Hogwarts: I Am Such a Model Wizard

Chapter 312: Catwoman Hermione

After emerging from the Headmaster’s office on the eighth floor, Kyle was in a buoyant mood, greeting every portrait he passed. Hogwarts was truly full of surprises. Who would have thought that on an otherwise ordinary Christmas, he would encounter the legendary Ashes of Nirvana—and even receive a small vial of them?

It felt like a dream.

Kyle didn’t know exactly how long it took Fawkes to undergo rebirth, but he was sure it wasn’t a short period. Dumbledore’s eyes had reddened at the time, and it was the first time Kyle had seen him lose his composure like that. In Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Newt Scamander hadn’t specified the frequency of a Phoenix’s rebirth. This suggested that Fawkes hadn’t undergone it in all the years since Newt had written the book.

If that were true, Fawkes’ rebirth cycle might be at least sixty years—assuming no external forces like the Killing Curse accelerated it.

Kyle pulled out the small bottle again, examining it in the dim light… At least sixty years, reduced to a handful of ashes. It was possibly the rarest material in the wizarding world, one that few could even dream of possessing.

Legend had it that Phoenix ashes, left after rebirth, contained both the essence of death and the spark of new life—a substance revered by alchemists and master potion-makers alike. Kyle even suspected that Phoenix ashes might have been used in crafting the Resurrection Stone, one of the Deathly Hallows. If he got the chance, he’d love to study it.

He glanced back at the Stone Gargoyle guarding the Headmaster’s Office, feeling the urge to quicken his pace as he jogged down the stairs.

When he reached the first floor, he came across two familiar faces in the foyer.

“Harry, Ron?” Kyle greeted them, raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing here so late?”

The two of them jumped, spinning around to see who had caught them.

“Uh… couldn’t sleep,” Ron stammered. “Just… out for a stroll.”

“You—you’re here!” Harry added, shifting uncomfortably.

The two of them huddled together, looking as if they’d been caught sneaking around.

“Oh, I just came from the Headmaster’s office,” Kyle said casually, studying their appearances. “But aren’t you two a bit overdressed? And… wait, is that a tail?”

“What tail? No tail… you’re mistaken,” Harry stammered.

Ron nodded vigorously. “Yeah, yeah… you’re seeing things.”

Despite the freezing temperature, both of them were sweating nervously.

Something’s off, Kyle thought. They look like they’re hiding something.

Suddenly, he looked over their shoulders and gasped, “Professor McGonagall! What are you doing here?”

“Professor McGonagall!” Harry and Ron yelped, spinning around in alarm. But as they did, they quickly realized there was no one there.

In that instant, Kyle caught sight of what was lurking behind them—a large, earth-colored, furry head… that looked oddly like… a cat?

When Kyle had called out Professor McGonagall’s name, the figure behind Harry and Ron flinched, reflexively looking up. It was indeed a cat’s head, but with a human body clad in loose, ill-fitting robes.

Kyle squinted, processing what he was seeing. “Hermione?”

The figure gasped, then hurriedly covered her face.

Kyle turned to Harry and Ron, eyebrows raised. They both sighed in resignation, confirming his suspicions.

The oversized robes, the cat-like face…

“She didn’t drink Polyjuice Potion with cat hair in it, did she?” Kyle asked, putting the pieces together.

Neither Harry nor Ron responded.

After a moment, Ron whispered, “Do you have any ideas?”

Kyle thought for a second. “The Homorphus Charm should work. Lockhart mentioned it in Wanderings with Werewolves, but I don’t actually know it. You could… ask Lockhart if he remembers the incantation…”

“Lockhart?” Harry’s face contorted, and he shook his head immediately. “Any other way?”

“Other options…” Kyle frowned. “I’m not sure if they’ll work. Let’s just get her to the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomfrey will definitely know what to do.”

“Alright.”

Harry and Ron nodded, draping Hermione’s oversized robes over her again as they hurried toward the Hospital Wing. Fortunately, given the late hour and the holiday break, they didn’t encounter anyone else along the way—except Kyle.

...

”Itʼs… quite a problem,” Madam Pomfrey muttered, studying Hermione with a grave expression after a thorough examination in the Hospital Wing.

“Didn’t Professor Snape ever teach you that Polyjuice Potion cannot be used for animal transformations?” she asked, frowning.

“We… we didn’t know… It was animal hair…” Ron stammered, clearly anxious.

Both he and Harry were prepared to confess everything, from stealing ingredients from Snape’s private storeroom to brewing Polyjuice Potion in secret. Right now, all they wanted was for Hermione to return to normal. Any punishment could wait.

“How reckless… how careless…” Madam Pomfrey scolded, shaking her head. “You’re lucky to be alive, drinking something without understanding what’s in it.”

Although she rebuked them sharply, she didn’t ask how or why they’d brewed Polyjuice Potion. She simply took out her wand, tapped Hermione a few times, causing large patches of hair to fall from her body—though some stubborn fur remained.

“She’ll need at least five weeks of treatment to fully recover,” Madam Pomfrey sighed, then waved them off. “Now, off you go. Go back to your dorms.”

“Can we stay and watch—”

“No!” she interrupted, firmly denying Harry’s request before he could finish. For reasons of her own, she refused to let them linger. With no choice, the two reluctantly said their goodbyes to Hermione, glancing back with every step as they left.

“What about you? Still here?” Madam Pomfrey looked over at Kyle, who had no intention of leaving.

“Madam Pomfrey,” Kyle asked thoughtfully, “I’m curious—could Mandrake leaves be useful in reversing this kind of incorrect transformation caused by magic potions?”

“Mandrake leaves?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“I read about it in a book,” Kyle explained. “Someone used Mandrake leaves to reverse a transformation from being turned into an octopus.”

“Don’t tell me it was one of Lockhart’s books,” Madam Pomfrey sighed.

Kyle nodded. In truth, he’d read it in Holidays with Hags.

“Mandrake, when used with Lovage, can indeed reverse physical changes caused by Curses and Transformations,” she explained. “But for the Mandrake Restorative Draught, you don’t need the leaves; you need the sap of a mature Mandrake.”

“The Mandrake Restorative Draught?”

“Yes,” she said, glancing briefly at two empty beds in the corner. “It’s the same draught used to revive those who’ve been petrified.”

Kyle nodded, realizing Lockhart must have misheard the information and invented a new “recipe” for dramatic effect.

If that was the case, there wasn’t much they could do. The last batch of seeds the Ministry had provided included Mandrake root and Lovage, but they were still on the eighth floor, safely stored in the Room of Requirement—far from maturity.

Mandrakes take about a year to grow into seedlings with facial features. It would be another full year before they’d be mature enough to harvest. Lovage grows even slower; like Venomous Tentacula, it needs at least three years to reach maturity.