Rising Shards

Kitty Kilander. What else is there to say about her that hasn’t been written?

There was a school assembly, a celebration for Kitty, that I was asked to do an introductory letter for her and I was running late and had to meet a deadline so I tried to just make that the letter and hoped Kitty would think it’s super grandiose in the text that’s not written or something along those lines, but she just told me I didn’t meet the required page count and made me write an essay at about one o’clock in the morning that night. In a way she’s a perfect fit to work in a school.

OK, what Kitty Kilander actually is about. Before that perfect for school thing. She’s a pop star, reality TV star, and a wrestler, and former governor of Haven, the state where it’s all wrestling. I am not sure if Haven fighting is fake like pro wrestling (OK I know they get hurt for real but it’s sports theater, alright?!) and I fear that I shouldn’t even ask. Anyways, Kitty is beautiful, tough, creative, and popular. Well, only the first three now.

I’m not sure what exactly caused her popularity downfall, enough that she went from being a leader of a state and its world champion with multiple best selling albums to a school co-principal that can barely get twelve likes on her social media. The Kilander show getting canceled was a big blow, but the decline started before that. Maybe it was the viral incident with the Ultra Taco sour cream order incident that got the ball rolling about Kitty’s unlikability, which spread to her popularity until it was all tapped out. Maybe society changed enough that Kitty didn’t fit into pop culture anymore. Maybe there wasn’t a reason at all and it just happened.

Either way, Kitty had been in a bad mood for a while, which was clear from the moment I met her.

I had been working with a group of high potential, gifted, and skilled students, because they knew how incredibly awesome I am. The latest was Jeanette Dusk, who I assisted in void adventuring. It was a bit degrading having to play characters for the little scenarios she set up, such as when she found a castle and decided she was the queen and I had to be her jester, but that’s the kind of thing you do in this line of work!

Anyways, I was pulled from that gig to go back to regular teaching, as the schools were getting reshuffled and they needed to figure out who went where. That somehow ended up with me running into Kitty and being her unofficial assistant of sorts. One evening after school I was correcting papers, and Kitty strolled into my office, starting her usual routine of knocking all my papers off my desk.

”Ha, it’s even funnier the fifteenth time,” I chuckled as I picked the sheets up.

Kitty had her arms crossed. I think most of the other faculty and staff didn’t react to her silly little games like I did, because I became her ’favorite’ teacher to spend time around.

”Ugh, your reactions to it aren’t even funny,” Kitty said. ”If you’re working under me, you should be funny, or stop talking. Or be my footstool.”

”I was a professional footstool once,” I said. ”So I could do that.”

Kitty squinted in that ’I can’t tell if you’re joking’ sort of way.

”I’m serious! There’s a kink magazine company that has very specific niches and I did a photoshoot for Footstool Groveling Biannual. The funny thing about the title is that the bi- doesn’t just mean twice a year, it’s also in reference to—”

”Why would you just offer that information to me unprompted?” Kitty asked.

”Well, I figured you’d want to know,” I said.

”I don’t,” Kitty said.

After our back and forths, she’d usually pace around my office with her arms crossed making noises. This day it was quacks.

”What’s got you so blue, Miss Kitty?” I asked.

”Don’t call me ’Miss,’” Kitty said. ”And ugh, what do you care? You weren’t even invited.”

”To what?” I asked.

”I was going to do some of that team building crap, so I got everyone tickets to an escape room. But everyone declined.”

”That makes sense after the last team building exercise was just you dumping that slime on everyone,” I said.

”But that was funny! Can’t they take a joke? A single solitary joke?”

”Do you want me to come with?” I asked. ”I love escape rooms.”

Kitty once again looked at me with confused disdain, and left the room without another word. I got a text from her about fifteen minutes later though asking why I wasn’t at the escape room yet, so I suppose I charmed her into letting me come with.