My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2154: Chapter 1987: Buried (Part 1)

It’s not that I don’t feel anything for you, but you personally buried the feelings I had for you.

”We are all adults now, and you should understand things that many children cannot. Often, respecting the deceased is a basic ethical principle. You know, there’s no saving them now. If you forcefully keep them in this world, you will only make them suffer. Do you understand? Being filled with tubes, depending on a ventilator—it’s really painful not to be able to move, relying entirely on those machines to provide vital signs. If you ever lose those machines, it would drive you mad. You probably never considered how your grandfather felt. You’re only thinking of your own one-sided wishes.”

”Yichen, you’re speaking with ease because this isn’t happening to you. If one day your grandfather ends up like mine, filled with tubes and on a ventilator to maintain life, would you still be this at ease? Could you still stand here and say these words without a care? Honestly, you should sometimes put yourself in my shoes. Every time you say these words to me, it makes me feel terrible inside. I watch my grandfather lying there helplessly, and I can’t do anything. I wish it were me lying there. Seeing my grandfather restricted by those machines, unable to move—do you understand how uncomfortable that makes me feel?” Lei Jian said to Zhang Yichen, ”I know we are close like brothers, even if we don’t share the bond of blood. But our relationship isn’t any less than that of real brothers. Do you understand? I don’t know if you can empathize with my feelings. But my heart is truly uneasy. If a dear relative were to suddenly leave me, I could never accept it!”

Zhang Yichen let out a sigh. He realized his brother was right. If it were his grandfather lying there, relying on a ventilator to live, his heart wouldn’t feel at ease either. His grandfather had always been good to him, even if he had hit him once. Yet he never sought to harm him and supported him unconditionally in all his decisions. But if one day his grandfather were to leave, what choice would he have? He couldn’t imagine life without his grandfather, who he valued more than his own parents. His grandpa had been his companion for more than ten years, watching him grow up and providing him with everything he needed. His grandpa had been his mentor, shaping him into who he was today. He couldn’t stand to let anything harm his grandfather, even a little. Though his grandpa was in his nineties, he hoped he could live safely past a hundred. Watching his grandfather live on would only bring him immense joy, without a trace of sadness. Yet he feared the arrival of that day, and if it came, how would he cope?

”Actually, don’t think I’m being unsympathetic, standing here talking. I often worry myself, afraid of my grandfather ending up like yours, lying there immobile. I dread that day coming, which is why I want to comfort you. I know if the one lying here were my grandfather, my feelings would only be worse than yours because my grandfather has been even better to me. Do you know what it means for a relative to leave? It means they’re reborn in another world, freeing them from their pain-ridden existence here, unable to live happily anymore. Perhaps only leaving is a release for them. In another world, they won’t suffer anymore and can live happily. But for those left in this world, it’s a torment. Watching their loved ones leave, helpless, it’s truly frustrating! We should learn to grow ourselves—without experiencing hardships, how can we see a rainbow? If we don’t strive to get through difficult situations on our own, how can we grow? I know the ending is already set, but when that day comes, no one can easily accept it. I also know what kind of person your grandfather is. You should understand that after living with your mother’s kidney for so many years, he has had it tough. Sometimes, you need to see it from another perspective. For your grandfather, leaving now wouldn’t make him regretful. Having lived this long with his daughter’s kidney—he’s never known whose it is. Don’t you think your grandfather should feel joy in his heart for receiving the kidney and living many more years to see his grandson grow up? Wouldn’t he be content in his heart?”

”Alright, I know what to do now. Maybe after some time, my mother will come to terms with these things. Time is the best healer. I still can’t give you a definitive answer now, as I can’t accept seeing my grandfather this way yet. Seeing him like that makes it impossible for me to live happily. Once my mood stabilizes, I’ll come to find you. Thank you for coming here today to comfort me. You’ve helped me understand that the ending was always predetermined, and I have no way to change it. I can’t very well give my grandfather a second Christmas; he’s already taken my mother’s kidney. If he knew this, how painful it would be for him to realize he’s been living on his daughter’s kidney all along. To him, this would be a lifelong hurt. If he knew, he would leave this world with regret and never find peace...”

”I’m glad you understand. Once you see this clearly, you won’t be saddened by anything anymore. You’ll become unbreakable. I won’t say much more here—my wife is expecting, and I need to go take care of her. Call me if you need anything; I’ll come to see you soon!”

Even though I know, no matter how much I love you, I can never compare to him, I also know that the tears you shed for him are filled with happiness. Even so, I still refuse to give up.