My Alleged Husband

Chapter 2124: Chapter 1957: Shoulder to Shoulder

Waiting for one tide to ebb and another to rise again, until all the afterglow is swallowed up—does longing still keep piling up without end?

When Zhang Zhentian heard his own son tell him that his biological father was in critical condition, he was a little stunned to realize that he had really made his own father sick from anger. Now what was he supposed to do with the turmoil in his heart? Clearly the old man had only meant well, had only wanted him to come home, so why did he have to be so cruel and reject him this time? He was already that old, and still spoke up for his son, yet how could he, as a son, be so heartless, so vicious, as to cast him aside.

It was only in this moment that Zhang Zhentian realized what it was he had actually done wrong. If because of this one mistake he were to lose his biological father completely, how was he supposed to ever smooth over the guilt in his heart for the rest of his life? It was clearly a very simple matter, clearly a problem that could have been solved with just one sentence—why did he have to make it so complicated, why did he have to let his own family get hurt? He had already missed out on so much, and in the end he still hurt every single one of them. Maybe he was simply not suited to live with them, or maybe he did not deserve to live with them at all in this lifetime, because all he ever brought them was pain, never happiness.

”Yichen, is what you’re saying true? How could Grandpa be in critical condition? I remember the last time I saw him he was perfectly fine—how has he become like this now? What kind of blow did he suffer?” It would have been better if Zhang Zhentian hadn’t asked; the moment he did, he only made his son even angrier. His son couldn’t understand: this matter clearly had everything to do with his own father, so why was he putting on this look of complete bewilderment? In his eyes, was his own grandfather really that unworthy of being cherished? His grandfather had loved him so much, had practically given him everything. So why was this the outcome? An outcome that left everyone in pain, wasn’t it?

”Do you still think this has nothing to do with you? Ever since last time when Grandpa went to see you, wanting you to come home and stay by his side, from that day on, from the night you turned him away, he’s been depressed at home the whole time. I kept worrying he’d get sick, but I didn’t expect him to really fall ill this time. If my wife hadn’t been at home and discovered him, he might not even be alive now. If one day my grandpa were to leave this world because of any one of you, do you think I would ever forgive you? Do you think you’d still have the face to go on living in this world? If you can treat your own father like this, what else is there that you wouldn’t be capable of doing? Where has your conscience gone? He’s your biological father. Yes, he’s done far too many wrong things, he hurt you all. Even if he once tried to rise in a single step and seize control of your fate, to arrange your whole life for you, didn’t you in the end still leave him? All these years he’s borne all that pain alone in silence, never once telling me how much it hurt. If I hadn’t accidentally walked in on him holding your photograph and crying, I would never have understood: my grandfather just has a hard mouth, but his heart is really soft. His heart is kind. As long as anyone who’s wronged him says a single ’I’m sorry,’ he can forgive them, no matter how wrong they were, he can act as if it never happened. But the hurt you’ve done to him has made it impossible for him to truly feel happy for the rest of his life. You’ve trapped him forever in the pain of being abandoned by you!”

I really don’t understand, my own father—how did your heart become this cruel? Does hurting Grandpa actually make you feel happy inside?

For you, for Mom, Grandpa went through such torment, do you know that? He missed you so much, and yet he chose to say nothing, letting you wander the world on your own, because he knew you were doing it just to rebel against him. He didn’t want to drive you both into a dead end. But what about you?

Everyone has a flesh-and-blood heart—when you hurt him like this, how could his heart possibly not ache? He just chose to say nothing, to shoulder all the pressure and pain alone, because he planned to give all the happiness to his family, to let his own loved ones live a carefree life. But what you’ve done has really shocked me—you’ve hurt him with your actions, turned him into that ”bad” parent in your eyes, and yet you’ve never tried to understand what it was that made him become the way he is now!”

Zhentian was stunned. He had never thought that the truths his own son understood so clearly were things he, as an elder, did not grasp at all. Now, when he thought it over, he asked himself what he had really been doing, to be so ruthless as to hurt his own father, to make his father, in his eyes, into exactly what his son had said. Wasn’t it true? Even though his father had once had so many ideas about him, had once tried to take control of his destiny, in the end hadn’t he let him become the person he wanted to be? Hadn’t he also lived his own little slice of a happy life?

Why are people always like this—never knowing how to cherish what they have, and only realizing how much it hurts after they’ve lost it?

”Son, about Grandpa, I really didn’t do it on purpose, but I hope you can believe me—I never wanted him to get sick and end up in the hospital. I wanted him to be healthy and to live to a ripe old age. No matter what, he’s my biological father, and that’s a fact that can’t be changed. Even if my heart were harder, even if I were cold as ice, there’s no way I could feel nothing for my own father. That day when I turned him down, it was just a moment of impulse. Later, after I’d thought it through, I’d already decided to go home, but then you told me Grandpa was in critical condition. That blow was not small for me at all. If time could be turned back, I would never have refused him that day. I would have thought it over carefully and then told him my decision. I would have let your grandpa know that, in my heart, I do still have him as a father. I also want him to stay by my side, to watch me, and for me to slowly stay by his side as he grows old! But time is always this cruel.

Every time I want to regret what I’ve done wrong, I find that the heavens simply won’t give me that chance. They leave me no room for remorse, force me to spend my whole life in confession and guilt. Maybe this is my fate. I’ve done far, far too many wrong things—I can’t even count them myself. I don’t want to hurt him anymore. If you can forgive me, I want to go to the hospital to see him...”

All the feelings I’ve had for you have always come from the depths of my heart; I’ve never once thought of using anything else as a substitute!