World’s Cutest Alchemist

An hour later it was time for a rematch. I hugged Luna before drinking one of each buff potion.

“I’m going.” I said.

“Good luck.” Luna nodded.

[Entering Floor 5]

[We wish you luck.]

The familiar grass plains of the fifth floor appeared before me.

[Modifier Floor: Itemless]

[Itemless: Items are forbidden from being brought onto this floor.]

[Floor 5 Objective: Eliminate the hobgoblin.]

[0/1]

[Hobgoblin spawning in 4:59]

I froze when I saw those screens appear, my heart rate started to rise.

But, before my mind could go blank, I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood. With a deep breath, my mind cleared and focused.

“Don’t be pathetic.” I mumbled.

A second later, I turned and bolted into the forest. I ran through the open clearing, following the natural dirt tracks marked by nature.

My eyes darted towards the likely locations of the materials. For the huffpall, they’d be at the base of large, thick trees. The jango shroom would be in patches of land without much greenery, like rotten logs or large patches of dirt. And the mossbranch vine would be hanging on trees with large canopies.

[3:29]

I could feel the burn in my legs. For an unathletic person like me, running at full speed without stopping for five minutes is even harder than doing free alchemy. My stomach started to ache and my breathing became uneven; A moment later, I steadied my breath, breathing through my nose and mouth simultaneously. Luna had taught me the proper way to run and breathe.

Not there…Not under that tree. No vines on that branch. Is that?! No…false alarm, that’s a lincoln mushroom.

[2:19]

I ran and ran, moving through the open shrubbery.

My legs hurt, yet, I wouldn’t stop running.

[1:14]

“Ah!”

Found one!

A green vine hidden by shadows hung on a branch in the shade underneath a great tree. It hung low enough to the ground where I could just grab it. The only issue was, it was entangled with the branch.

This…was a problem I didn’t foresee. Something so simple and I completely disregarded it. I need to actually be able to collect the materials; The mushrooms should be fine since they’re planted in the ground. But, the vines hang off of the trees.

[0:44]

Glancing at the timer, I knew this round was lost. Even if I found the other materials, I wouldn’t have enough time to brew the potion.

So, I decided to figure out how to harvest this vine with the remaining time.

Theoretically, I knew how—I studied this material more than I did for tests back in school. But, this would be my first time putting that theory into practice.

I only need the most potent part…Cutting it off the parts I don’t need shouldn’t affect the potency of it…

I grabbed the bottom of the vine and frowned. Reaching up, I couldn’t reach where I needed to cut. Even when standing on my tippy toes I didn’t get enough height.

“Haah…” I sighed.

[0:32]

Taking a deep breath, I grasped onto the vine with both hands.

Let’s see if I can still climb…

“Hup!” I lifted up, wrapping the bottom of the vine around my foot to get a foothold.

Just a little more!

Pulling myself up a bit more I could finally reach where I needed to cut.

Grabbing on tightly to the vine with my left hand, I reached for my dagger with my right. Flipping open the sheath, I pulled out the dagger and started cutting through the vine.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

It took a little bit of force, but it wasn’t much. I had paid quite a pretty penny for this thing after all.

“Got it!” I shouted as the knife pushed through the vine, cutting it off just above the middle of it.

Not even a second later did I regret it.

“WAH!” I screamed as I plummeted downwards.

As my feet hit the ground, my legs taking the brunt force of the impact, I wobbled before falling, my butt hitting the ground.

“…” With my dagger in my right hand and the vine in my left, I sat in silence for a moment.

“Am I stupid!?!” I shouted.

[0:11]

But after a moment, I started to laugh.

I burst out laughing, aware of the timer ticking down but unworried.

“Silly! So silly.” I chuckled.

[0:05]

[0:02]

“Hehe.” I let out a giggle, “I’ll be back for round three.” I said to the air.

[0:01]

“Forfeit.”

[Forfeiting attempt.]

The scenery changed instantly as I appeared in my apartment, sitting on the tiled floor.

“Stella!” Luna immediately appeared next to me, crouching down, “Are you okay? Are you injured?” She asked hurriedly.

“Hehe.” I showed her a smile, holding out the vine and dagger in my hands, “Couldn’t find the mushrooms.”

My breathing was still a little heavy and my legs and stomach hurt, but, other than that fall at the end, I was completely uninjured.

Ah, well, and my lip. But, that’s nothing.

“Haah…” Luna checked over me with her eyes and let out a breath of relief when she heard my words. She smiled, “Looks like you lost this round, eh?”

“Yeah, but, third times the charm.”

[You have forfeited this floor. You cannot reattempt to clear the floor for 58:57]

…

I spent that hour recuperating and going over the plan with Luna.

With an hour between each attempt, that meant at my best I can do 10 attempts a day. Honestly, I would’ve probably done more if Luna didn’t stop me and force me to lower the number.

She did bring up good arguments, such as if I’m tired my odds of successfully brewing the potion is lowered. Or I might miss the materials because I’m too tired and can’t focus properly.

But, the biggest reason and the one that caused me to lower the attempts per day was that Luna really didn’t want me to push myself. She wanted me to do only 8 attempts, but I successfully haggled and pushed for 10.

…

Round three.

[Entering Floor 5]

[We wish you luck.]

As soon as I spawned in, I turned around and ran into the forest.

I didn’t even look at the other screens that popped up, quickly scanning the area.

As I ran and searched, a thought popped into mind. Could I optimize the route I take?

The plains are the same every round—Rocky always stays in the same position. So, why wouldn’t the forest?

Can I find the most efficient route that gives me the highest chance of finding the materials?

Once that thought appeared in my head, I knew it wouldn’t leave.

For now though, I pushed it down and out of mind. First, focus on finding materials, I can create a route during my hour between attempts.

[3:43]

As I ran through the forest, huffing and puffing, I spotted a dull white that popped out in the muddy colors.

Huffpall!

I ran, crouching down immediately after reaching it. With my dagger, I cut it at the base, tossing it in my pouch before getting up and continuing to search.

1/3 down.

2 more to go.

Huffpall down, so, now I can skip the more lush areas…

I ran and ran. The time ticked down, though I knew it was consistent, why did it feel so fast?

[2:21]

I spotted a large conspicuous tree in the distance. The canopy was massive. A good feeling hit me as I ran towards it.

There!

A mossbranch vine!

It was hanging off of a branch.

While heading towards the tree, I pulled out my dagger, brought it to my mouth and bit down on the handle to hold it. I remember seeing this in a movie with Luna; Is it actually faster? I don’t know, but it feels like it should be.

Reaching the vine, I grasped onto it with both hands, wrapping the bottom around my foot to create a foothold.

“Mmp!” I lifted myself up.

This time, I held above where I’d cut it.

Retrieving the dagger from my mouth with my right hand, I cut through the vine. It dropped to the ground as I hung in the air like a monkey.

Ugh, I didn’t think I’d also need to know how to fall properly…

I sheathed my dagger and gritted my teeth.

There was no time to waste. I let go of the vine and dropped to the ground. My knees bent as I used my palms to keep myself up.

Darn it, I need to watch some parkour videos when I get back.

Grabbing the vine, I patted my knees before standing up and continuing to search. The vine dragged on the ground behind me.

2/3 down.

1 more to go.

[1:13]

Come on! Come on!

I ran harder and harder, my breathing getting heavy. My stomach and arms hurt but I didn’t stop.

[0:55]

Please!!!

[0:49]

Not there! Not here! Not anywhere!!!

[0:25]

Damn it!

When I saw the timer reach below 30, I stopped. Resting my palms on my knees, I panted heavily.

I lost this round…I’ll win the next one, damn it.

[0:10]

“Forfeit…”

[Forfeiting attempt.]

“Stella?” Luna was next to me in an instant.

“Two of three…” I let out between breaths, “Next round for sure…”

“Drink some water.” Luna handed me a bottle.

I gratefully accepted and started to drink, some of the water dripped down my lips and chin and onto the floor.

“Drink slowly.” Luna said, “If you drink too fast, you’ll puke.”

I swallowed a bit more water before finally removing the top from my lips.

“Paah.” I let out, “Thank you.” I smiled.

“Of course.” She replied.

“Ugh…My legs hurt.” I complained, walking to the couch and flopping onto the cushions.

“If you exercised more, they’d hurt less.” Luna said.

“Blah, blah…” I replied, “Do you know if they have a map of the fifth floor online somewhere?” I asked.

“A map? Of course they do, why?”

I explained to her my plan about creating and optimizing a route to follow. I also wanted to map out areas likely to have each material. For if I find a material and the route leads me towards the same material I’ve already found, I can easily pivot.

Luna happily agreed to help me and we spent the hour creating a route.

The route wasn’t done by the time I could attempt round four, but, that was fine. I wasn’t expected the perfect route created in just an hour. We’ll slowly create it over time.

…

Round four.

Loss.

Materials found: 1/3; Mossbranch vine.

…

Round five.

Loss.

Materials found: 0/3.

…

Round six.

Loss.

Materials found 1/3; Mossbranch vine.

…

Round seven.

Loss.

Materials found 2/3; Mossbranch vine, giant huffpall.

…

Round eight.

Loss.

Materials found 1/3; Giant huffpall.

…

By round nine, Luna and I had created a test route. We had searched the internet for as much info as we could find about the terrain and features. Thankfully, since we’re on such a low floor, the area’s been almost completely mapped out.

We found a handy website that kindly listed out some unique landmarks and areas on the floor. Included in that was a list of flora and trees in the forest.

Someone clearly had too much time on their hands as they listed the type of each tree on the map.

I wonder if there’s a skill to automate it?

Anyways, on round nine I tried to follow the route but it was harder than expected.

Although I’m not that directionally challenged, I could barely tell when I was supposed to turn and what tree I was supposed to pass.

In the end, I lost that round only finding 1 material: The mossbranch vine.

This was definitely the most common and easiest to find material. Thankfully there was at least one of these; If every material was uncommon or rare…I don’t even want to imagine how long it’d take for me to clear the floor.

I spent the hour practically lying down on the couch. My legs were absolutely killing me.

When the attempt timer hit 0, I took a deep breath and sat up.

“Round ten.” I said.

“Stella…You do know that you’re not going to be able to move tomorrow, right?” Luna asked

“Blah,” I spat out, “I’ll leave that problem to future me.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

I shrugged and drank each buff potion.

“Phew…Tenth times the charm.”

[Entering Floor 5]

[We wish you luck.]

…

Yeah, I lost. I didn’t get a single material that run.

Groaning, I flopped onto the couch.

“No luck?” Luna asked.

“None…The tower’s out to get me.” I muttered.

“Right…” Luna rolled her eyes.

“Luna~” I said cutely.

“…What?”

“Can you turn on the shower for me…No, actually, a bath. I want to soak in hot water.”

“Heh,” Luna chuckled, “Alright, princess.” She headed to the bathroom.

…I stared at her back as she entered the bathroom. There was a vague desire in me to ask if she’d wash me too, but…That might be a little too much for now.

When she returned, we chatted for a few minutes as I waited for the water to get hot.

“Can you order food today?” I asked before heading to the bathroom.

“Sure, what do you want?”

“Anything’s fine.” I replied.

She nodded and I entered the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

There, I undressed and gently lowered myself into the water.

“Paaah…” I let out a deep breath of relief as the hot water soaked into my skin.

Tomorrow for sure…I will clear this damned floor and win.