Shinrabansho: Myriad Souls

Ume returned only after the storm had faded into a distant rumbling. By then, Rui had gotten up and done a few useful things around the room. I… hadn’t. I stayed in bed, my head buried under the blanket, letting them exist around me, producing warm background noises.

The girls were watching television together with the volume turned down, but horror films don’t need much audio to be terrifying. Even through the muffled speakers I could hear sharp screaming and dramatic monster music. It felt bizarre, these kinds of chaotic noises filling my tiny apartment. My own thoughts were dark and heavy. I was grateful… deeply grateful that I wasn’t alone. But my mind was still collapsing under everything that had happened to me. Reiko-chan’s face, her death, my new face, my lack of a future. It all clamped down on me, holding me in place like a vice.

Still, the soft, cheerful voices of the girls helped. Rui murmuring commentary under her breath, Ume giggling giddily whenever something horrific happened, and the occasional scream from the TV… it created a strange, weirdly comforting rhythm.

I cracked the blanket open just a bit and peeked toward the screen.

They were ignoring me on purpose, letting me hide while they enjoyed their horror flick. A girl on the screen was fused with alien cells and beginning to mutate. Her features twisted, skin distorting…

“HYAAAAAAAAAAAA!”

I ducked back under the blanket like a turtle retreating into its shell.

Ume cackled like she was having the time of her life. “Ehehehehehe! These cheesy video effects are so great! Look at how her eyes are bulging—oh this is precious—!”

“No no no no no!” I curled tighter, jamming my pinky fingers into my ears so hard they might never come out.

The sight of that poor girl’s changing face wouldn’t leave my mind. I could still see it printed on my eyelids.

Despite myself I had another quick peek… surely that scene had to be over by now.

And then something poked my butt from behind…

… It was right after tentacles had burst out of the girl’s torso in the movie.

TENTACLES!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!

I practically climbed the nearest wall. Exactly like a terrified lizard, my nails digging into the plaster, my legs kicking, my blanket trailing behind.

Rui stared at me like I’d suddenly spoken fluent Martian.

Ume tilted her head and giggled behind her hand. “Oh, Susumu! Don’t be so silly! These effects are some of the worst I’ve ever seen. How could you be so scared of something like this?”

“I JUST TURNED INTO A MONSTER MYSELF!” The words tore out of my throat, hoarse and panicked.

“Ara?” Ume blinked innocently. “You weren’t anything like that. There are yokai like that, I admit. And honestly it’s even gorier when they—”

“KYAAAAAAAAAAA!!!”

I lost my grip and slammed back into my futon. With a squeak, I cocooned the blanket around me like I was a mummified corpse, my pinky fingers jammed back in my ears, my eyes squeezed shut… maybe forever. I was DONE.

After a while, one of them gently patted my back… softly, kindly. I couldn’t tell which one of them it was. Their hands were both small and warm.

Somehow, like that, I found sleep again.

…Is it dangerous to sleep with your fingers in your ears?

Probably.

But at least I wasn’t watching a movie filled with chest bursters and slimy tentacles.

Hands shook me violently just before noon.

“BAKA! Get up! That’s enough moping!” Rui barked like a drill sergeant. 

“UWA!” I yelped, jumping.

“Ume’s making lunch! I’d do it myself, but I suck at cooking and you’re kind of pissing me off.” She grated at me. 

I promptly mummified myself. This time she grabbed my blanket and sent me flying across the floor. 

“Don’t you do that! Get your ass up! Help her out some! You OWE her for feeding you, you bum!”

I sat up, woozy, my eyes burning. My futon was half-soaked from the hours I’d spent crying. Emotionally, crying helped… but physically, it destroyed me. My limbs felt like a wet towel someone had wrung out.

“You need to move past this sluggish blob phase, Susu! Ume-chan is making her special curry for us! If you want any of it, get up and help! If you don’t, I’ll lock you out on your balcony.” Rui continued with a savage light in her eyes.

“Eeeep!” I dragged myself upright and blurred to the kitchenette. She had me at curry, anyway.

Plus Ume was there.

She was wearing an apron.

It was a real apron. On her. In my home.

I remembered that I didn’t own an apron. I’d never really bothered. My meals were always so quick and simple, it seemed kind of pointless. She had really gone all out.

She looked exactly like the daydreams I used to have about living with Reiko-chan… Was she a mind-reader? Was I dreaming about Reiko in an apron like this?

With her hair loose and her posture focused, she looked like the perfect picture of a loving wife preparing lunch for her tired husband… with a side of pearly fangs poking around her plump lips.

She glanced toward me a few times, her cheeks pink from the stove’s warmth.

For just a moment… Reiko-chan’s form overlapped hers. Wearing the same apron. Projecting the same domestic warmth.

What are you…?

I smiled without meaning to, as I drifted into a fantasy world.

“Susu!” Reiko-chan’s voice echoed warmly in my mind… It was bright, energetic, and teasing.

Then reality punched me. At the same time, my daydream turned a little darker. Reiko dropkicked me out of the blue.

THWACK!

“WAHHHHHHH!!!!” I clutched my head.

“Stop daydreaming, BAKA! Get working!!!” Rui yelled at me.

“Oh, you’ve snapped out of it!” Ume beamed at me.

“I-I’ll help. Sorry I was… extremely useless. I let myself slip into old post trauma habits. Um… And thanks for making lunch,” I muttered, still shaking the dream off. “What can I do?”

“Wash your hands, BAKA!!!” screamed my drill sergeant. 

“I’m SORRY SIR!” I leapt to the sink and washed my hands vigorously.

“Good.” Rui nodded fiercely. I could practically see her smacking her palm with a baton.

“I don’t want any Susumu germs in my meal!” Rui barked.

“YES SIR!!!!” I dried my hands in a hurry and even inspected them and heaved a heavy sigh of relief.

I couldn’t help shooting her a glare.

She glared right back at me and smirked in a very threatening way.

I gave her a wan little smile.

“I need you to peel some potatoes, okay?” Ume asked in a tone people normally reserve for toddlers. “Can you manage that for me?” She deposited four nice potatoes and a peeler beside the sink.

What am I? Like four?

“Yes Ma’am.” I said while grumbling under my breath like a scolded little child as I peeled madly, filling the sink with bits of potato skin.

A little…

Ume abruptly hugged me from behind. “Susumu… you can’t stay stuck in this kind of a depression spiral,” she whispered against my shoulder. “By the way, you smell like moldy strawberries when you mope. Don’t inflict that on me, boyo.”

Her words were wise. But her breasts were firmly and fully pressed into my back.

That was far more effective motivation than her words.

“Didn’t that little peek earlier cheer you up even a tiny little bit?” she whispered in my ear, squishing even closer.

“K-KYAAAAA!” I eeped. The sound shot out of me involuntarily… very high-pitched, humiliating, and sounding extremely girly. 

Rui observed us like she was observing some rare zoo creature tapping her fingers in the crook of her elbow. It was hard to read her mind.

“Fufufu… so adorable. Irresistibly adorable,” Ume purred as she bit my ear.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I squeaked.

Beyond motivated, I squeaked the whole time while peeling.

“Right here!” Ume chimed, sliding the bag toward me. “Try not to carve away half the potato anymore, okay?” I realized that the potato I was holding was down to the size of a thumb. The sink was filled with white tarnishing peels.

Rui abruptly entered the kitchen, her eyes glinting. “Ehhh… a futon potato peeling potatoes….” She smirked. 

“He’s not a futon potato. He’s just in a nasty little funk. He’ll be fine soon.” Ume winked, giving me another hug from behind.

Rui’s eyes got dangerous. “Ume-chan, what exactly do you think you are doing to Susumu?”

“Cheering him up!” Ume flashed a fangy grin. “If you’re bothered by my methods, RuiRui, why don’t you try doing it yourself?”

“W-What?!” Rui sputtered, bright red.

“If you want to help out that much, RuiRui, there’s some tasks left. There’s something that I don’t think little Susumu can handle right now.” She extended an index and then pointed it at a big fat yellow onion sitting near where the potatoes were.

“I need this onion prepped...” Ume wagged her finger.

“NO!!! NOT THAT!” Rui bounced mournfully in place. “It’s the worst job! I’ll cry SO MUCH!”

“Hehehe… Susumu has cried enough today. You can handle it, right?” Ume moved to unwrap the meat. “Mmm… doesn’t it smell delicious? The blood is almost fresh. I had it butchered at the counter to make sure it was done right.”

I stared at Ume. She watched a cow get slaughtered this morning and she was smiling. I felt like I was going to blow away.

The meat was very raw. It oozed blood. The kitchen was suddenly filled with the smell of it. Ume inhaled the air deeply like she was smelling heaven.

“Oh yes. The blood. Even if it’s animal blood, it’s such a comforting scent,” she said with a wink. “Makes me want to put all my heart into my cooking!”

NOOOOOOO!!! Don’t be so moved that you’d tear out your heart and add that to our curry!

I wasn’t sure if she could survive doing that. I was kind of terrified and excited at the same time.

Ume licked her lips at me in a way that had me reacting.

The kitchen filled quickly with a rich aroma almost as soon as the meat hit the oiled pan. Ume added spices, ginger, chopped herbs, her hands moving with swift, confident precision. When she tossed the browned meat into the pot and dusted the remaining oil with flour, the familiar warmth of the aromas of curry started rising from the pan.

By the time she added the broth, the air smelled so divine I momentarily forgot all my troubles.

“Susu… Would you cut up the potatoes that you peeled for me? I’d like some nice sized squares.” Ume asked as she gently stirred the pot, humming softly. It was a creepy but somehow soothing melody. It was like a cross between a horror theme and a lullaby.

I quickly grabbed a knife and started slicing up what was left of the potatoes I peeled.

“No, no—bigger pieces,” Ume corrected. 

But, I can’t make them any bigger!!!

“Good job, RuiRui! When you’re done, slice these carrots. Neat little discs!”

The three of us moved around the kitchen comfortably, laughing, chopping, stirring, all doing our parts. For a few minutes… the sadness lifted. Just the scent of curry could do that.

“I already started the rice in your cooker earlier,” Ume said, humming as she stirred. “All that’s left is to let the flavors in the pot blend and the carrots need to soften just a tiny bit. So go relax! Shoo… shoo!” She waved a hand gently.

My heart thudded. She sparkled in that apron like some domestic goddess. She was so motherly. It made me wanna say…

Mommy! What’s for dinner?

“Susumuuuu~”

Suddenly Rui grabbed me by the hair and dragged me out of the kitchen.

“Yaiiiiii!!” I yelped, clawing at her hand for mercy.

In the living room, she jabbed a finger toward the futon. “Don’t sleep. AIR YOUR MATRESS OUT. It smells TOO MUCH LIKE YOU. You don’t air your futon enough!” she chastised me.

Somehow, this was working for me too.

“O-okay! Yes, ma… ma’am!” I bowed and hoisted the heavy futon over my shoulder.

Rui opened the sliding door for me, being unexpectedly helpful. We hung the futon over the balcony rail together. The storm-washed breeze hit my face. It was kind of refreshing.

Did Ume manage to turn me into a vampire yet?

Rui leaned beside me, looking troubled.

“You see… I want you in good spirits tonight,” she muttered, fidgeting. “I thought about what might… help you.” She avoided my eyes. “And please stop staring at Ume. Yes, her breasts are absolutely amazing. Just—whatever, forget I said that. This doesn’t mean anything, okay?!”

I blinked.

Before I could respond…

CHUUUUUUU.

Rui leaned forward on the rail and kissed me full on the lips.

I froze.

My legs buckled.

I threw my arms around her. It was ONLY to keep her from falling off the balcony. That was the only reason. Obviously. She was looking kind of… unsteady.

I noticed that she was still wearing my t-shirt.

Was she wearing panties under it… or my…?

I immediately regretted wondering. Too much thinking about that would…

The kiss deepened. My eyes drifted closed. The world melted away. It felt like I was falling into a vast, warm void.

There was just her.

Just her mouth.

Just the storm-washed wind whipping around us.

And the feeling that something inside me… was finally shifting.

We sat around the low table in my living room. The smells of curry drifted through the air… rich, warm, comforting… making the apartment feel more alive than it had in years. Maybe ever. I gazed at the two girls across from me, and for the first time in what felt like my entire adulthood, I silently thanked the kami for letting me have such wonderful friends. True ones. The kind who sat with you, cooked with you, yelled at you, hugged you, and dragged you bodily back from the brink of despair.

It felt… like I was in a genuine loving family.

Far more than the one I’d grown up in. My childhood had always been so silent. My mother clattering in the kitchen, never looking for any help. My father silently reading the newspaper, the sound of utensils echoing in the still air like warnings. No siblings. No chatter. No warmth. No laughter.

Reiko-chan had been the explosion of color that cracked that world open.

And now… these two girls were filling the room with something I’d almost forgotten existed.

The television murmured in the background. Whatever was playing filled the room with bright music. We supplied plenty of cheerful chatter. Ume ladled curry onto our plates, each portion a glistening mound of golden sauce poured over previously distributed steaming rice. Each rice grain was perfectly polished. The meat shimmered with its semi-fatty sheen. The vegetables… except for mine… were perfectly cut. Everything glowed like jewels in the golden sauce.

SPLASH

…

With a flourish, Ume set the ladle down and clapped her hands together, bowing in her seat with an adorable little sparkle.

“Please enjoy! I hope you love this curry! All my love is in it!”

I believed her completely, my heart going out to her. The aroma alone made my mouth water. Without hesitation, I scooped a massive spoonful of curry into my mouth.

The moment it hit my tongue, tears spilled from my eyes.

……

My eyes widened wildly. Not from the flavor. It wasn’t good or bad…

Rui, who had just taken her first bite, was staring at me with the exact same expression.

Bulging eyes, a frozen posture and trembling lips.

Ume beamed at both of us like a proud mother watching her children enjoying her cooking.

I shoveled another spoonful into my mouth, tears streaming harder down my cheeks.

Rui looked away, face scrunched with emotion. My father had never smiled during meals, and my mother had never joined us, like she was from a Samurai family back in the Edo era.

I’d never known what it was like to eat a meal, surrounded by warm voices. But this… this humble tiny apartment filled with so many giggles, so much clattering… it was all so new it made my heart feel too big for my chest to contain.

Ume glanced sweetly at Rui, her smile glowing.

And Rui, fidgeting, swallowing hard, suddenly dug in like a starving wolf, shoveling curry into her mouth with ferocious enthusiasm.

Terrible curry…

Worst I ever tasted yet…

Still I take each bite.

Because Ume’s smile was so warm, so proud, so full of “I put my heart into this,” that I would never tell her. And from the look in Rui’s eyes… shiny with unshed tears and forced determination… She felt exactly the same.

Together, we cried harder. Together, we raced to finish our plates like two bakas competing in a silent battle of loyalty. The curry was truly awful. Absolutely catastrophic in terms of flavor.

But it was made with love.

This magical, terrible, wonderful curry…

Thank you so much, Ume-chan.

And Reiko-chan… thank you, too.