My Alleged Husband

”Child, I know now that we have no way of clarifying things, so I hope you can think about this—if you really are willing to let us return to your side to take care of you, rest assured, once we return this time, we will absolutely not abandon you so easily again because in our hearts, you will always be our son. We couldn’t possibly abandon you over something trivial. We have made too many mistakes, and now I am not even sure what attitude I should use to face you. I have no face to confront you. The errors your father and mother discovered were truly monstrous.

If it hadn’t been for my abandonment of you, how could you have endured so much pain, silently bearing all the mockery alone? All of it was harm brought to you by your father and mother. If you don’t forgive us, we have nothing more to say. But please know, no matter when or where, your father and mother always keep you in the deepest part of our hearts because you are our son. As parents, it’s impossible not to love our own son. Even if we have done something wrong, I can’t bear to hurt my son. I know there are some things that can’t really be explained in a few words, but I also hope you know, besides your grandfather in this world, you also have your father and mother who love you. If someone else says you are a child without parents, you can openly tell them, ’My parents abandoned me!’

You are not a child without parents. If anyone dares to say so again, you can tell us, and we will definitely stand up for you. But do you realize? If you keep enduring, it will only make us parents feel that the mistakes we made in the past are unforgivable. The things we did that embarrassed you might be a pain we can never mend in this lifetime, but you also hope that we can be by your side. This is a luxury every child craves from their family, but we failed to meet this yearning and instead hurt you over and over again, making you face others’ mockery repeatedly. We as parents have truly failed tremendously. I wish time could flow backward. If time could reverse, how happy I would be. If time could return to twenty years ago, I would definitely not abandon my son. I would strive with my life to stay at home, accompany you, let you never leave us, let you enjoy a lifetime of parental love that others might never experience. But our decisions back then have made us what we are today, and all of this is only because we parents were too greedy. Having already had a family, why did we think of wandering away? Wander away, why choose to abandon our child? We really didn’t know whether we were crazy when we decided that. I hope you can truly forgive us and let us stay by your side. If you feel embarrassed by this decision, you can tell us. We will definitely not force you. If you feel uncomfortable having us live with you, you can tell me. I can come over during the day to be with you and return to my own place at night. I won’t disturb any of your work, I only hope that you will give me a chance to make amends. My son, I’m begging you!”

”There’s no need to say that. Actually, what you yourself said is right; our issues have become so entangled, and since they’re so entangled, why continue to dwell on these issues? I can’t immediately give you an answer on whether I will forgive you, but the harm you caused will truly never be forgotten in my lifetime. Maybe one day I’ll easily consider these things as never having happened, but not now, because this matter has taken deep root in my heart, and I’m really suffering from the damage you inflicted. I have endured too much torment and guilt. I don’t know what attitude I should use to face you, nor do I know how to address you. Before, I chose to forgive you, but you chose to hurt me over and over again. In your eyes, you never considered what it felt like to be me, your son. Why should I change my attitude towards you now?”

”Just think it over. If you truly are willing to forgive us as your parents, then send us a message. We will definitely return to your side and take care of you for a lifetime. We will definitely make amends for the damage over the years. But please believe us, this time we are not making an idle promise just to pacify you but to genuinely make amends. I hope you know the mistakes I have made. One day, I will certainly remedy them through my own efforts. If it turns out to be something I cannot mend, then I am willing to dedicate my life to you. I am willing to use my life to pamper you, to let you know how much I love you. I will let everyone know that I have a son, and this son is the greatest pride of my life because I abandoned him, yet he never blamed me. I’ll let everyone know how impressive my son is, that without his own parents, he still achieved the peak of life that others never reach.”

”Stop saying that. Whether I believe it is one thing, I might not believe even if you said it. But please remember well what you said today because what you said directly concerns whether we can return to our past harmonious life. If you are deceiving me again this time, then in my lifetime, I will never give you another chance, and don’t expect to ever step through the family door again. I don’t want to see an outcome like today again, nor do I want to continue to argue with you, but I hope you yourselves realize the consequences of the actions you once took, no matter how impressive you once were, you can’t escape the arrangements of fate...”