My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2265: Chapter 2098: How Could There Be No Regrets?

No matter what kind of life one experiences, there are always moments of regret.

Zhao Jing thinks her husband is really very foolish. Even though she has come this far, why does he still choose to be with her? Is she really worth such love from him? Hurting her again and again, yet she doesn’t care about how she hurts him. Instead, he loves her even more fiercely. Is what she is doing right or wrong? For a man who has nothing to do with her anymore, she abandoned her family, making everyone at home deeply suspicious of her and her whole life’s desires. Who can understand how painful and sorrowful she feels living her life? 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ

Why is fate so unfair to her? All she wants is a man she loves. For him, she would give up everything, no matter the cost. Why does he never want to stay by her side regardless of how she treats him? Does he truly find her that unbearable in his eyes? Everyone has their own way of living, but her actions ultimately hurt him. What must she do to get him back to her side? The repeated pain makes her heart feel unbearable sorrow, yet she also lives a sorrowful life.

”I really don’t understand why destiny is so unjust to me. The person I love most sincerely won’t stay by my side, while the person I hate the most appears before me again and again. Could it be that I will never get the life I want in this lifetime? Do my actions really make everyone so disgusted with me? Why can I never receive others’ care and affection in this life? Why is my life so full of sorrow and pain? Couldn’t I live a simple life? Why be pushed to such a desperate situation all at once?

I really don’t understand what I should do to restore everything to its original state. One heartbreak after another leaves me with no way to continue enduring such pain. What I want, I never achieve. Those I don’t love keep talking about me again and again. I regret so much. I care so deeply about it all. Everyone lives for their own beliefs, but why do I live only for others? In my whole life, I never lived for anyone, I never lived for myself, but I always live for the one I love the most. If he is happy, I am happy; if he is upset, especially upset; his every mood dictates my nerves. I have become numb, not knowing if this is right or wrong. Everyone has the right to choose, but why do I repeatedly make the wrong career choices, and never get what I really want? Am I really that unwelcome?”

”Actually, there are people who love you in this world, but you’ve already lost the people you love and who love you. You’ve never thought about the consequences of your actions and the pain they bring. You delve into your own heart, numbing yourself with repeated thoughts that everything is right. But do you know how much pain everyone feels? Every living person in this lifetime is so heartbroken and uncomfortable. I really don’t know what to say anymore. The repeated pain has made me numb, my heart no longer belongs to me. Every nerve is tied to his moods, yet my whole life holds no happiness.

Don’t think about things you shouldn’t have. Everyone has their desires, and maybe in this life, love that can’t be achieved will leave you in an abyss of pain forever, from which you never escape. But who cares about your feelings behind every sorrow? When you are in unbearable pain, where is he? His heart is in as much pain as yours, yet he still won’t see you because deep down, he hates you. He has no love left for you, only deep hatred. Yet your love for him is engraved in your bones, deciding what kind of life you’ll lead!”

You love him so much, but does he know how much you’ve sacrificed for him? You disregard your own life again and again, but does he even know? Does he know you would even give up your life for him? Why make yourself so numb, why allow yourself to be repeatedly hurt, living a life of pain from which you can’t escape? Everyone has their own way of living. Don’t you know giving up might be the best way for you?”

”How could I not know that giving up is the best option for me, but I can’t let him go. Through repeated pain deep in my heart, what I want has never been achieved. But the days with him are the happiest of my life. For him, I would give up everything, being hospitalized due to alcohol poisoning wasn’t too much, I just wanted to see him. Is that wrong? Is loving someone really a mistake? I really don’t want anything else; I just want to stay with him, to see him happy every day. I only wish for her happiness because of my presence, not anyone else’s. Actually, I’m quite selfish; if I can’t have something, I’d rather destroy it than let someone else have it!

Maybe people are just this selfish. All these years, no one knows what kind of pain they will face in a lifetime, making life unbearable again and again. What do I really want? In the end, all I want is for the person I love most to return to me. Missing chances repeatedly and suffering soul-crushing pain creates this current outcome. I don’t care about any pain, life or death. I only care if he can come back to see me. To me, nothing else matters but whether he comes back. Everyone lives a very miserable and tiring life. There’s no one who isn’t exhausted, no life that isn’t exhausting. Maybe living is what’s truly tiring!”

Perhaps you think I’m just a trouble, but you never considered that my life is equally challenging!