Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

“Alright team, gather up.” I clapped and said ‘team’ gathered up as instructed, accompanied by some grumbling from some while others came over enthusiastically.

Selene was already next to me with a pleased smile on her face, looking pleased with her new state. Especially so now that she got a handle for how to channel power that didn’t want to taint her soul efficiently. Many of the protective measures Val taught us could be done away with here, though she kept a bare minimum for unforeseen happenstances.

Those mental protections for example, were handy not just against Warp temptation and influence but also against mental manipulation which all of us were still susceptible to.

“The three of us.” I glanced at Sel and Val. “Are going back to help out the defenders. The two of you though, I am not so sure of.”

Fae had a 180-degree shift once I was done with her procedure and as such, instead of celebrating like she would have, she looked down like an abandoned puppy. Bob gave her a sideway hug, he was glancing at me warily ever since I became the object of his GF’s veneration but with his newly regained youthful looks, there wasn’t much he could complain about.

With the amount of vitality in his body, he should be good to go for a good five centuries with no bodily deterioration if he didn’t do any overly self-damaging stuff.

“With our deal here being done,” I continued. “You two can run off on your own if you want. Though, I have another offer for you.”

Bob’s wariness increased while Fae looked up at me hopefully, her sapphire blue eyes glimmering like gems. Such a weird part of Eldar genetics.

“”What is it?”” They asked in tandem, looked at each other, then back at me. The tone was quite different between the two questions.

“Once we are done here, hopefully I can requisition a new voidship.” I rubbed my palms together. “Selly might not look it, but she is a Rogue Trader, so with a bit of oiling here and there, we could be getting a new ship before the month’s end.”

“Really?” Selene looked at me with a weird mix of emotions. “Are you sure that is a good idea?”

“If you don’t want to then we can forget it.” I turned to her, eyes searching her features for any sign of unhappiness about my idea. Surprisingly, I found quite a lot. “I thought you’d want a new ship?”

“It’s not that I don’t,” she said. “But not having that responsibility has been freeing. If you are just doing this to please me, then please don’t.”

“Hmm.” I tapped my chin. “Alright. Abort mission then.” I rolled back around. “We are leaving here in probably a month or sooner if I somehow manage to upset some important people by accident. If you two want to, you can come along.”

“Why would we want to?” Bob asked with a frown.

“Five centuries is still quite a short time compared to how long your little girlfriend will live and I am not doing another renewal like this out of kindness. You’ll have to work for it.”

“I see.” He went into a brooding stare down with the floor.

“I’d want to.” Fae said happily, then deflated a little as she glanced at Bob. “Only if he wants to of course.”

“Understandable.” I shrugged. “You’ll have until we leave to decide. You can stay here or come back here by then if you want to come with or want a liftoff of the planet, though I’ll only throw you a planet over at most.”

“Understood.” Fae nodded. “Thank You for doing this to me. For freeing me and even helping Rob.”

“It is what it is.” I waved her off. “You two ready to head back?”

Val just nodded reluctantly, energy still playing on his fingers as he reapplied his illusionary human form. Though, I noticed it was leagues ahead of what he had before.

Intricate details were added to his illusion and seeing through it would have proved almost impossible if I wasn’t cheating with my own powers. He can finally draw on his entire potential, no more holding back in fear of She who Thirsts.

Selene on the other hand had that murderous smile back on her face as she gave me an eager nod.

“Then off we go.” I smiled, mirroring my girlfriend’s.

A portal sprang up in front of me and I had to send the idiotic Skyslasher that flew through ignorantly back with a backhanded slap. I’d thought opening it in the sky would save us from this but it seemed like the swarm somehow gained a new wind and was bearing down on the fortress with renewed vigour.

I hopped through, my silky clothes morphing into my battle armour around me and once I felt the other two behind me I closed the portal. Selene was falling a dozen meters above me while Val just stepped on air as he let out a veritable storm of energy.

In a hundred meter orb, there was nothing left of the Tyranids but scorched ash that followed the two of us in our dash for the ground. I grinned as I saw lightning rain down on the swarm like the wrath of a furious god.

Valenith was formidable even before this, he could stand against dozens of demons at once or hold back a horde of Orcs like we saw in the Webway but right now he was just playing with an entire army of Tyranids.

Gargoyles flew up to meet him and fell back down with half of their bodies obliterated, even the special variants that stood as tall as houses couldn’t fly closer than two dozen meters to the Eldar.

I could feel his joy, a boundless, childish exuberance coming from pure relief. The moment he placed his soul in my realm, I knew he could never betray me, but now I knew he would be loyal by his own will.

Eldar were not like humans, they couldn’t be made to worship with force. As far as I knew, no Eldar has ever fallen to Chaos, not even the Drukhari who are the living representations of what it means to be a Slaaneshi cultist.

They are despicable beings, but they never worshipped the Prince of Pleasure. They live by his design, dancing on strings, but worship is not something they do. Some might say just being as they are acts as worship, but I felt different.

I could feel Fae’s worship even this far and I knew that while she was inside the realspace segment in the shadow of my Puddle, I would continue to feel her. It would have been insignificant to someone with thousands or billions of worshippers, but I only had one and I could feel the slightest hint of power it gave me.

It wasn’t something I liked to be honest, I never was big on religion and even my narcissism has limits.

[*snort*]

I firmly put the limit on making others worship me. The ‘making’ part is important, though. I wasn’t going to beat the veneration out of Fae’s head if she decided on giving it to me out of her own free will. Free power was free power.

She is still getting a spanking if she goes all Lorgar on some unsuspecting people and starts evangelising. That is not something I will stand for.

I smashed into a horde, my boots crushing a Carnifex into the ground. It didn’t quite die, but it was neck deep in dirt and I was atop it so it didn’t really have much of a chance at crawling out of that hole alive.

A serpent made of Psyflame leapt off of my skin and started circling me, burning the rushing Tyranids to ash as it went further and further away from me with each round it made.

I raised my foot and stomped down, the force of it easily cracking the Carnifex’ shell where my weight smacking into it couldn’t and once that was done I let a lick of flame eat away at his insides.

Hmm. I’m collecting Flames now. I have the regular one, the Vitality burning one and now the black one that feeds on molecular bonds.

The one I used here was the Vitality flame which burned white as it devoured the alien monster. This robbed me of some bio-energy. To counteract that I let out a swarm of flies to go around collecting bio-energy from fallen Tyranids but I changed my mind at the last moment and what came out were beautiful monochromic butterflies with mostly white wings accented by heavy black lines drawing shapes onto them.

My little swarm went to work. With time they would harvest every fallen monster or human on the battlefield while I played warrior princess.

Selly smashed down a hundred meters away from me and right into a line of artillery beasts. Soon chunks of body parts flying through the air and screeches of pain went up all around there.

I better get to work too. Let’s give a show to these super soldiers that they won’t forget.

I didn’t use Atiesh, only my good old bio-sword. It might have failed to leave anything more than a scratch at the Swarmlord but that wasn’t a problem when the toughest enemy I had to fight here were Hive Tyrants and maybe some other heavily armoured warbeasts.

What stopped my blade back then was the psychoactive carapace which had more energy flowing through it than it had any right to.

That wasn’t something any of the beasts here had.

My sword cut them apart in the dozens. Hundreds fell victim to my Telekinesis, at times smashed into gory balls while at others I was satisfied with turning them into meat pancakes.

Fiery serpents danced all around me, roaring as they burned through the unending horde. This put me into the eye of the fiery storm they caused and against only the toughest Tyranids that could break through the serpents.

The first Tyranids to burst through my circling serpents with psiflame still licking at their carapace were a duo of Carnifexes and an armoured behemoth that my mind-cores identified as a Tyrannofex.

It stood tall even compared to the two Carnifexes which both were about twice as tall as me but the new behemoth was an armoured truck where the Carnifexes were only the size of bigger cars.

The psiflame was crawling under the armour of the two smaller beasts and the half of one’s skull was clearly visible where my flames ate away at its flesh.

With a flex of will I turned the flames into dark matter-devouring infernoes on the two Carnifexes as I threw myself at the living fortress that I graciously excluded from the attack.

The Carnifexes roared but crumbled to dust even before my sword rend the Tyrannofex’s bio-cannon in half. The ravaged weapon dripped acidic blood on me but my force-field had it stream down the outside of the invisible bubble.

I looked up at the beast which realizing that its primary weapon was gone even before our fight started off in earnest, threw its entire weight forward to crush me under its massive body.

I let it try, grabbing onto its skull as it rammed into me. My armour and enhanced body underneath it combined with the force field around it all easily withstood the impact, not that the biggest danger came from there.

My feet left the ground as the beast smashed its head upwards like an angry bull, then it latched onto my right boot while I was mid-air and continued its charge right into where one of my flaming serpents was setting off a veritable inferno.

Eh.

I was curious what the dumb thing was planning, but trying to use my own flames against me?

My feet held in its jaws exploded into a dozen sharp tendrils that buried themselves into its flesh. I might be playing around with these Tyranids, but that didn’t change the fact that aside from the Swarmlord, they were hopelessly countered in every way by my Eldritch abilities.

The beast stumbled and bit down hard on my leg, the force field gave way after a few seconds, but the armor didn’t so much as crack. After that defiant last attack, the beast crumbled, its heavy carapace empty on the inside as my tendrils worked on assimilating the hard shell.

There weren’t any psychic channels in it, just pure evolution going above and beyond to make that armour as impregnable as possible. Still, it was mostly biomass so with only a few seconds of delay, the carapace too joined the rest of the beast in bolstering my growing stash of bio-energy and adding a new genetic template to my growing collection of them.

My little butterflies were coming and going at times, landing on my shoulder or touching my hair only for moments to deposit their collected bio-energy before going back out to collect some more.

I gracefully floated up and placed my feet back on the ground, acting like I wasn’t a chew-toy to an ugly alien just a moment ago even if no one could see me at the moment.

I cracked my neck, eying the next group of beastings that forced their way past my serpents. Most crumbled a few steps in, the flames becoming too much to bear for anything but the strongest of them.

A single Serpent circledabove me, shooting beams of devastating dark flames to make sure no flyer could circumvent my little test strength.

I was the big raid boss here that they needed to take down, not the other way around and I’d only bother with the strongest challengers.

I noticed I was grinning as a group of Hive Tyrants burst through the flames. The four of them came from all four sides of me, trying to box me in and I could see the puppet-master’s strings guide their every movement as they rushed at me.

Was this respect? Or just a sub-conscious reaction to a very valid source of threat the hive mind detected in me?

No matter. It threw its strongest little soldiers at me and I could feel more converging on my position.

Carnifexes broke away from their formations, Hive Tyrants left the besieged fortress and their foes behind as they all rushed at me. Large worm-like bio-forms made the ground tremble beneath my feet as they all got ready to face me down.

My grin only widened. My feet slowly left the ground as I started levitating as a dozen Psychic spells danced at the edge of my mind, waiting to be used at the moment’s notice to bring my enemies low.

“I love my new life.”