Getting Warhammered [WH 40k Fanfic]

”Son of a bitch,” I heard Selene say in something like a whispered scream but my attention was barely on her. The Tsunami in the Warp was approaching us like a tide of world-ending darkness, aiming to snuff out the soul of us all.

It even reached beyond the Warp, towering further towards me but I knew I’d be safe. Distance was relative and especially in the place my soul was, it’d only take a single thought to get out of the way of it.

I swept my gaze across the hundreds of gathered humans, Shadows, Pilots, Scribes, tech priests and Selene herself. They were all so fragile, this tide would kill them if they were lucky, tear their souls from their bodies or do something even worse if they were stronger, like Selene was for example.

I think if it was the me from a few days ago I’d have left them to die, too much risk and too little payoff. If the ripple was caused by what I suspected then the only reason I even met them in the first place was gone. There was barely any practical reason for me to exert myself for their protection.

Still, apathy was a fragile emotion, it wasn’t an emotion in itself as much as it was the lack of it. I liked Selene’s company and that slight adoration was the seed that sprouted into a magnificent tree with my enhanced emotions. I didn’t want to let her die, I didn’t love her or anything, don’t get me wrong but I felt the risks were suddenly even with my gains.

She’d live.

My decision was made, as much out of my enhanced emotions as reasoned for by my pragmatic side that was tasked with keeping my soul from turning into a murderhobo space horror. I was hoping that the combination of my wanting to be in a certain way, fuelled by my sincere emotions would be enough to affect my soul. It shouldn’t be much but as the soul was the representation of all that I was, all of my choices held significant weight, especially a choice that could result in the death of hundreds of my ’allies’.

My soul sprouted hundreds of tendrils that sped toward the deceptively still waters below. The Warp was a place of thought, emotion and willpower so I used all three as I willed a protective sphere into being around the souls of all the people here and the un-reality of the warp obeyed.

A shield powered by the pure energy of the soul and enhanced by my emotions and unbending will covered them all in a brilliant white sphere of protection. Not a blink later the ripple-turned cataclysmic shockwave arrived, crashing into my shield with the wrath of a dimension that has been vandalised and torn apart by pesky mortals.

I absently noted the blockheaded residents of the immaterium trying to converge on me even though the Warp currents were fighting against the action ferociously. Demons weren’t beings that could be halted for long by that though, after half a minute of me sustaining the barrier, turning most of the Warp-Energy I was busily purifying in the meantime back into it, the demons reached it.

They first tried to tear into the shield but they found themselves lacking and instead followed the glowing tendrils of soul energy boring into the Warp, like hunting dogs smelling their prey they followed along my trail. Before I’d been green and connected into the Warp mostly by accident but I had much to think about since then and a scenario like this while wasn’t exactly among them I’d thought of ways to deal with lesser demons.

My solution was not too complicated but I didn’t have the opportunity to test it yet either. The immaterium wasn’t a logical place as I’d said before, with me powering the shield with the power of friendship and all that was evident but I couldn’t quite wrap my head around how to apply the more esoteric powers of a Psyker.

So I decided to steal, what I wanted was for my attack to not feed the demons instead of hurting them which was a challenging task with soul energy being like a pure maiden placed before a serial rapist that were the demons and the warp energy that they were made of. My idea was basically Smite-ing them, I’d shoot a bolt of Soul Energy that’d not just dig into them but expend all of its carried energy to destroy as much of the warpstuff that made up the demon’s body.

My soul became the center of a storm, white lightning-like Smites snapped out of it like it was a Tesla Coil and to my delight the Smite worked just as I’d wanted it to. Every demon the bolts of lightning struck got parts of their forms blown apart and the wound left in its place burned in white flames, scorching the very essence of the demons.

Dozens of new tendrils extended down from my soul every second to fuel the barrier and take the place of the ones I had to throw away before the warp energy stabilized the connection too much. I was sucking in said warp energy like a giant vacuum cleaner before it could corrode or corrupt my barrier, this caused a huge influx of warp energy in my pure sea of soul energy but it was getting cleansed sooner or later if I wasn’t connected to the Warp anymore it’d only be a question of how long it took.

The angry waves of the warp crashing into each other echoed out through out the immaterium but in this one place, they got lost beneath the howling screams of the demons. They’d come for a meal perhaps, expecting it to be free prey or they were just overwhelmed by their hunger for bright souls but still, they’d come to devour my soul.

I watched on with grim satisfaction as they chopped of burning limbs to stifle the flames before too much of themselves was lost. I couldn’t hope to permanently kill them by this but a demon had to spend thousands of years remaking their bodies after a banishment, I hoped I’d at least inconvenienced these assholes with this.

The screams of their brethren didn’t stop the rest though, many crawled on, using other demons as a cover or as meat shields as they leapt into a tunnel leading towards the expanding lake of soul energy around me. An interesting thing I noticed was that if I just yanked the annoying pests that tried that and threw them outside of the soul energy there was fuck all they could do.

Technically they weren’t in the Warp, the immaterium yes but the Warp? No. My tiny sea of souls worked for them too as a similar environment but in the nothingness in-between they were helpless. Their wings desperately tried to keep them in the air but they plummeted all the same and sank into the dark waters like pebbles into a pond.

Then it happened, with no forewarning the tumultuous Warp froze. The water took on an eerie calm and the surface was as still as ice, my pull on it weakened, like the warp energy became sluggish and unwilling to move anywhere.

I hastily retracted my soul-tendrils, the threat was gone for now and then I saw a glimpse. The still water reflected back not myself floating above it but a myriad of maws, claws and eyes, mad with hunger and filled with malicious intelligence.

”Motherfucker,” I muttered, reiterating my previous thought. The Tyranids were on our doorstep and our ride has dipped without us, the accurate description of our situation was ’neck deep in shit’.

I tried searching for any sign of the Wanderer but all I found was the afterimage of a faded tear in reality, a Warp-Portal opened right where the ship was supposed to be. Well, damn. It seemed like all of my luck had been used up on reincarnation.

During all of this, I felt like my stomach was trying to digest rotten food but in this case, my stomach was my soul, the little lake of soul energy had grown into a veritable ocean spreading far beyond a mortal’s eyesight. The whole ocean was a battlefield of light and dark as I used my white soul energy to disperse and contain warp energy as I purified it in smaller batches to not overwhelm myself. This was the only reason my body wasn’t writhing around on the floor while shivering in overwhelming disgust and revulsion.

”Echidna!”

”You are getting awfully familiar, aren’t you?” I raised an eyebrow at Selene who had a deep frown on her face.

”That was the fifth time I called out to you,” she noted, her brows threatening to meld together on her forehead.

”Oh well,” I shrugged, ”I had something to do.”

She raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

”You know, like protecting your souls from the side effects of some moron engaging a Warp-Drive in the orbit of the planet, nothing important.”

”Thank You?”

”You are welcome,” I nodded, ”now care to enlighten me why said moron would engage the warp-drive on the ship you are presumably the captain of?”

Her shoulders slumped at my question, the ever-collected captain not caring about her appearance for the first time in my presence.

”Listen to this,” she said as she handed me a communicator thingy, Vox something. I was still getting familiar with all the weird tech the Imperium used.

”Okay,” I stared down at the blocky thing, half of it looked like a ’90s speaker while the rest had buttons and stuff on it, ”how?”

Selene stared at me for a moment, judging if I was fucking with her before she nabbed the thing out of my hands, pushed a few buttons and then placed it back with a huff.

”Thanks,” I said as the Vox crackled to life.

”Message to Captain Selene Voss from Acting-Captain Vesper Harken: The Navigator has had a vision of the Tyranid swarm approaching, he swears on his life it will be here before we can get you back onto the ship, it is either abandoning you or dying together. I’m activating the Warp-Drive right after this message and Pray to the Emperor that it doesn’t blow us all up. Goodbye Selene.”

”What an ass,” I clicked my tongue as I handed the speaker back to Selene, ”guess we are destined to become bug snacks.”

”Then it is going to be the worst snack they’d ever eaten,” Selene’s face was dark and I imagined thunderclouds orbiting around her head.

”That’s for sure,” I nodded sagely, ”I’d give a tummy ache to the big bad aliens, of that I am certain.”

She pursued her lips, clearly unamused at me making jokes right after our fates had been decided for us before she shook her head, ”Call the Magos, tell him what happened and call him back up here to discuss things moving forward.”

”Yes, Captain!” one Shadow said, his voice cracking a bit. I saw the unnatural effects of the Shadow of the Tyranid fleet seep into them, it was more than just a shadow that dampened psychic powers, it was a cloud of malice, evoking fear and desperation that affected every mortal inside it.

”Negative: converge on my position instead, my find might just be what we all need.”

My head snapped towards the Vox held in one of the Shadow’s hands, Zedev’s synthetic voice unmistakable as it sounded out from it.

What did this crazy toaster-licker find?