Shinrabansho: Myriad Souls

The ride home afterward felt surreal.

I stood on the rear bolts again, feeling unsteady, taking care to keep my skirt from fluttering up this time so that no one would discover the stains on my panties, the night air cool against my flushed skin, the city lights moving past in soft blurs.

Aoi-chan pedaled steadily, guiding us through familiar streets. Normally she would hum, or tease me about holding onto her too tight.

Now, she said nothing, probably because she was as tired as me.

I didn’t either, feeling too full, too warm, too light, like my body hadn’t quite forgotten all the tension and passion. My heart still raced whenever I remembered her face, how fierce and beautiful she’d been when she finally stopped holding back.

She had touched me like she had been starving for a long time. 

Our date had been perfect, especially the karaoke. We had both felt it. Her hands had explored everywhere, each touch winding me a little tighter, showing me sensations I hadn’t even known existed.

…But why did something feel so off?

She turned into my gate smoothly, the hinges creaking as she pushed it open with her foot. The bike rolled to a gentle stop in front of my door. For a moment, neither of us moved except for my leg automatically lowering.

Aoi waited for me to climb off, saying nothing.

I climbed down slowly, my legs wobbly, my hands reluctant to leave her warmth. We parked the bike in silence.

When I turned back, she was looking at me.

Her eyes were intense, filled with emotion.

My chest tightened.

“Thank you, Aoi-chan…” I said softly, the words tumbling out before I could think. “I had a great time today. It was the best date I could have ever imagined… the only one I’ve ever been in my whole life.” I smiled, a little breathless, feeling emotional too. “You made me very happy. I hope that I made you happy too...” I blushed, wiggled and added softly, all my heart in it, “I love you.”

She swallowed hard.

“I did too,” Aoi said. “It was magical.” Her smile was small, edged with something like sorrow. “It was much more than I deserve.”

“Awww…” I stepped closer without thinking, still wobbly, putting my hands on her shoulders, my eyes warm. “Why do you keep saying things like that? You’re wonderful. Come inside. We’ll have some tea and…”

She shook her head, cutting me off, raising a hand and stepping outside my reach.

“Think it through. You’ll have to hide those panties as soon as possible unless you want Yuna, Riko, and your little brother to know what happened.” Her eyes tightened in edges.

“I don’t care if they find out. Haru keeps secrets well.” I offered her a warm smile.

Aoi shook her head. “There’s no need for them to know.” Her eyes were faraway even though she was looking right at me. “You don’t remember anything,” she said quietly. “And that’s for the best.”

A chill ran through me. “What do you mean? What don’t I remember?”

What’s she talking about?

“Look… I let myself get carried away tonight, way too much.” she continued. “Damn it, I love you so much.” She showed me her teeth, but it wasn’t a smile.

“I love you more than any…”

“I think we should cool things off for a while, Shinohara-san. I need to think.”

S… Shinohara-san? The world tilted and my knees felt even weaker.

“…What? Aoi-chan!” I gasped. Panic surged up so fast it stole my breath. I grabbed her, my arms winding around her neck. “Did—did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?!”

“No,” she said immediately, her voice breaking. Her hands hovered, then rested lightly at my waist, as if memorizing me. “I will always be with you, Shinohara-san, no matter what. Even if you decide to hate me.”

Not just crumbling at the edges, I felt completely shattered.

I leaned in to kiss her… and she pulled away, hauling up my arms with hers with complete ease, knocking them away. I reeled in shock.

“What… Aoi-chan…?” My hands fell uselessly to my sides. Tears burned hot behind my eyes. I refused to let them out.

“See? I warned you,” she whispered. “I hurt you, as I said.” Her voice shook.

I looked down and away, clutching an arm in front of me. “...You never hurt me… U-until n-now. Everything was… was so perfect…”

“...Too perfect.” Aoi said, turning away. “There are things you don’t understand.”

“What don’t I understand? I want to spend the rest of my life with you…” I sobbed, finding it very hard to hold back my tears now.

“I can’t permit that. That’s impossible.” Aoi’s lips twisted sharply.

I gasped, forcing myself to look at her.

“…” I wiped at my cheeks, my heart aching.

“See you.” Aoi turned crisply and walked away.

I couldn’t help running after her, throwing my arms around her again.

“P-please… d-don’t leave me, Aoi-chan,” I sobbed. “What’s wrong? Why can’t we be together?”

She laughed softly, bitter. “I’m such a thoughtless bitch. I only thought about living. Loving is part of that. But I’m not entitled to that.” She shook my hands off, surprisingly violently. I recoiled and stumbled backward. “I’m a jerk. That’s who I really am, Sumire. I was using you to get what I wanted in this life. Do you get it? You shouldn’t love trash like me.”

“Please don’t leave me,” I pleaded, my voice breaking apart. “I love you… no matter what you say… You’re not trash. You’re nothing bad… You are…”

“I won’t entirely, Shinohara-san,” she said firmly, tears finally spilling over. “I’ll train you every single day and make you strong. I don’t break those kinds of promises as awful as I am. Seriously. But I want you to focus on your training from now on, not me, you got it?”

“Why?!” I cried.

“You’re already stronger than you were a month ago,” she said, tapping my chest gently. “In here.” Then my forehead. “And here.” Her hand lingered, trembling. “That’s why.”

“Why are you doing this to us?!” I screamed.

“I don’t want to,” she whispered. “But I have to.” She stepped back, every movement deliberate and painful. “I’ll see you at school on Monday. After hours only. Don’t talk to me at lunch. Or in class.”

The distance between us felt infinite.

My legs gave out.

I didn’t remember falling and crawling away. Barely registering the cold shock of the doorstep against my cheek, my chest heaving as sobs tore out of me. The gate creaked again.

The door opened.

Haru stood frozen, his eyes wide. Riko and Yuna were behind him, their expressions shifting from confusion to alarm as they took everything in at once.

Aoi was already at the gate.

She didn’t look back as she left.

And I lost focus on much of what was going on around me, the echo of her warmth still burning in my skin, as the night swallowed her silhouette whole.

Riko guided Sumire inside before Riko fully realized her own feet were moving.

The door closed behind them with a soft, final sound, shutting out the night. Sumire barely seemed to register it. Her body language looked like everything hurt too much.

Haru’s voice cut in sharply, “What happened? … Onee-chan smells weird…”

Yuna’s hand came down on Haru’s wrist, firm and insistent.

He looked at her, startled.

Riko had Sumire’s arm under her arms, supporting her weight as best she could.

Yuna shook her head once at Haru, then put a gentle hand on his shoulder.

Go slowly. Not now.

“Get her upstairs, Riko,” Yuna said quietly. “No questions.”

Riko swallowed whatever she had been about to say and nodded. “Okay.”

She guided Sumire forward, awkward at first, then took more of her weight when Sumire’s knees buckled. Haru hovered close behind them, silent and rigid, like he was afraid that if he said anything, his sister would shatter completely.

Riko hated how helpless that made her feel.

Her grip kept tightened every time Sumire stumbled over a step, and she kept muttering under her breath whenever Sumire sagged harder against her.

“We’re almost there. Don’t fall. Just a little farther.”

They reached Sumire’s room.

It should have comforted her.

Riko saw it all at once. The desk. The shelves. The bed.

She eased Sumire down onto the mattress, careful, almost painfully careful, like she was handling something fragile she did not understand well enough to trust herself with. Sumire curled inward immediately, her hands twisting into the sheets.

Riko hovered, feeling uncertain of what to do next.

Haru stared from the doorframe, his eyes filled with worry.

“I should call Dad and Mom,” he muttered.

“Don’t…” Riko shook her head. “We don’t know anything yet. Just keep whatever happened a secret until your sister decides what she wants to do.”

“Why? We had a promise…” Haru gritted his teeth.

“I’d leave that up to her to decide. Your parents don’t know that she loves girls, and she’s not ready for them to know that, right?” Riko asked sharply.

“Y-yeah…” Haru nodded, crossing his arms.

Riko’s eyes flicked around the room before she could stop herself. The drawer was still open from when she went on her date, full of cute ribbons, all those little things Sumire had collected since her childhood. School books were stacked neatly on top. Small details were everywhere, soft details, precious details, things that screamed Sumire so loudly it made Riko’s chest tighten. She felt embarrassed being there, like she was trespassing on something too intimate.

Sumire did not seem to notice much.

She barely seemed to notice Riko sitting down beside her.

Riko leaned down and wrapped her arms around her.

She did not know what to say. Nothing she could think of sounded right. Teasing would have been disgusting. Trying to fix it would have been worse.

So she just stayed there.

That was enough to break Sumire.

She leaned into Riko without thinking, her forehead pressing against her, and the sob that tore out of her was ugly, raw, and unstoppable. Her whole body shook as exhaustion finally crashed down on her all at once.

Riko froze for half a second.

Then she slowly shifted her hold and rested a hand against Sumire’s back.

Kami…

She had never seen her like this.

“It’s okay,” Riko whispered, and hated how unsure she sounded the moment the words left her.

Sumire cried harder.

Riko stayed there for her.

She kept her arms around her and said nothing else, because anything else would have been for herself, not for Sumire.

At some point Sumire’s breathing started hitching less violently. Then it slowed. Somewhere between one sob and the next, her consciousness finally gave out.

Riko felt it happen against her, gently stroking her hair.

When I woke, the room was darker.

I was clutching my pillow like it was the only thing keeping me afloat, my fingers knotted into the fabric of its pillow case. My chest still ached, hollowed and raw. The scent of what we did in the karaoke room clung to me.

Someone sat down on the bed.

I peeked out, my eyes swollen and burning.

Yuna.

She smiled softly, in a way that gently said that she didn’t want to startle.

“Would you like that cup of tea I promised?” she asked. “Maybe it will help a little.”

I nodded, unable to trust my voice.

She stood. “Your spare futons are on the floor now. If you get up, make sure you don’t trip on them.” She winked gently before turning away.

I shifted and noticed the shape on the floor.

Riko sat on one of the borrowed futons against a wall, her knees pulled to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them. She looked up when I moved, her jaw clenched like she was biting back something fierce and dangerous.

“Are you… alright?” she asked.

I shook my head, hugging my pillow tighter.

“I won’t ask what happened,” Riko said quietly. “But whatever it is… it’s killing me.” Her eyes hardened. “It was her fault. That much I know.”

I didn’t answer. I’d begged Aoi-chan to not stop.

Yuna returned with a tray, the soft clink of porcelain cups rattling against each other, echoing in the quiet room. She turned the light on as she entered. Three cups of tea steamed gently as she set them on my desk.

“I thought we could all use some nice calming tea… plus you’re probably a little dehydrated,” she said. “Your brother already has one. I’m glad that he likes my tea.”

She set the tray down on my vanity, taking a cup and crossed the room, sitting beside me.

“You’ll need to let go of your pillow if you want some,” she said gently. “Are you ready to let go?”

I shook harder, fresh tears spilling over.

Let go…

…

Of Aoi…

“I see,” Yuna murmured. She didn’t push. She simply held the cup as she sat next to me. “It’s very hot anyway. You still have time.”

Eventually, slowly, and reluctantly… I sat up.

My hands trembled as I took the cup, the warmth seeping into my fingers, calming me just enough. Riko stood, grabbed the other two cups, and hesitated before sitting on the edge of my bed on the other side, handing one to Yuna.

The three of us drank in silence.

The tea was exquisite… fragrant and calming. I hadn’t realized how dehydrated I was until my body practically sighed with relief.

After a long moment, I spoke, “Aoi-chan loves me more than anyone else,” I said hoarsely. “But she couldn’t handle it anymore.” My tears fell into my tea, rippling the surface. “We won’t be kissing at lunch anymore.”

Riko’s cup slammed down on its saucer a little too firmly.

“That bitch—”

“Riko,” Yuna said firmly. “Be gentler with Sumire’s mother’s teacups.”

Riko’s fists clenched. Her whole body vibrated with restrained fury.

“Anyway, you shouldn’t call Aoi names,” Yuna continued calmly, “At least, before we fully understand the situation.”

Riko bit down hard, swallowing her anger, but her eyes never left me.

Foxfire floated in slow orbits, blue-gold flames suspended like lanterns that never smoked. Beneath them, embers glowed in a shallow hearth, their warmth steady and alive. Shadows moved along the walls as if they were living creatures, listening.

Baku sat in his well-upholstered chair near the fire, his teacup cradled in both hands, steam swirling upward, carrying the faint scent of roasted barley and notes of something sweeter beneath it, steeped carefully.

Natalia-sama sat opposite him, her dress skirt wrapping around her legs, her nine tails relaxed but alert, their tips glowing faintly in the foxfire’s light.

For a long while, neither of them spoke.

Then Baku sighed.

“The dream has taken a sad turn,” he said at last, his voice low. “They are no longer happy.”

Natalia-sama did not answer immediately. Her gaze lingered on the fire, watching sparks lift and fade.

“It was… beautiful to behold,” Baku continued carefully. “What they shared today. I do not understand why Aoi chose to distance herself after such intimacy.”

Natalia-sama’s ears twitched.

Color crept into her cheeks, just a little, but obvious.

“…So it went that far…” she said softly. “Like a drama unfolding, is it not? I did not expect it to go quite so far.”

Baku hummed. “Nor did I.”

Silence settled again, thicker this time.

“…Do you think we allowed them too much freedom?” Natalia-sama asked. Not accusatory, rather thoughtful.

Baku considered, his eyes reflecting the foxfire. “Perhaps. But even now, Sumire still grows. Pain is not stagnation, but nor is it progress. Her training has only just begun.”

Natalia-sama lifted her gaze. 

“The figment, Aoi, signaled that she intends to see it through,” Baku said. “Even as she inflicted distance between them, she chose discipline over comfort. That was… telling.”

Natalia-sama nodded slowly.

Then Baku tilted his head, his expression darkening just a fraction.

“There is something else,” he said. “What if the girls experienced such heartbreak that they decided to commit suicide? That is not uncommon in Japanese society.”

Natalia-sama went still.

“They would not go that far,” she said.

“Well, worry not. If they did,” Baku continued evenly, “they would merely leave the dream, not actually die. They would wake to their normal bodies.”

“Yes,” she replied. “And her training would unceremoniously come to an end.”

“Indeed,” Baku finished quietly. “That is my fear. The shaping you desire would remain incomplete.”

“This is true.” Natalia-sama took a sip of her tea. “Where is this going?”

He stared into his cup. “I believe that I should take steps to reinforce their happiness. It would be wise to work to prevent such an undesired outcome. Yuna and Riko already fill the gap Aoi left. With subtle nudges… with that, and perhaps somewhat more, Sumire may feel secure enough to continue.”

Natalia-sama watched him carefully.

“I have faith in her,” she said quietly. “Even if she was left alone.”

Baku looked up.

“She is very strong,” Natalia-sama went on. “She has seen much suffering in her life. Her aura cries… Did you notice that?”

“I did,” Baku admitted.

“It is why I could not leave her alone when I first saw her,” Natalia-sama said. “Why I chose this path. She will bend, but she will not break. She will rebound… one way or another.”

She lowered her cup.

“And when they stop dreaming,” she added, “I will help her stand again.”

Baku was silent for a long time.

Then, slowly, he set his cup aside.

He turned inward, feeling his resolve firm.

The foxfire flickered, the embers shifting.

And somewhere far away, beneath layers of dream and pain and love, the first day in the Yōkai world drew to a close.

Please don’t...