I Might Be A Fake Cultivator

Translator: Henyee Translations Editor: Henyee Translations

“Is this the place?”

“What an… interesting place…”

“Hmm, it’s not a big place, but the style of construction is quite intricate!”

“What’s the point of having a big restaurant? He only makes one dish per day anyway, so how many customers will he have a day? If you ask me, this restaurant could even be smaller.”

“I just want to ask why he did he decide to use alloy walls.”

“… Haha, could it be that he’s afraid his little restaurant will explode?”

All the immortals gathered laughed as they chatted with one another.

In the end, a few immortals decided to pool their funds together in order to buy a dish.

None of the other immortals joined on this. All of them stood outside the restaurant and continued chatting with one another.

They didn’t enter the restaurant either. After all, it would be a bit weird if all of them crowded into the restaurant and did nothing but spectate.

All of these immortals were simply waiting to see the expressions on the faces of the immortals who had just pooled their money to buy a dish. This was the most exciting part for all the spectators.

The restaurant was initially quite peaceful.

All the immortals that had entered the restaurant were probably waiting for the food to arrive.

However, a burst of scintillating revered light burst through the windows and the gaps around the door and everything changed. The silent atmosphere was instantly shattered as violent surges and explosions of energy erupted.

“This…”

All the spectating immortals outside the restaurant stared at each other in befuddlement.

At this moment, an impossibly alluring scent wafted out from within the restaurant.

This was an incredibly irresistible scent, and it told them the entire story behind what was going on in the restaurant.

All the immortals swallowed involuntarily as their stomachs grumbled. They were all struck by the near-irrepressible urge to charge into the restaurant and feast on the dish inside.

Not long after that, the immortals inside the restaurant made their way out from within.

All of their faces were strangely flushed, and an immense sense of satisfaction could be gleaned from their expressions.

The spectating immortals immediately asked, “How was it? How was the dish?”

“The taste… It was so-so! But a hundred thousand spirit stones is a little too expensive,” Fei Long The Enlightened replied with a blissful smile.

Celestial Maiden Ying Cao, whose face was still flushed, nodded in agreement. “An Lin’s cooking skills are exemplary, but a hundred thousand spirit stones is indeed a little expensive. That’s all I have to say. You can make the decision for yourselves.”

All the other immortals who had entered the restaurant gave similar accounts of their experiences.

Some of the spectating immortals believed this to be true, while others were a little skeptical as they felt like there was something amiss.

The next day, the Heavenly Court Chef God An Lin Restaurant reopened for business.

Another large group of immortals arrived.

Some of the immortals that were skeptical from yesterday arrived again, upon which they discovered something quite odd.

“What the f*ck?! Celestial Maiden Ying Cao, Fei Long The Enlightened, why are you both here again? Didn’t you say a hundred thousand spirit stones was too expensive, so it wasn’t worth the money?” One of the immortals gathered let loose a cry of surprise.

A blush appeared on Celestial Maiden Ying Cao’s face. “We’re just worried that An Lin’s restaurant is going to close down due to insufficient patronage, so we decided to help him out as paying customers…”

The immortal’s lips twitched upon hearing this. Who would believe such a sh*tty lie!

All the other immortals also came to a sudden realization. The dish they had eaten yesterday had clearly been overwhelmingly delicious, and they had only given those lackluster reviews in order to discourage other immortals from fighting with them for this limited resource!

If this were just a normal restaurant with delicious food, they would be more than happy to recommend it within one another. However, what if that restaurant only cooked one dish a day and the people leaving the reviews wanted to take that dish for themselves?

Only an idiot would recommend that restaurant to everyone!

The immortals gathered instantly erupted in a frenzy as they flooded toward An Lin’s restaurant.

That’s right, after that bizarre sequence of events, the curiosity of the immortals had been massively piqued, leading to a new wave of popularity to the restaurant.

An Lin looked up at the wave of immortals hurtling toward his restaurant, and he was given quite a fright.

It had only been three days, and his restaurant was already this popular? This was crazy!

Thus, his tiny restaurant was stacked with immortals in the blink of an eye.

“An Lin, give me a Chang’e Pursuing The Moon!”

“Piss off, I came here first! Give me a Thinking of You Night And Sun!1”

“An Lin, it’s me, do you remember me? I’m Celestial Maiden Ying Cao! I’m an old customer of yours! Customers like me should take priority!”

“Big Brother An Lin, I’m calling you big brother, so you have to look after me!”

“An Lin, I am the Moon Elder1! You better hurry up and cook me a dish, or I’ll sever all of your future relationships!”

An Lin: “…”

Thus, all the immortals announced the dishes of their desires and tried to convince An Lin to cook for them through all manners of tactics, placing him under a vast amount of pressure.

An Lin was forced to propose a more fair course of action. “Er… Please calm down and listen to me, Seniors. As you all know, my restaurant can only produce one dish a day due to special circumstances, so I won’t be able to satisfy all your requests at once.

“How about this? I’ll hold an auction with a base price of a hundred thousand spirit stones, going up in bids of ten thousand spirit stone increments. The highest bidder will get the dish, so there’s no need for all this conflict. What do you all think?”

Boom!

Everyone instantly fell into a stunned silence upon hearing this.

A hundred thousand spirit stones was already an astronomical price, and he was still trying to plunder more f*cking money?

“A hundred and eleven thousand spirit stones!” Celestial Maiden Ying Cao immediately cast the first bid.

“Gasp…” All the immortals drew sharp intakes of breath.

“A hundred and twelve thousand spirit stones! Please don’t fight with an old man like me. Otherwise, I’ll sever all of your future relationships!” the Moon Elder threatened with a malicious smile.

All the immortals trembled upon hearing this. The Moon Elder had brought out his trump card, the Single-For-Life Atomic Bomb!

Who dared to challenge him? No one wanted to be single for life!

“I, the mighty Heaven Defying Dog, don’t believe in your bullsh*t! A hundred and thirty thousand spirit stones!” A man with dark skin and a pair of dog ears retorted with a carefree smile.

“Gasp…”

Not even the Moon Elder’s trump card could break this foodie’s determination!

“Hmph! A young Celestial Maiden like me need not be afraid of the single life! A hundred and forty thousand spirit stones!” Another foodie Celestial Maiden cast another bid.

“Moon Elder, if you dare to sever our future relationships, we’ll band together and tear your house down!” A group of six immortals cast a collective bid. “A hundred and fifty thousand spirit stones!”

Another stir erupted throughout the entire restaurant.

An Lin was chortling with glee in his heart.

Haha, fight and argue all you want! How can you take a threat from the Moon Elder without retaliating? You have to fight, even if you discard your dignity as an immortal!!

In any case, he would be the biggest winner in the end.

After a series of bids, the Lightning God and Lightning Goddess couple managed to secure the dish with a final bid of two hundred thousand spirit stones.

All the immortals were dumbstruck as their adrenaline slowly faded.

“Holy f*ck! A dish that was already astronomically priced at a hundred thousand spirit stones was elevated to a price of two hundred thousand spirit stones after an auction? This was way too f*cking scary to even think about!”

Just this one dish could buy them a very decent spirit tool!

“Today is our nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-ninth wedding anniversary, so please cook us a Harmony Between Sun And Moon, An Lin!” the Lightning God instructed with a buoyant smile.

“No problem! Congratulations on your long and harmonious marriage and the dish you ordered will be ready shortly!” An Lin put away the two hundred thousand spirit stones gleefully before turning to enter the kitchen.

Not long after that, the Harmony Between Sun And Moon was ready.

Upon opening the lid on the dish, revered light burst forth, followed by a phenomenon in the form of the sun and moon appearing at the same time, refusing to abandon one another, creating a profound scene of harmony and untold love.

The lightning couple ate the dish, and they couldn’t help but recall all they had been through in the past nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine years. As their emotions flourished, they began to make out across the table.

All the single people present who were having their stomachs abused were now also having their relationship status abused.

They all walked out of the restaurant with dazed expressions.

“Was that dish really worth two hundred thousand spirit stones?”

“It was definitely overpriced! The price was only inflated by the auction! Once everything dies down, the price will inevitably fall!”

“Exactly! He might even be forced to make a discount due to a lack of customers!”

All the immortals chatted among themselves as they walked away from the restaurant. At the same time, tales of An Lin’s two hundred thousand spirit stone dish caused another sensation in the Heavenly Court!

Countless people began to discuss An Lin’s restaurant. Some were in shock, some were openly skeptical, and some were struggling to comprehend how this could have even happened. There were even people pointing to this as a marketing stunt that was to be frowned upon!

A new day arrived.

The Heavenly Court Chef God An Lin Restaurant was once again packed to the rafters by immortals.

Another rowdy auction ensued.

The final bid was two hundred and fifty thousand spirit stones!

Countless immortals were stunned yet again. Were there really that many stupid c*nts out there? Or could it be…

Another day passed by.

On the fifth day, the dish produced by An Lin’s Heavenly Court Chef God An Lin Restaurant was auctioned off for a jaw-dropping three hundred thousand spirit stones!

News of this created the biggest stir in the entire Heavenly Court yet!!!