My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1248: Chapter 1077: The Past Can Only Be the Past

Perhaps you all don’t realize it, but your actions brought immense psychological pressure on your son, who never experienced this kind of pressure before, only wanting to live his own life easily without interference from others, yet it’s fundamentally impossible.

I won’t blame you for the pain you’ve caused me because you’re my parents. But please give me some time and hope you can consider my life from my perspective, and understand how miserable I’ve been...

As a father, deep down, he always thinks about how to make his child happy, to live the joyful life everyone desires, rather than enduring hardship time and again, yet gaining nothing in the end. He cannot accept such a fate, yet it seems to have become a destined conclusion in his life, repeatedly escaping but unable to erase it, only allowing fate to carve him up again and again. He manipulated everything about himself, but ultimately found out that it was all just a fleeting cloud.

No matter how much effort he has put in before, at the end of the day, it all went to waste. The things he wanted never came to be. He walked his path step by step, a path that no one ever held much hope for, but he never considered giving up. He believes as long as he can happily live the life he wants, then he has no regrets in this lifetime and is willing to bear all the pain.

”Could it be that as a father, all my demands have been excessive? Or have my actions made you feel that, no matter what, you aren’t willing to take even a small step along the path I set for you? What am I to you deep down? Time and again I poured all my life’s truths into your heart and mind. I want you to know that no matter what you do, and no matter what the result is, we will stay by your side, never abandoning you in this lifetime.

I once thought, if only my parents would give me a little more time, a little more space, a little more companionship, maybe I could live happily. Every soul is human after all, but ultimately, who hasn’t gone through all the heartbreak?

I am also a living person, and I’ve made many mistakes. Not everyone will forgive me for those, but I’ve a clear conscience. Actually, those mistakes have left me with no options for making choices in this lifetime, yet I would do it all the same. Even if time could start over, I wouldn’t change any of my past decisions. Those decisions gave me a different life, pushing myself step by step onto the path of a new era.

Child, as a father, I would never harm my children, no matter how much they hurt me. Deep inside, I always see them as the most precious people. Why can’t you understand this? You once hurt me, turning me into how I am now, yet I never blamed you. Because I knew every decision I made must prove I was right in my actions, I couldn’t let you suffer along with me. Even if you wanted to roam the world, I still gave you freedom. I told you then, I wouldn’t let you return home. Once you stepped out the door, you were no longer my son. But when you came back, I painfully refused you entry. Do you know how much it hurt in my heart at that moment?

You know I’m a person with a sharp tongue but a soft heart, speaking harshly yet feeling deeply. No one has truly understood the pain deep in my heart. Time and again, you all placed your hopes on me, and I bore all the sins alone. I don’t blame any of you, for this was the path I chose by myself.”

”Zhentian, actually, Dad isn’t wrong. Over these years, no one understands your innermost thoughts better than you. But I still hope you can think clearly. No matter who is right or wrong, we should face it with optimism. We shouldn’t burden others with all the pain. Dad is innocent, our son is innocent, and our family is innocent. But the suffering we caused them wasn’t faced with due punishment. Time will change everything, and reality remains harsh, requiring us to adapt to reality again and again, treating it as a beautiful thing to walk a different path in life.

I’ve lived too many years in misery and hatred. I don’t want to continue living in pain in the second half of my life. It’s not just mental torment but also physical, which I can’t bear. When I close my eyes, I see bloody bodies lying before me, all of which I killed one by one. Do you know how terrified I am when they come to claim my life? I’m so scared that I hide under the blankets, trembling, but I dare not tell you. I’m afraid you’d see it as the just punishment for my evil deeds.

I’ve struggled alone for so long, considering everything as the most important aspects of my life. I only wish to be happy. I never expected to be hurt repeatedly. You understand each time I embark on my life’s journey, how excited I am to regard everyone as my family?

We’ve depended on each other over the years, never imagining separation might come one day. Yet separation isn’t necessarily a bad thing for anyone. We should face challenges we’ve never encountered alone. If we remain together, could we face these challenges? I don’t want this ending for us, and I hope you can understand my good intentions. Don’t make it hard for Dad or disappoint our son. They never said they wanted us out. It was all my foolish thinking. Yet why follow my stride knowing it’s a wrong decision? You still plunged ahead regardless, hurtful not to me but our dearest ones. How heartbroken they must be because of us!”

Do not blame others for your actions. Consider what you once had and should return to others and the happiness they gave you. Why vent your anger on them for the hurt you experienced?

I’ve finally understood that the past is just the past; no matter how beautiful you paint it, it can’t change. It has become a past reality...