My Alleged Husband

Chapter 609: Chapter 588 It turns out to be like this_1

Chen Gang had finally understood, after listening to Ran Zhihan’s words to him, why he had never been able to stay with the woman he loved most for a lifetime. Why, no matter how much he committed, he could never see his true love for her through his eyes. It turned out the real problem was right here. If he had not used her that day he chose to return to the country, if he had not harbored ulterior motives but sincerely wished her well, would the outcome have been different?

Or if he hadn’t felt too inferior to deserve her back in school, choosing instead to go abroad for further studies, would he not have lost the chance to pursue her? Would he not have let the woman he loved most leave his side and forever lost any way to win her back? All of this, it turned out, was really his fault.

Since he had already made these mistakes, what right did he have to blame anyone but himself? All he could do now was to deeply wish them well. And yet, he could not reconcile himself to having waited all these years just for a warm glance from him, for an embrace that he could savor for a lifetime, only to have his actions disrupt that delicate balance.

No matter what mistakes he had made, in his heart he had always truly wanted to be with her. This love had never wavered; all he wanted was to spend a lifetime with her. But why did it end up like this? Why did he never receive the best kind of love, no matter how much he gave? Why couldn’t he make the woman he loved most truly love him back, just once?

”Actually, I really wanted to ask you a question. What do I have to do for you to truly love me once? What must I do for you to regain the trust you once had in me? Do I really need to step aside and hand you over to that man? Then must I watch you leap into the fire pit again while I stand by helplessly, unable to do anything?

You’ll never understand the feeling of helplessness when the woman you love most is right beside you, when you could just reach out and hold her in your arms, yet you’re powerless to keep her there. Do you know how miserable that helplessness feels?

Actually, I once thought about giving up all my dreams for you, staying in the country for you, swearing I would never go abroad. But I felt unworthy because you were so perfect in my heart. How could I easily deserve you?

Perhaps it was my own confusion, my failure to ever clear up what I really wanted, that brought us to this point. Sometimes, my heart really aches, and I’m not sure what kind of life I truly desire. All I know is I must be the most perfect man in the world to take care of you because only then can I be worthy of you.”

”In fact, I never felt you were unworthy of me. I just couldn’t understand why you would choose to go abroad. If you hadn’t made that choice, none of this would have been necessary. It’s all a consequence of your own actions—whom else can you blame? Everyone must bear the consequences of their actions in life because every person is responsible for the outcomes they create, right?

If you hadn’t left for abroad, maybe I really would have chosen to be with you. After all, you were the most endearing boy in school, always bright and sunny, and you charmed everyone. I was truly moved by you and constantly paid attention to everything you did because I wanted to be with you. But I never found a way to tell you I liked you, because I didn’t know if I could ever be good enough for you. Maybe we were just never destined to be.”

You were afraid you couldn’t live up to me, so you chose to study abroad, while I feared unworthiness and never confessed my feelings. This is why we missed each other, and who can we blame for the situation we’re in now? It’s just the outcome that fate has written for us; we can never defy fate. Fate has decided, meddling in our lives, dictating who we can love. If you did evil in your past life, then you can’t get what you want in this life. But if you did something good, fate will look after you. It seems I must have done something wrong in a past life, losing my first love. But I also thank the heavens for giving me another chance to find the happiest destination in my life!”

”It seems that all these mistakes really are my own, and I truly regret it now. What on earth was I leaving you for? What for did I go abroad to study—was education really that important? I’ve finally realized that none of that mattered. What’s important is that I can be with you, that I can spend my life with the person I love most, never to be parted.”

”It’s good that you understand this principle now. Since you’ve understood, you should know what to do next. Stop threatening me and go live the life that belongs to you!

You had a more perfect life to live. Why did you choose to not live it and disturb mine instead? You’ve disrupted my life. Are you really happy about it? Do you really have the heart to watch the woman you love most be sad and troubled all her life because of you?

I believe you wouldn’t want such a thing to happen to us. You love me so much; how could you bear to see the person you love most suffer your whole life? So I beg you not to appear in my life again. Let me live the life I want in peace and I hope you too can live happily. Only then will I not feel so heartbroken.”

Chen Gang realized that the woman he loved was making a lot of sense. Hadn’t he done all this so she could live a happy life? If she could live happily, why should he prevent her from having a happy life?