Shinrabansho: Myriad Souls

I had challenged my father with pure unhinged masculine defiance expressed in a dance filled with but with EXTRA pelvic thrusts. He was merely annoyed.

Being totally naked only amplified my dance this time.

Rui’s face drained of color, becoming paper white. Her eyes widened until they were teacup-sized.

“NOOOOOOO! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO AN INNOCENT PURE GIRL?!” she shrieked, scrambling behind Natalia’s desk like a terrified alley cat. “YOU SICK CREATURE!”

“Hmmm… interesting moves,” Natalia-sama murmured, tapping her lip thoughtfully. “Very expressive.”

Her calm tone made me freeze. I snatched the blanket and cocooned myself inside it, curling into a grey orb. I became… a rock. A shame rock.

“Well then… he’s clearly not a noh-nuts,” Natalia-sama chuckled. “Nor is he made of pure stone. Don’t be so insulting towards him, Rui-chan.”

“He is CLEARLY—!” Rui howled, “—THE ONLY WAY I CAN COPE WITH HIM IS TO CALL HIM THAT NAME. DAMN IT! HE SHOVED HIS BALLS IN MY FACE!! I DIDN’T ASK FOR THAT!! NOOOOOO!”

“Oh my,” Natalia said. “Alright, that’s enough. Rui, you are an adult. We all know you don’t like male genitalia.”

My mind flashed back to her office door… those crudely drawn penises with angry red Xs through them, flames beneath. Early evidence of her hatred for men.

Rui groaned. “Daddy would have finished this case already…”

Natalia stepped forward, voice softening. “Exactly. If you honor your family name, you must see every case through. No matter how annoying the client.”

Rui grumbled, climbing out from behind the desk. “Fine. But, Susumu! Don’t you EVER do that again!”

“And YOU never call me that name again, ONI!” I said from beneath my blanket.

Natalia clapped her hands once. “Excellent. Terms of cooperation have been established.”

She continued, “Now listen. Neither of you stand a chance against Noh-face as you are. So here is my solution: I am going to strengthen Susumu’s spiritual foundation. As a yokai, he has the potential. Let’s build on it.”

“EHHHHHHH?!” My noh-jaw dropped. “You want me to FIGHT it?!”

“Probably, yes,” Rui said with a smirk.

“No way! Fighting is absolutely TABOO! I totally SUCK AT IT! I only like video game fighting!”

“Too late!” Rui chirped.

When I finally put on the repaired bodysuit, Rui was still crouched by the desk like a traumatized squirrel. I tested the seat of my pants… there was no tearing. Natalia had done good work.

“You look positively heroic, Susumu-san!” Natalia beamed. “Helmet on. We must go to a property nearby with more room.”

I posed dramatically. My cape fluttered.

Rui sighed like she regretted every choice in life that led her here.

“What can you do for me, Natalia-sama?” I asked as Rui tossed me my helmet. “You’re… a clothier, right?”

“She’s a millennia-old kitsune,” Rui said dryly. “She could destroy the Noh-face herself, but she has a business to run.”

“You’re a fox?!” I gasped. “I’ll believe it when I see it!”

“Oh, you will,” Natalia-sama chuckled. “When I use my abilities, my true nature will show. Just as your noh-face nature shows when you call upon yours.”

She beckoned us with an elegant flick of her wrist.

We descended to the lobby.

People were staring. Again.

A woman walked up behind me and cheekily flipped my cloak. “Let’s see if… —oh! Perfect!” She grinned.

My face burned beneath my helmet.

“It’s an advertising campaign! Natalia, you genius!” she exclaimed. “We expected nothing less!”

Customers gathered around, clapping.

Natalia-sama smiled serenely. “It may only be effective today, but someday perhaps I’ll ask you to parade for me again, Susumu-san.”

What they were all looking at…

was the enormous, perfectly centered advertisement patch plastered across my butt.

I was a walking billboard.

An ambulatory marketing tool.

A sentai-branded fashion butt-sign.

Rui burst into laughter. Others joined.

“Do a sentai pose!” someone shouted.

I abandoned my pride entirely. I posed. I danced. I even raised my butt like a heroic peach offering.

“That’s PERFECT!” Natalia cheered. “Do that all day! It’ll be wildly effective with women! That butt will bring me more business than I’ve had all year!”

I had never wanted to die more.