My Alleged Husband

Chapter 1166: Chapter 1025: Who Wouldn’t Be Moved?

Xia Jing always thought that Zhang Yichen never fell in love, but who knew the heartache and helplessness that his affection brought to so many people.

No one understood his helplessness. Everyone thought he lived easily and freely, but who could see his helplessness and sadness? He always hid under the covers silently, saying nothing. He was afraid, afraid of making everything worse. He wanted to give everyone the greatest sense of comfort, but that feeling was too painful. He couldn’t believe the reason or cause that made everything the way it is. For him, all he wanted was the most genuine feeling. He always felt that no matter what, a part of him would remain touched, even just a little bit, deep inside.

Living in this world, no one can go through life without being moved or heartbroken. Everything he did was so proud. He once thought that as long as he gave all his effort, even if he got nothing in return, he would still be happy, content. He could live his life without regret or resentment, but he couldn’t forget the results that came from everything he had tried to achieve.

”Children, do you know?

In my heart, you are a very strong child, yet I find everything you do so unbelievable. I cannot comprehend what I once gained. I’ve thought that perhaps the happiest thing in my life was meeting you, falling for you, but our greatest regret is abandoning you, causing you unbearable hurt.

I’ve never been afraid of facing everything; my only fear is that in my lifetime I cannot keep you by my side. It’s our initial heartlessness that led to everything now, it’s our repeated actions that have broken this family. I now hope so much for your wife to return to your side, even if it’s just for a moment, an instant. That alone would make me incredibly happy, just to see them by your side.

The hurt we’ve caused you over the years can never be made up for. Maybe you really hate us. Why did I not choose to treat you in a different way? Why did we repeatedly cause you harm with the same things? We wish so much this was just a dream, but is it really just a dream? No one can ever pretend that none of this happened, including you, who might want to forgive us, but deep inside, your heart has still been hurt by this.

Even if you give everything, it all turns out differently than you imagined.”

Zhang Yichen couldn’t bring himself to heed his mother’s words. In his eyes, the things she had done brought him harm he could never forget, not even after so many years had passed. He still harbors it deeply in his heart. The pain I feel now is something that he may never understand. He just hopes he can live a little happier, even if it’s just a little, that would be enough. But in the end, everything has already changed beyond recognition.

”Mom, there are some things I don’t avoid because I’m unaware, but because I don’t want to say them. I don’t want to reopen wounds that have already scabbed over, time and again. Do I have to tear open all the scars repeatedly, exposing bloody wounds in front of you? Has the little guy really let go? Why must you persist in using the children to hurt me? Is wounding me truly your intention?

Mom, since I was little, I understood that no one is infallible. I choose not to say anything because I believe that when someone realizes they made a mistake, they will sincerely repent one day. I have always been waiting for you to comprehend this truth, observing everything silently, yet ultimately, what was the outcome for me?

No matter what harm you once inflicted on me, regardless of whether you sincerely wanted to return to this family, I now refuse to pursue the past any further.

The rights and wrongs of the past are now like fleeting clouds to me, I will no longer foolishly cling to past events. Such actions made life too exhausting for me.”

”Never has anyone demanded of themselves to live as burdensomely as I do. I once thought that as long as I was happy, nothing else mattered, and that a family needn’t dwell on so many rights and wrongs to avoid overburdening themselves and feeling unhappy, thereby causing great deep pain inside.

I once believed that no one would fall in love, yet I eventually found that to be entirely untrue. Everyone can be moved by something they once did. That feeling comes quickly and leaves just as fast, pulsating with the heartbeat, vanishing as unpleasant events occur.

I am no longer as young as I was, no longer easily swayed by someone to make my heart race from a single moment. Such feelings are too subtle, coming quickly and leaving just as fast, ultimately leaving one’s heart battered and bruised. In the past, I thought as long as I was happy, it didn’t matter how others felt, as long as my loved ones stayed beside me. However, I later realized that all this did not align with my expectations at all. It wasn’t what I imagined; you suffer humiliations for them, yet in their eyes, it’s only right for you to do so. I was frightened, unable to pretend nothing ever happened. I could not let all the hurt I had once faced simply fade away with the memories. No one can live unchanged, nor can anyone remember past events forever, nor harm others forever without ever being hurt themselves.”

Everyone has always believed that everything they do is correct, but only later do they realize that everything was really quite different from what they imagined. Only then did they regret their extreme and useless actions.