What if your Honkai Star Rail was like this?

Chapter 71: Chapter 71: March 7th: This Person Seems Kind of Silly

”Hehe... Sorry for not giving you a proper challenge, Master Bailu...” Skott sighed dejectedly and turned to leave.

His departure didn’t stir any waves. Most of the people in the tavern were busy crowding around Bailu, hoping for a photo or an autograph. Bailu, ever low-key, said helplessly, ”Everyone, no need to rush. I don’t have any urgent matters today, so feel free to ask your questions slowly...”

”Benefactor, I’m off to get Master Bailu’s autograph! Catch you later!” Guinaifen waved at Stelle and dove into the crowd.

”Hmph, it seems your friends are quite the interesting bunch, dear guest~” Tingyun chimed in at just the right moment, her soft hand resting on Stelle’s shoulder with a hint of playful reproach. ”But... this little lady has been keeping you company for so long, and you haven’t even thought about booking a room to relax?”

”You know, this little lady relies on her performance to make a living.”

Tingyun’s tone was pitiful, making Stelle’s eyelids twitch. ”Alright, alright, let’s do it. Oh, and I’ll need two rooms. Could you help me arrange that?”

Tingyun covered her lips, feigning surprise. ”Two rooms? My, my, dear guest, you sure have a lot of energy~”

Stelle’s face darkened. ”I’m going to file a complaint!”

”Hehe, don’t be mad, dear guest. I’m just teasing. Since you’re a VIP sent by the Sky-Faring Commission, all your expenses will be billed to them. Honestly, I’d be thrilled if you booked eight or ten rooms.”

...

Not long ago, at the Palace of Astrum.

The Divine Foresight General led Himeko and March 7th to a quiet room, smiling. ”Honored guests of the Astral Express, I’ve been informed of your earlier encounter. First, allow me to express my heartfelt gratitude for stepping in to save those two innocent civilians.”

”Secondly, regarding the ’Stellaron’ issue you mentioned, I regret to inform you that we cannot address it at this time.”

Himeko’s eyes narrowed slightly. ”’Cannot’? Not ’unable to’?”

The Divine Foresight General gave a noncommittal smile.

”Of course, I deeply appreciate the Astral Express’s goodwill. From this moment on, all your expenses on the Xianzhou will be... hmm, charged to the Sky-Faring Commission.”

”Additionally, I have another matter I’d like to request your assistance with.”

”What is it?” March 7th asked.

”Take a look at the VCR.” The Divine Foresight General snapped his fingers, and a projection device beside him activated, displaying a scene before the three:

—”All units, attention! Target sighted! Target sighted!”

In a pitch-black corridor, IPC employees in combat uniforms wielded laser guns, monitoring every movement with 360-degree vigilance.

”No mistakes! I repeat, no mistakes! Engage and eliminate on contact!”

The security captain periodically reminded his team, a clear sign of the terrifying figure they were about to face.

Tap, tap, tap...

But at that moment, the sound of high heels clicking echoed through the silent corridor, unhurried, almost synchronized to the rhythm of a piano piece.

A purple-clad figure emerged from the darkness, stepping into view. The IPC employees immediately aimed their weapons at the elegant, refined woman. But as they tried to pull the trigger, they were horrified to find their bodies frozen, unable to move.

The woman tilted her head slightly, her red lips curving as she spoke softly:

”Don’t be afraid. Listen to me. Are you the one who invited me?”

”...”

”You guys make promotional videos for dangerous criminals?” March 7th remarked calmly after watching the video.

Having spent so much time with Stelle, she’d picked up her habit of snarky commentary.

The Divine Foresight General shook his head. ”This wasn’t our doing. The Stellaron Hunters sent it to us themselves.”

Himeko & March 7th: ???

”What does that mean? The Stellaron Hunters sent you their own crime video? Are they taunting you?” Himeko asked.

The Divine Foresight General shook his head again. ”Not quite. Their exact words were, ’Since you’re going to put a bounty on me anyway, I’ll just send you my best photos and videos. If the wanted poster doesn’t look good, I won’t accept it!’”

March 7th & Himeko: ...

”Judging by the tone, the big sister in this video is... quite youthful at heart,” March 7th said, rubbing her forehead helplessly. ”And she feels a bit... silly.”

The Divine Foresight General laughed heartily. ”Right? I thought so too... ahem, getting off track. Back to business. The woman in the video is one of the more dangerous members of the Stellaron Hunters. Her name is Kafka, and she has a bounty of 10.8 billion credits on the IPC’s wanted list.”

”And today, Kafka appeared on Luofu soil. Therefore, I humbly request your assistance in helping the Luofu Cloud Knights apprehend her. As for the reward, I’ll take three parts, and you can have seven.”

Assist in capturing Kafka?

Upon hearing this request, March 7th and Himeko fell into a brief silence. This request... how to put it? It wasn’t part of their plan.

After all, they came to the Xianzhou to help seal the Stellaron and ensure no innocent civilians would suffer. While the Nameless weren’t opposed to doing a bit of extra good, capturing Kafka would undoubtedly be time-consuming and laborious.

Seeing their hesitation, the Divine Foresight General clapped his hands. ”Oh, right, I forgot to show you another video. One moment.”

The projection flickered, revealing a selfie video of Kafka:

”Hi~ Stelle, long time no see. I wonder if you’ve missed me even a little after being gone so long. (Glances back.) Hehe, I recorded this secretly behind Firefly’s back, or that jealous girl would be sharpening her knife again.”

Kafka propped her chin, looking deep in thought, then suddenly pointed a finger. ”Oh, right, I almost forgot—you don’t remember me anymore... But that’s okay. As long as you’re on the Luofu, we’ll have a chance to meet. I hope you’ll still have just a teensy (draws out the word) bit of an impression of me, or I’ll be heartbroken.”

”Mua! ( ˘ ³˘)♥ (Blows a kiss to the camera.) See you then!”

”...”

The video ended.

The Divine Foresight General stroked his chin. ”This ’Stelle’ must be your companion, right? While there’s no clear malice toward her in this video, it’s always better to be prepared...”

Himeko nodded slightly. ”That’s a fair point. What do you think, Little March?”

”I’m in!” March 7th declared firmly. ”Hmph, this cutesy-acting bad woman—I’ll make her regret it!”

The Divine Foresight General clapped enthusiastically. ”Thank you both. I’ll send people to assist you immediately.”

”But—” March 7th pivoted sharply, ”if Stelle were here, there’s one thing she definitely wouldn’t accept.”

The Divine Foresight General raised an eyebrow. ”What’s that?”

”If Stelle were here, she’d definitely say, ’Kafka’s bounty? A three-seven split won’t do—I want two-eight!’”

”Achoo!”

On the other side, Stelle sneezed out of nowhere. She glanced around instinctively, feeling something off. ”...Why do I feel like someone’s talking about me behind my back?”

”Dear guest~ Why are you still standing there? Don’t tell me you want this little lady to warm your bed~ If you insist, it’s not entirely out of the question...”

”No, no, no! Miss Tingyun, stop it! Let me handle this!”