My Alleged Husband

Chapter 491: Chapter 470 Heartbroken!_1

”Child, I know that even though you are comforting Grandpa with your words, your heart is still in pain. How could you not be? He is your biological father, after all, and the hurt he has caused you is in no way inferior to what he’s done to Grandpa. In fact, I believe you share the same doubts in your heart as I do: Why did my own parents leave me? Why were they so heartless as to abandon me over and over again? Do I really mean so little in my parents’ hearts? Do they truly not care about me at all? All the questions in your heart, Grandpa had them once too, but gradually, I no longer entertain these empty self-questionings, because I’ve realized that none of these musings can bring anything back to me. No matter how much I reflect on my actions, none of it will return to me, because no one will believe in me. And if no one believes, then why bother with these unnecessary justifications? Everyone’s inner thoughts are different; some can live their lives happy and carefree, without worries all their lifetime, but some always live on the edge of suffering. They don’t have joy, their hearts are filled with darkness because they lack happiness inside. When you slowly come to understand many things, you’ll realize that all this can be left uncared for; no one lives or dies over losing someone, they can still lead a carefree and happy life even after losing someone. It’s those who can’t let go, the ones who either abandon others or are abandoned, that can’t move on! The most important thing in life is to learn how to grow. As long as you’ve learned how to grow, what else is there to be afraid of? Even if no one wants to come back to you in the end, you still have everything that you’ve worked hard for. Don’t bother with those who don’t care about you. It only makes you tired emotionally, and it wears down those around you. Don’t keep hurting the people who care about you over those who are not worth it. It’s not worth it!”

”Grandpa, you’re right. I’ve been through all of that, and I also know what I should do, but I can never let go of all these things. On one hand, there’s my biological mother, and on the other, my biological father. The pain they’ve inflicted on me, how can I forget in my lifetime how I held them in such high regard, cared for them so much, yet they hurt me like this? Am I just a disposable item to them that they could abandon so casually? Even if I were just an item, having gone through the trouble of giving birth to me, they should feel some attachment. When they abandoned me, they didn’t even blink. How much pain I felt in my heart, who would understand? Everyone thinks I’m being selfish, turning my own parents away, not letting them come home. But who knows the pain in my heart? Maybe some people don’t think it’s all that important, but to me, it’s extremely crucial. I can’t accept that my parents would abandon their son, whom they struggled to bring into this world, just for their personal freedom. I don’t know why they had me in the first place, whether it was to carry on the Zhang family lineage or for some other reason. Do they really value their freedom that much to abandon their own child? If that’s the case, why bother bringing me into this world at all? At the same time, I’m also grateful to them. If they hadn’t brought me into this world and abandoned me, how would I have achieved what I have today? Although every day of my childhood was extremely hard, spent in constant training, my life has always been joyful because I have the purest feelings in the world—the purest familial love from Grandpa. You’ve given me so much, Grandpa. It’s thanks to you that I have my achievements today. All this has nothing to do with my mom and dad. I won’t be grateful to them for these things, because they don’t deserve it. Since they decided to abandon me, they should not expect to come back into my life ever again. I don’t have such parents. I once gave them a chance to start over. I allowed them to come back home to spend the happiest time together, but they gave up that chance themselves. If they don’t have us in their hearts, why force them to stay? Wouldn’t that just make them suffer? If they want to wander the world, let them be. They are used to a life of drifting and don’t want to stay at home. In that case, why should I make things difficult for everyone? Grandpa, I know sometimes my decisions might seem excessive, but I hope you can understand my feelings. I can’t forgive them anymore; the pain they caused this time is too much. I can’t forget it for the rest of my life. Yet, I always try to suppress my hate and forgive them; they just keep hurting me again and again. I’m human too, I have feelings, and I can’t handle being hurt over and over! My heart is now shattered, and I can’t trust them anymore. I have no feelings left for them; my heart is thoroughly wounded, and a wounded heart can no longer hold any feelings, can it?” Old Master Zhang knew that every word his grandson spoke was true. He knew that his grandson’s heart had been deeply hurt by his own son, and wasn’t he in the same situation? His heart was also deeply wounded, battered and bruised, yet he still couldn’t give up his own flesh and blood so easily. In fact, Old Master Zhang also understood that once a heart is shattered, it can never heal completely, and things can never return to how they used to be. They never thought that one day it would come to this, so why worry needlessly on their behalf? If that’s the life they chose for themselves, then let them have it!