turned awkward.

”Uncle Qiu, I really mean...” He looked at Qiu Zhiheng, unsure how to explain himself.

Qiu Zhiheng waited in silence, giving him time to finish. Zhang Huaiyi opened his mouth, but he had no idea where to begin.

***

Three days later, Li Banfeng and Little Face Not-Big sat side by side in a ravine, each holding a roast chicken and slowly gnawing away.

The ravine was one of Little Face Not-Big’s forehead wrinkles.

Li Banfeng had inspected the roast chicken in his hands several times, but he still could not quite relax. ”This chicken didn’t grow out of your face, did it?”

Little Face Not-Big snapped, ”Have you ever seen a chicken growing on someone’s face? I hunted this outside and brought it back!”

To be fair, the roast chicken tasted pretty good. It was just a little greasy.

”Got any veggies? I need something fresh to balance out all this grease.”

Little Face Not-Big was not pleased. ”Balance out what? When I was young, getting to eat something oily and meaty even once was enough to make me happy for days, and here you are fussing about the grease!”

Li Banfeng gnawed on a chicken wing. ”So because you couldn’t get enough oil when you were young, you ended up making this much of it?”

Little Face Not-Big gnawed on a drumstick and sighed. ”What’s so bad about oil? It’s fragrant, rich, and smooth. The finest dishes in the world all depend on it.

”A dish without oil and fat has no place at a proper banquet, just as a person without money or connections has no way to rise in the world. As long as there’s still oil and meat on the table, life can’t be that hard. Tell me, isn’t oil the best thing in the world?”

Li Banfeng nodded. ”I never said oil was bad. I just really didn’t come here to steal it.”

Little Face Not-Big nodded. ”I believe you. After spending these three days together, I can tell you are not a bad person. But you did do one thing wrong. You shouldn’t have peed on my face.”

”What else was I supposed to do? It’s been three whole days. Where could I pee if not here?”

Little Face Not-Big was still upset. ”You could have peed on my cheek, but you shouldn’t have peed near my mouth!”

”I only saw trees there. How was I supposed to know that was your mouth?”

”Those weren’t trees. That was my beard!” Little Face Not-Big said as he looked at him resentfully. ”I really do want to let you go, but I still can’t feel at ease.”

Li Banfeng advised him, ”Relax. If you still won’t let me leave, peeing on your face is going to be the smallest trouble you have.”

Little Face Not-Big looked at him and said, ”Not-Crazy, you know where I am. I am worried that if you leak the news, the people from the Inner Provinces might find this place.

”It’s not that I doubt your character, but what if they catch you and torture you into telling them about this place? Can you promise you won’t reveal my whereabouts?”

Li Banfeng said, ”Don’t worry about that. I definitely can’t promise anything, but you can make sure I don’t know where you are. Send me away first, then move somewhere else!”

”I can’t move somewhere else. I can’t move.”

Li Banfeng froze. ”Why can’t you move?”

”I just... can’t.” Little Face Not-Big’s expression clouded with sorrow.

The two of them quietly ate their roast chickens. When they were almost halfway through, Little Face Not-Big turned to Li Banfeng.

”You said you ended up here without knowing how. I believe you now. I will find a way to send you out, and I won’t let you know how you left either. After that, let’s pretend we never met.”

”All right!” Li Banfeng said as he set down his half-eaten roast chicken and patted his chest. ”Once I get out, I will pretend I never met you. I absolutely won’t tell anyone about this!”

Little Face Not-Big sighed. ”Are there still any cultivators of my Daoist Path in this world?”

”You mean Oil Cultivators?”

Little Face Not-Big nodded.

”Yes! I have met two of them.”

Little Face Not-Big blinked, and a trace of excitement appeared on his face. ”Are they both doing well?”

Li Banfeng had no idea how to answer that.

One was Lightbulb. I last saw him in the Outer Provinces and even smacked him with a latiao, so he should still be alive. He works for the Dark Star Bureau, too, so his life probably isn’t that bad.

The other was Rong Jin’an. He was a support hook for the Geng Family Medicinal Trading House and nearly tortured Chubby to death. I fed him to Wifey.

Does that count as doing well?

”They are fine! Both of them are doing pretty well!” Li Banfeng answered according to his own understanding.

”That’s good. As long as they are doing well, and as long as there are still followers of my path.” Little Face Not-Big rose to his feet. ”When you meet the Peddler in the future, remember to tell him to come save me.”

”Alright. I promise.”

Little Face Not-Big snapped, ”Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t tell anyone? Now you are going to tell the Peddler?”

”That’s because you told me to...”

Before Li Banfeng could explain, Little Face Not-Big charged at him, and Li Banfeng turned and ran.

Little Face Not-Big chased Li Banfeng through a vast forest that stretched for dozens of miles.

The forest was dotted with oil lakes, and Li Banfeng had to skirt around them one after another, keeping close to the shore.

”Those are my eyebrows!” Little Face Not-Big shouted behind him.

So after the forehead came the eyebrows. The place where they had eaten the roast chicken earlier really had been one of Little Face Not-Big’s forehead wrinkles.

Li Banfeng had no time to take in the scenery. He kept running until the forest ended and a barren stretch of land appeared ahead.

There was no grass, no trees, and nothing else in sight. The wasteland stretched out before him, mostly flat except for a few shallow rises and dips.

”Those are my eyes!” Little Face Not-Big caught up from behind.

Li Banfeng kept running.

Since a single bump on Face Not-Big’s face could form an entire lake, Li Banfeng had assumed each eye would be as vast as an ocean.

However, there was no ocean in sight. There was only wilderness, stretching endlessly in every direction.

After running for who knew how long, the wilderness finally came to an end, and the ground began to rise. A tall mountain appeared ahead, and Li Banfeng recognized it at once. He had been here before.

”This is my nose!” Face Not-Big shouted.

Li Banfeng shouted back, ”I didn’t see your eyes!”

”They are covered!”

Li Banfeng did not understand.

Little Face Not-Big repeated, ”My eyes are covered.”

The Eye-Coverer? Little Face Not-Big once said someone in the Inner Provinces could cover eyes. Did someone from the Inner Provinces cover his eyes?

After running for a long while, Little Face Not-Big shouted, ”Stop!”

Li Banfeng stopped for the time being, bracing his hands on his knees as he kept panting.

To be honest, he had gotten used to it. Over the past three days, he had pushed every method of his Daoist Path to the limit and used every trick he had to deal with Little Face Not-Big.

Little Face Not-Big stood more than ten meters away and looked at Li Banfeng. ”You know Old Train’s footwork, and you can sing the Ballad of the Train. You must be his friend, right?”

”I am his brother!”

”Alright! I believe you!” Little Face Not-Big nodded. ”You say you didn’t steal my oil, but then why has my oil decreased?”

How would I know that? Did that bastard Glove steal his oil? I can’t simply tell him this.

”Maybe it flowed away,” Li Banfeng said. ”After being exposed to so much wind and sun, some of it might have evaporated too.”

”Evaporated?” Little Face Not-Big laughed. ”You really don’t know what this place is, do you?”

”I really don’t!”

Little Face Not-Big looked around and sighed. ”This place is a place of suffering. I am suffering. I want to tell someone how bitter my life has been, but no one ever talks to me.”

Li Banfeng fell silent for a moment before saying, ”I have talked with you quite a lot these past few days.”

”Yes, you have. I will let you go and send you to the New Land at Beggar Bay, but I can’t let you take the oil with you. Keep running forward!”

Li Banfeng ran dozens more kilometers before a violent gust swept in and lifted him off the ground.

Little Face Not-Big shouted, ”I can’t let you take the oil with you. I have taken it all back!”

Every trace of oil on Li Banfeng’s body vanished.

”If you meet Old Train, tell him burning oil is better than burning coal!”

The gust shot upward and hurled Li Banfeng through a crack. Darkness swallowed him first. Then smoke and dust poured over him, stinging his eyes so badly that he could not open them for a long while.

When the smoke and dust thinned at last, Li Banfeng came down with a thump.

He blinked, rubbed the grit from his eyes, and saw a rotten old tree standing ahead, all wrapped up in vines.

That sort of thing was everywhere in the New Land, but this one looked oddly familiar. He seemed to have been here before.

Li Banfeng was familiar with the New Land around Greenwater Bay. Once he figured out which direction he was facing, he could quickly find his way back to Properfolk Village.

He sat on the ground and rested for a while before taking out the Glove.

”Tell me. Did you steal the oil?”

The Glove used its index finger as a head and shook it again and again. ”What would I steal that stuff for?”

”You really didn’t steal it?”

”I didn’t!” the Glove said, sounding deeply wronged. ”I only stole half a roast chicken, and it was the part you left behind.”

With that, the Glove spat out the roast chicken.

Li Banfeng smiled. ”Look at you. Such small ambitions. Of all the things you could steal, why would you steal the chicken?”

Honestly, Little Face Not-Big made a very good roast chicken. What on earth happened to him? Is he the founding cultivator of Oil Cultivation? And where exactly is he?

He knows Grandpa Train and the Peddler. It won’t be easy for me to find Grandpa Train, but if I run into the Peddler someday, I must remember to ask him about Little Face Not-Big.

Actually, why wait for the Peddler? I can go see him myself. Once I have enough abilities and tricks to handle him, I will visit that oil lake again and ask Little Face Not-Big in person.

Li Banfeng picked up the roast chicken, planning to take a few more bites, only to realize it had vanished from his hand.

He was startled. ”Who’s there?”

A woman’s voice sounded beside his ear. ”Fine. I accept.”

Li Banfeng froze. ”Accept what?”

The woman answered, ”Let the trial of worthiness begin!”

A halo of light suddenly lit up around the plot of land.

Author’s Note:

P.S. What is this trial of worthiness for?