Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

I could see Rachel ran a tight ship at a glance, and there were no questions about who I had to praise for this arcology’s relative success. It still had some hiccups, of course it did, but nothing major like someone organising disruptive riots and planning to upturn the vote.

A part of me still expected some problem to pop up. I wasn’t even sure what it could be with Rachel having the local bureaucracy and the burgeoning police force in a stranglehold, but I still did. Maybe one of the kids would suddenly awaken as an Alpha Plus psyker and would turn the whole planet into a giant unicorn with a magical fart before he poofed out of existence from his own power, overwhelming his paltry vessel. Maybe an Eldar strike team would teleport in a harebrained attempt to kidnap me and use me in a ritual to wake their slumbering God. 

So I was somewhat surprised when nothing happened and the tour went off without a hitch. Rachel led the procession, her own guards conscripted from trustworthy locals spread out around the much tighter formation of Tau guards the Ethereal brought with him. The two sets of guards easily kept the curious masses at arm’s length, allowing them to watch the strange blue aliens walk around without letting them get close. 

Thankfully, my daughter took it upon herself to narrate everything, saving me the bother and letting me enjoy the tour like I wasn’t the one who built everything. Well, it did give me another perspective, and I took notes of the things Rachel mentioned that were … less than stellar. 

It was just little things, and mostly stuff born of my overall ignorance of my citizens’ culture. The main complaint, the one most people brought up to the new representatives, was the distinct lack of public baths. Unisex public baths at that. 

Apparently, while Slaanesh’s influence didn’t go all that deep in their culture just yet, but there were signs. Prudishness was not a word that could be used to describe them, to say the least, and they really liked their fertility festivals, which many had requested to be held.

Another problem they brought up was the distinct lack of brothels and the ones who complained were mainly young women wanting to make some quick money, and not even the horny young men who would have been my first suspects. Apparently, fooling around in your twenties in whichever way you chose was part of life, and it was almost expected that one explore their sexuality in great detail before settling down in their early thirties.  

The question was left to simmer for now, as I was still undecided on whether to fulfil their requests or to do some cultural manipulation instead to trim these tendencies. I did not want Slaaneshi cultists coming out of the boondocks. I had no problems with their culture, or the morals of it from a personal standpoint — hells, if I did not have the most beautiful lover in the world, I’d probably happily take part in whatever those fertility festivals entailed under disguise — but I was peeved that it’d be a weakness the God of Excess could sink her claws into. Well, I didn’t have to decide by myself, I had a handy group of people whose opinions I trusted, plus I could nab a few of the more competent local politicians to give me ideas on how best to gently influence the populace out of becoming Chaos-twisted abominations. 

Aun’Saal kept asking questions, but he kept them to the mundane, and I almost believed he was truly fascinated by the irrigation system built into the agricultural floors of the arcology. Every now and then, he poked at the government system in place—the policing force or how we dealt with those who struggled with the changes. Every time he did, I felt his wariness and curiosity flaring, then dampening when Rachel gave textbook boring answers. 

She didn’t even have to lie, as her arcology actually handled everything above board, which was a luxury Talia’s couldn’t quite manage. However, the devil was always in the details, and Rachel’s success stemmed just as much from luck as it did from competence and strength of personality.

It took a few hours, but we did get through most floors of the arcology. Finally, on the lowest floor fit for human habitation, Rachel turned around and addressed the group following her, her gaze locking on the Ethereal. The smart girl realised what was going on quickly and had been accommodating the Tau more so than he probably deserved.

“Unless you wish to crawl through the sewer system and inspect that too, this shall be the end of the tour,” Rachel said, arms held behind her back as she stared straight at the alien with a neutral expression. “Any questions, or should I escort you back to your transport now?”

“I am more than pleased with what I’ve seen, thank you for your guidance Overseer.” Aun’Saal nodded his head in thanks, sounding pleasant enough as always. “I think it is time we moved to the next arcology, or I will be here past sundown.”

“Very well, follow me,” Rachel said, nodding easily as she turned towards a wall to the side and pressed her palm against a concealed biometric scanner. A moment later, the doors of a spacious elevator hissed open, and she stepped to the side, waving the Ethereal and his retinue forward. “This will take you back up to the landing-pad.”

The Tau streamed in, sensors buzzing on the guards as they examined the inner workings of the elevator and probably understood little of it. I didn’t have repulsors back when I made these, and even the ones I have now wouldn’t fit, so I’d gone with organic replacements. Technically, the elevator levitated in place and was locked on a vertical trajectory by the ring of repulsors pushing it off the tunnel in which it was nestled. 

They didn’t look happy to be using something they didn’t understand, but the Ethereal waved them off and marched inside, glancing back at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“A moment,” I said, turning to Rachel. “Thank you for your hard work, and well done.”

A telepathic link snapped into place between us, and I continued through it more privately. ‘You’ve been doing a stellar job Rachel, I’m proud of you. Would you be available for a dinner tonight? We had little time to talk with these Tau around, and I’d love to get to know you better in a more casual environment.’

‘T-thank you … Mother.’ Rachel sent back, her timid mental voice at odds with her professional demeanor. Pure joy radiated off her newborn little soul. ‘Yes, I’d like that. I’m free this evening … or whenever you have time for me.’

Smiling, I couldn’t stop myself from throwing up a quick Illusion to cover the two of us, making it look to onlookers like we were just standing around. I stepped in and wrapped this adorable little munchkin up in a hug, both physical and psychic, my own aura embracing her little soul in a cocoon of warmth and affection. 

Rachel melted into the embrace, her arms hesitantly returning it and every so carefully wrapping around my back. I rubbed her back affectionately, smiling as I did and waited for her nervousness and anxiety to slowly drain away. Only when I felt she was calm, happy and centered did I reluctantly let go of her and stepped back.

‘See you later,’ I said, my heart melting a little at the pure smile tugging at her previously expressionless face. ‘I have to go entertain that blue prick for a bit, but that shouldn’t take long. Either I’m done by dusk, or I’ll just possess the drone I’d left behind in your office. Take care, Rachel.’

‘Bye, Mother.’ Rachel gave me a tentative wave, then glanced at the Tau with a startled look, quickly snapping her hand down and straightening her back.

‘They can’t see us, don’t worry.’ I smiled at her. ‘Bye, Rachel.’

I stepped away, slipping into the elevator with the Tau, and only let the Illusion around Rachel fall away when she managed to put her professional look back on. With my back to them, I gave my daughter a final smile as I pressed the button for the doors to close. A moment later, the elevator buzzed to life and shot up with barely a sound, which had some of the Tau stumbling at the sudden acceleration. 

I made a mental note of my dinner plans with Rachel. I had met her before of course, once when she was born and then again for a short hour-long talk when I left a drone in her office. 

Every day, I had longer meetings set up with some of my daughters, just dinner dates or movie nights and whatever else I could think of to spend some time with them, either in my Avatar or in a possessed drone. Overseers were the ones I talked to most as they were the ones who ran the arcologies for me, but I didn’t discriminate against any of the others, either. Some worked as caretakers of the habitation towers, others worked in the agricultural floors, gardening and making sure the automated systems worked, others yet made sure people got their daily food transported to them. I talked with them all, giving them some personal time with me whenever I could. 

I had been undecided whether to just have fifty drones doing that constantly, or to focus on being in as few bodies at once, to focus on those I was meeting at the time more, to give them every bit of my attention. I settled for a middle ground, having only five bodies running at once, which was about the limit beyond which my emotions started to get muddled between the multiple bodies. That was easily solved in combat by detaching my emotions from those bodies, letting them become mere extensions of my will, organic puppets, and emotionless tools that I wielded from afar.

That, of course, didn’t really work when the goal was not to murder something effectively, but to make my daughters feel loved and cared for. I hoped I was succeeding at that. My empathy helped, even though it felt a bit like I was cheating, but all of my daughters were usually happy and satisfied by the time I left.

We were back in the shuttle, relaxed in those overly plushy chairs and sipping some alien beverage that Aun’Saal had seen fit to share with me in minutes as the elevator deposited us just metres away from the landing-pad. The engines revved up, and soon we were flying, soaring through the air and whizzing toward the next arcology I had indicated.

Something tickled the back of my mind, a hint of warning, a mild danger heading my way. My hands froze with the cup halfway to my lips as my eyes went distant while I tried to figure out the source of the warning. I had little to fear from it, if my eldritch intuition was correct — and it probably was — but I was currently sitting with Tau dignitaries in a flying metal coffin who were all much more squishy than I. What I could shrug off as less than a scratch—not even an annoyance—might be fatal to them.

“Uh-oh,” I said, finding the source in short order once I had my aura scanning the ground far below us for any possible dangers. “Motherfuckers.”

“Pardon me?” Aun’Saal asked, eyebrow raised more in amusement than dismay at my lack of decorum. 

Before I could answer, the tactical officer overseeing the shuttle’s scanners and security system answered for me. “Incoming missiles. Signals matching low-grade orkish weaponry. What are your orders? ETA 1 minute.”

Those motherfucking walking pieces of fungal garbage, I’m going to petrify them and send them on an infinite voyage through the endless darkness of space. I’m going to cut off their heads, and keep them alive and mounted on my walls! I might just go nab a real Drukhari to do it properly, to really teach these damned semi-intelligent mushroom fuckers a lesson.

I was fuming and absolutely livid. Any other time, I’d have taken this as a fun byplay and gone over to stomp whichever upstart decided to try his luck into the dirt to show them where their place was — under my boots — but now? With the very perceptive Ethereal sitting right across from me? How much power could I show? What would be too much? What would make him think his fellows were right, and I really was far too dangerous to be worth keeping around?

It was a damned headache, every little bit of it.