ShangriLa Frontier ~ Shitty Games Hunter Challenges Godly Game ~

「Now then, here is today’s highlight! You won’t be able to find something quite like that anywhere else this day and age! Ferrocitas directorentum!! Something that only the Fish People would be able to catch!! Just get a load of this thing! Yes, that’s right…… It’s a really ferocious creature that makes a mixture of a kappa, piranha and something straight out of this world! It might look intimidating at first, but its taste is second to none! Ah, but if you wish to truly appreciate it, I must warn you that the title of the “Gourmet Tongue” is required in here, so you are buying it knowing full well what you are getting yourself into! Well then, let us start with one hundred thousand mani……」

「I will give you twenty million mani upfront and get this thing nice and wrapped up.」

「Huh?」

「T-Twenty million mani upfront, huh? Umm…… Ahh, you must be one of the Players, huh? Hanjo-kun, yes, that’s right. This is certainly a twenty million mani paid upfront alright.」

「Huh, umm…… Is, is there anyone else who would like to perhaps raise the bid? Someone? Anyone? ……」

…

………

……………

「God fucking damn it! I thought that this thing might be different, but it cannot even hold a candle to the elusive Arcturus Regalex……!!」

「Hey, did you already managed to forget what we came here for in the first place!? Now, move your ass and start bidding before it’s going to be all over!」

「Seriously!? Hey, yo! This is not even remotely funny anymore! How am I supposed to bid with that!? It’s impossible!」

「Shallow Riffle~~~? And what the hell is that supposed to be? An illusion? Or is this really an equipment piece made out of Arctus Regalex?」

「See? I told you, you absolute bastard! But you did not wanted to listen! And here we have the result of that!」

「Yeah, but I mean……」

「Yeah? What is it now?」

「Why? Why the School Swimsuit out of all possible things?」

「I think I get it. It’s really simple, you know? Think of it like this: if Tias-tan is wearing a school swimsuit just like that, wouldn’t it be equivaltent to all of us wearing a school swimsuit? Or at the very least, in our hearts?」

「At this rate it would do you good to just log out of the game, dude. And then maybe go to the doctor and get your head checked before you go on to do something that you might regret doing down the line and end up in the slammer.」

「Not that I am trying to brag about it or anything like that, but I do pride myself in the fact that ever since I was born, I have never actually been sick. Not even once, not even a minor cold or anything like that.」

「Umm, yeah, good for you, I guess. But please bare in mind that those usual check-ups only check you for various physical conditions and abnormalities. They do not involve getting checked up for the mental illnesses, you know?」

* * *

I knew that the female avatar was a necessity for me right here at the current moment, but no matter how necessary it was supposed to be, I seriously regretted the fact that I had to walk around in this form dressed like that around the frontline base. Not to mention that the fact that my clothes kept on popping off every thirty seconds or so made the people who could be seen here and there stare at me, which was making me feel really uncomfortable. However, be that as it may I managed to return to the “Snake’s Apple” without any major incident taking place. And sure enough, the place was just as creepy and silent as I remembered it to be, with the place being filled with former Player Killers, current Bounty Hunters and players aspiring to become future Avengers.

「Uwah!? Hey, wait a! What the!? What are you even……!?」

「……………」

SWOSH (a plaque with the number two hundred thousand mani written in it was silently raised in the air)

SWOSH (a plaque with the number one million mani written on it was silently raised in the air)

SWOSH (a plaque with the number twenty million mani written on it was silently raised in the air)

SWOSH (a plaque with the number one hundred million mani written on it was silently raised in the air)

「No! Wait! Wait just a moment! I’m scared! I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m scared!!!」

No, seriously, what the hell is going on in here!? Why is everyone so eager to give me money all of a sudden like that!? No, like, seriously! Just take it all away from me! I’m so scared! And why do I get a feeling that all of that money may or may not have been obtained through not all that legal or questionable sources!? Huh!? It’s all nice and clean!? What do you mean by that!? You seriously want me to believe that bullshit!? Yeah, right! As if that was ever going to happen, morons!

「Sanraku-san…… Honored, I feel truly honored to have been invited here, to this very place……」

「It’s the storm, it’s the storm that is approaching……」

「It’s too much! It’s too much for me to handle……!」

What the hell is wrong with all those people!? They are acting like a bunch of half-witted peasants from a village somewhere in the middle of the sticks that just happened to witness a natural phenomenon and in their ignorance and stupidity mistook it for the wrath of the gods! …… Or something like that! However, when I turned my gaze to the other side of the room, where the biggest amount of perverts and creeps were gathering, the amount of money that was being handled from one person to another was quite astonishing as well. …… And right there, in the middle of it all, there was Wimp standing and trembling on her feet, looking as though she was about to faint on the spot in the net minute or two. Oh, and the Little Girl Sensei also happened to be there as well.

There are already a whole lot of different dishes piled up on the counter where the Little Girl Sensei was sitting, so it is entirely probable that they were repeating this shit show over and over and over again while I was gone.

「I just can’t believe it! What is this!? An albino beauty with pigtails!? That’s a perfect combination! Oh, my poor heart!」

「Too much! Too much cuteness! This assortment of different attributes is going to give me diabetes for sure!」

「It’s like a curry! Simple and delicious, with just about the right amount of moe as its spice mix!」

「Hey, guys! For the time being let’s just focus on figuring out what kind of clothes would look the best on Wimp and hoe to obtain them!」