What if your Honkai Star Rail was like this?

Chapter 87: Chapter 87: Luocha: If You Want to Ask My Name, Don’t Bother

When she heard those words, a rare spark of anger flared in Stelle’s heart.

It wasn’t the fact that someone was impersonating her and causing trouble that angered her—it was the possibility that this could bring distress and inconvenience to her companions. The reputation the Astral Express had built up couldn’t be ruined because of this!

If I catch this impostor, whether they’re a guy or a girl, I’m sending them flying with one swing of my bat!

The two continued questioning several passersby, but not only did they fail to find any leads on Dan Heng, Stelle’s striking resemblance to the ”lookalike” caused multiple misunderstandings. Even the Cloud Knights were about to drag her off for questioning.

Left with no choice, March 7th stepped in to stall the Cloud Knights, while Stelle found her own way out. The two split up to act separately.

”Hey—gray-hair over there! I’ve been following you for ages!”

Just as Stelle reached a relatively secluded spot, a voice suddenly called out. A passerby with an NPC-like appearance cautiously approached her. ”I told you not to wander around, so why are you still not listening? Keep this up, and Lord Luocha will have to teach you a lesson with his whip!”

Stelle froze. ”What the heck are you talking about?”

...

Elsewhere.

”What’s the deal with you two following me?”

A refined, golden-haired man stood with his back to Huohuo and her group, his voice calm. ”I know I’m dashing and charming, but if you’re trying to ask my name, don’t bother.”

Huohuo (rolling her eyes) silently mouthed two words before speaking. ”You...”

”Oh, and if you’re also wondering about my age, don’t bother with that either. I’m not interested in underage kids,” Luocha interrupted Huohuo with a faint smile.

Huohuo’s veins bulged. ”Who’re you calling a kid?!”

”Oh, and since we’re just strangers passing by, if you want to know anything about me, just don’t bother,” Luocha continued. ”I’m sorry my charm is so captivating, but alas...”

Huohuo: (╬▔皿▔)╯

”Big Sis Huohuo, don’t get worked up!” Tail hurriedly tried to calm her down.

Dan Heng also held Huohuo back. ”Lord Huohuo, let it go.”

Seeing Huohuo’s urge to charge forward, the golden-haired man’s lips curled into a smug smirk as he flicked his long hair. ”No need to get so excited. But if you’re sincerely asking, I’ll graciously tell you. My name is Luocha, and I am—”

Bang!

Huohuo forcefully broke free from Tail and Dan Heng, hurling a small leather shoe at Luocha’s head. He collapsed face-first to the ground, one hand outstretched, stubbornly raising a single finger...

A few minutes later.

Snap!

Huohuo brandished a small whip (found among Luocha’s belongings), menacingly threatening him. ”No nonsense. I ask, you answer. Got it?”

Luocha obediently hugged his head while lying on the ground, letting out a pitiful ”Mm.”

”First question: your identity.”

Luocha: ”My name is Luocha, male, a traveling merchant and physician passing through here.”

Huohuo tossed a short sword in front of him with a clank. ”Then explain why a traveling merchant and physician is carrying a weapon.”

Luocha whined, ”As an ordinary person traveling the cosmos, isn’t it reasonable to carry a weapon for self-defense?”

”After all, I’m just a merchant without powerful abilities like yours.”

Dan Heng pondered. ”Hm, reasonable.”

Huohuo threw a coffin in front of him with another clank. ”Then explain why a traveling merchant and physician is carrying such a huge coffin.”

Luocha pointed at the coffin, taller than himself. ”As a merchant selling coffins, isn’t it reasonable to carry my merchandise?”

Dan Heng: ”...That kinda makes sense.”

Huohuo gritted her teeth and pressed on. ”Then can you explain why, as a physician and merchant, you’re strutting around shirtless?”

”And what’s with this little whip? Are you some kind of pervert?”

Luocha wailed from the ground. ”As a cosplay-loving coffin-selling merchant and physician, isn’t it reasonable to dress up as my favorite character?”

”And that whip is for self-defense too, I swear!”

”Reasonable, my foot! You’re just a pervert! A narcissist! I’m sending you to the Realm-Keeping Commission!” Huohuo roared, stomping furiously on Luocha’s head.

Dan Heng coughed lightly. ”Lord Huohuo, we should focus on the task at hand. With so many Abundant creatures in Cloudford, who knows how many passersby are still trapped here. We shouldn’t waste time.”

Huohuo shot him a glare. ”I know that. There’s an exit to Cloudford up ahead, guarded by Cloud Knights. Once I get you there, follow their orders. If you need to go to the Realm-Keeping Commission, go. If you need to find the Cloud Knights’ leader, do that. Understood?”

Dan Heng sighed helplessly. ”Got it.”

...

As anomalies erupted across the Luofu, at the Seat of Divine Foresight.

Qingque stood with her hands behind her back in the grand hall, ignoring the mountain of paperwork as if it didn’t exist. If she worked ten hours a day, at least nine and a half of those hours were spent in this idle state. Just some paperwork—how could it possibly warrant the General’s personal attention?

In her view, Jing Yuan, the previous General, had been far too hands-on, causing the other five divisions of the Luofu’s Six Chariots to develop an unhealthy reliance on him. The Sky-Faring Commission had unfinished paperwork? Go get General Jing Yuan! The Artisanship Commission was short on funds? Go get General Jing Yuan! Someone at the Divination Commission was late for work? Write a report and send it to General Jing Yuan! The Alchemy Commission needed a test subject for a new drug? General Jing Yuan, as an Emanator, surely has a sturdy body—go get him!

Later, even a low-level employee’s missing cat was reported to him. No wonder Jing Yuan eventually threw in the towel and resigned.

So, Qingque resolved to learn from her predecessor’s mistakes and reform the system, fostering independence among the divisions through a major overhaul. The first step of this grand reform was mastering the art of being a slacker and offloading as much work as possible.

Anything that didn’t absolutely require her attention was delegated!

Of course, these plans were made before the Luofu started falling apart.

Now, Qingque was focused on one thing: the recent string of bizarre incidents across the Luofu.

A suspected zombie crisis in Changle Paradise, unidentified creatures appearing in Cloudford, traces of borisin activity popping up everywhere... Qingque could tell that whatever was being planned could potentially upend the Xianzhou Luofu.

Thus, as a competent General, Qingque devised the most brilliant strategy for the moment.

She pulled out her phone and dialed a number. ”Hello? Is this Mr. Jing Yuan? Hahaha, how’d you know I needed you? My super intelligence tells me it’s time to tap into your super intelligence...”