The Captain's Dirty Little Secret

Chapter 208: Chapter 208 - Four Streets Away

Zac’s POV

Zac drove away from the Robinson house.

His own house appeared again within a few minutes.

Too soon.

He parked the truck near the side of the garage and remained behind the wheel.

The Robinson house was four streets behind him.

He could turn around.

Roxie would probably still be helping Jason fix the plastic dinosaur. She might look annoyed when she saw the truck again, but she would come outside. Zac could kiss her properly and stop pretending he needed distance.

His phone stayed quiet in his pocket.

Zac switched off the engine.

He slipped the key into his sweatshirt pocket and entered through the front door.

His mother sat in the living room with a cup of coffee on the table beside her. Her back was straight, and her hands rested neatly across her lap.

She looked composed.

That was usually worse than when she shouted.

”Where did you go?”

Zac closed the door. ”Do you really want to know, or are you waiting to tell me something?”

His mother looked at him for several seconds. Part of her stiff Botox expression twitched.

Zac was almost impressed.

”Your father is giving up on you.”

He stopped near the hallway and laughed. ”Didn’t he give up a long time ago?”

”That is no way to speak about your father.”

Zac pushed both hands into his sweatshirt pocket. ”If this is about the academy, you know my answer.”

”I know what that girl wants.”

”Leave her out of it.”

”That seems impossible when you barely stay in this house because of her.”

”I barely stay here because I hate being here.”

His mother’s mouth tightened.

”You were never like this before that girl.”

”Yes, I was.”

”You respected your father.”

Zac looked at her.

When he was younger, he used to shout until his throat hurt, trying to make both of them listen. He thought louder words might force them to understand that he hated the military plan and wanted football to be more than a hobby they tolerated.

They never listened.

Eventually, Zac stopped explaining.

His mother picked up her cup.

”You ignore our calls. You miss family dinners. You disappear for entire nights. Then you arrive home wearing evidence of whatever you were doing with that poor little slut.”

Zac stepped toward her.

”Stop.”

His mother took a slow drink.

”Would gold digger be more accurate?”

His jaw clenched.

”She needs someone to rescue her,” Miranda continued. ”You enjoy believing that person has to be you.”

”You know nothing about her.”

”I know she attached herself to my son because you have more opportunities than she will ever have alone.”

”Shut up.”

His mother’s eyebrows lifted.

”Excuse me?”

”I said shut up.”

”Stop speaking to her like that.”

Nathan entered from the dining room.

Zac turned.

Nathan wore jeans and a buttoned shirt. He looked rested and prepared for the day, while Zac still felt the lack of sleep behind his eyes.

”The fuck do you care?” Zac asked. ”Why are you always here now?”

Nathan’s expression hardened.

”If you had been home, you would know.”

”What does that mean?”

Nathan looked toward their mother.

Miranda lowered her eyes.

The pause irritated Zac further.

”Just say it.”

Nathan faced him again.

”I proposed to Holly.”

Zac went quiet.

The engagement explained Holly’s car. It explained why Nathan had spent so many evenings at the house and why their mother had been crying when Zac came home the day before.

”Congratulations.”

Nathan stared at him.

”That’s all you have to say?”

”Bet you had a good dinner without me.”

Nathan stepped closer. ”You are part of this family.”

”Apparently, I’m not. You had an engagement dinner without me.”

”You disappear for days. You ignore every message. You come home to shower, change, and leave again. How am I supposed to include you in anything?”

If Nathan had sent a message saying he planned to propose, Zac might have read it.

He still would have stayed with Roxie.

Zac looked toward the kitchen.

Holly was nowhere in sight, but her purse sat on one of the dining chairs.

”You could have told me.”

”I tried.”

”You told me Dad wanted me home.”

”Because he did.”

Zac laughed without humor. ”Then you knew I wasn’t coming.”

Nathan shook his head. ”You couldn’t come home for one night.”

”You watched Dad punch me.”

Their mother inhaled sharply.

Nathan’s jaw tightened.

”I stepped between you. I told you to stop provoking him.”

Zac moved closer. ”Right, Commander Nathan. Everyone should follow your orders.”

”Stop provoking me.”

”Or what?”

Zac shoved one hand against Nathan’s chest.

Nathan caught his wrist and forced it away.

The grip around Zac’s wrist immediately made him think of Roxie.

He pulled free.

Nathan looked at him with disgust. ”Grow up.”

”Stop acting like Dad.”

”Stop acting like a spoiled kid every time someone tells you no.”

The anger rose faster.

”Our parents gave you everything,” Nathan said. ”They let you play football for years. They paid for the equipment, the camps, and every school expense. You act like every sacrifice was an attack.”

”They paid for things. That doesn’t mean they own me.”

”You’re an ungrateful son.”

Zac’s mouth twisted. ”Anything else?”

”You’re a selfish brother.”

That one landed.

Nathan saw it.

”You missed the most important night of my life because you were too busy ignoring everyone.”

Zac laughed hollowly. ”You haven’t acted like my brother in years.”

Their mother began crying.

The sound came loudly enough that both brothers looked toward her.

Miranda covered her mouth with one hand.

”Listen to how he speaks about us.”

Nathan turned toward her.

”We gave him everything,” she said through the tears. ”Everything. Now he treats us like enemies.”

Zac stared at her.

Minutes earlier, she had called Roxie a slut and a gold digger. Now she looked like the injured parent.

”What did I do to deserve a son who speaks to me like this?”

Nathan moved toward her. ”Mom.”

”He hates this family.”

”I don’t hate Mia,” Zac said.

Nathan looked back at him.

Their mother cried harder.

”Your father was right. We are losing you.”

”You keep saying that like I’m something you own.”

”Apologize,” Nathan said.

”No.”

”Zac.”

”She insulted Roxie until I reacted. Now she’s crying because I reacted.”

His mother looked at Nathan. ”See?”

Nathan’s expression turned colder.

”Leave the room before you make this worse.”

”Gladly.”

Zac walked upstairs before he shoved Nathan again.

His mother continued crying below. Nathan spoke quietly to her, and Zac heard his name several times before he reached his bedroom.

He entered and slammed the door.

The lock remained open, but he was too angry to notice.

Zac checked the time.

Five hours and twenty minutes remained before Roxie finished babysitting.

His plan was simple.

Shower.

Change.

Stay away from everyone downstairs.

Pick Roxie up at six.

He stripped and entered the attached bathroom.

Hot water stung the scratches along his neck and shoulder. His lower lip burned when the spray touched the reopened cut.

Zac stood beneath the water and thought about Roxie cleaning the dried blood from his mouth.

He remembered her fingers moving over his skin while she fixed the collar of his sweatshirt. He remembered her hand searching the bed for him while she slept.

Then he remembered her against the wall.

Her legs had locked around his waist. Her mouth had tasted like blood after she bit him. She pulled against his grip and asked him to move harder.

The memory affected him immediately.

Then her wrist returned to his mind.

The dark fingerprints.

The way his hand had stayed closed at the grill after she told him he was hurting her.

Guilt tightened inside his chest.

It failed to stop his body from reacting to everything that happened later.

Zac looked down and swore quietly.

He had spent the entire morning avoiding Roxie because he was afraid of touching her again. Now he was hard from remembering the same night he had spent hours trying to separate in his head.

He braced one hand against the shower wall.

Roxie’s voice returned to him.

Harder.

He remembered her biting his lip, pulling against his hand, and staring directly at him while she called him jealous.

His hand closed around himself.

Zac told himself he only needed the tension gone.

Then he pictured Roxie beneath him again.

Her thin shorts.

Her thighs around his waist.

The sound she made when she came against him.

He stroked himself faster.

His forehead lowered against his arm as his breathing grew heavier. Every image led back to Roxie. Her mouth. Her breasts. Her fingers digging into his shoulder. The way she reached for him even while asleep.

The guilt remained underneath the desire.

It never slowed him.

Zac came hard with Roxie’s name caught behind his teeth.

For several seconds, he stayed beneath the water with his eyes closed.

He felt worse afterward.

Avoiding Roxie had changed nothing. He still wanted her enough that one memory could strip away every careful thought he had spent the morning building.

Zac cleaned himself and stayed beneath the spray until the water began cooling.

He shut it off, dried himself, and wrapped a towel around his waist.

When he opened the bathroom door, he stopped.

Holly sat on his bed.

The bedroom door stood open behind her.

She rose when she saw him.

Zac tightened one hand around the towel.

His stomach turned.

She had entered while the shower was running.

He had no idea how long she had been sitting there or what she might have heard.

”What are you doing?”

”I wanted to check on you.”

”Get out.”

Her eyes moved across the scratches on his neck and shoulder.

Then they dropped lower before returning to his face.

Zac noticed.

The possibility that she had heard him made the look worse.

He reached for the clothes near the dresser.

Holly remained beside the bed.

”Nathan is hurt.”

”Then go talk to Nathan.”

”He thinks you don’t care about the engagement.”

”I said congratulations.”

”You said it like you were congratulating a stranger.”

Zac picked up his shirt. ”I’m wearing a towel.”

”I know.”

”Then leave.”

”I only wanted to tell you that Nathan doesn’t understand how difficult this house is for you.”

Zac stopped.

”What?”

”He learned how to keep your parents happy. You never did.”

”Why do you care?”

”Because somebody should understand what they’re doing to you.”

Zac stared at her.

”You’re engaged to my brother.”

”I know.”

”Then worry about him.”

”I can care about you too.”

”Not like this.”

Holly’s face changed slightly.

”I didn’t mean anything.”

”You came into my room while I was showering.”

”The door was open.”

”It was closed.”

”Unlocked.”

”That isn’t permission.”

She crossed her arms.

”I heard the fight. I thought you might need someone.”

”I don’t need you.”

”You need someone who can see what your family is doing.”

”I have Roxie.”

Holly’s mouth tightened.

”She seems to make everything worse.”

Zac’s expression hardened. ”Get out.”

”I’m trying to help you.”

”You sound like my mother.”

”I understand you better than she does.”

That made everything worse.

Holly was trying to place herself inside something private. She stood in his bedroom while he wore only a towel and acted like they shared an understanding Nathan could not give him.

Zac looked at the open door.

”Get out.”

She stayed where she was.

Zac gathered his shirt, sweatshirt, jeans, and underwear against his chest.

Then he walked past her.

Holly turned. ”Where are you going?”

”To get dressed somewhere you aren’t.”

”Zac, I was only trying to help.”

He entered the guest bathroom across the hallway and locked the door.

Zac dressed quickly.

When he returned to his bedroom, Holly was gone.

The bedspread remained wrinkled where she had been sitting. His door stayed open.

Zac closed it and turned the lock.

Then he checked his phone.

Nothing from Roxie.

She was babysitting.

She might also be refusing to contact him after their argument outside the Robinson house.

A message from Dylan appeared.

You coming to Mason’s?

Zac typed:

No.

He dropped the phone onto the bed.

A photograph arrived a few seconds later.

Mason and Kyle stood beside an indoor pool with several students behind them. Steam rose from a hot tub near the glass wall. Bottles covered one of the tables.

Zac stared at the picture.

His mother’s crying had become quieter, though he could still hear her talking downstairs.

Nathan answered her.

Holly’s voice joined them.

His father would return later and start the academy argument again.

Zac wanted to leave.

He could drive directly back to the Robinson house.

He could park outside and wait until she finished. He could apologize for the way he had treated her that morning. He could ask about her wrist again and tell her what his mother said.

Zac looked toward the truck keys on his desk.

Waiting outside the Robinson house would mean sitting alone for hours, thinking about whether Roxie would even come out to him after he refused to touch her.

The pool party sounded easier.

He could leave the house, drink something, and stop thinking for a few hours.

He would still pick Roxie up at six.

Zac picked up his phone.

I’m coming.