The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 219: Chapter 219 - No Answer

Roxie entered the gym already tired.

Her legs had felt heavy since she climbed out of bed, and the feeling had followed her through the walk to school, every class, and the trip to the locker room. She had blamed the lack of sleep, but sitting down between classes had done nothing.

Zac had missed Chemistry.

He had not answered any of her messages.

Mason claimed he knew nothing, and Dylan had told her to give Zac time. Nobody would tell her where he was or what had happened.

Coach Miller started the music, and the team moved through the opening counts.

On the second attempt, Fiona landed too close to Karen and stepped outside her mark.

Roxie stopped. ”Fiona.”

”I know. I moved too far.”

”Watch your mark.”

”Okay.”

Fiona returned to her place without arguing. Coach Miller restarted the music, and they moved through the tumbling section before reaching the first stunt.

Roxie entered early.

Angela caught the shift before Karen’s weight moved too far, and Coach Miller stopped the music immediately.

”Everybody down.”

Karen returned safely to the floor and rubbed one hand over her wrist.

Roxie’s stomach tightened as Coach Miller walked toward her.

”What happened?”

”I went early.”

”I saw that.”

Roxie glanced toward her bag near the bleachers. Coach Miller followed her eyes.

”Put the phone away.”

”It is away.”

”You’ve checked it every time we reset.”

”I’m waiting for a call.”

”And Karen almost hit the floor.”

”She didn’t.”

”Because Angela caught it.”

Roxie looked toward Angela, but Angela pressed her lips together and lowered her eyes. Karen rotated her wrist once before returning to her position without saying anything.

Coach Miller pointed toward the locker room. ”Put the phone in your locker.”

Roxie crossed the mat and grabbed her bag. Before carrying it away, she checked the screen again.

There was still nothing.

No missed call. No message.

Zac had read the first message she sent that morning. The rest still showed as delivered.

Roxie opened their conversation and stared at the last thing she had written.

Where are you?

She locked the screen, shoved the phone into the deepest pocket, and zipped the bag closed before pushing it inside her locker.

When she returned, Fiona gave her a small smile.

”You okay?”

Roxie stopped. ”What?”

”You look worried.”

”I’m fine.”

”I was just asking.”

”Then worry about your count.”

Fiona’s smile disappeared. ”Okay.”

She moved back into formation.

Heat climbed into Roxie’s face. Fiona had only been trying to help, and Roxie knew that, but apologizing would make everyone look at her longer. They might notice her shaking hands or ask another question she could not answer.

Coach Miller restarted the music.

Roxie counted louder, forcing every number past the pressure in her throat. She watched every hand, foot, and shoulder around her because correcting the team gave her less room to think about Zac.

They reached the second transition.

Fiona missed the turn again.

Roxie stopped before Coach Miller reached the sound system.

”Fiona, seriously?”

Fiona turned toward her. ”I missed one step.”

”You keep missing the same things.”

”I know. I’m sorry.”

”You’ve been sorry all practice.”

Fiona stared at her, and the concern she had shown earlier disappeared.

”I said I’ll fix it.”

”When?”

The gym went quiet.

Fiona folded her arms. ”Why are you only yelling at me?”

”Because you keep messing up.”

”So is everybody else.”

”I’m talking to you.”

”Yeah. I noticed.”

Roxie stepped closer. ”State is in a few days. Stay on count.”

”And you need to get off my back.”

Karen moved between them. ”Both of you, stop.”

Fiona looked around Karen at Roxie. ”I asked if you were okay, and you acted like I did something to you. I said sorry every time I messed up. What else do you want?”

”I want you to get the routine right.”

”So get yours right too.”

Roxie’s shoulders stiffened. ”I made one mistake.”

”And almost dropped Karen.”

”I know what I did.”

”Then worry about that instead of watching me every second.”

Roxie tried to step around Karen, but Coach Miller crossed the mat before she reached Fiona.

”Enough. Fiona, take five. Roxie, come here.”

Fiona grabbed her water bottle. ”Gladly.”

Roxie followed Coach Miller toward the bleachers with her arms folded across her chest. Her hands would not stop shaking, so she pushed them beneath her arms and held them there.

Coach Miller waited until Karen began reviewing the counts with the rest of the team.

”What’s going on with you today?”

”Nothing.”

”You nearly messed up a stunt, you’ve been staring at your phone, and you kept picking at Fiona until she snapped.”

”She kept making mistakes.”

”So did you.”

”I know the routine.”

”Then where are you?”

Roxie shifted her weight. Her shoes felt tight. Everything felt tight.

She looked toward the locker room even though her phone was too far away to hear.

Coach Miller studied her face for several seconds, and his expression changed.

Roxie knew where his mind went before he spoke.

”Is this about your mom?”

Her arms tightened. ”What?”

”You’ve been pushing through everything since you came back. Maybe today is worse.”

”It isn’t about my mom.”

”I’m asking.”

”Well, it isn’t.”

Coach Miller glanced at her hands. Roxie pressed them harder against her sides.

”You haven’t eaten.”

”I’m fine.”

”You look like you barely slept.”

”I slept.”

”How much?”

Roxie looked toward the floor.

She had gone to bed before midnight, but she had watched the ceiling until after three. Every time a vehicle passed the bungalow, she sat up and listened until the sound disappeared.

”Enough,” she said.

Coach Miller sat on the edge of the bleacher and rested his forearms against his thighs.

”Did something happen between you and Zac?”

”Nothing.”

Roxie picked at a loose thread near her sleeve.

”Whatever happened,” Coach Miller said, ”it still doesn’t give you a reason to tear Fiona apart.”

Roxie looked toward the wall.

Fiona stood with her arms folded while Angela spoke quietly beside her.

”She kept messing up.”

”She apologized.”

”She did it again.”

”So did you.”

Roxie pressed her lips together.

Coach Miller stood. ”Finish practice. Let Angela watch the stunt, and leave Fiona alone.”

Roxie nodded once.

They finished the routine without stopping again.

Roxie counted every beat. Her body moved through the choreography from memory, but everything felt slower than it should have. Her thighs burned during the jumps, and her arms felt weak when she lifted Karen’s foot.

By the final count, sweat ran between her shoulder blades.

The routine still looked worse than it had the week before.

Part of that belonged to Roxie.

Coach Miller dismissed them, and Fiona picked up her bag.

Roxie expected her to leave, but Fiona stopped several feet away.

”I really was trying to help earlier.”

Roxie sat on the lowest bleacher and tightened the laces around one shoe. ”I know.”

”Then why were you acting like I was trying to ruin practice?”

”I wasn’t.”

”You were on me for everything.”

”State is close.”

”It’s close for all of us.”

Roxie pulled the knot harder until the lace cut into her fingers.

Fiona watched her for another moment. ”Whatever is happening with you and Zac isn’t my fault.”

”I never said it was.”

”You didn’t have to.”

Fiona pulled her bag onto her shoulder.

Roxie stared at the knot in her shoe. She wanted to apologize, but the words stayed behind her teeth.

By the time she looked up, Fiona had already walked out.

Karen sat beside Roxie while Angela remained standing nearby.

”You were hard on her,” Karen said.

”She kept messing up.”

”So did you. Some of us did too.”

”I know.”

Karen watched her until Roxie finally looked up.

”What?”

”You know she dated Zac.”

Roxie rolled her eyes. ”Four girls on this team dated Zac.”

”Yeah, but Fiona was this year.”

”So?”

”She was one of the latest.”

”That had nothing to do with it.”

Karen leaned back against the bleacher. ”Maybe.”

”I wasn’t thinking about her dating him.”

”Okay.”

”Stop saying it like that.”

”Like what?”

”Like you think I’m lying.”

Karen rubbed both hands over her knees. ”I think you’re freaking out because Zac disappeared, and Fiona was standing there being nice.”

”That makes no sense.”

”You knew she wouldn’t snap right away.”

Roxie shoved one shoe into her bag. ”She snapped.”

”After you kept pushing her.”

Roxie looked toward the gym doors.

Fiona was already gone.

Angela stepped closer. ”Call him.”

”He isn’t answering.”

”Call again.”

”I sent messages.”

”Then leave a voicemail.”

Roxie pulled off her other shoe. The knot had tightened during practice, and her fingers felt too weak to loosen it at first.

”What am I supposed to say?”

”The truth,” Angela said.

”That I spent all day asking his friends where he is?”

”Yeah.”

”That sounds insane.”

Karen looked at her. ”You skipped lunch, almost messed up a stunt, and nearly started a fight with Fiona.”

Roxie looked down at her hands. Half moon marks covered her palms where her nails had pressed into them.

”I just need to know what happened.”

”Then say that,” Angela said.

Roxie shoved the second shoe into her bag and stood too quickly. The gym shifted slightly, and she caught the edge of the bleacher.

Karen reached for her elbow. ”When did you last eat?”

”I ate.”

”When?”

Roxie pulled her arm away. ”I’m going home.”

”Roxie.”

”What?”

Karen lowered her voice. ”Maybe something happened with his parents. Give him a chance to tell you.”

”He knows I’m worried.”

”I know.”

”He could send one message.”

Angela nodded. ”Yeah. He could.”

Roxie picked up her bag. The weight pulled at her shoulder.

The idea of food made her feel tired. Her stomach was empty enough to cramp, but hunger felt far away compared with everything else.

She left the gym.

The parking lot was almost empty, but Dylan’s vehicle remained near the far side.

Roxie walked toward it quickly, holding her bag against her side. Dylan stood near the driver’s door with his phone against his ear, and he ended the call when he saw her.

”Was that Zac?”

”No.”

”You’re a bad liar.”

Dylan put the phone into his pocket.

Roxie stopped in front of him. ”Tell me where he is.”

”I can’t.”

”Is he with you?”

Dylan rubbed his forehead. ”Give him tonight.”

”You said that this morning.”

”I know.”

”He skipped Chemistry. Mason knows something. You know something. I’ve been worried all day, and none of you will tell me anything.”

”He’s safe.”

Roxie stared at him. ”Safe?”

”Yeah.”

”Is he hurt?”

Dylan’s eyes shifted toward the road.

Her stomach dropped.

”Dylan.”

”He’s okay.”

”That isn’t the same answer.”

”He got into some shit. He’s okay now.”

”With his dad?”

Dylan looked away again.

Roxie stepped closer. ”What happened?”

”He needs to tell you.”

”Why?”

”Because it’s his business.”

”I’m his girlfriend.”

”I know.”

”He knows I’ve been looking for him?”

Dylan rubbed the back of his neck. ”Yeah.”

”He knows I’m worried?”

”Yeah.”

The fear that had followed Roxie all day shifted inside her. Her shoulders straightened, and her jaw began aching from how hard she pressed her teeth together.

”And he still won’t call?”

”He’s embarrassed.”

”So?”

”He doesn’t want you seeing him like this.”

”Like what?”

Dylan looked past her. ”I already said more than I should.”

”He’s hurt.”

Dylan said nothing.

”How bad?”

”He’s walking. He’s talking. He’s being an asshole. He’s fine.”

Roxie stared at him.

Zac was safe. He was awake. He had spoken to Dylan and Mason.

He knew Roxie had searched for him all day, and he had still chosen to leave her waiting.

”Tell me where he is.”

”I can’t.”

”Then tell him I’m pissed.”

Dylan’s mouth moved like he almost smiled, but one look at her face stopped him.

”I’ll tell him.”

”This isn’t funny.”

”I know.”

”He said he’d see me today.”

”I know.”

”He always does this. He decides what I can handle, then disappears.”

Dylan opened the driver’s door, but Roxie caught the edge before he could climb inside.

”Tell him to call me.”

”I will.”

”Today.”

”I’ll tell him.”

”You promise?”

”Yeah.”

Roxie released the door.

Dylan started to get inside, then stopped.

”He isn’t staying away because he stopped caring.”

Roxie’s throat tightened, but her hand stayed closed around the strap of her bag.

”Then he needs to stop acting like it.”

Dylan nodded. ”Fair.”

He climbed into the vehicle and drove away.

Roxie remained in the parking lot until his taillights disappeared.

She was still worried, but the worry had hardened into anger.

Zac knew she waited when people disappeared. He knew she kept waiting long after she should have stopped.

He had still left her to search the school for him.

Roxie walked home beneath the darkening sky. Her legs ached from practice, and her empty stomach cramped beneath her coat.

The bungalow was silent when she entered.

She left the lights off and dropped her bag beside the couch.

Yesterday’s glass remained on the coffee table. An unopened school packet sat beneath it, and a basket of clean laundry waited near the hallway where she had left it two days earlier.

Zac’s old football shirt hung over the arm of the couch.

Roxie’s shoulders slowly dropped.

She pulled out her phone and called him.

The call rang until his voicemail answered.

This time, she waited for the tone.

”Zac, Dylan told me you’re safe.”

Roxie walked toward the couch and lowered herself onto the edge.

”I’ve been worried all day while you’ve been talking to everybody except me.”

Her fingers tightened around the phone.

”You said you’d see me. You knew I’d wait.”

Her voice began shaking, and Roxie pressed her free hand against her mouth until she could speak again.

”I’m glad you’re okay, but I’m pissed now. You could’ve sent one message. Just one.”

She wiped beneath her eyes with the heel of her hand.

”Call me. I don’t care what you look like or what happened. Stop making Dylan and Mason talk for you.”

Roxie ended the call and placed the phone on the coffee table.

Her stomach cramped again.

She looked toward the kitchen. There was food in the refrigerator but getting up felt harder than staying hungry.

Roxie sat forward with both elbows against her knees and watched the dark screen.

She told herself she would wait five minutes before eating.

Five minutes passed.

Then another five.

The bungalow stayed quiet.

Roxie remained on the couch and waited for the phone to ring.