Rising Shards

“There’s one thing bugging me right now,” I said. “There was this Cani we ran into there…”

I explained the whole story with Arctus in the void to Dr. Diast, then looped back around to how I met him at Rising Shards. “I dunno, I probably should’ve said something earlier if he’s like someone who snuck into the school or something…but I didn’t know he was from the void earlier! I only just found that out, so I’m not breaking any rules. Probably.”

“Zeta. Breathe, girl.” Diast said. “I don’t know the Falling Shards roster enough to know if he’s a student there, but I can check when I’m back at the school.”

“OK…” I said. “So if he is, then like. Who’d I see in the void then?”

“There’s a lot of possibilities,” Diast said. “Which unfortunately only narrows down things a little.”

“Like what?”

“First up, given the nature of void nodes, it’s entirely possible that you spoke to a real person that has a real life, sadly in a failing dimension. It’s rare for people from places like that to find a way here, but it is possible. The odds of him knowing you, knowing how and where to find you, sneaking into the school, getting a job at the school, then going back to his node, which happens to be the one assigned for class…are more than a bit low. Still possible, but. Yeah. Pretty low.”

“Huh…” I said.

“If the one you talked to on the trip was a void construct,” Diast continued. “They may have been born of subconscious desire. The void node is a lot of things pulled together in addition to the failing dimensions Jeans brought in, like the scans of you and the group members’ minds from the memory trials. He could have been conjured up from a deep want or need in your psyche.”

“I’m not into boys, Dr. Diast.” I said, unable to politely hide my annoyance at the thought.

It took her a second to answer. I heard a noise on the other end I couldn’t make out for a few moments, until I realized she was laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” I asked.

“Sorry, I—” Diast said.

“I’m serious! It’s definitely not a desire for that. Are you saying I talked to this boy once and dreamed up a version of him in the void? I have a girlfriend, Dr. Diast.”

“Zeta,” Diast let out the sigh only heard after a good laugh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have laughed. But it was a happy laugh! I’m glad you’ve got a grasp on your whole deal in that regard at your age. And congrats on a girlfriend! There’s a pride week coming up at school you know, something to think about. I’m sure the committee on that could use more minds like yours.”

“Aw,” I said, flattered at the idea.

“And if, if, you talked to a regular Falling Shards student, then got something from that that your subconscious wanted, that doesn’t necessarily mean romantic. Maybe it was for mentorship, or potentially a longing for something like family. When I was around your age, I accidentally conjured a father figure in the void that was way cooler than my real life one. So it happens.”

The idea of subconsciously longing for family instantly made sense. For as long as I could remember (save for some very hazy early memories), my family had been just me and Stella. It did make me feel guilty though, because I knew Stella beat herself up about how small our family was, even though it was nobody’s fault. Even if I didn’t know much about the situation, somehow I knew that.

“Are there any other things that would explain all this?”

“There’s a lot, but they’ll take a lot longer to explain,” Diast said. “If it was a diagonal dimensional rift situation or something of that nature I might need a few days. In the meantime, you just focus on healing up. When we’re back at school, I’ll look into Arctus.”

“Then go back to Vita Coa and check on them there?” I suggested.

“It may be a while before we can do that.” Dr. Diast said.

“Huh?”

“The Wildfire Hearts raiders did a number on that node. Mushing a bunch of dimensions together so rapidly means it’s going to be a while before we know it’s safe for us to be there.”

“Oh…” I said. I didn’t want to think of Kiki and the Exumi in any more danger.

“Plus, all of your powers are drained, so you need some time to recover before we can go back into the void at all.”

I could feel that; I could barely manage a tiny spark with my powers and that was with a lot of effort. Fighting Jeans and all the Wildfire Hearts drones had wiped me out.

“Yeah, that’s a good point…” I said.

“Does all that clear up your concerns a bit at least?” Diast asked. “I know it’s a lot of vagueness still, but void issues like this aren’t solved easily. Sorry I couldn’t give you something more concrete.”

“No, you helped a lot!” I said. “I feel a lot better about it already just knowing some stuff it could be.”

“Well, feel free to call back if things start feeling not better again.” Diast said.

“Sounds good,” I said. I winced as a thought hit me. “One more thing…”

“What’s up, buddy?”

I might’ve taken pretty much anyone else saying ‘What’s up, buddy?” as condescending, but it was comforting from Dr. Diast.

“If the whole deal here is me longing for family…don’t tell Stella, OK?” I said. “She’d take it hard.”

“You got it,” Diast said.

“I know she calls a lot to bug you about me, so I figured I’d warn you at least…” I said.

I thought I heard a slight laugh from Diast again before she said bye and hung up, but I couldn’t be sure. I hoped Stella wasn’t being too embarrassing on her calls if Diast laughed at the idea of them.