The Forsaken Hero

I retreated a step, hiding my hands behind my back. ”I...I didn’t mean to,” I mumbled, staring at the ground. He wasn’t mad, was he?

”Didn’t mean to?” He took a breath, and the journal disappeared into his spatial ring. He ran a hand over his horn. ”Gah, what would you even want with something like that?”

”Is it okay if I read it?”

He stared at me for a long moment, his lips parted like a gulping fish. ”You read it?”

I ducked my head. ”I’m sorry?”

He let out a groan, dropping into my chair with a heavy thud, burying his face in his hands. ”Oh gods, Xiv. Why?”

”I was curious,” I mumbled. ”I wanted to know...I wanted to know about you. Before everything.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. ”You can’t go around reading people’s journals, Xiv. They’re supposed to be private.”

”I know. I’m sorry,” I whispered, hugging myself. ”I shouldn’t have. It’s just...I wanted to understand you.”

He let out a bitter chuckle. ”And now you do, I suppose? I can’t imagine what you must think of me now.”

My tail stilled, and I looked up, a knot in my stomach. He was looking at the floor, his tail pooled limply at his feet. He looked...sad. Embarrassed, but sad.

”Luke,” I said, pulling his hands out of his lap, making room for myself. I siddled onto his lap, sitting sideways, and took his hand, pulling his arm around me. He didn’t resist, tentatively looking at me as I curled my tail around his waist. ”I love you.”

His fingers curled, gripping my skirt. ”Xiviyah, that isn’t--”

”I love you,” I repeated, more insistently, taking his face in my hands, not letting him look away. ”And it was reading your journal that made me understand just how much. It showed me everything you lost, everything you fought for, even knowing you couldn’t save it. I’m so glad you made a small place for me in your heart, amid the darkness.”

He flinched as I caressed his cheek.

”You want to know what I think of you now?” I whispered.

He swallowed hard, his knuckles whitening.

”Then listen to me. I already told you, silly. I love you.”

I leaned up, kissing his cheek. He shivered as my lips brushed against him.

It wasn’t enough. My tail flicked against him as I tilted his head, closing my eyes and leaning up again. This time, I found his lips, pressing my own gently against them. They drew me into him, softer and warmer than I imagined. A soft gasp escaped him, and his hand rose, cupping my cheek, holding me to him. I rested my hand on his chest, not to push away, but to steady myself, to feel his heartbeat against my fingertips.

I pulled back just enough to breathe, our lips still almost touching. His violet eyes fluttered open, and the shock in them sent a thrill through my soul. I’d never seen him so vulnerable, so lost.

”Xiviyah...”

”Say it back,” I urged, my own voice barely a thread.

”Xiv...” he started, but I shook my head, pressing a finger to his lips.

”Tell me you love me,” I whispered, my eyes searching his. ”Please.”

He closed his eyes, a tremor running through him. When he opened them again, they didn’t waver.

”I love you,” he said, the words clear and sure, as he pulled me into a proper kiss.

His hands moved from my cheek to the back of my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair as he drew me closer. I melted against him, a soft sigh escaping my lips. The world outside my small cabin, the coming battle, the fate of Ornth—it all faded away. There was only him, the warmth of his body, the gentleness of his touch. Even when our lips parted, I just snuggled against him, resting my head against his chest. Behind held was all I really wanted.

And hold me, he did, until my eyes were heavy, and tail limp with content. He idly caressed my back, soothing me into a state of half-slumber. I lost track of time, of being, floating in the darkness and warmth, conscious of only his touch.

”I should finally get going. It’s late.” It took me a few seconds to register his voice, alarm spiking through the haze. Was I just dreaming it? He wasn’t actually leaving me, was he?

”Don’t,” I mumbled, only semi-conscious, clutching his shirt. ”Don’t go.”

He was quiet for a long moment before he let out a sigh. ”I don’t think Korra would appreciate me being here alone with you this late.”

I squirmed in protest, grasping his shirt, but he rose, effortlessly lifting me in his arms. He lay me on the bed, pressed a kiss to my forehead, then backed away.

”Please...please don’t leave me.” I had enough reason to know I was being unreasonable, but...tears welled up in my eyes, and I reached for him. ”I don’t want to be alone again.”

He took my hand, and I sank in relief. But just as quickly, he let my hand fall limply to the sheets.

”Please, don’t cry. You’re just tired, I’m not really leaving you.” His voice trembled slightly, his legs stiff as he turned and left my side. ”I’ll see you in the morning. I’m not going anywhere. But if I stay here any longer, with you looking at me like that...even I have my limits.” he shook his head, turning quickly. ” Goodnight, little star.”

The latch clicked shut with a finality that echoed in the empty room. I lay there, tears seeping down my cheeks, curled into a ball. Unsure if I was awake or asleep, perhaps somewhere in between. Just conscious enough to feel sad, but not to have any real reason why. I should have been happy. I’d finally kissed Luke, and he’d held me for a long time. It was enough. And he promised he’d be there in the morning!

”Luke...” I whispered. A tear trickled down my cheek, disappearing into the pillow. ”Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

At some point, I really did drift off to sleep, finding it remarkably quiet and peaceful. There were no visions or even dreams, just peace.

I awoke the next morning to find Fable had somehow gotten into my room and was lounging at the side of my bed. His ears pricked as I sat up with a yawn, rubbing my bleary eyes.

”Good morning,” I said, sliding off the bed.

He whined, his tail wagging as he followed me around insistently, until I finally gave up getting dressed and scratched his ears.

”You weren’t worried about me, were you? Last night was wonderful,” I said, hugging his neck. It was big enough that I couldn’t quite get my arms all the way around, but he was impossibly soft and warm. Just like Luke.

The thought sharpened a few of my hazy memories of the night before, and I smiled bashfully, my tail swishing. I pulled back, bouncing a little. ”I kissed Luke. I really did it!”

He licked my cheek, causing me to giggle. But he stopped nudging me, letting me run a comb through my hair a few times before I pulled on my boots and left my cabin. The ship was cold and drafty, an icy breeze winding around my bare legs.

”Brrr, autumn already?” I muttered to Fable, hugging myself tightly. I had half a mind to retreat back into my room, already regretting my decision to wear a heartland dress. But I settled for a spell. The same ruffled skirt that was too short to keep the wind out was also the most free garment I had. My other dresses were too restrictive.

The morning sun had just broken over the trees, blinding me as I stepped out onto the deck. The Starguard were already there, as was Luke. He turned as he sensed my aura, breaking into a grin. But it quickly faltered, a shiver running down his tail.

”Er, Xiviyah,” he said, forcing a smile. ”Good morning.”

”Good morning,” I said, taking his hand in mine, smiling up at him.

He studied me, his tail twitching slightly. Why was he looking at me like that?

”Is something the matter?” I asked, looking down at myself, suddenly self-conscious. ”You’re looking at me funny.”

”You...don’t remember?” His expression softened with relief, but then panic. ”You don’t remember? Last night?”

Heat flooded my face as the Starguard stiffened, staring at us askance. ”L-Luke! We just, er...kissed.”

Luxxa sagged, looking relieved, while Jenna seemed disappointed, for some reason.

”I meant after that,” Luke said, frowning.

”After...after what?” I asked, my stomach fluttering with unease. I barely remembered anything else from the night before. I’d given him his journal back and worked up the courage to kiss him. Or rather, I had to kiss him, so he would understand how much he meant to me. And then he held me in his lap, and we....what happened next?

My stomach dropped at the thought. What had happened? Luxxa stared at us in alarm, but I barely noticed her, gripping Luke’s sleeve tightly.

”You were already half asleep, so I guess it’s no surprise you don’t remember,” he said with a smile that reached his eyes this time. He caressed my cheek, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear. ”You were just feeling a little lonely, is all. But see? I’m here, just like I promised I would be.”

I blushed as he patted my head, pushing him away as he ruffled my hair. But my tail, which had been twitching bashfully, slowed as I finally remembered the overwhelming feelings of sorrow and emptiness he’d left me in. I lowered my head, biting my lip. His words felt a little more hollow now.

”My Lady!” a voice cried, causing me to grab Luke’s arm, startled. ”We’ve received the order to move out! All hands, prepare to approach the capital!”