Gun of Ashes

”Sometimes I wonder whether what I think of as ’evolution’ might share great similarities with what alchemists call ’ascension,’ in that both involve the original form undergoing a kind of ’ascension’ to a certain extent.”

”Alchemists believe that through the mysterious art of alchemy, mundane substances can ascend to a higher existence, much like how an ordinary person might leap to become a god.”

”Alright, I must admit that such a description is indeed somewhat exaggerated, but from what I understand of alchemy, it is true. They kill the metal and then forge more powerful metal.”

”So what about evolution?”

The Plague Doctor paused his writing. This was a question he had been studying for nearly a century, but to this day he couldn’t find an answer, or perhaps he had found an answer, but it seemed to be the wrong one.

”I’ve always felt that humans and apes are so similar, could it be that we are the ’ascension’ of apes? Through a way we have yet to understand, an individual ’ascends’ into an entirely different individual. These are only descriptions; I’m not some literati, my wording is rather clumsy.”

The Plague Doctor often wrote such thoughts in his notes, as if he were preparing to have someone read them.

”What initially inspired me was that damn Black Death. Humans died helplessly in the face of this plague, but I heard that certain creatures possessed the power to resist it, and the disease couldn’t affect them. From then on, I pondered whether humans could become like them.

Later, I encountered demons; they are truly perfect beings... if they can be called beings at all. Essentially, they are humans, one after another, eroded and twisted, but under this mysterious force of distortion, humans became almost perfect beings.

From a reproductive perspective, demons reproduce in a bizarre way through erosive spread, and they also possess a terrifying mimetic effect. It is such a powerful force that perhaps a single mistake by humans would lead to everyone becoming like demons.

Demons themselves also have sufficiently peculiar traits. From what I’ve discovered so far, they change themselves according to the environment: growing scale armor against formidable foes, using illusions against enemies immune to physical harm, not to mention their terrifying self-healing abilities, among others.

So sometimes I wonder, could this be ascension in the name of demons, evolution in the name of demons, ... ascension in the name of demons?”

The Plague Doctor paused again, raising his left hand and removed his glove, revealing a twisted, crimson hand, the flesh on it wriggling slowly, an evil anomaly yet brimming with power.

”Some say that humans and demons are different, and that such twisted, abhorrent beings as demons could never be ’higher beings.’ But what I mean to say is that from a human perspective, demons are indeed terrifying, damned monsters, but from an absolute rational perspective, biologically speaking, demons are far more powerful than humans.

Some may question the so-called ’ascension,’ but just like my analogy and speculation, humans have ascended from apes. From the ape’s perspective, how cruel and bizarre are humans? We enslave them, casually manipulate their life and death. Are we not another kind of demon to them?”

The Plague Doctor hastily wrote in his notes as he looked at his crimson left hand.

”Yes, exactly, I don’t have definitive evidence to prove that humans have ascended from apes, but we all know how humans become demons; the evidence is right in front of us.”

Yet if this is the case, according to the Plague Doctor’s own theory, he had already completed what he considered ’evolution.’ Over a long period, he replaced his body’s organs bit by bit, transforming into a being similar to a Demon Hunter in a bizarre way.

”Among alchemists, some have also attempted ’ascension,’ but most of them failed: some died, some faced enormous backlash, and some succeeded, but their ’ascension’ wasn’t complete. It seems I am like them; I did achieve ’evolution,’ but my ’evolution’ wasn’t complete.”

”This is a partial ascension, a partial evolution, a partial ascension.”

So... what exactly is missing? The Plague Doctor could never figure this out. It was as if he had already stood before the doors of truth, yet was barred entry, just because he didn’t have the ’credentials’ to step inside.

The Plague Doctor gave up contemplating these matters. To him, the only difference between himself and demons was self-awareness, but this alone filled the Plague Doctor with fear.

The road ahead was a mass of fog; all the Plague Doctor could do was guess at the trajectory of it all, but guessing didn’t assure correctness. It was a gamble, and he was very likely to lose everything.

Thus, he dared not bet. He dared not stake his self-awareness on this path of evolution. If the Plague Doctor lost his self-awareness, then the so-called ’Plague Doctor’ might be killed the moment evolution was completed.

Could he kill himself? The Plague Doctor couldn’t accept this, causing him to relive a feeling of despair he had long missed. The path was there, but the moment he stepped on it, he could die, unable to glimpse the answers.

Hope at the end of the channel?

In truth, the Plague Doctor didn’t know whether he could find the so-called truth, whether his ’Evolution Theory’ or truth was all based on his own consciousness and conjecture. He could even say that all existing knowledge of demons was based on trial and error, gradually taking shape.

”Let’s stop here for today.”

The Plague Doctor set down the pen and sighed. He had pursued all this for so long, having long cultivated a calm mindset, not in any hurry for anything.

He put away his notes, placing them back into the drawer, and then walked to another corner of the ship’s cabin, stopping in front of the operating table.

”How are you feeling now, child?”

The Plague Doctor said as he picked up the scalpel and turned on the lights.

The operating table was filled with pained whimpers, and as the light came on, only then did its appearance become clear. The use of ’it’ to describe was because it was difficult to determine a gender, or even whether it was human.

Its body, human-like, was covered with numerous stitched scars, some already healed, others still oozing blood, as if it were a doll sewn together with countless rags. What’s more, several parts of its body had lost the semblance of what a human should be. Its legs seemed to have undergone some sort of terrible surgery; the bones shattered, then rearranged to form the recurves of a wild beast.

”Oh, oh, oh, I apologize sincerely, I forgot that yesterday I just performed a lung transplant and modified your bronchus. Your tongue became such a hindrance I had to remove it for now.”

Listening to its painful moans, the Plague Doctor repeatedly apologized.

”Let me think, where should I start today?”

Picking up a note attached on the side, the Plague Doctor looked at the schedule of surgeries planned for the next few days.

”Oh, today it’s heart replacement. Hold on a moment, I’ll pick a most powerful heart for you.”

The Plague Doctor, speaking in a voice that sent chills, as he inserted blood transfusion tubes into this gradually inhuman creature, the blood bags hung began to infuse this body with fresh blood. These were full of Secret Blood, barely maintaining its life but not to the point of letting it spiral out of control.

Turning around, he pulled back the curtains beside the operating table. Behind this curtain lay another operating table, upon which was bound a ferocious demon. Yet this violent demon was as docile as a kitten now. Under the perverse academic mindset of the Plague Doctor, it had already been dissected into near-completion, its chest laid open with a massive wound, the bones under it severed long ago, the pounding heart clearly visible.

Yes, all is unknown, whether it’s his ’Evolution Theory’ or the truth at the channel’s end; the only real thing was practice, for only practice could prove what was real.

Like lab mice, the Plague Doctor once had no such resources. He could only modify himself as if he were a lab rat. But in the mutual fulfillment he found with Lawrence, he already possessed sufficient resources.

If the road ahead is shrouded in fog, then create another lab rat, another Plague Doctor.”

Thus thought the Plague Doctor, as he lowered the scalpel.