Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

A loud crash resounded through whatever room we found ourselves in as the half-separated top part of the Gate failed to support its own weight. Wraithbone cracked and shattered as the large arcaneotech that stood for many thousands of years fragmented into thousands of tiny shards.

I dismissed my shield and rose to my feet with a groan, my mind felt a bit foggy and I’d describe the sensation as similar to when a human stands up too fast. I blinked, trying to clear it away but it only slightly abated.

I stumbled over to Selene who was in the process of getting herself onto her feet.

”Need help?”

”Yes,” she wheezed, did her powerarmor not work or something?

Either way, I grabbed her shoulder and put her on her feet like one would a child who stumbled on a rock.

”Are you alright?”

”Negative: Two of my legs are broken, I require assistance.”

I sighed helplessly as I glanced at the twitching Magos a bit further away.

”Go help him,” the woman said distractedly, ”I’ll be alright for now.”

I nodded and patted her armored shoulder before making my way to the fallen tech priest.

”So,” I said as I ran my gaze over his twisted form, not sure which parts were twisted as they should be and which were actually broken, ”What do you need assistance with?”

”Removing and repairing the two broken legs is the primary concern, I can handle removing the redundant systems that became non-functional.”

”Alright,” I sliced off the twisted metal that used to be his legs and grew on two replacements made of metallic chitin, ”that should be it, anything else?”

”Are you capable of boosting cell regeneration through Biomancy?”

”Yes,” I nodded, ”Did your fleshy bits get injured too?”

”Affirmative: Slight internal bleeding detected.”

”Hold steady for a bit,” I said as I flooded his remaining organic parts with soul energy as I induced rapid cell regeneration and used my white tendrils to suck up any blood that remained, I gave him a burst of healing through that too just to be safe, ”You should be better than ever.”

”Affirmative: ...Organic parts return over 300% functionality....fascinating.”

Even though he was thinking out loud his many arms were already working on discarding outer add-ons from his body and fixing those he deemed important.

I turned back to Selene just to see her struggling to take off one of her slightly bent pauldrons. I observed for a second, somewhat amused before I pushed that away and decided to help her.

”Need help?”

She jumped a bit, turning to face me with an annoyed frown on her face.

”...yes,” she admitted, ”I don’t know why but the armor lost energy and nothing wants to work so it’s just a burden.”

”How are you still moving?” I asked as I started carefully working on her armor, cutting away at the dense material, ”Shouldn’t it be like what? half a ton?”

”It’s barely fifty kilograms,” she corrected me, ”I couldn’t get my hands on any of the high-end power armor.”

”Why don’t you sit down?” I asked, ”This is going to take a while if I want you to stay in one piece by the time I’m done.”

”Sure,” she sighed and slumped down on the floor, taking the time to look around the room for the first time, ”What is this place?”

”The Webway,” I answered distractedly, ”Aha,” her right pauldron came off, and I threw it over my shoulder before starting to work on her left one.

”Didn’t think it’d look this,” she glanced around for a second, ”derelict, I guess.”

”The Eldar have better things to worry about than keeping this place clean and proper,” I also took a moment to glance down at the lengthy hallway.

It appeared like an underground tunnel covered in old stone bricks, sometimes overgrown by moss and other fauna. Every ten or so meters a crumbling statue interrupted the monotone walls but even those were mossy and failed to stave off the ravages of both time and nature. In the distance, I saw a crossroad, with three other similar hallways joining with this one.

With a moment to spare, I finally took the time to look at the large twitching mass of eldritch flesh that floated aimlessly in the Sea of Souls next to my soul. It was a welcome surprise as I expected having to fish it out of the Warp or something but it appeared right next to my soul, did it somehow follow my soul thread instead of just getting thrown into the Warp like it should have been? No, I don’t even know for sure what should have happened, this wasn’t a simple Warp-jump.

For now, I had no way of making use of this thing and so I commanded it to shrink down into a small orb and orbit my soul, it was one thing to try that teleport thing in realspace and another entirely to try it in the Webway, for all I knew the sub-space had strong enough barriers to rebound all the energy used to create the spatial fluctuation right back at me. That wouldn’t be fun.

So with a last wistful look at all that bio-energy remaining out of my grasp for a bit longer, I returned my attention to my body.

”Were you inside the Webway before?”

”Nope,” I said, her left pauldron also coming off, I took the literal weight off her shoulder and threw it next to the other one, ”Never found a Gateway before, so this will be my first time.”

She just sighed, looking at me weirdly.

”You are weird for an alien,” she said in a whisper like she was scared of the Magos hearing it.

”And you are weird for a human,” I said simply, ”I did somewhat expect you to try killing me back there you know?”

”Not like I’d have succeeded even if I tried,” she stared at the ceiling as I started the work on the two-piece armor covering her chest, ”what even are you?”

”I appreciate you not even trying,” I said with a smile as the woman stared even more intently at the ceiling, ”As for your second question, your guess is as good as mine.”

”What do you mean?” she asked with a frown, finally her gaze returned to me and found my face centimeters away from her own.

”I don’t know what I am,” I said, staring into her metallic grey eyes, ”I never met another one of my kind but I don’t think I ever will, I think I am ... artificial, in a way.”

”Why would anyone let you run loose then?” she asked again, tilting her head as her hard gaze held mine, ”You seem ... dangerous.”

”Oh, I am, ” my voice came out like a breathy growl, ”but this is a large galaxy,” my now clawed fingers ran down the side of her chest separating the front and the back part of her armor, ”and there are many things more dangerous than me out there to worry about.”

”The Imperium took down many Xenos more dangerous than you,” the touch of concern in her voice made my heart flutter a bit, I smiled at her as the chest armor clanged to the floor, leaving only her lower torso covered in a futuristic corset.

”Because they were making a nuisance of themselves,” I noted my claws now running down the side of her stomach to cut apart the corset-like part, ”and I have a big bad Rogue Trader to hide behind, don’t I?”

My other hand ran up now, and Selene grabbed it when my fingers reached her neck.

”Are you threatening me?”

”No,” I said, maybe a bit more hurt creeping into my voice than intended, was I really that desperate for companionship or was this the effect of my enhanced emotions? I didn’t know but I wanted Selene to stay with me, ”an offer, partnership if you like.”

”And if I say no?”

”That’d break my heart but I wouldn’t kill you or anything like that,” I said, trying to sound as apathetic as possible as I said the second part, ”I am not a monster like your Imperium portrays other species to be.”

”Didn’t you single-handedly defeat a Hive-Ship or something?”

”Okay, maybe I am a bit of a monster,” I said with a rueful smile, ”but that doesn’t mean I’m an emotionless murderer.”

”So be it,” she said, her eyes seemingly staring into my soul, ”I’ll shield you from the gaze of the Imperium and you will ... what will you do for me?”

”Whatever you wish for,” I whispered huskily as I leant in just so my mouth would be next to her ear, as I retreated I noticed both of her arms pulling at the fabric of my clothes but she neither pulled me in nor did she push me away.

”*cough* right,” she hid her embarrassment well as she let go of me, ”should I know anything else?”

”I’ll admit that I’m much less knowledgeable than I pretend to be so I don’t know what exactly you should know,” I returned to cutting her out of her shell, the corset-like part coming off too as I cut it through on the left side as well, ”so ask away and I’ll answer.”

”Is any-” she sucked in a deep breath as I removed the armor, freeing her torso of its confines but I also managed to cut through her underclothes at the side accidentally and the chilly breeze that slipped under her shirt wasn’t appreciated it seemed, ”Is anyone aware of you? Should I expect anyone to try to hunt you down?”

”Not to my knowledge but Farseers are a thing and as I have no idea who made me or why I don’t know if they’d want to ’reclaim me’.”

”How strong are you?” she asked, trying to tie some cloth around her waist to keep the toga-like shirt in place.

”Depends on the enemy,” I shrugged, starting to work on the armor on her arms now, those should be easy, ”Necrons could dematerialize me with a shot but I don’t think any Ork or Tyranid could actually kill me, not anymore.”

”And the rest?” she asked with a tilt of her head.

”I think I could handle a Chapter of space marines if it is a small one and they are not orbitally bombarding me but actually on a battlefield,” I took a moment to consider, ”I don’t know how strong Eldar are, nor how dangerous their Aspect Warriors can get but I should be able to manage if they come in close quarters.”

”I see,” She was doubtful obviously, I just said I could decimate an entire chapter of the Emperor’s Angels of Death in direct combat but I didn’t think that was a lie. If nothing else, I could drown them in Bio-Drones.

”And that’s done too,” I exclaimed as I slipped her right arm out of its shell, ”Say, you do actually still have your Writ, right?”

”Of Course,” she said, slightly offended by my question but could you fault me? Who hoards their most important document around on their person all the time?

”Really?” I asked dubiously, deciding that this was the perfect excuse to carefully run my gaze over her much less clothed body. Damn, I was sure humanity was gene-edited somewhere along the way because this woman looked like what models dreamed of looking like.

”It’s here,” she rolled her eyes at my gaze obviously not actually looking for the document, she reached down with her now free hand and touched the side of the armor on her ankle. A compartment buzzed as it flipped open and revealed a miniature gene-locked vault.

”Cool,” I nodded in appreciation, by now not actually staring at her curves.

”I have repaired myself, I am ready to continue onward.”

I sighed as the tin can’s voice reached us from further away, interrupting my bonding time with Selene.

”Ah well,” I sighed, my claws flashing out quicker than any human could see and surgically cutting Selene’s remaining armor to shreds but leaving the part where her Writ was intact.

Her eyes twitched as she fought down the urge to smile amusedly at me. I smirked back at her as she mock glared. At least I could distract her from the betrayal and the massacre that took place not long ago, I don’t think she smiled since the Wanderer left us stranded.

”We are ready too Magos,” I shouted, ”let’s see what the Eldar have hidden away in here.”

While we travelled I finally had the time to look at the status reports my Mind-Cores compiled. One was about my remaining stores of Bio-Energy, and the other was about all the new gene templates I got, helpful as they were they included how much of the templates were stable too. It wouldn’t be impossible to fill in the gaps based on the DNA I already had but it’d be time-consuming. They also added in small notes for the bio-forms they thought I wouldn’t know about. Let’s see.

’Minimal Operational Capacity (Baseline Human or Animal Form): 400 years

Normal Operational Capacity (Standard Psyker Form): 50 years

Advanced Operational Capacity (Combat and Hunter forms): 10 years

Calculated Lifetime based on past behavior: 6 months

Can an emotionless shitty mind-core be snarky? I’m sure it is throwing shade at me. I wasn’t that wasteful...okay maybe I was...especially with how much I got injured and how much bio-energy I just left lying around...

Okay onto the second report, that’s a huge info dump but here we go...

’Giant Bio-forms:

Hive Ship - 40%

Mycetic Spore - 95% Transport Organism

Narvhal - 100%

Exocrine - 40% Bred as a long-range tank hunter

Cerebore - 30% A massive Tyranid transporter organism

Dactylis - 75% Long-range firepower specialist organism.

Hierophant -60%

Large Bio-forms

Carnifex - 100%

Dimachaeron - 80% Large hunter-killer predator

Hive Tyrant - 100%

Neurotyrant - 20% Large psychic Tyranid which acts as a node for the Shadow in the Warp

Psychophage - 15% Psyker-consuming organism

Tervigon - 40% A massive Tyranid that serves as a living incubator capable of spawning Termagants

Toxicrene - 60% Mobile toxic spore-producing organism

Maleceptor - 95%

Medium bio-forms

Biovore - 100% Tyranid creatures bred to launch Spore Mines towards the enemy, they are the equivalent of the artillery of other species - includes some variations like Triovore and Protovore

Broodlord - 100%

Lictor - 100%

Mieotic Spore - 100% Large sacs full of bio-acid and toxins, and contain smaller Spore Mines within them

Pyrovore - 100% A species of Tyranid that pre-digests biomass to provide minerals and fuel for the Tyranid Hive Fleet. It can launch a searing fireball from its dorsal flamespurt bio-weapon grown into its own flesh

Ravener - 70% A Tyranid species adapted for fast assaults, surprise raids and swift pursuits.

Tyranid Warrior - 100%

Tyranid Warrior Prime - 50%

Tyrant Guard - 100% A species of Tyranid spawned for the sole purpose of defending a Hive Tyrant from harm.

Zoanthrope - 99%

Neurothrope - 50% Evolved version of the Zoanthrope able to leech the life force from its victims

Small bio-forms - 100%

Cortex Leech Resembling Rippers, they leap onto the face of their victims and insert long feelers into their ears, nose and eyes. These feelers are capable of manipulating the new host’s brain forcing them to become a dribbling puppet under the sway of the Hive Mind.

Gaunt

Hormagaunt Melee

Termagant Ranged

Gargoyle Flyer

Genestealer

Rippers

Sky-slasher Small flyer

Spore-Mine

Biomorph Creatures are all 100%

Bonesword A Bonesword is a Tyranid close combat Biomorph that can drain the life force out of its victims.

Lash Whip

Fleshborer

Spinefist

Barbed Strangler

Deathspitter

Devourer

Impaler Cannon

Strangleweb

Stranglethorn Cannon

Venom Cannon

Heavy Venom Cannon

Spore mine Launcher

Flamespurt

Acid Spray

Rupture Cannon

Bio-plasmic Cannon

Psyro Acid battery

bio-Torpedo

Tiny bio-forms

Desiccator Larvae moisture absorbing lifeform

Electroshock Grubs elecricity-producing organism

Fleshborer beetle Insatiable beetle-like organisms living within and fired from Fleshborers.

Flesh-worm Worm-like organism with shiny black heads fired from Devourers.

Pathogenesis Mutating virus-like organism

Resonance Barb Hive Mind stimuli

Scataphagoid Small beetle-like organism responsible for cleaning the respiratory tracks of Hive Ships

Shreddershard Beetle fragmenting explosive organism

Venomthorn Parasite Weapons-upgrading organism’

Nice.

I had to wipe away the drool from my mouth.