World’s Cutest Alchemist

In a studio, a woman with paint stains on her clothes and skin watched Raccoon’s 5th floor clear video with interest.

…

On a talk show, featuring a famous alchemist,

“Today, let’s talk about Raccoon’s 5th floor clear. Specifically the alchemy method she used.” The alchemist, an old man named Fargo, said.

“A long time ago, when I was on the 42nd floor, I found a book. It was a book about a certain alchemist’s life on the battlefield. During the time of war, there weren’t enough healers or priests to tend and care for all the soldiers. An alchemist’s potions will save lives, however, if the soldiers can’t get the potions in time, then it’s worthless.

Distributing the potions to the frontline took too long. So, the kingdom started sending the alchemists to the battlefield. They’d stay in the camps, producing potions all day so that the soldiers that couldn’t reach a healer or priest in time could live.

One day, this alchemist was producing potions when he heard a sound.

An explosion.

The camp was invaded.

Left with no choice, the alchemist hurriedly stuffed random materials and potions into his bag and ran. He followed a squadron to retreat.

But, the enemy wouldn’t let them leave so easily. They shot spells, arrows, and bullets at them. Being a production class, the alchemist’s physical capabilities don’t match the combat classes. He was slow, he could barely tread across the damaged and uneven ground.

The enemy caught up and a battle ensued. The alchemist and the squadron he followed lost. He barely escaped with a few members, the others dying there. The only reason he was able to escape was because his best friend carried him on his back and ran.

When they finally were freed from the threat of being pursued, they ended up in the middle of nowhere, miles from the closest town or village.

But, at least they were safe. That’s what he thought. Until suddenly, the friend carrying him started falling to the ground.

It was then he noticed that his friend had suffered a fatal injury in the escape.

He went to grab a potion. But, it wasn’t there. During the escape, an arrow had sliced through his bag, causing a majority of the items inside to fall out.

He tried his best to close the wound with cloth and ripped clothes, but, without a potion or a healer, there was no way his friend would survive.

But…The alchemist didn’t want his friend to die.

Grabbing whatever materials he could from his bag, he decided he’d do whatever it took to keep his friend alive.

And he did something no one experienced with alchemy would ever do. He started to create the potion within his body. For a comparison to those that don’t understand the risk, it’s like messing with live explosives. One mistake and he could have suffered a fatal injury to his core.

But, he had no time. He needed to create the potion as fast as possible.

He was successful. He transferred the potion into a bottle and quickly fed it to his friend.

When he returned to the kingdom, he reported this to someone who then reported it to the king. The king saw its value and immediately had every alchemist research and optimize this style of alchemy.

Later, this style of alchemy would be vital during wartime. It’s known as: Free Alchemy.”

…

[Official: Raccoon, the Little Bomber, has successfully cleared the 5th floor.]

Author: Awakener’s Association

Hello, this is the president of the Awakener’s Association, Richard Miller. Earlier today, at 12:22 P.M, a notification that sent ripples throughout the world was sent to many awakeners. It was news of Raccoon, the Little Bomber, clearing the 5th floor.

Raccoon, if you’re reading this,

I know you have not registered with the association, I do not wish to make this message be insincere and ask you to join. Instead, I offer my sincere congratulations to the young awakener.

You are a blessing and inspiration to production classes worldwide.

→ [HOLY SHIT, RICHARD MILLER HIMSELF?]

→ [THE ACTUAL PRESIDENT!?]

→ [This message is so wholesome. It’s simply from one awakener to another; From one era to another. This is why I respect Richard Miller so much.]

→ [I can’t believe the legendary, reclusive awakener, Richard Miller, himself, returned just to leave a message for Raccoon.]

→ [As long as Raccoon continues steadily, I have no doubt in my mind that she’ll be a future ranker.]

→ [I’m a 47 year old production class, leather worker, even though Ms. Raccoon and I couldn’t be more opposite, I’ve never been prouder of production classes. It’s not just an alchemist making it onto the floor 5 leaderboard. It’s the beginning of a new era for production classes; She has proved that even we can compete competitively if we tried.

I pray that future production classes can reach whole new heights.]

↳ [My grandpa is 71 years old, he’s a production class but he’s never felt like it suited him. All his life, he has claimed he’s been wearing an ill-fitted suit. He’s very action-orientated and active, in his younger days, he was extremely competitive and wanted to be a respected combat class ranker who could be among the top.

Unfortunately, he awakened as a production class. Everyone told him that it was impossible for a production class to be one of the strongest. And the wall that no production class could ever overcome is the 5th floor. He, himself, tried and failed to overcome that wall and started to believe that it was as everyone else said, “Impossible.”

Until today. Today, I saw him exercising. His competitive fire has reignited and he’s no longer living a simple retired life. I haven’t seen my grandpa so motivated in years. Thank you, Raccoon and congratulations.]

→ [Congratulations, Raccoon!]

→ [I WAS HERE!]

↳ [I WAS HERE!]

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

↳ [I WAS HERE!!]

↳ [I WAS HERE!!!]

[Raccoon’s Floor 5 Breakdown]

Author: Number One Analyzer

HOLY SHIT! SHE ACTUALLY DID IT???

Hello! This is Number One Analyzer and I’ve broken down all the things you need to know in Raccoon’s Floor 5 clear video.

First, for those who don’t know me, I am Allen Millet, the analyst in the French guild, Le Boulot. I’m an A-rank Analyst and often work with the tower association. An Alchemist from our guild is helping me with the technical knowledge needed.

To start off with, one of my skills allows me to see how many skills or traits another awakener possesses; Some people have been curious if she had bought or obtained a new skill or trait that allowed her to beat this floor. Let me clear it up for you: No. She still possesses only 2 skills/traits; This is the same number she had on her floor 2, 3, 4 clear.

Now, lets look at the buffs applied pre-floor.

[You feel a little more focused.] (+27% Concentration; Time remaining: 54:46)

[Your perception increases.] (+27% Reaction Speed; Time remaining: 54:44)

[You feel a little faster.] (+27% Movement Speed; Time remaining: 54:42)

With these effects, she should have drank 3 D+ grade potions—likely made by herself.

She seems to have focused only on effects that would help her find materials faster, as, she avoided using other buff potions such as a strength or toughness potion.

Now, as for the potion she used to incapacitate the hobgoblin. From the clear video, we can see three materials used: Jango Mushroom, Giant Huffpall, and a Mossbranch Vine. I’ll let my alchemist friend explain from here:

It’s quite a simple recipe. We can break it down by the material.

The jango mushroom, the core of this potion is a poisonous mushroom that emits nerve paralyzing spores when agitated.

The giant huffpall is a mushroom that amplifies those spores.

And the mossbranch vine is what glues everything together.

From a theoretical perspective, it’s really bootleg and makeshift. Even an apprentice could theorize this type of potion.

However, what really impresses me is the fact that she made it within 5 minutes. For reference, an apprentice, or even I, myself, would take 30-60 minutes to create this in a proper environment. But, Raccoon, was able to do so with nothing but the materials, her body, and nature while under immense pressure.

Actually, it’s even less than 5 minutes, since she had to find the materials. I’m unsure of how long that took, but, from a technical standpoint, that is master-level.

What Raccoon used to create this potion was a style of alchemy called ‘Free Alchemy’. This is a style of alchemy rarely used nowadays because of the risks it brings and the fact that it almost only loses money. Other than emergency and dire situations, such as wartime, almost no one would actually use this style.

If my apprentice did such a thing, I’d smack them across the back of their head.

However, from an alchemist’s standpoint, seeing it done, and it being done well, is amazing. If only she also included the prep phase in the replay, I, as well as many other alchemists would definitely study it.

Onto the potion itself. I’ve replicated the materials used and created something called a ‘Nerve Paralysis Potion’, which is likely the same as what Raccoon used. Since potion grade depends on the alchemist’s skill, I can’t tell what grade potion she created from a glance. However, the absolute highest it could be is C+ grade, and the lowest it could be is D grade.

And that’s it for the potion side of things from my alchemist friend! Now, onto the clear itself.

When the video starts, we see that Raccoon is still in the process of creating the potion. As the hobgoblin spawns in, we see her silhouette look up for a brief moment before focusing back on the potion in her hands. Then, she doesn’t look up again until the potion is created.

From my personal viewpoint, this is both, seriously dangerous and impressive. If she wasn’t fast enough, she would have died before the potion was made and we wouldn’t be seeing this clear video. But, the absolute courage, guts, concentration, and idiocy it takes to hone in and focus only on making sure the potion is made impresses me.

The potion is finished at the 10 second mark. This is also when Raccoon looks up and spots the hobgoblin, she throws the liquid forward, hitting the monster straight in the face and dives out of the way, avoiding the hobgoblin’s first and only attack.

When she turns over, the hobgoblin is standing over her, but, the potion kicks in and the hobgoblin becomes paralyzed, falling to the floor.

There, Raccoon immediately jumps onto it, and stabs it repeatedly. One to its throat, the rest to its chest.

At the 20 second mark, the hobgoblin officially stops moving and it’s only classified as dead 3 seconds later where the video ends.

Today, Raccoon has made history, and I wonder if, in the future, other production classes will follow in her footsteps to rank on the solo leaderboards. Congratulations, Little Bomber.

→ [Um, author, I think you accidentally left your reaction in?]

↳ [PFFT, I don’t blame him! That was my exact same reaction when I saw the notification!]

↳ [Yeah, I audibly shouted “What the fuck!?”, now I’m in a meeting with HR.]

→ [Raccoon impressed Allen so much that he actually didn’t make this a guild recruitment offer.]

→ [I can’t believe that she actually did it…]

→ [Did anyone else see how she kept stabbing the hobgoblin until she physically couldn’t any more? I wonder just how long she’s been attempting this.]

→ [So, she used something called Free Alchemy? What would have happened if she failed?]

↳ [Death.]

[Why are the completion times for the early leaderboards so sporadic?]

Author: xx

Not an awakener, but I like following and watching them. Something I’ve noticed is that the leaderboard times are very…random, you could say? Especially on the early floors, is there a reason for this?

Shouldn’t it be filled with 1 second to 10 second clear times or something? I can’t imagine the Lightning Lord taking longer to clear the floor than Raccoon, but somehow it happened. No disrespect to either of them btw.

→ [Definitely agree, by now, shouldn’t the only times on the early leaderboards be within 10 seconds? I see rankers killing monsters even stronger than hobgoblins with just a flick of their blade.]

→ [I’m curious too. Even Dragon Queen took 36 seconds to clear the floor for some reason? Doesn’t she have like billions of money poured into her or something? Shouldn’t she have ranked higher than 7th—ah, 8th now?]

→ [Go read this post (link) for an in depth understanding. But, simply, it’s precisely because it’s early tower that the scores are everywhere. People can invest as much money or training into someone, but they will reach a soft limit that can only reasonably be raised by climbing the tower.

How strong do you think someone’s body can be by the 5th floor? Stronger than most unawakened people, sure, but compared to their current physique, it’s nowhere close—it’s like a baby vs an adult.

Don’t compare them by current standards, but at the level they were at when on that floor.]

[AHAHAHAHAHAHA]

Author: xx

LITTLE BOMBER ON TOP HAHAHAHA

WHERE ARE ALL THE DRAGON FANS NOW? WHY SO QUIET?

→ [LOLOLOLOL]

→ [LOLOLOLOL]

[HEY! I SCREENSHOTTED ALL OF THOSE MESSAGES]

Author: xx

All those people who said they’ll do laps naked in public, where are you! I screenshotted each and every one of your messages!!!!

(Image of multiple users commenting they’ll run laps naked)

I’m waiting!

→ [No dude, please, I’m sorry, spare me…]

→ [NOOO, I DIDN’T THINK SHE’D ACTUALLY DO IT!!]

→ [SHITT! NOT DOING IT, CAN’T FORCE ME!]

→ [Bunch of cowards, what’s a man’s word if he can’t keep it? I’m running around Times Square naked tonight.]

↳ [I bow to a real one.]

↳ [Respect.]

→ […]

↳ [OH! You’re the guy who said they’ll first clear a floor naked!!! Let’s see it!]

↳ [Come on, dude! Even the Little Bomber could clear the 5th floor as a production class, let’s see your naked ass clear a floor!]

↳ […I hope everyone in this thread dies.]

↳ [We’ll die after seeing that floor clear, boy.]

↳ [LOLOLOL]

[Little Bomber clears the 5th floor!]

[Raccoon 5th floor clear]

[Raccoon poisonous potion]

[How did she do it?]

[New 5th Floor Leaderboard!]

[Who is Raccoon, the Little Bomber?]

[She’s back!]

[What is Free Alchemy?]

[Raccoon Free Alchemy]

[Little Bomber alchemy style]

[Raccoon’s potions for sale]

[Richard Miller, president of the Awakener’s Association, heartfelt message to Raccoon!]

…

Raccoon finally posted a Tawer post under the attention of the world.

Government agents, guild leaders, talk show hosts, podcasters, alchemists, production classes, combat classes…Almost any and every awakener who had seen the news of Raccoon’s clear had immediately clicked onto the notification.

There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t curious what Raccoon would say. It would be her first comment since the clear.

Would she write something emotional? Would she explain her clear? Just what would the currently most scrutinized and popular awakener at the moment say?

[Raccoon: First try.]

→ [CONGRATULATIONS!!!]

→ [CONGRATULATIONS!]

→ [I WAS HERE!]

↳ [I WAS HERE!!]

→ [FIRST TRY!!!!]

↳ [FIRST TRY? MY ASS!]

→ [Did you see Richard Miller’s letter?]

→ [Where did you learn Free Alchemy?]

→ [3 MONTHS FOR THIS? WORTH! CONGRATULATIONS!]

→ [Now that you’ve cleared the floor? Will you finally start selling potions again?]

→ [What’re your future plans!?]

→ [Will you register now that Richard Miller noticed you?]

→ [What guild will you join?]

→ [Will you finally start selling Bouncy Bouncy potions now that you’re back?]

→ [I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!]

→ [LITTLE BOMBER ON TOP!]

↳ [THAT WANNABE DRAGON GIRL COULD NEVER!]

→ [Raccoon, what’re your thoughts on that wannabe dragon girl?]

↳ [Raccoon: Stop spreading hate. Just focus on and appreciate me.]

↳ [RACCOON HAS SPOKEN!]

↳ [LITTLE BOMBER HAS SPOKEN!]

↳ [YOU ALL HEAR THAT? STOP TALKING ABOUT THE DRAGON GIRL, ALL HAIL THE LITTLE BOMBER!]

→ [I wouldn’t expect anything less from the Little Bomber. The entire world’s attention is on her, and she just doesn’t care. Never change, Raccoon, never change.]

↳ [I busted my ass laughing when I saw her message. As if anyone would believe that she actually completed this floor on the first try; She’s been gone for 3 months for Pete’s sake. There’s no way in hell she wasn’t training and preparing to clear this floor for all that time.]

↳ [Who’s Pete?]

…

A woman with long blonde hair entered her house. Following behind her was a good-looking man with messy black hair.

“Finally home.” The woman, Elara, said, immediately throwing down her equipment in the hallway.

“Hey, I told you to stop manhandling your equipment, what if it breaks?” The man, Marcel, said, picking up her equipment from the floor.

“Ugh, stop being so tight.” Elara stretched, “We just spent a month in the tower, the least I can do is unwind in my own home.”

“It’s uptight, not tight.” Marcel rolled his eyes, he was long-since used to her shenanigans, “You can unwind, just don’t throw your gear on the ground.”

“Actually, never mind, I like it that you’re tight.” Elara licked her lips with a smile.

“We just got home, stop it.” He replied with a sigh.

“Boring.” Elara rolled her eyes and turned on the TV, “Hm? Oh, looks like something interesting happened?”

“A production class cleared the 5th floor?” Marcel raised an eyebrow, “Raccoon? Little Bomber? An alchemist?”

“I’ve got to see this.” Elara said, “Just how does a production class clear that terrible floor and rank on the leaderboards?”

Elara flopped onto the couch and purchased the clear video.

“Ah…You didn’t even shower before sitting down.”

“Blah, blah, my home, my rules.” Elara shrugged before opening the clear video.

A few dozen seconds later, Elara hadn’t said a word.

“Well? How is it?” Marcel asked, standing in front of the couch, looking down at Elara.

Elara had a very confused expression on her face, as if she was thinking of something that seemed wrong.

“This is…Why does…?”

“Hello? Is something wrong with the clear?” Marcel asked.

“…Watch the clear yourself first.” Elara eventually replied.

Marcel shrugged and did exactly so.

A few dozen seconds later, that confused expression that was on Elara, appeared on himself.

“You see what I mean?” Elara asked.

“…I think so?” Marcel stroked his chin.

“Why does she feel so familiar? I don’t think we’ve ever met this person.”