My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2079: Chapter 1912: Resolving to Act

As long as one sets their mind to do something, one should not give up easily.

When Xia Jing heard the tone with which her husband spoke to her, she knew that her actions had completely enraged him. Her husband was also wondering why she kept doing this; step by step driving every person who loved her to a dead end, forcing everyone who loved her completely away from her. What kind of benefit could she gain from this? In the end, she’s the one left in anguish, yet she could never learn to bow her head. She abandoned all dignity and principles for a man, but why, for the man before her now, does nothing seem possible?

To Zhang Zhengping, every time he hears his wife speaking in front of him about how much she loves that man, he feels an unnamable fire rising within him. He wants to unleash this fire on his wife, but he knows he can’t. If he did, he’d be no better than a beast. Yet every time he hears about these matters, his heart fills with rage. He’s unwilling to accept that after all these years of dedication, he gains nothing. He gave all his genuine feelings, only to be used by her in the end.

Sometimes he really wonders just what he means in his wife’s eyes. Is a little compliance from her so impossible? Must she push him step by step to a dead end to be satisfied, delighted, happy?

Why can’t human hearts be exchanged? How much more must he give to restore everything to its original state? He just wishes to know her heart before everyone else recognizes her, not just fill her void. If in this lifetime all he gets is her void, turning him into a walking corpse, why not let her go to find the love she truly wants? Yet if he did, where would the family interests be? Where would the hundred-year reputation his father built go? Why must he face such a choice? He really doesn’t desire much. Just to keep the one he loves close by would be enough. But why does fate always play such cruel jokes on him time and again?

Others might see these jokes as trivial and insignificant, but to him, they are unforgettable pain. The woman he desires stands before him, yet he cannot have her, forced only to watch as she thinks of and speaks of another man, who is never him. How is this fair to him? Could fate not be a bit fair, even just for a moment? At least let him have a place in her heart.

Hatred often accumulates bit by bit like this, Zhang Zhentian. Now he hates fate, everyone who treats her poorly. He doesn’t know what he should do. Once, he sacrificed his entire family for a woman, and in the end, the one she loves isn’t him. How ironic when you think about it. Why has he never earned anyone’s genuine feelings despite so many years?

”Xia Jing, Xia Jing, I don’t want to ask anything. I just want to ask you one thing, have you really never loved me even a little over all these years? Have you never felt moved at all by me? I’ve given so much for you, yet you haven’t felt even a tiny bit of emotion for me? Do you realize how heart-wrenching your words are for me? I really don’t ask much, already so little; just that in my eyes you stay by my side, it wouldn’t matter how much grievance I had to endure. I abandoned everything in the world for you, but why must you hit me with such a heavy blow? What am I to you? Not even a Servant?

Even a stranger would feel some gratitude upon seeing how much I sacrificed for them. But why in your eyes do I see nothing of your feelings, only your disdain? In your heart, am I really so much less than her? You could forsake everything, even your life for her, but not for me. You push me to dead ends repeatedly, leaving me no way out, while you never force him. Only hoping he lives happily and joyfully. What about me? Must I bear all the scars and pain in the middle? I’m not a Saint, I wish for my wife’s love and care too, but you’ve never given me that. Even if you lay beside me all these years and think of someone else, do you know the blow that is to me?

”Actually, I really want to tell you to let go. Why go through so much for me? I don’t ignore how much you sacrifice, but I don’t know how to talk to you. Everyone has inner torment, do you know? Mine is great. I’m so pained. What I wish for isn’t much either, just a simple life. But what have you given me over these years? A simple, ordinary life? Wandering the world with you filled my days, but it wasn’t happiness. Only time spent with him is when I’m truly joyful, happy, and the most blissful moment. Do you know? Being with him, I constantly show genuine smiles, but I never have with you!”

”So in your heart, I’m so ignorant, just a worthless fool. But do you know? How many changes I’ve made for you, time after time, just to please you. I’ve given up everything I loved, only returning your distrust. No matter what I do, I’ll never compare to him in your eyes. Why then did you entice me in the first place? If you never loved me, why choose to be with me, then deliver such deep blows that leave my life bereft of happiness again? Is this what you see and think inside?

I really can’t believe this!”

There are too many things impossible to believe, causing everyone to reject them, leading to the outcome we have now!