My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2135: Chapter 1968: Perfect

Imperfection, yet the other side can be so beautiful.

Fingerprints write down all encounters, you keep the page of heartbreak.

”Should we meet like this in the future, because we were once so in love, yet now must act as strangers? Do you think this is too cruel for me? You know well that I cannot let go, so why are you making me endure this pain? You really leave me with no choice!”

”Actually, I can see that the feelings between you two must be very strong, so why choose to give up now? Such a good wife, struggling inside for your daughter, while you walk around unable to calm your heart. Do you know this makes it very hard for your wife? She just wants to give you a healthy and happy baby. Sometimes things happen faster than you realize, catching you off guard because it makes you realize that on this journey of life, you must always be vigilant, lest one day you fall behind and end up trampled underfoot!”

Xia Jing knows these words are meant for him, but he lacks any evidence and cannot replicate them.

They were once such a loving couple, but why has it turned out like this as they grow old? It’s a conclusion he never imagined in his life. He wishes all this had never happened, but why doesn’t heaven give him another chance? He just hopes to return to the past and make amends with his wife—is it so difficult? She has given up completely, never to be with him again, while he remains stuck in the corner of the past, unable to free himself...

”People are like this; when they have something, they never appreciate it, but once it’s lost, they realize its importance. To bring it back, they might go to any lengths, but can you really find it again? Can you really make lost things return? Time has passed; can you make it flow backward? It’s impossible, so why persist? Perhaps it’s just that sliver of belief that keeps one alive!”

”Yes, clearly there’s no intersection anymore. Clearly, he has lived well overseas these years, happy and carefree without me, just like when he had me by his side, happy and joyful. So why do I continue to entangle them? Why don’t I give them a way to live? For that bit of narcissism in my heart, do I harm so many people? Because of my inner narcissism, should so many bear the consequences of my past mistakes? I shouldn’t be so selfish. Eventually, paper can’t contain fire, even if now I can’t erase this person from my world; one day, I’m certain to let go of this feeling because this love never belonged to me. A marriage that wasn’t meant for me would never be happy even if together...”

”Do you think he is suitable to be with me? Back then, we defied all odds to be together, even going against my father. Looking back, I was completely unreasonable, saying such things to my father who loves me so much. But as time passed, people change their perspectives. Once understood, things change, but some remain trapped in that dead-end forever...”

”Some sustain themselves not through material means but through that bit of longing, that persistence, giving them faith to live a few more years, or even decades. Without belief, how does one carry on? He doesn’t want his world to crumble and thinks as long as he can happily see those he cares for, safely birthing the child he desires to see, that’s enough for everyone. We shouldn’t be too greedy, should we? Greed doesn’t yield good fruit!”

”Am I greedy? Actually, I’m not greedy. I just hope to see those I love grow happily—is that not good? I just hope to be with those I love forever—is that wrong? Sometimes I really don’t understand why the marriage I worked for ends up spoiled by me over and over, while it could have lasted an eternity. But I play the villain inside, making my marriage so shattered!”

...

Zhang Zhentian talks with himself for a long time, and in the end, he doesn’t want to let his wife leave him like this, but now she feels, since seeing in her threads that she can live more happily and blissfully, isn’t this what he hopes to see? He asks for little in life; he just wants to see those he cares for live joyfully, even if not by his side, they can be happy. That’s enough for him. Yet, Xia Jing has already done this; during the five years without Zhang Zhentian, Xia Jing lives freely abroad. She once almost ended herself over her husband and divorce, but now in retrospect, how childish and ridiculous that was—why give up one’s precious life for a man? Although people say: life is invaluable, love is even higher. For freedom’s sake, both can be abandoned.

Zhang Zhentian struggles for a long time, finally realizing that no matter what he did right or wrong, he shouldn’t punish himself this way. He should sincerely bless his beloved wife, hoping she can live freely even without him by her side, which is the best thing for him, isn’t it?

He loves Xia Jing deeply, but it was his own actions that broke her heart. Now Xia Jing can live happily without him, which perhaps is the greatest boon for him.

I learn to exist alone, turning off the lights doesn’t make me the loneliest, the image of you in my palm is unforgettable, impossible to forget!