Naruto : Venom

”Please spare us!” The right one bows as well. ”We were only following procedure! It was not intended as a slight against you!”

”Oh shut up already. I’m not going to get mad at you for doing your job. Idiots.” I pull my water monster back into me as Arachne is looking around in confusion.

...

”So I’m not here to fight?” The spider asks me as six of her eight eyes focus on me. The other two are keeping tabs on the suddenly cowed shinobi. ”Why is it that whenever you summon me it’s never to go to battle? I want to stretch my legs too you know! And I’ve got way more than you that need stretching! I am not just some show piece to scare your foes!”

”Sorry?” I meekly offer an apology to her. ”It’s just your good at that and I don’t like putting any of the Spiders in harm’s way. I like you all too much.”

”You’re impossible to stay mad at.” Arachne sighs out. ”Just give me someone to fight next time.”

”You got it!” I flash her a thumbs up then she vanishes into a cloud of smoke. ”Whew! I didn’t know she felt that way! So we cool? I can go in right?”

”Y-yes! Yes of course! Please enjoy your stay!”

”Awesome!” I casually walk past the guards and enter the base. ”Oh and one question. Is Kabuto here?”

”N-no. He has been away for months.”

”Pity. I wanted to rip off a limb or two.” I make my way deeper into the base. ”Orochimaru-sama said I can’t kill him but he never forbid me from extreme maiming or dismemberment! Yay for loopholes!”

The door closes behind me.

”We’re… alive still?” The right guard asks the left in confusion.

”We must have gotten lucky. You heard him at the end right? He wants to kill Kabuto - one of the best shinobi in Oto - and Orochimaru-sama had to tell him no. That means he can kill Kabuto.”

”We fucked up. Do you think he’ll remember us?”

”God I hope not.”

...

”Nice guys those guards.” I mutter to myself as I appear to be wandering aimlessly through the base. Except I’m not, I’m following a specific set of directions that Shirokumo gave me. There’s something here I want but I didn’t know exactly where it was so he found it for me. ”Pity I didn’t get their names, I’ve gotta mess with them more.”

I round a corner to stroll down a hallway with numerous doors. It looks exactly like most hallways here with only one exception. There’s no one else in this hallway.

That’s because this is Orochimaru’s own hallway, each room has been crafted to suit a specific need of the Snake Sannin. Only those who have permission, vitally important news or a death wish venture down this hallway. It doesn’t matter if he’s here or not, no one is ever 100% sure he’s gone.

So which of the three does that make me?

I certainly don’t have permission to be here but I doubt he’d care since it’s me. Though if he knew exactly why I am here then he would most definitely care. Oh well not my problem, he’s over at the Northern Base. Or just not here, sensing for the win!

Nor do I have vitally important news. Doubly so because if I did I’d haul ass back to where he’s actually at and not make this detour.

Guess that means I have a death wish. Considering what I’m about to take it’s not even that unrealistic of a concept.

”Here we are.” I stop before an unmarked door. ”Ladies and gentlemen what’s behind door number one? You’re options are A: A brand new car! B: A brand new torture device to make those deserving scream out in anguish! C: A severed hand that has started to decompose yet has a ring on it!”

I swing open the door to reveal it’s contents.

”Or I’m off by one.” I look at the… closet. ”I’ve opened up a cleaning closet. Whoops.”

I move over a door.

”Right. Let’s try that again. Same options.” I swing open this door. ”And our winner is C: A severed hand with its very own ring! And the crowd goes wild!”

The sound of a cricket chirping echoes down the hallway.

”Thank you, thank you! Please hold the applause!” I stride into the room and smoothly slide the ring off of the little finger. Then I pull out a plain silver ring that I acquired off of one of my foes and slide it back on the finger. Only under close observation will someone notice the switch.

I hold up the innocent looking ring to see it in better lighting.

”Yeah that totally needs a washing.” A flake of decomposing skin falls off the ring and floats down to the ground. ”Very vigorous washing. Is there bleach in this world?”

~I thought you weren’t going to join the Akatsuki?~

”It’s nice to have options.” I pocket the ring for now, once it’s clean I’ll find a better spot for it. Maybe it’ll join the scroll that’s in my forearm, the one that counts down Oto’s destruction. ”Plus if I have the ring then no one else can, it limits the Akatsuki even more. It will keep them from gaining a new member that I have no knowledge on. Either way I come out on top.”

~Very cunning. Very cunning indeed.~

...

Amegakure

”Hm.” An orange haired individual with numerous body piercings stares off to the west. He was standing on a balcony in the tallest building, looking over his village to remind him why he is continuing his plans.

But he didn’t expect this.

”Pain?” A blue haired woman joins him on the balcony. ”Is everything alright?”

”Something has changed.” Pain’s purple eyes narrow as he continues to stare to the west.

”Do we need to adjust out plans?” Konan asks as she joins her friend to look off into the distance.

”No.” A third voice joins the mix. ”That is a potential new ally that I’ve begun to recruit. A replacement for Orochimaru, ironically being trained by Orochimaru himself.”

”Madara.” Pain turns to face the newcomer, complete with his orange mask. ”Why did you only now inform me of this? Did you think it inconsequential to our mutual goal? Another ally will only help.”

”Do not forget your place Nagato.” Madara snarls out at the Rinnegan wielder. ”You are only the puppet leader. I am the one who is the true leader.”

”Do not presume too much.” Konan’s body shifts. No longer does her flesh resemble flesh, now it’s as if her whole body is one giant paper mache. A few leaflets flake off of her to float in the wind. ”Without our support you have no hope of success.”

”Yet without me the Akatsuki wouldn’t exist.” Madara sneers at the paper woman.

”Let us put our meaningless differences aside.” Pain intervienes. ”We are united by a common goal. All of the Akatsuki is united under this goal. Petty squabbles have no place here, they only hamper us.” Pain turns his full Rinnegan fueled gaze onto Madara. ”That being said, it is imperative that we keep each other up to date on things that effect that goal. Something like a new recruit is not something to keep to yourself. Who should we send to retrieve this new recruit?”

”No one.” Madara starts to fade from existence. ”He requires a more delicate touch. I have already laid the framework, all he has to do is make the choice himself. You will know if he accepts.”

Madara fades from this timespace.

”When this is all over he is not someone I will miss seeing.” Konan shares with her lifelong friend.

”Agreed.” Pain confides in her. ”But he has his uses. For now.”

...