Limitless Evolution As a Snake

[System: Go grab your girls; let ’em run the casino for a bit; they’re more than capable. You’ve got a new mission waiting, top side.]

Top side...Really?

[System: That’s it, ya legend. We are going top side!!!]

Well. Guess that answers that.

I flick my tail once, feel the smoke curl tighter around my scales, and start moving toward the door. Time to go collect my hoard and figure out what fresh hell is waiting for me up on the surface.

I slither down the stairs, smoke trailing behind me like I’m making some kind of dramatic entrance nobody asked for, and the first thing I see is Cherry doubled over laughing so hard she’s wheezing.

”Oh my god,” she gasps, wiping her eyes, horn stumps twitching like crazy. ”Oh my god, did you see his face? Did you see Hansen and Harden’s faces when that bitch said the truth? I’m gonna be thinking about that for the rest of my life.”

Lyra’s standing a few feet away with her arms uncrossed and her head tilted, just soaking it all in like she’s watching stock prices go up. Which, knowing her, might be exactly what she’s doing.

”This is bad publicity,” she says slowly, ”but it’s still publicity.”

”That’s your takeaway?” I ask.

”It’s all ads, Matt.” She turns to look at me, and there’s a little smile tugging at her mouth. ”By tomorrow this clip’s gonna be everywhere. People love watching rich families implode, and public humiliation! We’re gonna get so much foot traffic.”

Cherry’s still catching her breath when she spins toward me, tail flicking excitedly. ”Wait, wait, wait, is Channel part of the harem now? Like, is that a thing that happened? Because I feel like a lot happened and I need to know where I stand.”

”No,” I laugh. ”She’s not part of the harem.”

”Okay, good. Just checking, wasn’t jealous or anything, just doing a headcount.”

She’s absolutely lying, horn tips twitching like mad, but I let it slide.

Lyra’s eyes narrow a little, professional mode kicking in. ”Are we gonna kill her? Loose end like that, she knows too much.”

”Nah.” I wave a smoke hand, lazy. ”We won’t have to. Pretty sure Hansen and Harden are gonna handle that themselves; they looked ready to unravel the second the cameras started rolling. Won’t need my help there.”

Lyra nods slowly, filing that away, and honestly, the fact that she’s already thinking three steps ahead instead of panicking is exactly why I keep her around.

”Come on,” I whisper, curling smoke around both of them, pulling them close. ”Let’s go upstairs. I’ve got something to tell you two.”

The hotel room’s still a mess from earlier, but I did make sure to toss the blankets; can’t have gross harpy stains near my gems. Cherry flops onto the bed first, dragging Lyra down with her, and I settle in between them, coiling loose so I’m not squishing anybody, just close enough that my scales are pressed warm against both of their skin.

”So,” I start, and already Cherry’s looking at me with that wide, worried expression like she can tell something’s coming.

”I’m heading topside for a while. There’s something I’ve gotta do up there, some kind of job—I don’t have all the details yet, but it sounds big. The kind of thing that could open up a lot of doors for us, honestly.”

The room goes quiet for a second.

”You’re leaving?” Cherry’s voice cracks a little on the word, horn stumps twitching hard now.

”Not leaving, leaving.” I curl a smoke-filled hand around her cheek, gentle. ”I’ll come back whenever. You two can run the casino while I’m gone; you’re both way better at the business side than me anyway.”

Lyra’s quiet, processing, green eyes locked on mine.

”And whatever you two earn while I’m up there,” I add, ”it’s yours. All of it. Not taking a cut, not skimming off the top. It’s your money.”

Cherry sniffles, pulling her coat tight around herself even though it’s warm in here. ”But what if something happens and you’re not around and—”

”I trust you, and you’re strong now; with my skills are your skills.” I grinned, and I mean it, feel it settle warm in my chest same as the buzz from earlier. ”I trust you to protect the hoard. Protect the den. I mean—”

I catch myself, laugh a little at my own dumb slip. ”Protect each other. Protect our money. You two are more than capable, you don’t need me hovering over every decision.”

Lyra’s face softens, that sharp business look melting into something quieter. ”You’re serious about this.”

”Dead serious. And hey, it’s not like the surface and the sewers are different planets. You can come up whenever you want, or I’ll come down. I’ll figure out somewhere safe for you two topside too, just like we’ve got down here.”

Lyra’s smile spreads slowly and real, the kind she doesn’t fake. ”Okay. Yeah. Okay, I like that plan.”

Cherry’s still sniffling, but there’s a smile fighting through it too, wobbly and small. ”You promise you’ll visit?”

”Promise.” I tighten the smoke around both of them, pull them in closer. ”And if you ever need me, just pull the bond. I’ll feel it. I’ll come running, or slithering, whatever, you know what I mean.”

”Top us up,” Cherry mumbles into my shoulder, and I can practically hear the blush in her voice.

”Yeah. Exactly that.”

She laughs, wet and hiccupy, and I take the opportunity to jab a smoke hand into her side, right where I know she’s ticklish, and she shrieks and flails and Lyra’s laughing now too, trying to squirm away from the second hand I’ve already got creeping toward her ribs.

”Matt—no—stop—” Lyra’s gasping between laughs, kicking at the sheets, and Cherry’s full-on cackling now, tears streaming for a completely different reason than a second ago.

For a minute, the whole mess downstairs, Raymond melting down, the uncles probably hyperventilating, the entire criminal empire crumbling on livestream, all of it just fades into background noise.

[System: OI, don’t forget about me? Where’s my tickles? Also, TikTok, we gotta move; there’s something about a spider and electricity we need to fix.]

Wait what?