The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 306: Chapter 306 - Nobody Slept

Roxie knew the morning was going to suck before she even opened her eyes properly.

Her alarm had already gone off twice, and when she finally reached for her phone, she stared at the time with one eye barely open and seriously considered whether school was worth getting out of bed for. Her eyes burned, her body felt heavy, and when she stretched one leg beneath the blanket, the ache running through her made her squeeze her eyes shut again.

Fuck.

She had absolutely no idea what time she and Zac had finally fallen asleep.

Then she heard humming from the kitchen.

Roxie’s eyes narrowed against the pillow.

Actual fucking humming.

She stayed there for several seconds listening to the quiet tune drift down the hallway, waiting for it to stop. It didn’t. Apparently somebody in her house had enough energy to get out of bed, cook breakfast and be cheerful about existing.

Roxie pushed herself upright with a groan and dragged both hands through her hair before forcing herself toward the kitchen. By the time she got there, her shirt was twisted slightly at her waist, her hair was everywhere and she was still blinking like the lights had personally offended her.

Zac was standing at the stove.

Humming.

Roxie stopped in the doorway and slowly folded her arms.

His hair was still messy from sleep, but somehow that only made him look better. He was already dressed and moving around the kitchen with an irritating looseness in his shoulders while breakfast cooked, like he had woken up after the most relaxing night of his life instead of staying awake with her for half of it.

He looked happy.

Way too fucking happy.

Zac glanced over and smiled immediately when he saw her. ”Morning, babe.”

Roxie stared.

His eyes moved over her face and paused briefly beneath her eyes before returning to hers. Something shifted in his expression. It was tiny, just one corner of his mouth trying to lift higher, but Roxie caught it before he turned toward the stove.

Her eyes narrowed.

”I’m tired.”

”I bet you are.”

The answer slipped out too easily.

Then Zac froze.

Roxie’s eyebrows rose.

Very slowly, Zac pressed his lips together and focused on the eggs like they had suddenly become extremely important.

Roxie stared at the side of his face. His jaw tightened slightly, and for a second he almost managed to look completely normal.

Then his mouth twitched.

”You better fucking stop.”

”I’m cooking.”

”You’re smiling.”

Zac shook his head once, still facing the stove. ”I’m not.”

The corner of his mouth lifted again.

He immediately rubbed his lips together.

Roxie felt her own mouth twitch now. ”Oh my God. You’re a fucking asshole.”

Zac finally looked at her with an expression that was obviously supposed to be neutral, but the second his eyes landed on her tired face, satisfaction flashed through them again. His mouth started curving before he caught himself and looked away.

”I’m sorry.”

Roxie nearly laughed. ”You’re fucking terrible at lying.”

”I’m sorry you’re tired.”

He sounded sincere enough, which might have worked if he wasn’t fighting another smile while saying it.

Roxie walked farther into the kitchen, watching him closely. ”You’re proud.”

Zac’s eyebrows lifted. ”Of what?”

”You know what.”

”I really don’t.”

”Look at you.”

He turned back toward breakfast and pressed his mouth into a line again.

That made her want to laugh even more.

He was actually trying. That was the funny part. Zac clearly knew looking pleased with himself while his exhausted girlfriend could barely keep her eyes open was probably a bad idea, but every time he looked at her, that stupid satisfaction came back before he could hide it.

Roxie dropped into a chair and rested her cheek against one hand. ”I feel like shit and you’re over there humming.”

Zac cleared his throat.

Roxie’s eyes narrowed. ”You’re doing it again.”

”I stopped humming.”

”Your face is still humming.”

The words left her mouth before she thought about them.

Zac turned toward her.

Roxie frowned. ”I’m tired. You know what I meant.”

His shoulders started shaking.

”Fuck you.”

That finally broke him. Zac laughed as he turned back toward the stove, and Roxie had to press her lips together because his laugh was dragging hers out too.

This was irritating.

She wanted to be annoyed. She deserved to be annoyed. Her eyes felt like they had weights attached to them while Zac looked like somebody had charged him overnight.

But seeing him this fucking pleased was also doing something stupidly warm to her chest.

He was happy because of her.

Smug as hell, apparently, but happy.

Zac put breakfast onto a plate and carried it over. Roxie watched him visibly arrange his expression before reaching the table. His mouth flattened, his eyes dropped toward the plate and he set it in front of her with an almost serious little nod.

Roxie looked up.

Zac looked back.

His lips twitched.

Roxie burst out laughing.

Zac dropped his head. ”Fuck.”

”You can’t even do it.”

”I’m trying.”

”That’s what makes it worse.”

”I actually am sorry you’re tired.”

Roxie wiped beneath one eye and looked at him again. ”But?”

”There’s no but.”

She waited.

Zac pulled out the chair across from her and sat down, keeping his eyes on his own breakfast for several seconds.

Then he looked at her.

The smile came back.

Roxie kicked him lightly beneath the table.

”Ow.”

”You deserved that.”

”I didn’t say anything.”

”You don’t have to. You look like you want a fucking medal.”

Zac laughed again, lowering his head while Roxie finally picked up her fork.

She hated how close she was to smiling too.

”You’re disgusting.”

”I said I’m sorry.”

”No, you’re sorry you got caught smiling.”

That made his mouth twitch again.

Roxie pointed her fork at him. ”See?”

Zac looked down and started eating.

For maybe a minute, the kitchen stayed quiet.

Then the humming came back.

Soft.

Almost absentminded.

Roxie stopped chewing.

Zac kept eating like he had no idea he was doing it.

Her eyes narrowed, but the smile came anyway this time.

Asshole.

She looked down before he saw it.

Breakfast helped enough that Roxie felt slightly more human by the time she finished. Zac cleaned while she went to get ready, and when she stood in front of the bathroom mirror, she finally understood why he had been looking beneath her eyes.

The bags were horrible.

Roxie leaned closer. ”Jesus Christ.”

She grabbed concealer and started working on the damage, but even after covering most of it, she still looked tired. She stared at herself for another moment and remembered how many times she had told Zac they needed sleep before both of them apparently decided sleep was optional.

Her mouth twitched.

No.

She wasn’t giving him the satisfaction.

Zac appeared behind her in the mirror while grabbing something from the bedroom, and Roxie immediately saw his eyes move toward her reflection.

She threw the makeup sponge.

Zac caught it against his chest and laughed.

”You’re so annoying.”

He put the sponge on the dresser. ”You ready?”

”No.”

”We have school.”

”I know.”

Zac picked up his bag while Roxie fixed the last piece of her hair. When she turned around, he was watching her again, except the smugness had softened. His gaze moved over her face and his mouth curved slightly.

”What?”

”You look pretty.”

Roxie blinked.

That got her far more effectively than all his stupid smiling.

She looked away and grabbed her bag. ”I look dead.”

”You still look pretty.”

Warmth moved into her cheeks. ”Okay. Leave.”

Zac laughed quietly and followed her out.

The walk through the cemetery was slower than usual because Roxie genuinely didn’t have the energy to hurry. Zac held her hand while they walked and occasionally rubbed his thumb across her fingers, while Roxie let herself lean slightly closer to him without commenting on it.

When they got closer to the cemetery gate, Roxie slowed and glanced toward the road beyond it. There were only a few more days until Sweetheart, but those few days still mattered.

”Stay here.”

Zac exhaled through his nose. ”Again.”

”Few more days.”

”I know.”

He hated it. Roxie could see it in the slight shift of his jaw while he looked toward the gate, but he stayed where she asked him to.

Roxie stepped closer and kissed him.

It was supposed to be quick.

Zac’s hand came around her waist and held her there, and Roxie stayed for several seconds before pushing lightly against his chest.

”School.”

”I know.”

”Then let go.”

His mouth brushed hers once more before he released her.

Roxie turned away quickly before he decided one more kiss meant five more.

By the time she reached Briarwick, the tiredness had settled behind her eyes again. The hallway was already filling with students, and Roxie moved through them thinking about coffee, getting through class and whether she could somehow lie down during lunch without Karen taking pictures of her.

Then she saw Angela.

Roxie stopped.

Angela had just come around the corner holding a large coffee in one hand. She looked at Roxie, slowed and stopped too.

For a moment neither said anything.

Roxie’s gaze moved over her.

Angela looked tired.

Really fucking tired.

Her hair was done, but quicker than usual, and beneath her eyes were unmistakable dark circles that made the coffee in her hand look less like a choice and more like life support.

Roxie’s brain immediately supplied an image of Caleb standing in the pharmacy.

The condom aisle.

The box in his hand.

Oh, fuck.

Her mouth started twitching.

Then Angela’s eyes moved over Roxie’s face.

Roxie saw the exact moment Angela noticed her eyes too.

Both of them went still.

Roxie suddenly became very aware that whatever she was thinking about Angela, Angela could probably wonder the exact same thing about her.

Angela lifted her coffee and took a drink without looking away.

Roxie swallowed the laugh.

”Morning.”

”Morning.”

They stared for another second before Roxie turned toward her locker.

She should have left it there.

Instead, while opening her locker, she heard herself ask, ”Did you sleep?”

Angela went quiet beside her.

Roxie closed her eyes for half a second.

Why the fuck did she ask that?

”A little.”

Roxie nodded while pretending to search for a book. ”Same.”

”Really?”

Roxie looked at her.

Angela looked directly beneath Roxie’s eyes.

Roxie’s gaze dropped toward Angela’s.

Neither said anything.

Angela took another drink of coffee.

Roxie felt laughter crawling up her throat again.

”Those bags are really something,” Angela said.

Roxie squinted at her. ”Bitch, have you seen yourself?”

”I know.”

That answer killed whatever Roxie had been preparing to say.

She turned back toward her locker and started moving things around. The whole thing might have been manageable if Caleb hadn’t been stuck in her head every time she looked at Angela.

Then Angela checked her phone and sighed.

”Caleb kept me up late.”

Roxie’s hand froze around her chemistry book.

Her eyes slowly closed.

No.

She really didn’t need that sentence.

Angela continued scrolling like she had said something completely normal while Roxie’s brain threw itself directly back into the condom aisle.

A tiny sound escaped her.

Angela looked over.

Then she grinned.

Roxie stared.

”What?”

Angela’s grin widened. ”Caleb told me everything.”

Roxie went completely still.

Then her eyes widened.

”He told you?”

”Last night.”

Roxie covered her mouth, but the laugh came anyway. ”Oh my God.”

Angela started laughing too.

Roxie leaned slightly against the locker, trying to keep her voice down. ”That was the worst fucking coincidence of my life.”

”He came back looking traumatized.”

That made Roxie laugh harder.

”He should be. I was traumatized.”

Angela wiped beneath one eye. ”He said neither of you knew what to say.”

”We didn’t. I wanted to die.”

Angela laughed again.

Roxie looked at her tired face and immediately remembered the rest of the problem.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. ”And FYI, TMI.”

Angela stared back with completely dead eyes.

Roxie lasted half a second before giggling.

”You bad girl.”

Angela’s mouth twitched. ”Look who’s talking.”

Roxie’s face warmed.

”Fuck off.”

”I guess we both suck.”

That sent them both laughing again.

Karen arrived while they were still trying to stop. She came toward them with her bag over one shoulder, said something about nearly being late, then slowed when neither Roxie nor Angela answered properly.

Karen looked at Angela.

Then Roxie.

Her eyebrows pulled together. ”Why do both of you look like shit, and what’s funny?”

Roxie looked at Angela.

Angela looked back.

That nearly started them again.

Karen’s eyes narrowed. ”Okay. What?”

”Nothing,” Roxie said.

”Nothing,” Angela said almost at the same time.

Karen stared.

Roxie immediately knew they had made that worse.

”Did neither of you sleep?”

Angela took another drink.

Roxie adjusted her bag. ”Can we go to class?”

Karen started walking beside them, but Roxie could feel her looking at her.

She ignored it.

For several seconds.

Then Karen leaned closer. ”Zac?”

Roxie nearly tripped.

Her eyes snapped toward Angela.

Angela saw it.

Then Angela’s mouth twitched.

Roxie glared at her before lowering her voice toward Karen. ”Shut up.”

Karen’s grin opened immediately.

Roxie could practically see her imagination getting worse as her eyes moved toward the dark circles beneath Roxie’s eyes.

”Stop.”

Karen pressed her lips together.

Then her attention shifted toward Angela.

Angela yawned.

Karen’s eyebrows rose.

Roxie saw the exact moment she started wondering.

Oh, no.

Karen looked from Angela to Roxie.

Angela looked toward Roxie.

Roxie almost laughed again.

Karen slowed. ”What the fuck am I missing?”

”Nothing,” Roxie said automatically.

The word left her mouth before she thought about it.

Something tightened briefly in her stomach.

Nothing.

That wasn’t true.

She had promised herself she was done lying to people she cared about, and there she was doing it automatically again because it was easier than explaining.

Roxie looked toward Angela.

But this wasn’t only her story.

Caleb had told Angela because it involved them. That didn’t suddenly make whatever he had been buying at the pharmacy Karen’s business. Roxie could tell Karen her own shit when she wanted to.

Caleb’s could stay Caleb’s.

The thought settled enough that Roxie kept walking instead of panicking over one stupid word.

Angela finally looked up from her phone. ”What are you two doing?”

”Karen’s being nosy.”

”I’m standing here.”

”And being nosy.”

Karen snorted. ”You two are acting weird.”

Roxie adjusted her bag. ”We’re tired.”

”That explains your faces. It doesn’t explain whatever this is.”

Angela smiled into her coffee.

Roxie saw it and almost laughed again.

Karen caught that too.

”See!”

”Can we please go to class?” Roxie asked.

They continued toward the classroom, and Angela started talking about Sweetheart, mostly ticket sales and something Noah needed to finish before the event.

Roxie tried listening.

She genuinely did.

Angela got maybe halfway through explaining something about Student Council before Roxie realized she had absorbed absolutely none of it.

Her eyes felt heavy again. Her brain felt like it was moving several seconds behind everything around her, and Karen was still occasionally glancing between her and Angela like she intended to solve some mystery nobody had invited her into.

Roxie rubbed beneath one eye and tried focusing on whatever Angela was saying.

Nothing registered.

Damn it.

This day was absolutely not getting better.