My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2071: Chapter 1904: The Last Remaining Pride

I know that when you let go of that last shred of pride in your heart, our answer will never be revealed.

Zhang Zhentian couldn’t understand what his wife was incapable of doing now. A fine person was on the brink of losing her sanity; for the sake of an old flame, she ended up hurting her own family to such an extent. He didn’t know how to describe his wife, but he knew that he, too, was once such a person. For his wife, he could disregard even his family, but in the end, reality gave him a harsh slap. No matter how much he gave, in his 70 years he would never receive the best response, because in the eyes of the one he loved, that person wasn’t him. He used him again and again, just to make him love him unconditionally.

For Xia Ji, Xia Jing felt that everything she had done completely hurt her husband. No matter what decision her husband made, he could only accept it willingly. There were many things he could do nothing about, and he knew that everything was the result of his own actions. Who could he blame? After all, everything would only bring him deeper pain. But if his actions once again dealt a heavy blow to his family, he was unwilling in his heart.

Everyone makes mistakes. The terrifying thing is not making mistakes often, but not knowing how to repent, repeatedly making mistakes and hurting those who love them the most. That is the scariest thing. How many mistakes must one make in this lifetime to realize how much they have hurt the ones who loved them most, to understand repentance, to account for all the wrongdoings? How many times in life, he made a decision that ultimately only hurt his family, while those who didn’t care about him would never allow him to be hurt.

Now, slowly, he’s beginning to understand how wrong those actions were in the past. He hurt the one who loved him the most, and the one he loved left him for that reason. He doesn’t know what kind of things he can do for the rest of his life, only that he can never turn back. Repeated blows have finally caused him irreparable harm.

”Zhentian, I know that now no matter what I say, it won’t help, it has caused great emotional damage, but please believe me, I mean no harm. All I wanted was a peaceful life. Every decision I made hurt you, and this is my life. But do you know? I also wanted to stay by your side. Everyone makes mistakes, and I made so many mistakes. You’ve chosen to forgive me time and again. Do you think my heart is truly unmoved? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve done too much, and in the end, I’ve become numb!

Please don’t let me tell you I’m sorry anymore. I know your heart has completely rejected me. You no longer know which words of mine are true or false. I understand that feeling, year after year disappointed by the one you love the most, only to be kept in the dark. That feeling is really unbearable. So no matter what decision you make about me, no matter what you say to me, I won’t blame you. All this is because I destroyed the happiness I could have had. I don’t know why I made such a decision in the first place, hurting you and the ones who love me the most. Everything I’ve done has never been right. Each mistake I’ve made only hurt you all!

I’ve never regretted anything so much before. This is the most regrettable thing in my life because I don’t know whether I was right or wrong. I have no way to turn back now. Time has ravaged me beyond repair, realizing that it’s slipping away. I now have no way to go back!

Thank you for your tolerance, but in the end, I still disappointed your perfect expectations of me. I’m sorry. This is the last time I’ll say sorry in my life. I don’t know where else I might see you in the future. Even if you don’t say, if you don’t respond in any way, I will choose to leave you. I won’t live with you anymore because my presence has only brought you endless pain, never any comfort!

Your destiny could have granted you a more perfect and happier life, but unfortunately, you met me. My presence disrupted your entire life plan. I’m sorry. I truly regretted it, over and over. All I wanted was to stay by your side. But why, in the end, repeatedly inflicting wounds on you over these many years? Although I’ve always waited for my first love to return to me, I also understood that it was nothing more than a vain illusion. Only you appeared by my side time and again, protecting me, comforting me, giving me happiness!”

”Don’t you think saying such things now is ridiculous? I was so sincere to you, yet you chose to hurt me this way. What right or reason do you have to say these things to me now? In your eyes, what kind of man am I? Can I not give you any happiness and joy?

All these years with me, whether it was your heartfelt laughter or your forced smiles, I was still very happy. Just seeing you smile, however reluctantly, makes me feel like the happiest man in the world. But why do you have to slap me like this? In your eyes, what do I mean to you? Can’t you give me a little happiness, a little comfort? Must you make things so absolute that there’s no way back?

I have to admit that you have completely lost your senses now. You are no longer the Xia Jing I used to know. Every action you take has no basis at all. You’re just blindly following your heart without even knowing what you really want. You only know your heart longs for someone, and for him, you can do anything, even at the cost of your life. But do you know that your actions have completely shattered my sincere feelings for you? How could you bear to hurt me?”

Forgive my few words, you need an outsider more than anything. Perhaps I was weak, thinking that by letting things go as they are, I could wait for you to turn back!