My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2192: Chapter 2025: Lovesick Longing

Perhaps love truly is like a fleeting dream, paper kites flying about, yet the person is nowhere to be seen. When will we reunite at the head of the boat to listen to the rain and sleep, only wishing to run aground for you.

Old Master Zhang really never thought that his own son would come to him for help again because of this matter today. So many years have passed, and he has never humbled himself like this to ask for help. This is the first time, and this time it’s for that so-called wife of his. Clearly, that woman doesn’t want him anymore, so why does he keep using her to hurt me repeatedly? Does my own son really think so little of me as his father? I have already sacrificed so much for him, yet I can’t even get a word of thanks in return, only repetitive hurt. What sins did I commit in my past life to have such a son repay me in this way, tormenting me so cruelly in this life.

”Do you know how much it pains me inside to hear you say these words today? He has treated you like that, yet you still treat her this way. I’ve been so good to you, why can’t you just properly appreciate your own father? Don’t you know that every decision you make causes immense suffering to those who care about and love you? He clearly has no feelings for you anymore, yet you are so deeply persistent. What else are you willing to do for her?”

Zhang Zhentian knew that his father would definitely not agree to help him so easily this time, so he came prepared. He was determined to make his father willingly help him without expecting anything in return. However, doing so made him feel even more guilty towards his father.

”Dad, you know in your heart too that feelings cannot be forced, just like how you gave up so much back then to be with my mom. Now, I too am willing to give up everything for the one I love. He once sacrificed so much for me, how can I abandon her just like that? I admit at that time I was confused by a lie and abandoned her, but I didn’t expect this outcome. I didn’t expect that after all these years, he still won’t forgive me.”

”Since others won’t forgive you, why must you persistently cling to them shamelessly? Don’t you know this only makes you seem like a person without boundaries? Once you’ve made a decision, don’t think about regretting it later. If you’re going to regret it later, then don’t do it in the first place. Every time you do something, you are so reckless, but after it’s done, you think about regretting it. Do you really believe there are so many remedies for regret in this world? Do you really believe there are so many people willing to let you hurt them over and over again and forgive you again and again? Others are not Saints; they just hope you’ll always treat them well. Even if your love for them isn’t the most sincere, at least put on a good front, but you don’t even bother doing that. Do you think you’re being fair to those who care about you?”

”I know my decision today has caused them pain, but I have no choice. Hasn’t everybody been selfish for the sake of their love? I just want to be with the one I love. I mercilessly abandoned him in the past, and only after abandoning him did I realize I couldn’t live without him. But out of pride, I didn’t dare to ask him back. As time passed, I slowly understood that I couldn’t truly let him go. He was so pained by what happened. Why give up a lifetime of love just for a small matter on my part?”

Old Master Zhang was truly at a loss with his son. The one who insisted on the breakup was him, and now the one who wants that person back is also him. What does he ultimately want his father to do? Because many things cannot be done the way he wants, yet for him, I am willing to do it without hesitation. But this time, should they help him again? Will it result in being hurt once more?

”I really don’t know how to help you with this because I can’t be sure that you won’t repeat what you did before, hurting our trust in you after I help you. Everyone else can choose to overlook your past mistakes, but I cannot, because I’m the one who raised you to be this way, who let you make so many mistakes, one after another, yet you still haven’t understood. Coming to ask me for help just proves you can’t let go of him, not that you truly realize your mistake. Do you know how painful it is for a father when his son repeatedly begs because of a woman? Have you ever considered my feelings in this? Why are you so selfish towards me, your father?”

”Dad, I’m sorry, I really don’t know what else to do. I just want to continue my life with her. Maybe my decision surprises you all, but it’s impossible for me to give her up. If I did, I’d have no desire left in life. Without her, what meaning is there in living? Without her, I might as well not live; that way, neither of our hearts would suffer, right? I’ve considered many ways; I just want to be with him. But I found out that being with him is not easy—it involves overcoming numerous difficulties. Although we overcame all the challenges to be together, in the end, just because of a little lie, I abandoned him. How much pain did that cause him back then?”

”Did you ever think about how I, your father, felt each time you did something like this? You always focus on her feelings, but what do I mean to you, your father? I just hope you can consider things from my perspective and be mindful of my feelings. But for this matter, I will never help you, even if you kneel and beg me today. You need to learn to deal with your mistakes and solve them on your own; I cannot spend my whole life helping you, nor do I have the energy to help with these things!”

Endless longing, thirty years turned my hair white. Whenever I look back from heights, tears of parting freeze, longing not easily dreamed, appearing only by chance!